Dreams In Technicolor
by WordsAreTrivial
Summary: The hardest story in the world to summarise. "Some people's fates are written in the very stars above" - 2 book story, somewhat of an ensemble piece but Delena all the way. Rated M for strong language and sexual content. Narrated by Damon. Longer A/N inside.
1. The Beginning Of Everything Maybe

**A/N: So I know there are a lot of these stories but the idea came to me in a dream, oddly enough, and it just demanded to be written. It's actually an exceptionally hard story to summarise but basically it's a 2 book story, book 1 is an amalgamation of Seasons 1 & 2 and book 2 dovetails into a semi-original plot with help from Seasons 3 & 4. **

**It is slightly AU so there are a few minor adjustments, character differences etc. And most importantly it's Delena all the way. I absolutely love this chapter it turned into one of my favourite pieces of writing ever, so if you're reading it I hope you enjoy. I do not own The Vampire Diaries. **

**Dreams In Technicolor**

**The Beginning Of Everything. Maybe**

_After all the dreaming I come home again – Adam Duritz_

It all started in a cell in 1953.

Well, that's not strictly true actually, it all started a _long_ time before that, but the dreaming, the dreams started in a cell.

They didn't come frequently at first, back then it was only once every few months, infrequently enough that I still woke up gasping for air, trying to figure out why they felt so damn _real_.

I'm lying on the road, in the dreams, all I can see are the stars above me and I don't know where I am, but I can feel the cool night breeze on my cheek, I can hear the whispers of the wind in the leaves of the trees in a forest behind me, if I listen closely enough I can hear the running water of a river somewhere nearby.

There is silence, darkness and bright golden stars above me and I feel strangely _peaceful_. At first, I thought I understood the dreams. I thought my mind was simply giving me a reprieve from the torment, from the hell, from the torture, that my body, my mind, was going through stuck in that impenetrable cell with only a ration of blood to stop me from drying out completely.

It made a lot of sense, when you look at it that way, in my dreams I could taste freedom, I could feel the air, I could exist somewhat peacefully, yeah, it made a lot of sense, until it didn't.

It stopped making sense when the dreams evolved, I was still in the same place, still lying on the ground staring at the stars up above me when I heard a voice, a girl's voice, I couldn't see her, couldn't move from the place I was lying, but I could _hear_ her. And what I could hear, well it confused the hell out of me at first.

"_I know Bonnie, you're right. You and my mom both are. I just can't bring myself to tell him. At least, not tonight. I'll call you later" _

That was it, that's all I got, at first, but it was enough. I'd recognise that voice anywhere, _Katherine_. At least, that's what I thought, in my dreams. But when I woke up that first night, gasping from the sheer _delight _of hearing her voice again, I realised, that it _wasn't_ Katherine.

Sure, the voice is basically identical but if you just listen closely enough, then you realise that the tone is a little different, whoever the hell the girl in my dreams is, she's not Katherine, her voice carries an innocence that Katherine could never pull off, she just sounds a whole lot like Katherine.

"Bad dream mate?" my cell-mate, Enzo, my best friend, my _only_ friend, asked me that question every single time I woke up heaving from that dream and I could never figure out whether to answer in the negative, or the affirmative. All I knew was that I wanted to sleep more; I wanted to stay inside that dream forever. My sleep was the only place I ever found peace in those days.

Before the night that ruined everything, before the night I got my freedom back, before the night I had to leave my best friend to die to save myself, before the night I flipped the switch on my emotions, _one_ night before I had the dream again.

I hadn't had it, in months, I kept hoping, wishing it would come back and it never did, until that night, I think, in hind-sight, it was giving me something to live for.

Because when I realised that I was going to have to either die in that fire with my best friend or leave him behind, I nearly made the choice to stay. I thought maybe it would be best if I let the fire consume us both, put us both out of our misery and die together, comrades until the bitter end.

But then I remembered the dream, I knew that there was something important, something so important, something that was bigger than me, bigger than Enzo, that I had to do, even though I had no reasoning for this other than my own personal insanity, but maybe I was just looking for a reason to walk out those doors.

The only way I could do it though was to flip the switch. And I did, I flipped it, and I walked away from my best friend, the only friend I ever really made, sans-Stefan, my brother, but he doesn't really count because, well, he's family and we hate each other these days. The point is I flipped the switch and I walked away, and after that, well, after that everything was _fine_.

I forgot about the dreams, forgot that I'd decided I had some kind of destined-purpose in life, I forgot about everything that didn't involve feeding, killing and fucking pretty girls. That's the thing about being an emotionless creature of the night, if you flip the switch on your humanity, there's nothing left to feel, and I could have _remembered _the dreams, if I wanted to, but at the time, I didn't want to, because remembering the dreams, meant remembering Enzo, meant remembering what I had to do to survive, meant remembering watching my best friend go down in a blaze of fire.

Yeah, everything was fucking _fine_. Until they came back.

Boy did they come back, I managed to get all the way until the late 80's without having that damn dream again and then one night, I woke up gasping for air just like I did all those nights in the cell and it all came flooding back in.

I nearly killed myself right there and then. That flood of emotion, _feeling_ so fucking much, after such a very long time of feeling nothing, was almost too much to handle, it was almost too heavy a cross to bear.

So I concentrated on one thing, I learnt one new thing from that dream that could have changed everything, or could have changed nothing. I'm still not sure.

Nothing else changed, scenery was the same, I won't bore you with all the details again, I was still lying in the middle of the road, still couldn't see her, but one line, the delivery of two simple, simple words, two words, one name, changed everything and nothing all at once.

"_I'm Elena" _who the fuck is Elena?

This question has _tormented_ me for years, I never got any more than that, the dreams came in startling frequency but nothing else ever changed and I thought one day I might just go out of my damn mind with all the questioning over who the fuck this Elena girl is and what the hell she wants with me.

I knew, in every part of me, that these couldn't _just_ be dreams, something, someone, some power, I don't know, was bringing them to me, there was a purpose, a reason, and I don't just say that because I'm a man who needs a purpose in life, although that is true, but I already have a purpose, had a purpose, I'm not sure which yet.

My _purpose_, my _goal_, was Katherine, rescuing Katherine from the tomb she's managed to get herself all trapped up in for the last 150 years. Or at the very least, it _was_ my purpose, until I found my waking, and most of my nights, thoughts consumed by someone entirely different, by someone called _Elena, _a girl I don't know, have never met and truth be told don't even fucking know for sure _exists_.

Yeah, great one Damon, _real_ smart. That's what you get for believing in dreams you know.

You get confused, you get conflicted, you get twisted in what's real and what's make believe, you get lost in a land of dark starry nights and voices that feel like velvet running over your skin, you blur the lines between sanity and insanity, reality and fiction, you start to wonder if you're really losing the plot, you start to wonder if it's _possible_ for a vampire to lose the plot. I haven't decided the answer to that question yet, I'll be sure to get back to you on it.

After I got my emotions back a hundred fold, all at once, cheers for that dream, real sweet of you, I dealt with the things I had done. I tried to move past things that were, well, in the past, I let myself feel the guilt, the shame, the regret, I finally let myself enjoy the freedom that I had, and I started building my walls so high that no one would be able to climb them.

It's easy to pretend to be a vampire with your humanity off, and I knew, that for what was coming, that's what I'd have to do, because I was going to have to go back to Mystic Falls, not for another 10 years or so but a man needs time to plan, deceive, learn how to fake it til' you make it.

Yep I was going back to Mystic Falls, my birthplace, my hometown, the place I was born, the place I died, the place I was born again, kinda. Going to rescue a girl out of a tomb and then probably gonna burn the place to the ground when we were done.

See Katherine was never one for my emotional side, she got whatever emotions she needed out of my brother, I was there purely for her pleasure, but I figured that was good enough for me, it's not like I wasn't a mutually beneficial partner in our sordid, twisted little ménage a threesome.

Of course by this point we're only in the fucking 90's, the dream's been back for a decade, but when we hit the late 90's it changed again. The actual dream itself didn't change, words were the same, I only ever got as far as _"I'm Elena" _but the frequency of them sure as hell changed.

Every. Fucking. Night.

Yeah, you heard me, every damn night they came, torturing me, tormenting me, twisting me up inside, every night I woke up with this unexplainable need to suck all of the oxygen in the room into my lungs, this desire to just be able to _breathe, _which, ironic, because I don't actually need to fucking breathe.

It didn't matter that the dreams were the same, that nothing ever changed, it didn't matter that they came every night, that nothing ever happened, that voice, that silky, velvety voice was _destroying_ my mind, my everything.

So I decided that I needed to do something about it, crazy thing is, what the hell are you supposed to do about a fucking _dream_?

Let me tell you what I did. Night after night after night I roamed the damn _country_. I must have lay down on every fucking road that America has to offer a man, underneath the stars, contemplating whether the sounds were _just_ right, whether the water was close enough, whether the stars looked the same.

For _12_ years, I lay on every road I came across underneath a blanket of stars and waited, hoped, _prayed_ that my dream would just come to life and give me a fucking break. I hadn't decided what I was going to do with this, figment of my imagination, if she did in fact come to life, for a while I thought maybe I would just kill her and be done with it, surely her death would mean the end of the endless cycle of tormenting dreams, but I quickly discarded that idea as one of the _worst _I've ever had.

Like I said, I was so sure that there was a purpose to this dream, there was something bigger than me, bigger than life itself, I was convinced. And so I took myself on a road-trip, literally, and I never found her.

Are ya surprised? 'Cause I wasn't. What the hell did you expect? It's a goddamn _dream, _no more, no less, there's no purpose. There's no _destiny_. There's nothing magical about a fucking dream. I don't know why I had it, don't know what it was trying to tell me, don't know who the hell _Elena_ is or if she ever fucking existed.

So I gave up my fruitless search, I went back to lying on roads for the sheer hell of it, because it helps me find answers, lying there underneath the stars, questioning your life, your beliefs, your battles, your hopes, ambitions, dreams, purposes, whatever, trust me, it's one of the best feelings in life. If you've never done it, you should.

Go, right now, find yourself a nice deserted road, on a cool dark night, lie down on it and think yourself into oblivion underneath a canopy of stars. Oh, and if you hear a car coming, get the fuck up, I'm not telling you to go _die_, I'm telling you to _live_.

Unless you're a vampire, in which case stay where you are and eat whoever is insane enough to stop for a mad-man lying in the middle of a damn road. They probably had it comin'.

Regardless, I'm deviating from the point here; I gave up my fruitless search, and returned my thoughts to pastures greener, to purposes I knew and understood, to the reason I've lived for so fucking long. It's time to save Katherine.

When I made the final decision to come back to Mystic Falls, the dreams stopped. One night they were there, the next night, gone, up in a poof of smoke as if they never existed in the first place. Maybe they didn't. What the hell do I know anymore? All I know is that they stopped and I was _grateful_.

And now I'm back in Mystic Falls, my little brother is here as well, though he doesn't know I'm around, I'm not ready for anyone to know I'm back yet, not ready for _him_ to know why I'm here. He doesn't deserve to know shit.

I don't know why he's here exactly, seems _awfully_ coincidental that he just happens to turn up in town right around comet-time, but I'm _sure_ he doesn't know about the spell Emily Bennett cast to save Katherine, and the others, in the tomb, that was my deal with her, and I don't think she would have told Stefan. Never much liked him. Never much liked me either, truth be told, but I promised I'd protect her family and in return she saved the vampires, and now I'm gonna save Katherine.

I've come to lie on this road, there's something, vaguely familiar about it, I can't tell if it's because I've been on so many fucking roads that after 12 years they all just blur into one and the same, or if it's because I've probably done this exact same thing on this exact same road once or twice before, a century and a half ago.

Regardless, there's something a little familiar about it and I bask in that familiarity, it feels like coming home, which in a way fits because I have, come home. So I'm lying, gazing at the stars, tracing patterns into the sky with my fingers and contemplating my reunion with Katherine when the most _unexpected_ thing happens.

"_I know Bonnie, you're right. You and my mom both are. I just can't bring myself to tell him. At least, not tonight. I'll call you later" _

Am I dreaming? Is it back? Please tell me it's not back.

But I can move. I'm so fucking confused, I don't know whether this is the dream and it's changing or whether this is real or if I've finally just gone insane. But I can move and fuck me if I'm not gonna find out more than her name.

I stand up and walk over to the voice, the voice that I've heard so many times on so many different nights, the voice that has given me, joy, tears, life, purpose, never-ending sorrow and a whole pyramid of other emotions that I can't name right now.

She _looks_ just. like. Katherine.

But I already know she isn't. I ask her though, just in case this is a really, really bad fucking game.

No she says.

"_I'm Elena" _yes. Yes you are.


	2. A Fine Mess?

**A/N: I was a little remiss in my A/N for chapter 1 and I forgot to say that this entire story is dedicated to my very good friend Candy Momo, she asked me to write a 'what if Damon didn't compel Elena' story and this is what it turned into. **

**Thank you to everyone who has followed/reviewed so far, especially the guests I can't reply to personally. I hope you continue to enjoy! Do let me know. **

**A Fine Mess?**

_That's for me to know and you to dot dot dot – Damon Salvatore_

"_I'm Elena" _her words reverberate around my head, pounding through my mind, until I feel like I'm going to explode and I'm sure I look like a foolish mad-man from the way I'm gawking at her and I realise that I really need to say something, I want to reach out and touch her, my hand comes up involuntarily just to make sure that she's really _real_ but I don't want to scare her so I push that urge far down inside of myself and pull my hand down again.

She's looking around, behind her, as if she's waiting for someone and I know _now_, I need to speak, now, or she'll disappear again and I'm not ready for that to happen. I need to know _more_.

Finally some semblance of function comes to me and I open my mouth to speak, only to fumble over words, eventually I settle on:

"_I'm Damon"_ she sucks in a sharp breath and her eyes latch on to mine, her eyes, oh god her eyes are _incredible_, I think I'm drowning in them. I do not understand this, the dream has never gone this far before, I've never _seen_ her before but parts of me feel like I've known her always. And it's not because she looks like Katherine.

The resemblance is uncanny I'll grant you, same height, same weight I'd venture, but Elena's hair is sleek and straight and shiny; Katherine always had hers in tight little ringlets or sexy soft curls framing her face, it's the eyes that do it though. The eyes are so very, very different.

Katherine's eyes hold a cruel glint, a cheeky, sexual, playful 'I know something you don't know' quality; there was never any real _light_ in her eyes. Elena's eyes all there is, is light; a purity that most assuredly reaches the depths of her very soul, but mirrored with a fire, bright burning fire that dances and twinkles underneath these stars I've found myself under once again and now, _now_ I understand why it looked so familiar.

Who the hell would have known that I only had to come back to Mystic Falls to find the girl in my dreams?

Eventually she breaks me out of my spell, her spell, by holding up her phone and telling me that she got into a fight with her boyfriend. That word makes me want to _break_ things, people, the world. She has a _boyfriend_. I shouldn't even care, I'm _supposed_ to be here for Katherine, remember I gave up on the dream? Turned back to the purpose I was sure I was set out for. Now I'm just back to being confused.

She says this _boyfriend_ has their future all mapped out, and I gotta say, from spending all of thirty seconds with the girl, I can kinda see why. If she were _mine_ I'd have our future all mapped out as well. I'd have it written in the fucking stars, I'd never let her go. But I can see that she doesn't want it, whatever it is this boy, this juvenile _child_ has planned out for their lives, the fire in her eyes dims just a little when she talks about it, so I ask her what she does want.

Those deep brown eyes flash towards me again and they light up as they trail their way across my face, up and down she studies me intently, and I'm almost certain that she's going to say she wants _me_. But then she just looks a little confused, and instead says that she doesn't know what she wants.

But she does, deep down inside of her she knows. She wants what we all want; we're all the same really, vampire, human, witch, fucking Christmas _fairy_, we all want the same thing. We want to be loved, we want to be worshipped, cherished, adored, we want the ever-lasting love that we read of in the fairytales and poetry we grew up with, we want to be _consumed_ with love until there is nothing left but the burnt ashes of who we used to be, because love itself has taken over us.

We want to go places, see things, _be_ things, we want to explore and learn and grow and nurture. Well, maybe the humans want to nurture that's not really a vampire thing. We want a little bit of excitement, a little bit of danger, we want to _live_. So I tell her that.

"_You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, and adventure, and even a little danger" _come on, admit it, it really is what you want too, isn't it?

"So what do you want?" she asks me. And I am madly unsure on how to answer that question.

I want to give her all of those things I just said, I want all of those things I just said and I know sure as shit I'm not gonna get it out of Katherine, never did before, never will again even if I do ride up on my white horse and save her trapped ass.

I want to know what this means, I want to know why I've been dreaming of this girl standing in front of me, for the better part of 60 fucking years when she can't be a day over 17.

I want to take her and run far away, I want to keep her _forever_, I want to show her everything life has to offer. Just, call me Aladdin and give me a magic lamp 'cause I can show you the fucking world. Shining, shimmering, splendid and all that other nonsense. What? I watch Disney, girls like that shit.

None of these things though I can say, because I know what has to be done. I have to make her forget me, at least until I can figure all of this out. Decide where to go from here, what to do next, what my fucking _purpose_ should be.

She lets me know that her parents have arrived and she seems somewhat sad by this news, as if she wants to stand out here on this road and talk to me more too, I wish we could, but we can't. I have to let her go, even if it's only for now, I can find her again it's not exactly a busy town, I just need a little time, so I stick with makeshift plan and when she looks up I start to capture her eyes with mine.

"_I want you to get everything that you're looking for but –"_

Why is she touching me?

Her hand. Her hand is pressed against my chest and my entire body feels like it's on _fire_. I look down at her hand, just to confirm that neither one of us actually _is _on fire, but nope, no flames, not even a sizzling ember, just fucking _feels _like I'm burning. In a good way though; in the very best of ways.

When I look back up at her face to continue with my plan to compel her, she looks just as shocked and confused as I feel. Her eyes track the path between her hand and my face a couple of times before landing on my eyes again.

"Don't" she says, barely a whisper that I wouldn't be able to hear if I wasn't a vampire. "Please don't make me forget."

What the? How does she? _Who_? Huh?

Wait a minute. Where did she go?

I hear a car door slam and then drive away.

Well fuck. I've really gone and done it now haven't it?

I spend the next few days wandering the forests of Mystic Falls, sticking to the shadows, avoiding my brother, my house, the population, trying to figure out what the holy hell is going on around here and what the holy hell I'm gonna do about it all. I feel like I _may_ have created a bit of a mess for myself and I'm not entirely sure of how to fix it.

That first night, I wasn't even convinced that I wasn't just dreaming again, or hallucinating maybe, I thought maybe I was so far gone that I'd just made the entire encounter up in my head, but I know it was real now. She _exists_.

I know this because when I thought I was dreaming again I decided to take my ring off and throw my hand out into the sunlight for a second. Yep, burned like a motherfucker. Not the good kind of burn either, the very worst kind of burn.

I know that I wasn't hallucinating because I tracked her, and then I found her, or at least I found where she lives. I can't get inside, obviously, I'm a vampire and I have to be invited inside, but there's a tree right outside her bedroom window and I sat there until I saw her.

I did see her, only for a second because I couldn't bear what I saw. I couldn't handle it without being able to _do_ something about it so I took off back to the forest again, anyone would think I'm becoming my brother. He's got a bit of a thing for the forest animals, it's all very weird and unappealing if you ask me.

The point is, _Elena_ was crying, not just normal crying, but terrible, wailing, gasping, can't breathe 'I'm going to die' sort of crying, I don't know what happened yet but I'm determined to find out, which is my mission for today.

I've decided to start living in the moment, or at least, trying to which, for a man like me is kind of a big deal, I've _always_ had some sort of plan, purpose, a place I was going, a destination in mind, I knew what I wanted and I worked out how to get it and then I got it. Simple as that.

But now I feel like I've been thrown into a whirlwind with no clue of what's going on around me and no clue what my plan should be, or where I'm supposed to go, or what I'm supposed to do, about any of it, so I think the best thing to do right now is live in the moment. And in this moment I'm going to find out what happened to Elena. If someone _hurt_ her, I think I might rip off a few heads of my own. Another one of my brother's little quirks, nasty habit really.

Or at least, that was the plan. Until I step out of the shadows and run smack bang into aforementioned brother.

"Brother" Stefan greets me quietly. How did he find me? How did he know I was _here_? I ask him both of these questions in confusion and I get one word in response.

"Elena". Well, apparently my brother doesn't much feel like talking today.

See? This is what you get for letting girls from dreams ruin your best laid plans. If I'd just focused on _compelling _her then _Stefan_ wouldn't have found out that I was in town.

"How do you know her?" I ask him with both confusion and suspicion written all over my face. Did he have the dreams too? Is that why he's here?

"I go to school with her" he says simply, with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, you go to _school_ with her?" he's in high-school? What the hell kinda vampire is he? I mean I know he was 17 when we turned but come on, who the hell wants to repeat _high-school_? It's a lie folks; those years are so _not_ the best years of your life. Don't be fooled.

"Well, not yet but I will be" he clarifies the situation for me. Only he doesn't. At all. Because now I'm more confused than I was before. So he is in school, or he isn't? And he knows Elena, or he doesn't?

Conversations with my brother always end up baffling me in one way or another; he's not the easiest vampire in the world to understand. Too much philosophical babbling and brooding going on up in that head of his.

"That's...enlightening Stefan. I'll ask you again, how do you know her?" don't make me beat it out of you brother, because you know I will. And you know I'll take a great deal of pleasure from doing it.

Don't worry about the brotherly fighting; it's kind of our 'thing'. We've been in this on-again, off-again miserable cycle for the better part of 100 years. When I turned I vowed to provide my brother with an 'eternity of misery', 'cause I'm kinda freaky like that and if he doesn't start 'fessing up what he knows sometime soon then we're gonna be in the on-again part of that promise.

"Why are you here, Damon?" ah god, you can never just get a straight answer out of this damn boy. I definitely don't want to tell him about the dreams, not before I know whether he's been having them as well, not before I know why he's here and what he wants with Elena, in fact I don't really want to tell Stefan much of anything.

"I have a diabolical master plan. You'll find out soon enough, now answer the damn question before I say hello in an altogether different way" I take a step towards him as if I'm going to do just that and he takes one backwards. I know this dance well; it's one we've perfected over the countless decades.

I'm not even really that interested in fighting my brother for a change, I just wanna know what the hell he knows and then I'll leave him to it, or not, depending on what he tells me. I threw in the 'diabolical master plan' part because that's what he _expects_ from me.

He doesn't know my switch is firmly locked and loaded in the upright and 'on' position. The last thing he knew I was still raining blood in New York City and I have no immediate intentions to clear the matter up for him.

I'd rather let him think that I have some sort of ulterior motive than he know the real reason I'm here. What that real reason actually _is_ now I'm not entirely sure of, but I'll get back to you on that, I'm keeping a mental note.

Stefan still hasn't uttered another word; he's just standing there, leaning against a tree looking for all the world like he has all the time in the world to come up with a plausible excuse as to why he's back in this unfortunate town and what it has to do with Elena.

But he doesn't because the longer he takes the more I know he's trying to come up with a lie and he knows that I know, because there is no one in this world who knows my brother better than I know him.

With all of these things in mind, he clearly decides just to tell me the truth for once in his pitiful existence. And the truth, the truth blows _my_ mind.

"I saved her life."


	3. Clarity

**A/N: Hello readers, *waves* thanks so much for your lovely reviews, I just love hearing from you! Hope you enjoy Chapter 3.**

**Clarity**

_High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life - Zedd_

He _saved_ her _life_? When did this miracle happen? When was her life in _danger_? My face clearly agrees with what my thoughts are thinking because Stefan starts speaking again, apparently finding some deep-rooted joy in being able to share his story with me. For what reason I have no fucking clue, I'm more interested in finding out what the hell happened.

"Five days ago, her parents car drove off of the Wickery Bridge, I was nearby when it happened and I dove into the water, her mom and dad were inside, and her dad demanded that I save his daughter, so I did. Turns out, daughter was _Elena"_ Stefan says with a sly smile.

I despise the way he says her name. And yes, that's the first thing I'm focusing on okay? Deal with it. He says it as if it's common, vulgar, something that he's trying very hard to caress and failing to miserably and it makes me want to punch his teeth out. Or rip his tongue out so he can never, ever say it like that again. He says it as if he's somehow using it against me, taunting me with some hidden knowledge and I despise it.

Now that that's out of the way; five days ago? That's the very night I met her! It was, hold up, wait a second...yeah, it was five days ago. So the very night she met me, her parents also died? That's, I don't know what that is but its all kindsa fucked up is what it is. I should go to her, maybe, I should try and help her, console her, talk to her, I don't know but every part of my body wants to find her and make sure she's okay.

Of course she's not fucking okay Damon. Girl just lost her mom and dad. Girl nearly died. No wonder she was crying her little heart out the last time I saw her. Christ, and _Stefan_, my brother, Saint Stefan, Stefan the fucking good son, was the one to save her. He'll always have that now, he'll always own that. And he will _use_ it to try and win her but I won't let him. He will never have her.

I process all of this in my head while trying to maintain my features in a neutral, detached mask. Thankfully, over the years, I've become well versed in that art of faking it til' you make it, and my brother doesn't seem to notice anything amiss, not that he pays enough attention to me most of the time to pick anything up anyway. I need more information.

"So what brother, you just happened to be in the vicinity? Happened to be in Mystic Falls? This is just a very good case of very fortunate timing?" you would think that the fact that I'm asking so many damn questions would be a bit of a give-away that I care more than I should for a 'switched off' vampire but Stefan either doesn't pick up on it or simply doesn't care.

Something is different about him, I haven't quite figured it out yet but he seems more detached, more aloof; normally when we meet it's all 'I'm sorry that I blamed you for turning me into a Ripper' and 'I'm sorry that I'm the guy who made you turn', basically it's normally a whole lotta half-baked apologies that never really ring quite true.

But this time? Something feels decidedly different. Oh he still has his emotions, you can see them there, lurking in his eyes, encroaching on his ever-crowded forehead, Stefan has never been the best actor in the world, but something is definitely not quite right. There's a distance there, a coldness that I've only ever seen in him when he turns all Ripper, but if he's got a handle on his emotions then he's happily chewing on bunny rabbits and deer while the human population of Mystic Falls gets to rest easy at night.

"I'm here to visit Uncle Zach, see the house Damon, nothing more than that. I usually leave the ulterior motives to you. So yes, it really is a case of fortunate timing, as I said, I happened to be nearby and I heard the crash happen.

You know, I really thought it was _Katherine_ at first, realised pretty quick-sharp that it wasn't so I compelled her to forget me and took off when the ambulance arrived. And here we are" Stefan explains with a shrug of his shoulders.

Here. We. Are.

Here we are indeed. And where the hell do we go from here? I don't believe a _word_ of what he says, like I said something is different and I'm damn well gonna find out what it is even if I have to read every single one of his stupid journals to find out.

He said he compelled her to forget so at least one of us brothers is capable of doing something fucking right since I clearly lost that battle the second she laid a finger on me. God that fire, just thinking about it sends a shiver of, heat, desire, longing through my entire body. I can _almost_ feel her again when I think about it.

He says Katherine's name differently, from the way he said Elena's. He says it softly, as if it matters, as if she is precious and something to revere, basically he says it the way he _should _have said Elena's name; but the way I absolutely do _not _want him to ever say her name.

And that's what makes me think that he's really here for Katherine. I don't know how he could have found out; don't know who in their right mind would have told him, since I was sure I was the only one who knew but the way he says her name makes me think that it's got everything to do with her.

It still doesn't explain the school thing though, he said he was in school with Elena or at least, that he was going to be, but if it's Katherine he's here for then why in the hell is he going back to school?

"So why are you going back to school again? What is this, the tenth time you'll graduate _high _school? I thought you were better than that Stefan, last I heard you went all ivy-league" I ask him the questions running through my mind because there's no way I'll get answers out of him any other damn way. And I _need_ answers.

It's one of my many weaknesses truth be told, I have this insane desire to _know_ everything. It's probably something to do with my inherent trust issues, I trust no one, hell I barely even trust myself half the damn time but it's left me with this incessant need to know as much as I can about as much as I can.

So if I feel like someone is hiding something from me then I'll usually stop at nothing to get to the bottom of whatever it is. I'll take it however far I need to to find out the truth of the matter, and when the truth of the matter somehow relates to _Elena_? Well there's nothing I won't do in this situation. I'm not even above begging, if it comes to that. Which, thankfully it won't because honestly me begging is a sight that _no one _wants to see. Take my word for it.

"Well I would have thought it obvious Damon" Stefan pushes himself off of the tree he's been resting against and walks towards me. There's more predator than man in his walk and again I have that disturbing feeling that something is _very_ wrong with my brother.

He comes to a stop inches from my face and looks me dead in the eyes before speaking again.

"I have to know her"

He has to what now? Oh no. Hey, hold on there brother. Dammit all to hell he's gone. Just drops that sweet bombshell and then disappears in a rush of fucking wind.

He has to fucking _know_ her? Are you fucking kidding me right now? How did all this shit happen? Oh I know I know, because of a damn _dream_. I feel like swearing in sixty languages right now everything inside of me is a tangled mess and I have no fucking clue what to do.

Living in the moment isn't really, workin' out all that well for me is it? I mean yes, I found out what happened to Elena. Yes I found out sort-of, I think, why my brother is here. That's _two_ things and only one of them I'm actually confident about. So really, it's one thing and a half, or something. And now I'm left wondering what the hell to do about it all.

I still don't know what to do about Katherine. I don't know what to do about Elena. I definitely don't know what to do about my _brother_. I don't know what the dreams meant. I don't know why I had them. Let's face it, I don't know very fucking much do I?

Which is just great, for a man that needs to know things. Fuckin' fabulous. Think if I go take a nap I'll go back to dreamland; we can restart from the beginning? Try and make sense of this damned circle of half truths and pretty lies and dreams of girls that burn you alive?

No? Well it was worth a shot. Little tip, always ask for the things you want most, because the worst thing anyone can do is say no. And if they do then you're no worse off than you were before, so suck it up and just do it.

What's the worst that could happen? Actually, it's probably best not to answer that question; sometimes the worst that can happen is a lot worse than someone just saying 'no'. But I don't take it back you should still ask, every time it's totally worth the risk. You might just get something fucking amazing out of it, depending on what it is you're really asking for.

Me? I'm asking for a little fucking _clarity_. But I'm not gonna get any standing in the damn woods all day. My brother knows I'm back in town now so I may as well go and make myself comfortable in my own damn bedroom in my own damn house 'cause it's not gonna change anything now.

He has to know her; the fuck does that even mean? Yeah I'm back to that; I need to figure out my brother's angle here. I have to keep her safe, I don't know _why_ exactly, I'm not usually one for protecting the humans, but it's _Elena_ she's the girl in my dreams and she's in them for a reason, I'm not clear on that reason, but there is definitely a reason and as such, she needs to be safe. She needs to be protected, she needs a whole lot more than that actually but right now it's the best I can offer.

So I need to try and work out my brother's angle, game, whatever the fuck it is he's doing because there are a couple of things I know for sure now, I know that what he wants with Elena has nothing to do with her personally and has _everything_ to do with Katherine.

And I know that he's not been having the dreams. Those are mine. They belong to me. I know because if he was having the dreams then he would have spoken of her differently. I've had those dreams for over 60 fucking years and there's not a chance that if he had been having them too then he would have talked about her the way he did. Callous, casual, as if she weren't the most important thing in the fucking world right now. Maybe always. I don't know.

But that's why I didn't talk of her much; that's why I tried not to say her name, because I knew if I did then he would understand, he would be able to figure out that my switch isn't off, that I have my humanity and I'm not ready for him to know that. I'm not ready for him to know that I fell in love with a fucking _dream_.

And there's the truth. That's what it comes down to, really. I'm in love with a _dream._ I don't know why, when, where or how, but it happened on one of those endless nights of dreaming, I fell in love with that girl in my dream, fell in love with the voice and the way it felt as it caressed my skin in the cool nights breeze, fell in love with every precious second of a dream that never lasted longer than five fucking minutes.

Why the hell do you think I lay down on every damn road in America for 12 years? Wasn't looking for divine fucking intervention was I? No. I wasn't. I was looking for the dream girl. For the girl I fell in love with. No, I'm sorry, for the _voice_ I fell in love with, because it was the voice I fell in love with first.

I feel awkwardly like that guy from the Little Mermaid only this is kinda, backwards. All I got for 60 years was a voice and all he got was a face. But I didn't need the face to fall; I fell harder than it should be possible to fall for a fucking _voice_ in a dream. But I did, and the night we met, five nights ago, when I finally came face to face with the girl in my dream, I fell even harder. I fell for her eyes. I fell _into_ her eyes. And I think I'm only gonna keep falling.

So my brother? My brother can get fucked if he thinks for one second, that I'll allow him to take her from me, because I don't know how I know, but I do, I feel it in every bone, in every molecule in my body, in every tiny part of me I know that she is _mine_. I am hers and she is mine.

And maybe that's all I really need to know right this second. And maybe I got the clarity I needed after all.


	4. Stranger Than Fiction

**A/N: I'm so thankful to those of you reading/reviewing/following etc! Please do drop me a note and let me know how you're finding the story so far, reviews feed me. I do not own anything except a voice in my head that sounds remarkably like Damon Salvatore. **

**Stranger Than Fiction**

_I'm not telling you it's going to be easy.  
>I'm telling you it's going to be worth it – Art Williams<em>

I haven't seen hide or hair of my brother since we parted company two days ago in the woods, god only knows where he's disappeared to but I've decided just to wait him out. He'll show his face eventually and I'm not about to start chasing him all over town.

Having said that, I have been keeping an eye on Elena to the best of my abilities which are far-reaching, let me assure you. I'm not s_talking_ the girl; I'm just trying to, protect her. Sounds better when you put it like that doesn't it?

Ever since I had my woodland epiphany, and what an apt place for an epiphany if I do say so myself, that I'm well and truly in love with Elena, I don't even know her fucking last name, although she's clearly descended from Katherine in _some_ way so there's definitely a little Petrova in there somewhere. I wonder when Katherine had a child it's not like she shared her deep-dark secrets with me or anything.

So not the point, the_ point_ is that since I discovered or, admitted to myself that I fell in love with dream-girl, I've been utterly _terrified_ that something is going to happen to her before I even get a chance to well, _know_ her to steal my brother's words. Which should at least go a little ways to explain why I'm quasi-stalking the girl, not that she comes out of her house much so that's something to put in the plus column I suppose.

She is only human after all and any number of tragic things can befall a human being, most of which I don't really wanna think about right now thank you very much. Having said all of that, school is back again on Monday and she'll be going which only leads me to assume that Stefan will also show his face sooner rather than later so my quasi-stalking has a double-edged attack to it.

Ensure Elena's safety; get information out of my brother.

Even with all of this in mind it's still somewhat of a shock when she comes out of her house on Saturday morning and walks her way to the graveyard. Even though she's deathly sad, her face is drawn and her eyes red as if she hasn't slept in a week which is probably true come to think of it. She's still the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on.

And it's _nothing_ to do with Katherine, it is all Elena. Everything about her is different, from the way she moves, walks, speaks, carries herself, that light and fire in her eyes, that voice of velvet, even down to the way she dresses, everything is different, they may as well be polar opposites.

I follow behind her at a distance, making sure she can't see me but even still she turns a couple of times as if she can sense someone following her, and now even I feel creepy. So I follow her in the crow, did I fail to mention one of my little party tricks? I can compel animals.

Well that's not strictly true, I can compel _crows_, if I'm strong enough and right now I am strong enough and that's all you really need to know about that. Oh, I can also control fog, that's a pretty nifty little trick as well. Just a couple little things I picked up over the years of debauchery.

The crow perches on top of the gravestone she sits in front of. _Gilbert_, her name is Elena Gilbert. When the crow squawks she looks up at it curiously and says hi which is kinda cute really talking to birds and all, but she doesn't seem bothered by its presence which I'm grateful for.

She sits there queitly for a while, a few silent tears making tracks down her cheeks that I want more than anything else to reach out and wipe away but obviously I can't and a few breathy little sighs as if she's frustrated about something that she can't quite work out.

Eventually she starts to speak and my mind is filled again with that wonderfully silky voice, I remember her hand on my chest as she whispered to me not to compel her, not to make her forget, and I feel it again just for a second, that fire burning through my very veins, scorching my insides until I feel almost alive again.

"I'm so sorry I went to that party. I know I said that already, but I just, need you to know how sorry I am. It's my fault, it's all my fault that you're dead and I don't even _know_ how I'm alive. No one can understand, they say it's a 'miracle'. But it doesn't feel like a miracle, it feels like a curse"

I feel so desperately sad for her; I understand what it's like to survive, to live, when you shouldn't be alive, technically speaking. I understand what it's like to lose something so very, very valuable, to feel the guilt of being the one who came out the other side. It would seem that Elena and I are very much alike. If you forgo the obvious differences, that is.

As much as I feel sorry for her though I'm also desperately grateful for my brother who 'happened' to be in the right place at the right time. If he hadn't been there, for whatever reason he was, then she wouldn't be sitting here now, and all I would have to remember her by is that one night, those few priceless minutes that we got to spend together.

"You know, I met a boy that night, a man really I suppose, I'd had a fight with Matt. I broke up with him mom, you were right; of course I had to let him go. I was scared of losing him but I think that maybe we'll be okay, some day.

The man I met, he's the one I've dreamed of since I was a little girl"

Huh? Is she talking about _me_? Shh! Wait there's more.

"Remember mom? I told you about those crazy dreams I had. The ones where all I could hear was his voice? The words he said to me? _"I'm Damon"_ he said and that's all I ever got for so long. Until just a few months ago, right before they stopped for good, "_but right now I want you to forget that this happened" _that's what he said in the dream"

That's what I was _going_ to say in real life. Those were literally going to be the next words out of my mouth, followed by; _I can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. _Only I never got that far.

"And I knew, I don't know _how_, but I figured it out; that he was going to somehow make me forget about him, forget that I met him. How can a person do that mom? How can you make someone forget you? I just knew that I couldn't let him do it, every particle of my body told me that letting him make me forget was the _wrong_ thing to do. So I asked him not to, I reached out and I touched him and I asked him to please, not make me forget and while he stood there, looking confused as all heck, I ran away"

She stops talking abruptly and a few more tears slide down her face and I have _never_ been more confused. I thought I asked for fucking _clarity_?

S_he's _been having the dreams as well? Since she was _little_? What the hell is this shit?

"I miss him mom, I know it sounds so stupid. To miss someone that you don't know, that you didn't even know really _existed_ until a week ago, but it's the truth, I miss him and it _hurts_. I don't know where to find him, and I'm scared, I'm so scared that he's not going to come back and I never will."

Fuck my life. She's crying again and it's because of _me_ this time. Because she _misses_ me. Fucking, I miss her too! God this is crazy, I sound like a crazy person, _we_ sound like crazy people. I have _got _to get to the bottom of this.

But I'm not ready to see her. I'm not ready to let her see me I just, I just can't. I'm too confused about what all of this means. I can't talk to her, can't see her properly until I understand what's going on, and maybe explain it to her too.

I bring the fog round, wrap it around the gravestone and push it towards her which is probably only gonna serve to creep her right the hell out but I need to see her for myself, properly, just for a second, not through the eyes of the crow and the fog provides me with the cover I need to do that.

She gets up and turns away from the grave before making haste out of the cemetery, when she reaches the top of the hill she turns back and I move slightly behind the gravestone to be sure she doesn't see me. I'll follow in a minute to make sure she gets home safely.

I guess maybe it sounds like I'm being a dick, I know the girl just lost her mom and dad and all, she's sad, lonely, she misses _me_, and I _love_ her, but I can't face her yet. I don't know if I ever can. It's all well and good to be in love with someone, even if it did happen through a fucking dream that I can't make any damn sense of, but this is _me_ we're talking about.

Damon Salvatore. Immortal un-dead creature of the night, drinker of people's blood, and frequently a whole heapa' alcohol as well, I'm somewhat of an alcoholic, or would be if vampires could in fact, get drunk enough to be considered alcoholics. I'm not human, I'm not a _good_ person, I've done bad, bad things, and I've done them over the course of many, many lifetimes. I've never even _been_ in a real relationship; I don't know if I know _how_ to be in a relationship, let alone with a dream-girl.

And then there's Elena.

Elena Gilbert. All of 17 years old if she's a day, _human, _she may as well be a fucking _angel_ for every difference that exists in her to me. I know I said that we're alike, and we are in some ways, have a lot in common it would seem, the dreams being one of those commonalties for whatever unknown reason.

But she is pure, innocent, young, she has her whole life ahead of her and who am I? Who would I be, if I came in and destroyed all of that? Because that's what I do. I destroy things, doesn't matter if I fucking _love_ them, I still end up destroying them in the end. And that's why I can't see her right now. That's why I have to content myself with watching her, watching _over_ her, making sure she is protected, making sure she _lives_. Because I refuse to destroy Elena Gilbert.

Speaking of protecting, and not destroying, I also refuse to let my _brother_ come and fuck her shit up either.

He's apparently tracked her, me, us to the cemetery as well and they are currently making polite conversation at the top of the hill, although Elena seems rather determined to get away from him, apparently the girls got some good instincts in her.

Stefan tells her that he's here 'visiting' family, damn boy killed most of the people in this cemetery, including most of our family, a few of them are on me to be fair. Then he lets her know that they'll be in school together next week, really going to need to, sort that out.

Elena says it's nice to meet him and that she really needs to get going and then my brother starts acting weird. Well weird for Stefan anyway or, weirder, whichever you like really.

"Are you bleeding?" he asks her. Bleeding? She's not is she? What happened?

She rolls up her jeans and studies her leg where she clearly finds a cut and now that I'm concentrating I can smell the fresh blood, that was probably my fault, what with using the fog to make her leave and all, bad Damon. She tells Stefan that it's fine but Stefan, yeah, he don't look too fine.

Stefan takes a slight step forward and I'm almost about to take off after him when he turns and runs off in the opposite direction leaving Elena standing there wondering where the hell her new buddy just disappeared to.

She looks around a couple of times before shrugging it off and heading back home, I follow her the whole way and don't leave until I know she's safely deposited inside the front door where vampires aren't invited in. Now it's time to go home and deal with my brother.


	5. I Find Myself Alone & Unworthy

**A/N: I feel like I'm repeating myself but honestly thank you all so much for your kind words and reaction to this story so far, it's a mad, long and wild journey so I hope you all continue to enjoy it. Special big thanks to the guests I can't review to personally. I do not own The Vampire Diaries. **

**I Find Myself Alone & Unworthy**

_Damon has lost his way...he is nothing but blackness and bile – Stefan Salvatore_

I head straight home from the cemetery to wait for Stefan. He knew I was there so I imagine he'll be going back home pretty quickly to 'taunt' me about his friendly first meeting with Elena. Or second meeting if you include the whole compelled saving her life bit.

I knew there was something going on with Stefan, something different but I thought that he had the blood-lust under control. I was sure he was back on the animal-diet, the boy does _not_ handle the people blood well and I just _know_ that Lexi hasn't been teaching him how to be a normal vampire. She's got all these whacked theories about him being in better control of his nature if he only drinks the fluffy little bunny rabbits when in fact it's the worst possible solution.

Stefan needs to learn to moderate, it's the only way he'll ever be able to control himself with ripping people's heads off; but I only care insofar as it affects Elena. Unfortunately it _does_ affect Elena because he's planning on going to school with her and a few hundred of her classmates who I'm fairly certain she won't be too keen on the idea of dying. So, if he's back on the people blood then he _can't_ go back to school because at some point he'll lose it and I don't want him anywhere _near_ Elena's pretty little head when that happens.

"Damon" he greets me as he comes into his bedroom and finds me waiting for him "what do you want?" he asks and comes to a stop in front of the desk.

"Just a friendly little chat brother, nothing terribly exciting" I respond and pick up a pen off of his desk to twirl absently in my fingers. I have to play this carefully because if I give away the fact that I _care_ about Elena it will only make things more complicated than they need to be right now.

"Saw you at the cemetery with Katherine 2.0 this afternoon" I point out the obvious as dryly as possible but even I heard the crack in my voice when I said that so there's no way he missed it. With any luck he'll chalk it up to my 'deep-rooted' pain of losing Katherine and not the fact that calling Elena 'Katherine 2.0' makes me want to throw up everything that I have inside of me.

"She is _not_ Katherine" my brother glowers at me. Very well observed Stefan, I wonder how long it took him to work that one out? I nod my head patiently at him as if he's a child.

"Tell me Stefan, how do you plan on coping with a school full of pumping hearts, bleeding noses, cuts and grazes, all that _fun_ stuff if you can't even handle a small cut on a girl's leg? I thought you were back on the Bambi blood?" and yes, I am intentionally avoiding saying Elena's name at all costs. My brother might not be the smartest cookie in the jar but even he'd be able to figure out something was up if I have to say her name, as it is he's already looking at me strangely.

"I am on the animal diet Damon, have been for years. It was just a little, unexpected that's all. Why do you care anyway? Shouldn't you be off out somewhere doing bad things to good people? Or don't you have anything better to do with your time than bother me?" he asks with a glare.

I take a minute to sit and observe him because I'm gonna have to say Elena's name now and I need to make this next bit come out successfully or it'll all be for nothing in the end. Honestly it'll probably be for nothing in the end anyway but hey, you can't blame a guy for enjoying a little game with his brother right?

I stand up and walk around to the other side of the desk and stand directly in front of him "I don't _care_ Stefan. I just think you should keep your distance from Elena; we wouldn't want you getting your girls all confused. She really is a _dead_-ringer for Katherine"

The fact that Stefan retaliates to this statement by punching me in the face makes me think that I did a pretty stand-up job of coming off like the dick I want him to think I am.

"I think it's you who needs to keep their distance from Elena brother. After all you are the monster without humanity here. What could you possibly bring to her life but blackness and unhappiness?"

Stefan gets his own punch in the face courtesy of my knuckles. I've been just _itching_ to do that since I got back to this town.

"You don't tell me who I do or do not see, speak to, _whatever_. I do what I want, I take what I want. Always have, always will Stefan" I throw him a glare over my shoulder and leave him to his room and his journals.

I'm slightly less concerned about Stefan going to school now. I believe him when he says that he's back on the puppy-blood and even though something is definitely going on with him I'd like to think that all of this posturing over Elena, this 'needing to know her' bullshit will at least make him protect her should any significantly serious arise. I mean, he did save her life once already so I suppose it's only natural to assume he'll do it again if needs be.

I punched him because he always knows just how to hit where it hurts the deepest, it's always been his greatest tool; he uses his words ever so well and he knows me very well, when he pays me enough attention.

Those words, _what could you possibly bring to her life but blackness and unhappiness, _he's essentially throwing my own words back at me; not that he knows that of course. But it's pretty much what I was saying earlier. I'm not _good_ for Elena, I don't deserve someone like her and in the end I'll only ruin her but it still hurts to hear it voiced by someone else, to hear my own bitterness confirmed, especially by my brother.

The next couple of weeks pass by slowly, deathly slowly even for someone like me who has had nothing but endless _time_ on his hands for 150 years. I don't see much of Elena but I use the crow to keep an eye on her at various points during the day and then I get plenty of information from Stefan who seems to just delight in regaling me with tales of his and Elena's _blossoming_ friendship.

Tonight is the Founder's Day Kick-Off Gala, dinner, party, ball, who the heck knows actually but I'm expected. Stefan and I are expected because we're founding family members. Take it back long enough and we're actually Founders but they don't know that and it definitely needs to stay that way.

I happened to hear, through the grapevine that Stefan asked Elena to accompany him to the dance tonight but she turned him down. Politely, of course, thanks but no thanks sort of thing. I can't _begin_ to tell you how happy that made me. It was just pure unadulterated _luck_ that I happened to be checking in on her at the time. She's going to be at this thing tonight; she's also a founding family member and she's going with her friend Caroline as 'friend' dates she told my brother, though she looked mighty sad when she told him.

There's a crystal that I need to get tonight. It's connected to the comet, something to do with Emily's spell; I don't pay much attention to detail so all I really know is that I need the crystal. It belonged to Katherine and when I left Mystic Falls I left it in a safe place so I would always know where to find it when the time was right, and the time is right now.

I'm almost ready to leave when Stefan comes to find me in my bedroom with two glasses of my alcohol in hand. He passes one to me and I take it from him in confusion, what's he up to now?

"Call a truce for the night brother?" he asks tipping his glass towards me before giving me a smile and taking a drink. I'd like to believe it but that smile was a whole lotta _fake_ and I can smell the vervain he's laced my drink with when I bring it to my nose and inhale. What the fuck is he trying to do?

"Where did you get the vervain Stefan?" I demand and put the glass down on my bedside table. I fucking destroyed all of that shit before I left town. I don't much care if it's back now, I only care if he's going to try and fucking _drug_ me with it, if you're gonna kill me brother then do it like a man don't weaken me first. Only he can't and he knows he can't. The only way he _could_ kill me is if he weakens me first otherwise he doesn't have a hope in hell.

Stefan doesn't respond to my question and I rush towards him and pin him against the wall by the neck "where did you get the _vervain_ Stefan?" I growl at him but still get nothing in response. So I do the next logical thing. I throw him on the ground and grab a pointy piece of wood from my fire-bucked and jam it straight into his side.

"Answer the fucking question and I won't kill you brother" I grit out at him, although if he insists on bleeding all over my floor then he can damn well clean it up.

'Uncle' Zach comes rushing into the room to, who the hell knows actually, what does he think _he_ can achieve against two vampires?

"Stop it was me. I gave him the vervain, I've been growing it for years" he shouts at me and I turn to look at him incredulously, it makes sense but what kind of an idiot is he? I pull the makeshift stake out of Stefan's side and back away from him.

"Go change your shirt Stefan, we have a party to get to" and then I fly over and snap Zach's neck. Never much liked him to be honest, hated his grandfather too. I'm pissed as all hell at Stefan. I mean, was he _seriously_ trying to kill me? I haven't even _done_ anything! And it was Zach's fault so he had to die, simple as that really.

Honestly it sounds to me like he wanted to die. Sure as shit didn't need to come running in here to defend a fucking vampire. He probably just wanted to get it over with and done with. One of us woulda killed him eventually and odds are higher than evens that it woulda been me so I just, cut to the end of the story.

I really didn't wanna go to this party pissed off though, that was never my intention but best laid plans and all that so I'll just make do. Hopefully if I can catch a glimpse of Elena it'll all be worthwhile.


	6. Of Fire & Ice

**A/N: This was one of my favourite chapters to write for a long time because it's the first time that Damon & Elena actually get to properly interact with each other yay! I own nothing and hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading, please review! **

**Of Fire & Ice**

_Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice  
>From what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who favour fire<br>But if it had to perish twice I think I know enough of hate  
>To say that for destruction ice, is also great<br>And would suffice – Robert Frost_

Stefan and I arrive at the Lockwood mansion where the party is being held together but not before I advise him that attempting to _murder_ me again will only end badly for him.

I head straight for the bar and order myself a bourbon when I feel _eyes_ on my back; the hair on my neck stands up because I _know_, I've been here for two damn seconds and I already know who it is. I throw my drink down my throat quickly and turn to see her.

As my eyes drink in her face like a thirsty man in a hot, hot desert I exhale a breath I didn't even realise I was holding in until I saw her again. She looks incredible; honestly words don't do her justice. I wish I could take a picture for you or something just so you could understand how truly stunning this girl is.

She stands shyly in front of me, every bit as beautiful close-up as I remember her to be. Granted her eyes are lacking a little bit of that fire that they had on that first night but the spark is still there and I can tell she's a fighter. Probably be one hell of a lover too. No Damon. Bad thoughts, stay _away_ from those thoughts, those thoughts can only lead to trouble.

The smile that graces her face when she looks up into my eyes is enough to bring a smile to my own and if I'm not careful then Stefan will walk through any minute now and the whole charade will be for nothing. I probably look like a damn idiot just standing here saying nothing and staring at her like she's a goddamn angel.

Oddly enough, I'm pretty sure I did the same thing the night we first met.

"Elena" I finally breathe out. Totally didn't mean for it to come out like that. I meant to say it with, I dunno strength. I definitely _didn't_ mean to say it like her name is the last fucking prayer of a dying man. But the smile I get this time is worth it, so totally worth it.

"Damon" she whispers my name softly in the same tone that she did when she said "don't", there's just the gentlest hint of a plea, a desperation, a longing that makes some long forgotten parts of me click into place. And once again I'm surrounded by that sudden feeling of familiarity, the same I felt that night underneath the stars, that feeling that feels like I've come home.

"I didn't think..." she trails off and I watch as she mentally gives herself a lecture and shakes off her nerves "I didn't think I would see you again" she says it sadly but there's more than enough pleasure in her voice to actually cover it, if you weren't listening hard enough, which I am.

I don't think I've ever listened so hard to anything in my entire life. I've blocked out everything that surrounds us so all I can see and hear is Elena. I want to catch every word, break it down, decipher it and understand it, catch the hints of pleasure, pleas, longing, need, want, desire and own them.

I hear the shaky breaths she takes as she tries to calm herself down, the skip in her heart beat as her eyes move from my face to rake my Armani clad body and I think my own heart skips a beat or ten when I finally look at more than just her face.

She's dressed in black and she looks like a _queen_, thin satin straps lie against bare shoulders, the dress cut _just_ low enough to show the tantalising beginnings of a perfect cleavage. Black lace patterns cover the top half, pulled tight across her breasts and then in again at the waist before flaring out into a skirt that hits just above the knee showing inches of perfect long legs.

Her hair is straight and lies perfectly wrapped around one side of her neck and she's got black and red lace high heeled shoes that must be killing her to walk in, she looks like perfection and I desperately want to know what's underneath.

I finally inhale and realise that I haven't answered her question, I've just been standing here and gawking at her like an infantile teenage boy and saying nothing for the last god knows how long. What was it she said again? Oh right, she didn't know if she would see m again.

"Well I'm not that easy to get rid of Elena" I finally respond and flash her a smile. Not that my brother hasn't tried of course, fortunately I'm not as stupid as he likes to think I am.

"I thought that you might be here" she says a little shyly and then starts plucking at invisible pieces of fluff on her dress.

"And I am, Elena would you like to dance?" fuck me. Why did I do that? I didn't even _mean_ to ask her that. I was going to ask her if she wanted a drink. Or how she knew I was going to make her forget. Or how school is going or _anything_ that wasn't would you like to fucking _dance_! What is _wrong_ with me?

Only I can't take it back now because she's nodding her head and smiling the biggest damn smile I've ever seen in my life and it's glorious and I absolutely _cannot_ take it back. Instead I hold out my hand for her and lead her outside on to the dance floor.

Of course as soon as we get there the music changes to some teenage indie-rock love song so I can't even get away with just having a little boogie and then turning tail. Nope, instead I pull her into my arms and wrap one hand around her waist, take the other in my hand and start leading her around the floor gently.

The second I do, nothing ever felt so damn _right_ in my life. It feels like she was born to be in my arms and I forget all of the reasons why this was a bad idea and instead concentrate on all of the reasons that it's the best thing that's come out of my mouth since, well who knows, a long time anyway.

She feels heavenly pressed against me, her curves fitting naturally as if she's always been a part of me and that fire that I felt when she touched my chest that night? It's there again only this time it's in every single part of me, it's burning me everywhere and I never want it to stop. She leans her head on my shoulder and I inhale the scent of her shampoo, trying to memorise every second of this dance, of this moment. It smells like strawberries, for the record.

For a few priceless seconds I close my eyes and allow myself to just enjoy the moment. To revel in this tiny little piece of Elena and me, to pretend that we are the only two people in the world and that there are no reasons that this is a bad idea.

And then I make the mistake of opening my eyes. Shoulda just kept them closed, shoulda known better really.

My brother is standing on the opposite side of the dance-floor looking for all the world like he's about to murder the ever loving fuck out of someone. Yeah. So. He's not a happy bunny. I should probably suggest he goes and eats some actually, just to make sure he doesn't go all Ripper douche on the locals.

Elena realises that I've stopped and am standing completely still and she looks up to search my face for reasons as to why the hell I've ended our magical moment but she won't find any because I've closed it all down. She takes a step back from me and stumbles slightly but I reach out to catch her before she can get too far and she gives me a small smile when I set her upright.

"Are you okay Damon?" she asks me quietly. I think she's afraid that she's done something wrong but that couldn't be further from the truth, she's done everything so very right. It's me that's done things wrong.

"I'm fine Elena" I look down at her with a smile "just my brother appears to be a little _jealous"_ I strain my words and raise my voice just enough that I make it clear I intend for him to hear and Elena turns her head to see who I'm looking at.

"Stefan? Stefan is your brother?" she asks me in a slightly shocked tone.

"What he didn't tell you?" I ask her in surprise, that's kinda weird I guess. You'd think something like that woulda come up at some point over the last few weeks.

"No he said he didn't have any family" Elena replies quietly, well I see baby brother's been telling lies, shocking. It's kind of his thing; I wonder what other untruths he's been feeding her. I shoot him a glare before turning back to Elena with a smile.

"Well Stefan's not one to brag. Come on let's go inside before you get cold out here" I tell her with a grin and take her hand again because honestly why the hell not? I'm fairly sure even a blind man could see now that I've fallen for the girl so there's not much point in trying to hide it from my brother anymore. I'll just have to deal with whatever fallout comes my way.

When we get back inside I offer Elena a drink but she reminds me that she's still only 17 and that there are founding family members present which means she can't really indulge and then her friend Caroline bounces over. Yes bounces, that's really the only word to define it, she _bounces_. Even her voice is _bouncy_.

She looks kinda like a Barbie actually. Not really my type but she seems friendly enough even if she is a little eager to drag Elena away from me, Elena looks at me with an apologetic smile but I just nod at her and tell her to go have fun with her friend. I've got things I need to do anyway.

Elena turns back to look at me again as she leaves, an action that doesn't go un-noticed by my brother standing brooding in the corner over there and I raise my glass towards her before turning and taking off in the other direction, gonna need to get my hands on that crystal now.

But before I do I take a second to tune in to Elena's conversation with her little blonde girl-friend. I'm ever so sure it'll be about me and I wanna know what she has to say.

"...magical Care I've never felt anything so _right_ in my life. I feel like I _belong_ to him does that sound crazy? Why am I even asking that? Of course it sounds crazy; I've officially lost it Caroline"

Welcome to the club sweetheart, welcome to the fucking club.

"Are you sure he's the man from the dreams? Like, one hundred and fifty percent, absolutely sure?" her friend asks.

"Yes I'm sure Care. I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life. I'm absolutely positive and I _know_ they mean something; they must. Why else would I have had them all my life? Why else would they just suddenly stop _right_ before Damon turns up in town?"

Now that _is _intriguing, my dreams stopped when I decided to come back to Mystic Falls and it seems that hers stopped right around the same time, but _why?_ That's the problem, there seems to be a never-ending why attached to this issue. Why the dreams, where did they come from, how did they even _exist _in a time long before she did.

With all the thinking I've been forgetting to listen so I tune back into their conversation in case I missed anything important.

"...definitely think you should do that Elena. You could find what you're looking for and even if you don't it's worth a shot right?" what is she _talking _about? See this is what you get for eavesdropping, I missed half of that because I was too busy thinking about the dreams and now I don't know what it is that Elena should 'definitely do' and I'm not all that convinced I want to know truth be told.

I didn't exactly change my mind about staying away from her I've just ah, accepted that it _might_ be a little more complicated than I originally planned.

I head on up the stairs and retrieve Katherine's crystal from where I stored it many moons ago. I'm going to go ahead and release her; it's the right thing to do.

I'm not doing it because I'm in love with her or because I want to be with her but I just can't stand the thought of her being locked in there forever. I have the chance to rescue her and it would feel so very wrong to not do that.

I know what it's like to be trapped somewhere with no hope of escape. I know what it's like to feel the burning pain inside of you from not having enough blood. To feel like you're dying over and over and over again, slowly, painfully, day-in, day-out.

I know what it's like to hold on to the hope that one day someone will come for you, someone will find you, save you. I know what that hope feels like because I honestly believed that my brother would find me. I believed he would come for me and he never did. He didn't even know I was missing.

So yeah I'm gonna let her out so she doesn't have to suffer anymore. I know a witch down in Georgia that can cast the spell and now I've got the crystal so I've got most everything I need. I know that Katherine is not an inherently good person but I'm pretty sure that if I let her out then she'll leave Mystic Falls alone, if for nothing else than for me because I got her out. With any luck she'll take Stefan along with her.

"Is that Damon and Stefan Salvatore?" I hear Elena ask as I come down the stairs. Ah shit, that would be the original guest registry she's looking at, shoulda known that would come up really.

"The original Salvatore brothers" my original brother lies to Elena again. Well, sort of lies. We are the original Salvatore brothers, we're also the _only_ Salvatore brothers but I suppose it's neither the time nor the place to tell Elena such tales and if she's going to hear it from anyone then she'll hear it from me.

I don't stick around to hear whatever else comes out of my brother's mouth, I've had enough to deal with tonight so I just wanna go home and get a little drunk and dream of dances with Elena.


	7. Spinning In Endless Circles

**A/N: I do not own The Vampire Diaries, very much wish I did though. Hope you all enjoy today's chapter. **

**Spinning In Endless Circles**

_I am not a believer. People are born. They grow old, they die. – Elena Gilbert_

The next morning finds me not at all well rested and lying in my bed with a million different thoughts running through my head. Do you ever get that? When words, images, ideas, fragments blur through your mind like they're running on hyper-speed, dizzying, flashing. A hundred thousand different directions you could go in if you could only _stop_ for one second and pluck one of them out.

It's like looking for a life-line, looking for something to hold on to, something to try and make sense of the endless cycle of _confusing _you've gotten yourself wrapped up in, spinning around in circles because there's no way _out _of a circle. There's no end, there's no beginning, there's no spaces in between where you can just take a moment, take a breath, collect yourself and try to figure everything the fuck out.

I see a dark starry night. I feel the cool breeze on my cheek. I hear a girl's velvet voice. I see Elena. I see myself. I see Elena, again. Elena in black lace. Elena in my arms. I feel the fire, I feel the burn. I see my brother. His face as he watched me dance with Elena the girl he 'has to know'. I see Katherine the night of the first Founder's Ball dancing with my brother. I see Katherine running through fields, giggling madly with curls dancing around her face. I see two sets of eyes both so alike but so very, very different. One harsh, cold and amused. One bright, alive and shining. Every time I see those eyes I fall a little harder.

Words. An endless cycle of words flash like fragments of a jigsaw puzzle that if I could only put together I'm sure I could make sense of something. Power. Cell. _Why_. Dreaming. Endless nights of dreaming. Roads. _Why_. Magic. Elena. Damon. Please don't. _Why_. Right now I want you to forget. Blackness. Unhappiness. Damaged. _Why_. Monster. Will only destroy her. _Why_. Spell. Elena. Dreaming. _Why_.

That's the resounding word. The one that comes up time and time, time after time, again, again, again, _why_? But god only knows I'm not gonna get any answers lying in my bed all day. Don't know if I'm gonna get any answers anyway but I may as well get up and get on with it. I think that's the only thing that I can do. The simple fact of the matter is I don't _know_, I'm spinning in endless circles and the answers are not going to magically appear in front of me like some god-given gift sent from heaven just for me so I may as well just get on with it.

I snap open my eyes and find my brother sitting beside my bed waiting for me. Well, that was unexpected. Normally I'd have been able to sense him but I guess I was too busy focusing on all the words and the images, the nothing inside of my head that's also everything to concentrate properly.

"Nice wakeup call brother" I say turning my head to the side with a hint of a smirk, I wonder what he wants. Nothing good I'm sure.

"What are you doing with Elena?"he asks as if he's just making general conversation, as if it's not important, as if he isn't waiting in my bedroom at 8am on a Saturday morning for me to wake up and ask me this very question, he's probably been sitting there all night if I know Stefan. And as to the question, well who the hell knows what I'm doing with Elena? I sure don't. Especially not after last night.

"Me? I'm not doing anything with Elena, _yet_" I tell him and jump out of bed to grab my clothes. This doesn't really feel like a conversation I want to have with my brother while I'm half-naked in my bed. You'd think he could have just waited downstairs really but he's an impatient one, Stefan.

He chooses to ignore my implied words and focus on the rest of what I said instead.

"Didn't look like nothing last night" he points out dryly and he's right. I knew. I just knew that I was going to have to deal with this. I said it last night didn't I? That there was no way he'd not know now that I've fallen for her, it was my own damn fault really. If I'd just offered her a drink, hell if I'd just walked away when she started speaking to me then I could have avoided all of this but I couldn't do that, not to Elena.

And really what does it matter? There's not a lot for me to hide anymore. I was mainly playing this little game because I'm just convinced that there is something wrong with Stefan, I know there's something more going on here than I can read on the surface. I figured I could use the time to work out what it is that's going on with him but I don't really care one way or another so I'll just give him an edited version of the truth.

"It was a dance Stefan what's the problem?" I ask him as I pull my shirt on and close up the buttons, maybe I can get information out of him only he doesn't reply. He's just looking at a space somewhere behind me. I turn to find out what he's looking at and he asks me his question at the very same time I lay eyes on it. God dammit.

"Why do you have Katherine's crystal?" he asks quietly.

Fuck. Why did I not put the damn thing away when I came home last night? No, I had to go and leave it on the top of the fucking dresser for any old Stefan to happen along and see it. Not that I knew I was going to be accosted in my bedroom of course but still, I should have known better.

"How do you know it was Katherine's crystal?" I ask him instead of answering the question. When in doubt answer a question with a question, gives a person time to _think_. Should I just tell him the truth? Maybe if he knows Katherine is going to come back then he'll leave Elena alone, it might be better for her in the long run.

When I turn back to look at Stefan he looks at me with a sly grin and a nasty twinkle in his eye that reminds me of when we were children and he had something I wanted. Or took something from me. Or knew something I didn't know that he _knows_ will hurt me. I hate that fucking look.

"Because I was the last one to see her. We were _together_ on her last night" he replies simply and that explains the look. I school my features into my best 'I'm hurt and wounded' face because this could actually work in my favour although the truth is I could care less.

"Huh. Well then" I say quietly before falling silent again for a couple of minutes.

It's really not a surprise. Like I said before Katherine was never one for my 'emotions' but I think she really truly loved Stefan. I was just there for her amusement, a fun toy for her to play with, a pawn to use in her game of ruining two brothers. Yeah, she's kind of a bitch. Don't get me wrong I _loved_ Katherine.

I would have done almost anything for that girl, hell I _died_ for that girl. You know actually I think maybe I was just insanely infatuated with her. She was my ticket outta dullsville, she was so full of _life_ despite being an undead creature of the night and I knew everything, every step of the way. She rarely compelled me and I thought I loved her but maybe I was just looking for a way to escape my life. Either way it's all long lost and gone history now so I just have to figure out what I want my brother to know and what I want to keep to myself.

"I'm going to get Katherine out of the tomb she locked her pretty little face in" I tell my brother. That much I do want him to know, he doesn't look altogether surprised by this information but he questions it regardless and I fill him in on the spell Emily cast to save Katherine.

"So that's what you're doing with Elena" he says when I'm finished explaining. What the hell does he mean? How did this become about Elena? He stands up from the chair and walks over to stand in front of me again.

"You're using her, playing with her and amusing yourself while you wait for the right time to let Katherine out. That's what you _do_ Damon of course. Well I'm not going to let you, you stay away from Elena or I swear I will-"

"You'll _what_ Stefan? Try and _vervain_ me to death again? You and I both know there's never a fair fight between us and I'm not _using _Elena I lov-"oh fuckery. God damn me and my big mouth and my stupid, _stupid_ impulsive nature. I definitely did _not_ want him to know that part. How do I get out of this one?

Stefan stands stock-still in front of me trying and failing miserably to carefully disguise the shock written all over his face.

"You _love_ her Damon? Is that what you were going to say? You've known the girl for 2 fucking minutes what is wrong with you?" he snaps at me but actually I've kinda known her for 60 fucking years, her voice at least. But that part he _definitely _cannot know about so I don't say anything and eventually he just waves his arms at his sides as if he's trying to bat away my words.

"You are not _capable_ of love. Stay away from Elena she does not belong to _you_" he growls at me and turns on his heel, marching out of my bedroom "sure as fuck doesn't belong to you brother" I call out after him and I'd say that went astonishingly _badly_, wouldn't you agree?

Sometimes I don't know why I bother waking up in the morning. It might be an idea to install ten locks on my bedroom door though lest my brother come and _stake_ me in my sleep. I spend the day avoiding Stefan at all costs and burying the body of 'Uncle' Zach.

When I get home the next morning Stefan is once again nowhere to be seen. Honestly I have no idea where that boy spends his time but as long as he's not buzzing around bothering me then I probably don't care that much. Over the decades, the last century and a half I have loved and hated my brother with equal measure.

When we turned I promised him the whole 'eternity of misery' thing but that's only because I had decided I didn't want to turn. I thought Katherine was gone forever and I didn't know at the time that the spell Emily had cast worked, Katherine had been my reason to turn and without her the undead life just seemed a little less appealing. You have to hand it to the girl; she really knew how to make life _fun_.

Stefan however, had other ideas and after he killed our father who art in _hell_, he brought me a little gift. Bit into her neck, I drank her blood and it's all very, very old history that I no longer care about but that's what started it you see, this endless love/hate twisted circle we've gotten ourselves all wrapped up in.

But the facts remain that somewhere deep inside I do love my brother, probably as much as I despise him and I want to figure out what's wrong with him. I've never seen him act like this before, so distant and withdrawn but still very much, well, Stefan at the same time.

It's as if he's missing an intrinsic piece of his personality, his humanity. I don't mean he's switched it off because he hasn't, I know he hasn't but it's as if he's switched _part_ of it off, I just don't know which part and I don't know why. Oh look! More things I don't know.

The problem of course is that it's not really possible to switch off just one part, to shut out certain parts, you either feel or you don't it's as simple as that really. So what the holy hell is wrong with my brother?

He seemed in _no_ way surprised that I was going to release Katherine. Didn't even seem surprised to hear about the spell which can only lead me to believe that Emily Bennet must have told him too, don't know why she would have done that but there we go. He didn't seem entirely _happy_ that Katherine will be released which is rather unfortunate really as I was kind of hoping the two of them would just fuck off together but you never know, it could still happen.

He seemed most surprised despite all attempts at hiding it, at the big revelation that I'm in love with Elena. He knows not that I have my humanity, that all of my emotions are in full and working order so why then does he want me to stay away from her so badly?

Even if he does believe that I'm not _capable_ of love; the very fact that I believe I'm in love with her should let him know that I'll never do anything to hurt her so what the hell's the big dealio?

Do you remember when I said before, that the dreams, I felt they had a bigger purpose? That there was something bigger than me, bigger than Enzo, bigger than life itself behind them? Well yeah, I'm beginning to get that feeling back again and I'm beginning to feel like somehow, in some way, Stefan is involved in all of this and I don't like that feeling one little bit.

Unfortunately Stefan is nowhere to be found and I wouldn't and don't want to talk to him about the dreams anyway. But he's not here and I can't torture information out of him, I mean, I can't sit and relentlessly question him until he gives up whatever it is he's hiding. Yeah, that's totally what I meant. It's much too late on a Sunday night to talk to Elena about the dreams, she's got school in the morning and she doesn't even know that I know about the dreams yet anyway so it'll just have to wait. Tomorrow's problem.

Welcome to tomorrow.

It's Monday and it's nearly 11am and I'm wandering my house and various bookcases looking for something to magically pop out at me screaming 'look at _me_; I hold the answers to _all_ of your questions'. Unfortunately nothing happens.

I read Stefan's most recent journal this morning, it was the only one I could find but there's really nothing all that interesting in it and there's definitely nothing in it that I didn't already know.

It was all 'Damon is going to release Katherine from the tomb; he is _using_ Elena although he claims to be in love with her. I will protect her from my brother' you know, all that shit. Although there was a remarkably funny passage about him feeling jealous while watching me dance with Elena which was quite good fun to read, it's always nice when she shoe's on the other foot for a change.

Stefan was always, has always been the 'golden boy'. Mr. I Can Do No Wrong Stefan Salvatore. Never got into trouble and when he did I always took the blame anyway. My father despised me, he just _loooved_ Stefan though and I figured Stef was too little, too 'good' to deserve our father's punishment and hell, I really loved my brother when I was young and human and _innocent _too so it didn't bother me to take the blame for his bad behaviours which to be frank weren't all that frequent anyway.

It was only when he became a vampire that my brother really changed, becoming a vampire well it changed just about everything about Stefan. He became a completely different person, the human blood it just, does something to him and because he never learn to control it, to _own_ it, it controls him. That's why he drinks all the fluffy little bunnies and what-not. Life, his life would be a whole lot better and easier if he just learned how to drink like a man.

Oh trip down memory lane officially over for now; someone's knocking on the door.

I head down the stairs and open the front door, it's _Elena_. What's she doing here? Shouldn't she be in school?

I take a step forward towards her although I don't really know what I planned on doing when I got there but she takes a step away from me and nearly walks right into the wall.

"Elena is everything okay?" I ask when she doesn't seem _entirely _as thrilled to see me as she did the other night. Did I do something? Never mind, I haven't seen her in two and a half days, not that I'm counting or anything but I couldn't possibly have _done_ anything.

"Damon?" my name comes out of her mouth shakily as if she's a little afraid and I start to get a _bad _feeling, something is wrong and not least of all because she said my name like a question. I nod my head at her silently and wait for her to continue and she takes a deep breath before speaking again.

"Damon, what are you?"


	8. Let Love In

**A/N: I'm so pleased there are so many people reading this but it would be super lovely to hear from more of you, as I said it's a long and wild journey so it would be nice to hear from you all as we go along! I do not own The Vampire Diaries. **

**Let Love In**

_The end of fear is where we begin,  
>the moment we decided to let love in – The Goo Goo dolls<em>

"_Damon, what are you?" _

Now that is an odd way to phrase a question. Not _who _are you, but _what_ are you. That bad feeling I had, that something was very wrong, yeah well it's back. With a vengeance, she _knows_.

"You know" I whisper under my breath because I don't know how or who but I know that she does, must, otherwise she wouldn't be here at my front door at 11am on a school day asking me _what I am_.

She takes another shaky breath and nods her head before shaking it and scrunching up her nose as if she's very confused which, understandable I suppose.

"Damon can I come inside please?" she asks and takes a step towards me. Is this girl insane? She knows and now she wants to come _inside_?"

"Damon" she reaches out and lays her hand on my arm and yep, certifiably _insane_. But when I look down into her eyes she looks perfectly sane, albeit a little freaked out but sane nonetheless. Which is something _I _probably don't look right now considering I still haven't actually said anything, or done anything, or _moved_.

Her hand is still sitting on my arm, her eyes still gazing up into mine and I take a second to relish in the ever-present, ever-burning fire that's raging inside of me just from the simple intimacy of her _hand_ on my arm and then I step aside and indicate for her to go into the house before following along behind her like a fucking puppy.

She stands in the living room for a minute and takes it all in, I haven't really had a chance to redecorate just yet so it all looks a little auction house for my tastes but that's neither here nor there really, eventually Elena makes her way towards one of the leather chairs and takes a seat, ironic really that she picks mine.

I flop myself down on the couch opposite her and wonder where to start this sure to be awkward conversation. There are so many things I want to know, so many things I need to understand, so many things about her that only she can tell me. I want to know everything and I don't know where to begin.

Of course it would make sense in a lot of ways to start at the beginning but remember the _circle_? There is no real beginning here, none that I can decipher anyway. Are the dreams the beginning? Who's beginning? My dreams or her dreams? Is the night on the road the beginning? Is _this_ the beginning? I don't know.

"Elena" yep that's a good place to start Damon. Form words, there's a good boy. At least we know I haven't lost the power of speech. She looks over at me as if she's waiting for me to continue which I suppose she is really although honestly it'd be a whole hell of a lot better if she just launched into her own explanations without me having to do any of the hard work. Without me having to do any of the _thinking _but she doesn't say anything so I guess it's down to me then.

"Elena" I try again "how did you find out? Did _Stefan_ tell you?" I'm going to throttle my brother, and then snap his neck and put him in the cellar for a good, oh two years, maybe longer.

"No, Stefan didn't tell me" she replies softly and waits for me to look at her again before continuing.

"My family, you know they are one of the Founding families right?" she asks and I nod in response "well they have a very long history of keeping journals and after we danced at the party the other night and I came across the original guest registry, I saw your name on it. Yours and Stefan's and he said that it was the _original_ Salvatore brothers but there was something about the way he talked you know? It sounded so very personal, as if he was talking about himself and then when he made me dinner"

He made her _dinner_? What the fuck? When did this happen?

Elena obviously registers the look of what could be shock, panic, anger, _fear_ written on my face and she quickly answers my internal questions.

"It was Saturday night, he came by and cooked for my brother Jeremy and me" she explains and I guess that explains where Stefan was all night but I don't _like _it. Not one little bit, I suppose this is what I get for trying to keep her at a distance, trying to do the 'right' thing by her. Stefan gets to fucking cook for the girl I love and her family, the ones I haven't even met yet.

"So uh what happened, at dinner?" I ask like a stupid fumbling _jealous idiot_. Which I am. Jealous I mean, insanely jealous. I might reconsider that idea of snapping his neck and chucking him in the basement for a while after this.

Elena laughs, actually laughs a throaty sexy as all fuck little giggle that sends waves of heat and desire rushing through my body and I would pay good money to hear that sound every damn day for the rest of forever. I'm not even going to question why the hell she's still here, still sitting in front of me, someone she knows now is a vampire and could kill her in less time than it takes for her to _blink_ because I'll question that in a bit, right now I'm just dying of happiness that she's here at all.

"Nothing _happened_ Damon, Stefan came and cooked dinner and we talked for a while about school and you know; life and stuff and then he left. It's what happened when he was_ cooking _dinner that's important" she takes a deep breath and that 'freaked out' look flashes in her eyes again before she collects herself and gives me a warm smile.

"I cut myself when I was chopping garlic and his face, it _changed_. It became something, looked like someone...I don't know Damon it just changed okay? I don't understand how any of this works, he tried to hide it from me but I _saw_ it. And after the guest registry thing I knew something was going on. I had talked to Caroline about...something else and she reminded me of the journals my family keep at our lake house, we found them there by accident one year and she said I should just go ahead and read them, that maybe they would be able to help me understand some things. I don't know but I figured it was worth a shot, I thought they might have information in them" she explains in a big rush of words and breath.

Also explains the part of the conversation I missed out on and I kinda wish I had heard it now because then I might have just explained everything to Elena myself instead of having her go off playing Nancy Drew.

"Have you talked to anyone else about this Elena?" I ask her because that could be very dangerous. I've been exceptionally careful since I came back to town, only feeding in towns outside of Mystic Falls and I haven't killed anyone apart from Zach but I doubt anyone will miss him. There was a time when this town was all too aware of vampires and that ended badly, for everyone involved so the last thing we need is the council getting word that the vamps are back in town and if Elena told her bouncy little friend then I might have to compel her to forget.

"No I haven't told anyone. I just got back from the lake house this morning and I came straight here to see you. I thought that you would be alone since Stefan would probably be in school, looks like I was right" she says looking around the room as if Stefan might just appear out of nowhere all of a sudden.

"You were right he's not here, haven't seen him since Saturday actually. Elena, finish the story please" I want to know exactly what she knows so that I know exactly what to tell her. So that I can be the one to fill in all the parts she doesn't know. I never really wanted her to find out like this, I thought it would be something, _might _be something that I would share with her one day, in the very far-off future but in case you hadn't noticed, we don't always get what we want.

And the truth is that it's probably for the best. She knows now and when she knows everything she'll probably take off running and screaming away from me and that's probably the best thing, for her. Certainly not the best thing for me but I guess I don't really matter all that much in this equation.

"Right of course sorry. So I drove up to the lake house on Saturday night after Stefan left and I spent the night, and yesterday reading all the journals. At first, well at first I thought that my ancestors were just plain crazy" she laughs again, that little burst of a giggle that does _wicked_ things to my insides.

"But the more I read, the more _sense _everything started to make. Does that sound insane?" she asks and yeah it does a little bit truth be told, but we're all a little mad here. Read that in a book once, very true.

All the best people are _nuts_. Who wants normal? Normal is boring; normal in fact doesn't mean anything anymore. It's just a state of being that we all _think _we want to achieve but the fact of the matter is that if 'normal' ever existed then we'd all just be endless robots in a universe of galaxies and stars that we never experienced because we can no longer appreciate the differences in the world.

I'd _much_ rather be one of the differences. 'Course I already got played that card. I got played the vampire card. Don't get much different than a vampire.

I realise that Elena's waiting for me to respond to her question which honestly I kinda thought was rhetorical but she hasn't continued so I just shake my head at her and wait for her to go on.

"Anyway I read about the Salvatores, Damon and Stefan Salvatore, brothers, sons of Giuseppe Salvatore, council member. My ancestor wrote that there was a round-up of the 'demons of the night' in 1864, they caught all of the, all of the...vampires" she stumbles over her word, her voice cracks in the middle of it as if she believes what she's saying but is having a very hard time _believing _that she believes it. Then once again I watch as she visibly shakes herself off and flashes me another soft smile and god this girl has strength, _bravery_.

"Uh yeah, 1864, vampires, rounded them all up, locked them in a church and set them on fire. Only it went on to say that the vampires had created more and that one of those was Stefan Salvatore. He wrote that Stefan killed him, I don't understand that part because he was writing in the journal _after _Stefan allegedly killed him but honestly I don't understand much of anything and that's really all I know Damon" she finishes with a big deep breath and looks up at me waiting for answers only I can give.

Stefan did kill her ancestor, one Jonathon Gilbert. Stefan killed a whole hella lot a' people back then. He was _mad_-pissed off about Katherine being dead and I didn't tell him that she wasn't, well not technically anyway because you know I was in the 'hating' him stage of our relationship back then, but she's right regardless. Stefan did kill Jonathon Gilbert, only the Gilbert's have these fancy little rings, Emily Bennett spelled them back in the day, basically makes them impervious to death by supernatural creature. So Stefan killed him but then he came back to life. Apparently people in Mystic Falls have a rather bad habit of doing that.

"So Damon" Elena begins to speak again when I haven't said anything back to her confession "back to my original question, what are you?"

Now there are countless ways I could answer this question. I'm a monster. That would surely scare her and drive her away from me. I'm a ruthless, sometimes detached, frequently impulsive and somewhat cold-hearted killer. That would probably work _even_ better at driving her away.

I'm a man who has been dreaming of you for 60 years. I'm a man who has been hopelessly in love with you for at least 20 of those years. I'm a man who lay down on every road in America searching for you, night after night for 12 years. Those words would probably only serve to freak her out even more and they'd be lies anyway.

Well the first part would be. The lie, the _lie_ is that I'm not a man, not really. Not anymore. So I answer her question the only way I can. I answer her question with the truth that she already knows but that is somehow not enough to have scared her away. Not just yet anyway.

"I'm a vampire, Elena"

I'm a vampire and I'm not ashamed of it. I'm a vampire and I know how to _live_ it. I'm a vampire and I frequently love the hell out of it. I _wanted_ this life. I _chose_ this life for myself. Yes at the time I was all about doing it for Katherine and such but again, hind-sight, it's 20/20. Maybe at the time I thought it was all about Katherine but really, honestly, it was all about _me_.

It's not so much that I wanted to live forever although that definitely is a highlight a lot of the time. Not so much when you're trapped in a damn cell but forgoing that issue forever is an appealing thought but it wasn't really, has never been about that.

It's the power, the control, the domination, the chances, for a vampire the world really is your fucking oyster. I could rip this damn world apart if I really wanted to and the truth is sometimes I do want to but I don't. It's the choices but more than anything else it's the _freedom_, it's the freedom and the opportunities that come with freedom. Not everybody gets to experience freedom, in fact rarely any of us do.

And I never felt more oppressed, beaten down, than I did when I went off to join a war and kill innocent human beings for a cause I sure as fuck didn't believe in. So when I came home to face the wrath and judgement of my father for deserting a war that he did believe in and I found Katherine and learned all her little secrets, her way of life, being a vampire suddenly sounded like my fucking _salvation_.

I wouldn't have to be told what to do anymore, no one could punish me anymore. I could flip the switch on my emotions and be done with it. I could forget about 20 odd years worth of pain and misery, walk away from it like it never meant a damn thing and own the fucking world if I wanted too.

I wouldn't have anyone to tell me who to fight, who to be, what to _believe_, what was right and what was wrong according to their laws, their beliefs, their systems. I could be me and I could be _free_.

The blood-lust was really a secondary consideration. I'd killed in the war so I knew I was more than capable of it. Didn't like it much but I did it because it was about survival, I had to do it, had to choose myself but as a vampire we don't _have _to kill. We don't have to drain them dry, although in the first little while after you transition it's hella hard to stop but you can, stop that is.

I'm not a 'good' vampire. Hell I'm not even really a 'good' person. I've killed hundreds, probably _thousands_ of human beings, although in a lot of ways I figure I'm probably doing the planet a favour there. I've also killed an awful lot of bad, bad people, I've got a whole personal justice system going on in here, like to think I'm doing the governments a favour in that respect as well.

It's easy to justify killing people when you're killing the bad ones but it's not so easy to justify killing the good ones but it is what it is and if you make the choice to be a vampire then you gotta take the good with the bad and that's what I do. I make the best of what I've got; I make the best of the hands I picked. I own it. I live it. I _love _it.

Most of the time.

Right now though with Elena sitting in front of me I'm more scared than I have been in a very long time, a very long history of telling people my secrets. Normally they get compelled afterwards but I won't compel Elena unless she asks me to and I hope to god, please, please don't let her ask me to.

I _want_ so desperately to be worthy of this girl, I want so badly to be good _enough_ for her. I guess I know deep down that I'm not, not really but the fact of the matter is she's still here. She hasn't run away screaming yet.

"Well" she finally starts to respond to my statement of _what I am_ and then she stops as abruptly as she started. I don't need to turn around to find out why.

My brother just joined the party.


	9. The Whole Truth

**A/N: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, hope you all enjoy today's chapter. **

**The Whole Truth**

_Fall into you, is all I ever do – Placebo_

"S-Stefan hi" Elena says from her seat with a small wave and a fractionally guilty looking smile touching the corners of her mouth. I don't even bother turning around, my brother has the _worst_ timing ever.

"Elena what are you doing here?" Stefan asks her. God brother there's no need to be rude to the girl. At least say hi before you go all interrogator on her. Elena flashes me a helpless look and I guess she hasn't decided whether she wants Stefan to know that she knows yet so I decide to help her out.

"Elena just stopped by to say hello brother, we were just getting to know each other a little better" I say and finally turn around to look at him from my spot on the couch. His face is hard, his fists clenched as if he's trying to hold whatever anger it is he's feeling inside of himself. I really don't get what his problem is here, he knows I won't hurt her, knows I _love_ her so what's his big issue with me talking to the girl? We're not even sitting on the same damn chair.

Why the hell did he have to come home anyway? He's mean to be in school and I am nowhere near ready for this conversation, for this day, for this time with Elena to be over.

"Elena I think you should go back to school. Caroline was wondering where you were, I can walk back with you, if you'd like?" Stefan makes his suggestion to Elena while my mind works out how quickly I can snap his neck and throw him in the basement and how terrified Elena would be if I did in fact do that. I decide the answers are probably less than five seconds and 'incredibly' on a scale of 'not at all' and 'freaked the ever loving fuck out' and discard the idea.

Instead I stand up and move towards the staircase that leads to Stefan's room, I shake my head very gently at Elena before speaking "I'll just leave you two to sort out your plans" I say before taking off up the stairs to his room.

Stefan has a picture of Katherine and like I said I'm nowhere near ready for this conversation to be over. I want to tell Elena everything, she deserves to know the whole truth and nothing but the truth and I want her to hear the rest of it from me but I can't do that with my brother hovering in the house and I definitely can't do it with her stuck in a classroom for the rest of the day.

I stop at the top of the stairs to listen to their conversation; Stefan is speaking in a very low voice which he probably thinks means he can get away with me not hearing but he'd be wrong.

"Why did you come here Elena?" he asks her again though his tone is a little softer than the last time he demanded answers. I guess he's probably calmed down a bit now that he's confirmed I haven't _eaten _her or some shit.

"I came to see Damon Stefan. I don't expect you to understand and I know you warned me to stay away from him but I needed to talk to him" he _warned_ her to stay away from me? Oh but I'd love to hear the details of that particular conversation.

"Why?" Stefan asks sounding like a petulant five year old child and I head into his room to grab the picture of Katherine before putting it in my pocket and heading back out again.

"Stefan please" when I turn the corner of the stairs I see Elena and Stefan standing at the bottom. Stefan has his back to me and Elena, Elena has her _hand_ on Stefan's arm. The jealousy threatens to consume me until I am nothing but a twisted pile of bitterness on the ground at her feet.

Apparently my face agrees with my idiotic over-reaction because when Elena looks up her eyes flash in a hundred different ways. They light up in the first second that she registers me as if I'm the very best fucking Christmas present she ever got. Then they flicker with confusion when she takes in my clenched fists, jaw, tight bitter smile and then the light goes out almost completely when she glances down at her hand on my brother's arm. She takes it away pretty quick-sharp after that and now I feel like I can breathe again.

All of this went down in less than two damn seconds and my brother still hasn't even noticed that I'm here which only means that he hasn't noticed, hasn't been paying enough attention to Elena to notice the changes in her eyes, the emotions she ranges through but that's okay. These things belong to me.

"I think you should go back to school Stefan. I'm going to take the rest of the day off and spend some time with Damon" she looks up at me and smile this time, an easy, care-free smile and finally Stefan turns around to acknowledge me.

"Elena I don't think"

"You don't need to think Stefan. I'm sure Elena is grown up and capable enough to make her own decisions" I send Elena a grin and grab my jacket off of the couch before opening the front door for her and following her outside and without another word I slam the front door in my brother's face.

I drive Elena to the quarry where we sit in the afternoon sun. At least Katherine had the decency to do one thing for us after she turned us and before she got trapped in the tomb. She had Emily Bennett spell daylight rings for both of us, my life would have sucked a whole lot more if I never got to enjoy the sunshine again, never got to feel that warmth on my skin again and I tell Elena that. I tell her that the rings are what enable us to walk in the sun and I tell her to be careful who she invites into her house because vampires can only get in with a formal invitation.

I tell her what she needs to know about vampirism, about me being a vampire. I tell her that I drink blood to survive. I tell her that I've killed, many, many, many times. I tell her that people I've killed haven't always been bad people. I tell her about the humanity switch and I tell her that for a long time I lived with my humanity off and that during that time I did bad, bad things.

I don't go into great detail _about_ those bad, bad things and I don't tell her why I flipped the switch. Maybe I will one day but it's definitely not today and I don't tell her and she already understands me well enough to not ask.

I tell her about vervain and make a mental note to get some for her and her friends and family. I tell her that I killed Zach and I tell her that Stefan saved her life the night she nearly drowned when her parent's car went off the bridge. I tell her that and I let her cry into my shoulder afterwards and I stroke her hair and whisper quietly to her for long minutes while she lets it all out.

I tell her the _truth_. My truth and truth that belongs to her now. And she still hasn't run away, guess I'm just waiting for the part that will finally make that happen. And I guess it's probably comin' up right about now.

"Elena there's something else you need to know. Something important, sort of" I say because it is important, it's just not important in the way that I'm sure she'll take it. It's only important she knows, that nothing is hidden, that there are no lies.

She looks at me with an amused smile "more important than everything you've just told me?" she asks with a wry laugh and I wonder if maybe I should have broken this conversation down into days instead of hours. Maybe I've thrown too much information at her all at once. Maybe she won't be able to handle it all. Maybe if I had taken longer to do it I would have been able to spend more time with her before she runs away screaming.

"No, not _more_ important; it's just something that you need to know" I reply quietly and take the picture of Katherine out of my pocket and pass it over to her.

She studies it intently for a few seconds, confusion, shock, disbelief and questions all running across her face and then she looks between me and the picture a few times before finally asking "who the hell is this and why does she look like me?" with a baffled tone.

"Well that's Katherine" I say. I still haven't actually figured out the second part of her question although I suppose it's more accurate to say why does Elena look like her and not the other way around since technically Katherine came first.

"_Katherine_?" Elena questions but something in her tone makes me think that she's already heard something about Katherine, that she already knows something so I wait for her to expand. She jumps up off of the ground and stands in front of me, paces back and forth a couple times with the picture wavering in her shaking hands and I _think_ she might be a little pissed off.

"_Katherine_ that you've been _in love_ with for..." she trails off and tilts her head to the side as if trying to work out how old I am "150 years? _That_ Katherine?" she demands and I am so very angry with my brother, it's official, he is going in the fucking cellar.

"Elena _no_. What the hell kind of games..." I trail off before I can finish that sentence because I don't really want to bring Stefan into this right now.

"Elena I am _not_ in love with Katherine. I don't think I ever really was but I just need you to listen to me and let me tell you the whole story okay? I haven't lied to you once and I'm not about to start so just, sit back down and _listen_ please" I half-beg and half-question her and she cocks her head to the side and stands contemplating me for a few seconds as if she's trying to decide whether it's best just to cut her losses and run the hell away right now but eventually her eyes soften and she sinks gracefully back down to the ground in front of me, legs crossed, picture still in hand, softness back in her eyes and she nods her head.

I don't know what the hell it was that made her decide to stay, made her decide to listen. Made her decide to sit, I don't know what it was that made that softness come back into her eyes but I do know that I'll be eternally grateful for whatever, whoever's voice it was in her head that made her do all of those things.

"Katherine was the vampire who turned Stefan and me back in 1864. She's trapped in a tomb underneath the Fell's Church ruins, that fire you read about in Jonathon Gilbert's journal? That's the fire that was set to kill the vampires, only Katherine had a friend, a witch friend called Emily and she cast a spell that would save them, trapping them in the tomb underneath the church until the time came when they could be released" I explain and fill in the blanks that the journals couldn't have.

The only thing I'm _not_ going to tell her right now is that I plan on letting Katherine out because let's face it, that's probably not the best thing to say in this situation. I will tell her, just not yet.

"A witch friend? I have a witch friend too" Elena says with excitement in her voice, although whether that's because she has a witch friend or something in common with Katherine I'm not entirely sure, I'm sincerely hoping it's the former though.

"Her name is Bonnie, Bonnie Bennett and she's my best friend. She only found out recently that she's really a witch, I mean, her grams always said she was but Bonnie never believed it you know?" she asks with a smile and the excitement in her voice gives me the relief I needed when I realise that she's just happy because her friend is a witch and that it's nothing to do with Katherine.

I can't tell you how much it thrills me that I'm sitting here with Elena, at this quarry getting to hear simple things like who the hell her best friend is.

"Well then Bonnie must be descended from Emily because she was a Bennett witch too. They are very powerful witches, or can be when they embrace their powers. Emily was one of the strongest witches I've ever met and I've met a lot of witches in my time" I tell Elena. It's the truth, although honestly I'm not the biggest fan of witches. They're a little too judgy for my liking, fickle little things at times too but it wouldn't do me any good to get on the wrong side of Elena's best friend.

"Wow well maybe one day you can talk to Bonnie about this Emily. Can you finish the story now please?" she asks me and waves the picture at me as if I've somehow forgotten the 'important' part of this conversation. She's the one who interrupted the story with her tales of best friends but I like a girl who knows what she wants and I love the fact that her tone is just the right side of playful. I continue the story.

"So that's who Katherine _was_ but on top of that she was just a girl who as you can see, looked just like you" I tell her with a smile "but when you look closely enough you'll see that there are actually a hundred little differences between the two of you. You are everything that Katherine never was Elena and yeah I believed that I loved her. For a long time I believed that but it's not the truth and you need to know that.

Katherine played with Stefan and me, she destroyed our relationship, she broke us apart and it was all just a big game to her. It took me a long time but eventually I realised that I was just a bit game to her as well. I'm pretty sure she honestly loved Stefan but for what it's worth she never loved me and eventually I realised that I never _truly_ loved her either"

When I finish Elena looks down at the photograph in her hands and then drops it to the ground as if it's burned her "bitch" she mutters under her breath which makes me laugh, loudly.

"So just to clarify, when you look at me..." she trails off and looks up at me with conflicted eyes, scared to finish her sentence, scared to know the truth, scared of what the truth might be but there's a whole lotta hope in those eyes too.

Hope's a crazy bitch sometimes. Sometimes hope will build you up, take you higher and higher and higher until you're touching the fucking clouds and then she'll drop you all the way back down to the ground and leave you with nothing but a whole lotta broken bones and one hell of a broken heart. Yeah. You wanna watch out for hope, but not this time.

"Elena when I look at you all I see is _you_" truth be told when I look at Elena all I see is a goddamn _angel_.

"You are _not_ Katherine, not to me. You never have been and you never will be" I reach out and gently run my fingers along the side of her cheek and it feels like the air around us just got a hundred shades thicker, heavier, _intimate_ and then Elena reaches up with her hand and covers the top of mine with her palm and the burning comes back a hundred fold.

What I wouldn't give to kiss her. Right this second. But I can't, won't. It's been too much, there's been too much information in a short space of time and I know she needs time to process it all. Where we go from here, what happens from here, it all has to be her choice. I don't want to push her, rush her. I just want to wait and know that at the very least I never lied to her.

I know there's still so much more that we have to talk about, we haven't even _begun_ to cover the dreaming, haven't touched much on the subject of my brother. I still don't know an awful lot about her and I want to. At some point I'll have to open up about letting Katherine out of the tomb. Yeah, there's still an awful lot of talking to be done but right this second it seems like she's as happy as I am to sit quietly and feel the weight of my hand on her cheek, the weight of her hand on mine. The gaze of heavenly chocolate brown eyes that have captured me and _own_ me and may as well be fucking compelling me for the power I feel that they have over me.

I think I was wrong earlier when I said that maybe Elena couldn't handle this. I think that maybe Elena can handle _anything_. Her strength is unrivalled, she's taken everything I've thrown at her with a smile and accepted it as if I haven't just told her that everything she ever believed was a lie. Or at the very least wasn't completely true. As if I have just told her that in fact the sky is orange and the grass is blue and that her entire life just changed in the space of a few hours and she's taken it and she's handled it with grace and she still hasn't run the fuck away.

I'm starting to think that maybe she's not gonna.


	10. Love Is Our Resistance

**A/N: Thank you all for your reviews as ever! Here be today's chapter. I still own nothing. **

**Love Is Our Resistance **

_Because he's in love with you – Isobel_

Eventually the sun starts to set and it begins to get a little cold and Elena isn't wearing a jacket so I drive her back home and remind her to be careful who she invites inside. She's obviously already invited Stefan in but there's not a whole lot I can do about that now.

I give her my phone number and I tell her to call me, okay fine I make her _promise_ to call me if she needs anything or if she gets scared or has questions, doesn't matter to me I just make the point that if she needs me I'll come running.

Before she gets out of the car she leans over and presses her lips gently to my cheek, the softest whisper of a kiss for just the briefest of seconds but boy if it doesn't make my heart jump around in a happy dance like a 15 year old _child_. I don't say anything but I give her a smile and watch as she manoeuvres herself out of my little blue baby.

I _love_ this car, had her for years and if I was down to only having one last possession in the world that I could have forever it'd be this car. Screw books, photographs, little ceramic figurines, for me it'd be this car. I don't often let other people in it though, she's kinda sacred to me but Elena is even more sacred to me so she gets to ride in the car with the big boys. You know what's even _better_ about letting Elena ride in the car? Her scent lingers in the air all around me and it'll be there for days.

I could happily sleep in this car tonight just to be surrounded by that scent, strawberries from her shampoo, coconut from her body lotion, vanilla from her skin and hints of citrusy flowers from her perfume that all combine to create a mouth-watering scent that is just deliciously _Elena_.

Speaking of, she leans her head back into the car to speak to me again before she leaves

"I'm sorry...about earlier? With Stefan I mean" what is she talking about? She reaches out and lays her hand on my arm gently and now I understand what she's talking about.

"I didn't mean to give you the wrong idea; I was just trying to calm him down and I just. I wanted you to know that I...don't, I don't have feelings for Stefan and I just wanted you to know that okay? Okay good well goodnight then" she rushes out her words and squeezes my arm gently before taking off running for her house.

Well, that was sexy as all hell. Part of me wants to tear off running after her to thank her for confirming what I already believed anyway. Part of me wants to take off running after her and grab and give her the best damn kiss of her sweet short life so that the words 'feelings' and 'Stefan' never cross her mind again.

Part of me wants to rejoice in the fact that she doesn't have feelings for my brother and part of me wants to dance on a table to celebrate the fact that if I didn't know if before I most assuredly do now, this girl is not Katherine and what's more she obviously somehow understands that I very much need her not to be.

Because what she did right there, she didn't need to do that. I have no claim over her. I mean sure we've been weirdly sharing dreams of each other for 60-odd and 17-odd years respectively, but in the grand scheme of things what does that really mean other than that something kinda creepy is going on that we don't know about.

She doesn't belong to me, she's not mine. Hell she doesn't even know that I'm in love with her. So she definitely doesn't need to tell me in no uncertain terms that she feels nothing for my brother. Because if she really wanted to it'd be her choice to feel whatever the hell she wants for Stefan and there's not a sweet damn thing I could do about it.

But she did tell me. Even though she obviously found it embarrassing to talk about her feelings openly with me about it, she did it and she did it for _me_. She did it to let me know that I don't need to be jealous. That I don't need to worry about my brother stealing her, to let me know that as much as she might now be mine, she sure as hell isn't my brothers' and she sure as hell won't come between us and play us off of each other like Katherine did.

If it's possible I think my love for her just grew. Who knew a heart could contain so much love for one girl? I guess it's true what they say about love, if you let it it'll just keep on growing and growing and your heart will just keep expanding to fit all of the love that you feel.

It's different for vampires; we feel things differently from humans. Everything is heightened when you turn and that never stops. Your emotions can overwhelm you, that's why so many young vampires flip the switch because it's difficult to get a handle on all of the things that you feel.

Guilt becomes a much heavier burden to bear. Grief can turn into never-ending sorrow that puts the deepest of depressions to shame. Anger can amplify to pure unadulterated rage until all you know is fury and the desire to tear the world apart, or tear the person who's angered you apart as the case may be.

But love? Love becomes something that is almost difficult to explain in words. Love becomes a tangled web of emotions, lust, desire, passion, heat, intimacy that combines into something so utterly divine that it's impossible to define.

And if that love is shared, if you are loved in return? Then it becomes all of those words and more. Love like that will change the world. Love like that will _rule_ the world. That love becomes so impossible to untangle that you don't know where one person ends and one person begins so intrinsically are they linked.

Of course it's very fucking rare. To find that _one_ person in a planet of billions? To find that one person that completes you, defines you, frees you, cures you, heals you, all of that stuff? Yeah that's fucking rare.

I don't think I've ever _met_ anyone who has that. I don't much like to use hokey words like 'soul-mates', not least of all because I'm not entirely clear on whether I _have_ a soul or not being an undead creature of the night and all. Think I do, always thought I did really.

Not the point, the point is that they do exist. Might be nigh-on impossible to _find_ them but they do _exist_. And if you start looking right this second then you might just be lucky enough to find yours. Alternatively you could always track down a vampire, encourage one to turn you instead of eat you and then you've got all of _forever_ to try and find you're one, best of luck to you.

I finally realise that I'm still sitting outside of Elena's house and I don't even know how long I've been sitting here thinking about fucking 'soulmates' and shit but I am still sitting here and now would probably be a good time to drive away. I head for home where I could really do with talking to my brother anyway.

For a change Stefan's actually at home when I get in although whether I should be surprised by this or not I'm not entirely sure because the chances are he's been waiting for me here all day to vent whatever diatribe I'm sure he's been mentally rehearsing since the second I slammed the door on his face this morning.

"Stefan" I greet him as I walk into the living room and pour myself a bourbon, smell it for hidden poison before I take a drink but nope no vervain we are all good, thank god.

"Where is Elena?" he asks looking behind me as if I've somehow managed to sneak her past him.

"Home Stefan I just dropped her off. Don't worry she's alive and kicking I didn't _eat _her so you can remove the frown-lines from your forehead" and I really don't want to have to go through another one of his whole 'stay away from Elena' gigs, it's getting a _little_ repetitive and a _lot_ annoying so I hope he plans on avoiding that topic of conversation.

"What did you tell her?" he asks me accusingly.

"Oh I didn't need to tell her much of anything brother. Girl's got a very clever brain stored up in that beautiful head of hers. Worked out most of everything all by her little self, 'course you didn't help matters much with your transforming face tricks at _dinner_ on Saturday night. Nice way to get an invite into Elena's house, by the way" I raise my glass towards him in mock congratulations. I'm actually less than thrilled that he has a one way ticket into her house but again I just have to figure that regardless of what's going on with him he will protect Elena, not hurt her.

Stefan looks fractionally surprised that I know about the dinner and his invite and his eyes take on that nasty glint again "yeah that was a lot of fun, _dinner_" he rolls the word around in his mouth like it's dirty, forbidden but I trust Elena and it's her voice in my head, yes fine it's always been her voice in my head but tonight she's back with her 'I don't have feelings for Stefan' speech so I don't care much about whatever my brother is trying to achieve here.

"Oh yeah good I'm glad. Hey did she tell you that her friend Bonnie is a witch? I figured she's related to Emily from back in the day; last name Bennett and all" don't think I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart just to make conversation with my brother. I do have an ulterior motive. I normally do to be fair but this time it's pretty simple. If I can just get Stefan to lower his guard a _little bit_, open up to me then I might be able to finally figure out what the hell is wrong with him.

Seems like the best way to get through to him might just be Elena and if I act like I have nothing to worry about, and who the hell's acting, I _don't_ have anything to worry about, then hopefully he'll take off the 'I'm a fucking _dick_' pants and start acting halfway normal again. At least that's what I'm hoping, figure it's gotta be worth a damn shot.

"Uh no she didn't tell me but I go to school with Bonnie so I worked it out for myself. I don't think it's a good idea for Elena to miss school anymore" he tells me but I think what he actually means is that he doesn't think it's a good idea for Elena to spend prolonged periods of time with me anymore.

"Yeah yeah you're probably right, gotta keep up with the school-work right Stef? Hey, off-topic, where did you get the vervain? Or more to the point where did Uncle Zach may he rest in peace, keep the vervain?" I ask him.

I want to give some to Elena; probably can't hurt to spread it around town a little bit too. I'm fairly certain that Stefan would never compel Elena, he's big on free will my brother but it is Mystic Falls and you never know what's around the corner in this town.

"Follow me" he says and waves his hand towards the cellar stairs, better not be planning on leaving me down there. I follow him all the same and he leads me down to a room off of the cellar and it's just filled with the damn stuff, honestly it's enough to give me a headache.

"Huh, guess 'family' only goes so far when you've got vampires running around in it" I comment to Stefan who is still standing behind me, he smiles wryly and throws me some gloves so I can cut the vervain without burning myself to bits for my troubles.

"Hey Damon, did you ever hear of a vampire who could compel other vampires?" I turn around and study my brother for a second, oddly enough I have heard stories of vampires who can compel their own kind but I can't quite remember where I heard it or who told me but I think that's because I have so much going on in this handsome head of mine right now that it's hard to think straight half the time.

"Yeah maybe, I think so. Why?" I ask him as I walk out and carry the vervain upstairs. I pour myself another drink and then pour one for him as well and pass it to him when he comes back into the living room behind me.

"No particular reason, just with all the vervain I thought it might be an idea to build up our own tolerance to it. If there really are vampires who can compel us out there" he replies with a shrug and it's not the _worst_ idea I've ever heard in the world. Doesn't really sound like the most _pleasant_ idea in the world either. Ingesting vervain would be a bit of a nasty habit for a vampire to acquire really and I don't particularly relish the thought of the stuff burning my throat every day.

"I'll take it under consideration Stefan" I say and raise my glass towards him. Has he met one of these vampires? Seems like an odd thing for him to just come out with really. I mean I know we were beside the vervain and all but still I think I need to try and remember who it was that told me about these vampires in the first place.

Right now though it's really late and it's been a hell of a long day so I'm going to bed. Stefan seems a tad more well, normal, or as normal for Stefan as you get on a good day at any rate so that's probably good enough for tonight.

I send Elena a message before I go to sleep _Go to school tomorrow but come over after if you can, I got something for you. D. _

Hopefully she'll come. Stefan was right she should be in school but that doesn't mean that I can't use the hours she's not to spend as much time with her as possible. I hear the front door close a little while later as my brother goes out somewhere, probably to hunt down bunny-kins and just before I fall asleep I get a message back from Elena.

_I'll be there x _


	11. Hold Your Breath & Jump Right In

**A/N: Again it would be really lovely to hear from some more of you who are reading. Regardless I hope you enjoy today's chapter. I do not own The Vampire Diaries. **

**Hold Your Breath & Jump Right In**

_I confess I've lost control,  
>I let my guard down, I let the truth out – Garbage<em>

The next day I decide to make a start on renovating my house. The good Persian rugs come up from the basement and after a hearty shake outside they get laid down brightening the place up a bit. A few chairs get moved around or thrown out and everything gets cleaned and polished to within an inch of its life.

It's true; I confess I may have a _little_ case of obsessive cleanliness disorder. I like things to be neat and tidy and in their place; in case you hadn't picked up on it already I'm a little bit of a control-freak. Just one of the many aspects of my human traits that got amplified when I hit the vamp button on life.

Also Elena is gonna be here later and I want the place to look nice for her. When I'm done I take a shower and dress in my staple black jeans, shirt and boots. I wanna look nice for her too, sue me. Once I'm quite finished and satisfied that everything looks nice I head for the den and open up my safe to find the gift I want to give to Elena.

When my mother was alive and for the shortest period of time when everything was roses and sunshine in my life my father gave her a bracelet. It's very simple really, just a silver chain with a diamond heart shaped locked that dangles from it rather daintily. Good thing about lockets is that they _open_ and as my father did for my mother I fill the locket with vervain for Elena.

I know my mother would have just loved Elena; she's very like her actually in a lot of ways. Which shouldn't really come as much of a surprise since I take after my mother in all of the best ways and Elena is a lot like me too. Regardless she would have admired Elena's spirit, her strength, bravery, determination. All of the things that I love about her, I wonder how those things would transform if she turned. Elena would be a glorious vampire; she's already magnificent enough as a human so as a vampire, I can hardly even imagine what the world would look like.

I'm getting very ahead of myself though; we're not even together so I definitely shouldn't be considering _turning_ her. Besides which I have no idea how she's going to be feeling about the whole vampire thing now that she's had a chance to sleep on it. I'm about to find out though because her car just pulled up outside the house.

"Damon?" she shouts out when she walks into the house, didn't even knock or anything. "In here" I call back from the living room.

She comes rushing in and throws her jacket and bag down on the couch before taking a seat on the same chair she sat in yesterday. It's the one I would normally use but I left it for her since she seemed to take affection towards it.

"Hi" she says giving me a shy smile. "Hi back, how was your day?" I ask and great, now I'm making polite chit-chat. "Boring" she replies with a sigh and a smile "yours?"

"Also boring, picked up a bit when you walked through the front door though" I reply with what can only be described as a goofy _grin_.

"Is Stefan here today?" she asks looking around for him again. "Nope haven't seen him since he left last night, was he not in school?" I ask her, where the hell is my brother disappearing to all the time? Maybe one of these days I should follow him around the place. Although honestly that sounds even more boring than staying inside and cleaning the house; chances are he's just off brooding and eating helpless woodland creatures.

"No I didn't see him but that's good because I was hoping that maybe we could finally get around to talking about the dreams I've been having of you since I was a little girl" she blurts out rather unexpectedly.

Of course she doesn't know that I already know about the dreams, I may have forgotten to mention that part to her yesterday. Honest mistake really, and she also doesn't know that I've been having the dreams for 60-odd years so I'm not entirely sure of how to play this. However honesty has worked well for us thus far and usually it's the best way forward so I'll stick with what I know.

"I know you've been having dreams. I know that the dreams are how you knew I planned to make you forget meeting me. Oh and I also know that they stopped shortly before I returned to Mystic Falls" the look of surprise and shock on her face lets me know that she's well, shocked and surprised oddly enough that I know this information.

"How did you...who..._what_?" she splutters out.

"The first couple weeks after I got back to town and met you I spent some time watching over you. I just, I needed to know that you were safe. I wanted to keep you safe and I heard you talking at the cemetery the day you went to visit with your parents. I can compel crows, control fog occasionally so I uh, I heard you talking about the dreams" I explain quietly.

Elena sits silently for a few minutes processing the new information I dropped on her and then eventually nods her head and seemingly accepts that being able to control animals and weather is just another one of the crazy things to add to the list of all the rest of the crazy things she's learned in the last twenty-four hours. But I know I need to tell her the rest, and I know that the rest will probably blow her mind and blow the previous lot of crazy right out of the fucking water.

"There's more" I say softly because honestly I'm not even sure if I wanted to do this part yet but she brought it up and if I don't tell her now it'll only look worse when I do tell her at some distant point down the line.

"Damon, how can there possibly be _more_? I mean so far I've got vampire brothers. Some kind of twisted vampire ancestor who could be my identical twin. Rings that let you walk in the sunlight. A _plant_ that prevents my mind from being _controlled_. My best friend is a witch. I've got other ancestors who died and then somehow came back from the dead to _write_ about it. And I've got crazy dreams that I've been having my whole damn life that I just _know_ mean something but goddamit if I can work out what the hell it is. So please Damon; tell me what I'm _missing_?" she demands but not unkindly while using her fingers to list off all of the things she's learnt.

And you see, it's a bad idea. I mean, she's actually done a remarkably good job of remembering and clearly processing and dealing with everything I've told her so far but I've come this far so I may as well just get on with it.

"I had the dreams too" I say simply, there we go, nice and easy. Words are out now and there's no taking them back. Only I'm obviously going to have to elaborate because, well she's sitting there waiting patiently for me to continue. I only wish I had something more to continue _with_.

"I've had dreams for, around 60 years Elena. They started in 1953 and it was only ever fragments. At first I was just lying on a road underneath the stars, and then I heard your voice. For years and years it was the same, I heard your phone call with Bonnie and then in the 80's I learned your name. I had them all the time, actually at one point I had them every damn night" I tell her with a grin "nothing changing, I never saw you just heard your voice. And then when I made the decision to come back to Mystic Falls they stopped as quickly as they started and that, well that leads us up to now" I explain with a soft smile.

Yes okay fine, I _may_ have missed out a few of the finer details you know, like how I spent 12 years searching for her like a mad-man. Like how some days the thought of getting to hear her voice was the only thing that kept me together and stopped me from crumbling to pieces. That her voice was what I _lived_ for, for five long years in a cell. That her voice gave me _hope_ and fight and strength. But hey, I don't wanna throw too much at the poor girl all at once.

"Damon how is that even possible? How is _any_ of this possible?" she asks me in a trembling voice and I can't answer those questions but she looks to be on the verge of tears and I definitely don't want that. I move off of the couch and kneel down on the floor in front of her.

"Hey, hey look at me" I say and reach up to tuck her hair behind her ear before resting my hand on the side of her face again.

"I don't _know_ Elena and I'm sorry I can't tell you more than that" I say with a small smile "I wish I could but I simply don't know. I don't understand any of it either but you know now that things aren't as straightforward as the world wants you to believe. Things exist, _creatures_ exist, _magic_ exists in ways that you never knew before" I talk quietly and she nods her head against my hand.

"I mean, for the vast majority of the time that I've been having these dreams you weren't even _alive_ sweetheart so I have no idea but we'll figure it out okay, I promise" I tell her and there has to be an explanation for them. I just haven't got far enough to work out where to start, maybe because I haven't really done much looking since I came back to town, but I'll start. Where to look might be the first thing to figure out.

Elena leans her face into my palm and sighs a soft breath that warms my skin and sends sparks flying through my body. Honestly the things this girl can do to me with a _breath_ are not even funny. Then she lifts her eyes to look up into mine and smiles another soft little smile.

"Do you think they mean anything Damon? Or do you think I'm just being silly?" she asks me quietly and I give her a soft smile of my own and stroke her cheek gently with my thumb before answering because this answer will probably tell her everything she didn't actually ask.

"Yeah Elena, yeah I think they mean something. I think they mean _everything_" she sucks in a sharp little breath and her heart skips around in her chest a little bit before she lifts her hand and runs her thumb underneath my eye which, ironically enough is where the veins would be in my 'monster' mask; she makes traces down my cheekbones and finally strokes a finger over my bottom lip.

Her eyes are as soft and unguarded as I've ever seen them and it's a fucking _beautiful_ sight to behold and then she leans in and presses the gentlest of kisses to my lips, it's just a touching, a grazing but something happens in that second. Something I've never felt before and absolutely do not understand.

Feeling. I don't know how to describe it other than _feeling_. So many fucking feelings explode inside of me. I want to protect. I want to _keep_. I want to love and love and love. I want to cherish. I want to worship. I want to belong. I want to _love_.

It takes every ounce of willpower I've ever mustered to not wrap her in my arms and confess my undying love for her but again, there's probably only so much the girl can take but I swear in this very moment; I will never let her go.

I feel like some kind of divine connection has been made between us from the simplest act of lips brushing against each others; really it should have been nothing spectacular but it was and I wonder if this is how it feels to kiss her, with a kiss that's not really even a kiss, how the fuck would it feel to be inside her?

Elena's hand is still resting on my face as mine is on hers and she's still staring into my eyes with such softness, although there's a hint of surprise in them now as well and no one has ever looked at me like she's looking at me right now, I wonder if that kiss did such insane things to her insides as it did to mine.

I clear my throat but don't move my hand away, don't really move much at all to be honest. Not sure if I can.

"Well" uh-huh. That's what I came out with. Seems as good a word as any if you ask me. Luckily Elena finds the humour in the situation and lets loose another one of those sexy throaty little giggles that are beginning to sound like my favourite sound in the damn world.

"Sorry" she giggles "I've been wanting to do that since the night we met" she tells me with a smile and that is all good, hell I've been wanting to do that for the last few decades. I give her a smile, read: goofy grin and finally stand up.

"I hope it was good for you too" I say playfully although it's deadly true. She gets an insanely cute little blush on her cheeks though so I'm guessing it was. Certainly hope so because I absolutely want more of where that came from.

"Here; I want you to have this" I say and bring the bracelet back over to her and resume my spot on the floor before lifting her wrist and clasping the jewellery on for her. "It contains vervain, that _plant_ you mentioned earlier that prevents us from controlling your mind so please wear it always okay? Even if you decide you hate me or don't want to see me again or get mad at me don't take it off okay?"

She looks down at the little diamond sparkling in the lights and touches it gently with her fingers "Damon this is beautiful, I promise I won't ever take it off. Did you buy this for me?" she asks without taking her eyes off the thing so I'm guessing she likes it. Job well done Damon.

"Actually it belonged to my mother" I say with a shrug as if it's of no importance whatsoever that I gave her something that belonged to my mother. That I gave her something that I've had for, god a very long time anyway and would never have even _considered_ giving to someone before I met this girl sitting in front of me.

A few days before my mother died she removed the bracelet and gave it to me, told me to keep it safe and said that I would know what to do with it when the right time came. I never really understood what she meant by that when I was little but I guess I do now.

"Damon thank you" Elena whispers the words at me reverentially and then I get rewarded with another one of those gentle little kisses. I like today. Today is a fucking _great_ day.

"You know, if giving you pretty jewellery earns me kisses every time then you should probably start preparing yourself to wear a lot of jewellery" I tell her with a grin and that earns me another one of those little giggles and honestly I'd probably take those as well. Kisses, giggles, fuck it I'll take anything and everything this girl has to offer me.

With that in mind I'm going to play the girl-card and try to figure out what the hell she's thinking and what the heck we're actually doing here. Not because I'm an insecure, control-freak, okay fine, partly because I'm an insecure, control-freak but partly because I just really want to get into that pretty little head of hers and figure out what she's thinking. Sometimes I'd just love to be one of those mind-reading vampires; not with the sparkles though. I'd happily take mind-reading with no side of sparkles thank you very much.

Elena beats me to the punch though and plays her own girl-card.

"So where do we go from here?" she asks with that shy tone back in her voice.

"Well, we could go to my bed" I say cocking my head to the side and flashing my eyes at her but I give her a smile to let her know that I'm joking. Actually I'm only like, half-joking, I'd happily take her to my bed right now but I know she's nowhere near ready for that.

"Let's just take it slow okay?" I ask quietly and just for the record I do not want to take it fucking slow. Hello! I've been in love with the girl for what feels like forever but I think she might need a chance to catch up so, we'll play it slow.

"We'll just do what we've been doing. Get to know each other, I've got a lot of years in me for you to catch up on and I want to know _all_ about you so we'll just uh, do that, okay?" Elena looks half-relieved and half-disappointed in my response but hey, she could have let me play the girl-card and then told me what she wanted, as it is I'm only trying to give her what I _think_ she wants.

She nods her head though so I'm guessing it's fine. As I said I've never exactly been in a relationship, not a proper one so excuse me if I'm a _little_ unsure on how it all works.

"That sounds good" she finally replies with a smile "and we're going to figure out the dreams, right?" she asks and yes, the ever confusing dreams. We are definitely going to figure those out "yep" I nod my head at her.

"So we're, kind of, together, right?" she asks shyly and sometimes I forget that she's only 17. She's so very mature for her age that it's easy to forget she's actually so very young. Or maybe I'm just really fucking old. Either way it's exceptionally endearing that she has difficulty _talking_ about her feelings and defining where relationships stand.

We'll just ignore the fact that my chest got exceptionally tight and my stomach _flip-flopped_ when she said the words 'we're together' in a sentence. A sentence I might want to actually respond to sometime soon come to think of it.

"Yeah yeah we are but Elena, you should know that I've never really had a relationship before, not a real one so I can't promise that I'm gonna be all that great at it" I tell her because I figure she should probably know what she's letting herself in for.

"Well then I guess that works out fine because I've only really been with Matt and to be honest we were more friends than anything else. I figured we'd give it a try but there was always just something not quite _right_. Probably because most nights I was dreaming of another man and I don't think that's really a healthy ingredient for having a relationship" she says with a laugh.

And with those words, and that laugh, my relationship with Elena Gilbert begins. Yeah, it's been a damn good day.


	12. A Turn For The Worse

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your lovely reviews and special thanks to the Guests that I can't reply to personally. Hope you all enjoy today's chapter. I do not own The Vampire Diaries. **

**A Turn For The Worse**

_Your kiss is cosmic, ever move is magic – Katy Perry_

Elena and I spend the remainder of the week trying to work out the finer details of being in a relationship in between school and spending time with her family of course, I'm not taking up all of her time. When she's in school or at home I use my time to search for information on the dreams.

I tried Google and that was a fruitless waste of time which to be fair I knew it would be but I figured I may as well give it a shot. I read through the Gilbert journals that Elena dropped off and didn't learn much of anything that I didn't already know but it was quite fascinating to take a walk through history through the eyes of someone else.

I searched my own house again and looked through bookcases and old letters and found nothing of importance and then finally made a call to a few acquaintances I've made over the years. That didn't get me very far until I phone Sage, a very old friend of mine. Although whether you can call her a 'friend' or not I'm not exactly sure.

Regardless I phoned her because I finally remembered that it was she who told me of the vampires that can compel other vampires. Way back in 1912 when I first met her she was searching for her long-lost one true love, guy by the name of Finn Mikaelson, an Original vampire from a family or Original vampires. The very first ones, the first family and apparently one of their very special traits is that they have the ability to compel other vampires, a fact that she passed on to me at some point back in the day that I promptly forgot about shortly thereafter because let's face it, it was really of no importance to me.

It's still not really, though it does beg the question of who told Stefan about it and why he brought it up last week. Still my brother is not high on my list of priorities right now. In fact he's driving me nuts when he's around which is not all that frequently thank god. He is more than a little furious that Elena and I are together and he doesn't do a very good job of hiding his irritation when he is around. Possibly because I don't do a very good job of not flaunting the fact that I am with Elena when he's around.

That's a little off the point though, when I called Sage and asked her about the dreams she agreed that it made little sense. Then she 'ummed' and 'aawed' for a while until finally making the suggestion that it sounded like 'fate'. Which did not sound at _all_ hokey to me. I pointed out that it did in fact sound very hokey and then she made an even better suggestion. One that I'm actually beginning to consider, mainly because I'm just plain running out of other alternatives.

Sage said that it could be a spell. A spell for _what_ or why she couldn't say and neither can I but at least it's something to go on and I've become friendly enough with a couple witches in my time that I could at least try and ask around.

Speaking of witches; I'm really going to have to make that trip down to Georgia sometime soon. I've been so distracted with Elena that I keep temporarily forgetting about poor old Katherine stuck in the tomb just waiting to taste sweet freedom again. In all fairness she's been down there for 150 years already so chances are another week or two is probably not gonna make a huge difference but still I feel a bit bad about it so I figure over the weekend I'll tell Elena my plans, because I haven't actually gotten that far yet, and then when school closes for the summer next week I'll take her to Georgia with me for a road-trip holiday and see my witch at the same time. While we're there we can ask about the dreams, seems like a fool-proof plan really.

I've learnt a lot about Elena this week and she's learnt a lot about me. There's not much I keep from her and if she asks me a direct question then I answer it. I haven't told her about the cell, I haven't told her about the many years of roads. We spent an evening discussing the smaller details of both of our dreams but after that we haven't talked about them a lot because honestly there's not really much we can say on the topic.

I found out that her favourite school lesson is History which works well for me because I've got an awful lot of it. Her favourite book is Gone With The Wind, also one of my favourite books. She loves the colour red and _sunshine_ is her favourite smell.

I did try to point out that a person can't actually _smell_ sunshine but she refused to have any of it and instructed me on the inner workings of the smell of sunshine. Apparently it's a combination of fresh-cut grass, morning dew, heat that bounces off of the sidewalks on exceptionally hot days with hints of the ocean thrown in. I think that what she really means is that she loves the scents of _summer_ but who am I to argue with a lady?

It's not like I was gonna win and very occasionally I know to give up the fight. Besides she's all kindsa cute when she gets indignant and it's all kindsa fun to watch.

She questions everything and in yet another way she's just like me. She doesn't like being left out of things and she wants to know as much as she can about everything she can. As it turns out she can be rather relentless when she wants something.

One night she found out that I play the piano or rather, that I used to play the piano. I don't really play anymore, haven't in a very long time save for the occasional melancholic tapping of keys. But when Elena found out that I can play she was exceptionally demanding in an exceptionally endearing way but I held out. I was always gonna play for her but I just wanted to see how far she's go to get something she wanted.

First she tried asking, very nicely. Then she tried pleading, very adorably. When I refused to budge she tried to sweeten me up. Girl brought me a damn glass of blood; crazy little thing that she is. Not _her_ blood, she just went and fetched a blood bag; poured it into one of my crystal glasses and handed me the damn thing like it was the most normal thing in the world, which it is, for _me_. I nearly gave in right there and then but instead I drank my blood and continued to refuse her.

That's when she got a little huffy and didn't talk to me for about twenty minutes and right when I was about to give in a play the thing she hopped over and plopped herself down on my lap. Legs all akimbo on either side of me and laced her hands around my neck "please Damon, for me" she caught me with her eyes and we all know how much I fall for those damn eyes. I was gone from 'please'. I played the damn piano. Girl is _good_.

We've yet to move past the gentle, tender kissing part but I'm okay with that right now. I get some of those kisses every day and it's good enough for me. She opened up a bit one night and said that she doesn't have a whole bunch of experience in the sex department which honestly I'd kind of figured out for myself but I let her talk her way through it. I think she's worried that she's going to disappoint me or some shit but the girl doesn't have a fucking _clue_ what she does to me. She couldn't disappoint me if she _tried_.

I don't mind waiting though, it's not like I haven't already waited a long fucking time for her so another few weeks, months, however long it takes for her to feel comfortable is fine with me. It did lead to her asking if we were 'exclusive' which was another slightly comedic moment dressed in intimate wrapping.

Of course we're fucking _exclusive_, better be fucking exclusive. Girl is all mine and I get pissed enough when other people look at her let alone even beginning to think of someone else touching her, kissing her. Nope. I'm done. Not thinking about these things.

I'm very much looking forward to tonight. It's Friday which means that I get Elena-time for the whole weekend but even better it's the last day of school before they close for the summer which in fact means that I get Elena-time for months to come. I'm cooking her dinner to celebrate the end of school and beginning of Damon-Elena time and waiting for her to get here. Not impatient _at_ all.

"Damon?" ah the girl of the hour "kitchen" I holler back at her and then turn back to my pasta. "God this smells amazing" she says as she wanders in, she comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist giving me a light squeeze "hi" she whispers.

I turn around and lean down to kiss her "hi back", man am I glad school is over. She looks stunning and I'm guessing she stopped off at home to change before heading over. She's wearing a little white lacy sundress that stops just above the knee covered in tiny little cut out flowers all over the place. She must have taken her shoes off at the door because her feet are bare and the only jewellery she wears is the bracelet I gave her, simple, stunning elegance.

"You are beautiful" I whisper in her ear and then turn back to the pasta because I know she _always_ blushes when I say that and I know she doesn't really like me to see. God knows why because I think it's one of the sweetest things I've ever come across in my life but that's the way she is so I just let her get on with it.

She jumps up on to the counter beside me and I pass her a glass of her favourite wine and we make idle chit-chat while I finish cooking dinner.

Elena can't cook for toffee. I'll probably teach her one day but in the meantime I have no reservations cooking for her all the time. Over dinner she tells me that at some point next week she wants me to come and meet her family and friends.

She lives with her Uncle John and her brother Jeremy; her best friends as previously noted are Bonnie the witch and Caroline the bouncy little blonde that I met briefly at the Founder's party. She's also quite close with her ex-boyfriend Matt who along with being the ex is one of her oldest friends.

She tells me that Jeremy has been struggling since they lost their parents, something that Elena doesn't like to talk about very often and I think it's because she has a little bit of a guilt-complex over the whole situation which is something I understand very well so I don't push her on the topic.

Apparently her brother has been turning to recreational drug use and older women to try and numb the pain which to be frank sounds perfectly normal and reasonable to me but I'm guessing I definitely shouldn't say that to Elena so I don't.

I'm not exactly advocating drugs, or older women for that matter but in the grand scheme of things he could be doing, smoking a little weed and hooking up with a girl a couple years older than him seems to be pretty far down the totem pole. Maybe I can have a chat with him, try and befriend him or something, I dunno but anything's worth a shot if it makes my girl smile.

After dinner we move through to the living room where we have been sitting and enjoying our wine in front of the fire when my night takes a turn for the worse. Stefan's home.

Of course he would choose _tonight_ to come back, he's been avoiding me like the damn plague all week and when he has been around it's only to throw vaguely nasty looks at me and occasionally make somewhat mocking remarks about me being 'house-trained'. Most of which I let go with a smile because, well partly because it's kind of _true_ and partly because I know he's just pissed as all hell about me and Elena and that's reward enough for me.

"Hi Stefan" Elena greets him and sits up a little straighter on the couch when he comes into the living room.

"Hello Elena, how are you? Do you guys mind if I sit?" he asks and takes a seat. Well yes Stefan, actually I do fucking mind. Clearly doesn't matter though since he's sitting anyway. What the hell does he _want_? Elena doesn't have a chance to reply to either of his questions before he launches into speaking again.

"I was just wondering Damon, if you wanted me to join you when you release Katherine from the tomb. After all there is a full moon coming up" he says looking at me with an evil glint in his eyes. Please tell me he did not do that. I groan. Out loud. I close my eyes. I put my head back on the couch. There's not a _chance_ I'm getting out of this one unscathed. Fucking bastard.

"Damon? Stefan...what are you, what is he _talking_ about Damon?" Elena half-shrieks and swings her head back and forth between us brothers a couple of times. I can't actually see this happening because my eyes are still blissfully closed but I can feel the air from her hair whipping around her shoulders as she moves her head.

Shoulda just told her the last time I remembered. Shoulda brought it up over dinner, shoulda, woulda, coulda, too late now.

"Oh that's just classic Damon. You didn't tell her, did you brother?" I need a fucking drink. I finally open my eyes and get off the damn couch but I only go far enough to pour myself a drink and when I look back up Elena is standing as well.

"Damon is it true? You're going, you've been planning...all this time..." she trails off and tears roll down her cheeks and I fucking hate myself "is it true?" she snaps at me.

"Elena please" I down my drink quickly and walk over to stand in front of her. I don't fucking care if I'm giving my brother a free show, I only care about making Elena listen to me so I reach out to stroke her face but she backs away from me.

"Don't _touch_ me" she shouts at me "just answer the damn question Damon. Is. It. True?" she grits out.

"Yeah answer the question brother" quick as a flash I turn around and punch Stefan in the face. From the crack I'd say I broke his nose which is satisfying enough for now although Elena's shocked little gasp is just another thing I have to add to the list of things I'm going to have to deal with. What a very unfortunate situation.

"Yes Elena it's true but please will you just lis-" and she's gone.

Fuck. My. Life.

I grab hold of my brother and send him flying into the wall which breaks my bookcase but I could care less about that right now and then I take off after Elena.


	13. The Place Where Dreams Are Made

**A/N: Again kind thanks for all the lovely reviews/follows etc. Thrills me no end that people are enjoying this story, there's still a very long way to go folks! I do not own The Vampire Diaries. **

**The Place Where Dreams Are Made**

_It seemed, a place for us to dream – Placebo_

I'm almost half-way down the drive when my phone buzzes with a text message that can only really be from Elena so I stop to read it.

_Don't follow me Damon I do not want to see you right now. _

Hmm. Well now see that puts us in a rather difficult predicament doesn't it? She's mad at me, which yeah I totally deserve and I guess it's understandable that she wants a little space. Problem; she doesn't know the whole story. Bigger problem; she's not gonna _find out_ the whole story if she doesn't talk to me and I may not be a genius when it comes to relationships but I'm fairly sure one of the biggest components of it is _communication. _I could be wrong so please do let me know if I am and I'll be sure to rectify my mistakes in future.

So, do I follow her or do I not follow her? Do I go back and beat the shit out of my dick of a little brother or do I go and wreak some havoc in another town? The impulsive side of my nature tends to come out to play in a big way when I get pissed off. Usually ends up with me going on a bit of a tear and ripping out a few hearts and throats but I haven't done that in, well I haven't done that in a very long time. Know what else I haven't done in a, relatively long time? Lain down on a road.

I go back inside the house and find Stefan drinking a glass of my bourbon and I punch him in the face again "you're a dick" I say before grabbing my jacket and taking off again. He's just lucky I didn't snap his fucking neck. He better be gone when I get home otherwise I might reconsider doing just that.

I come back to the road I met Elena on and lie down on it and then I pull my phone out and text her back.

_I won't come after you but please let me explain Elena. Stefan is a dick. If you don't want to come then I get it but remember your promise. If you do want to talk to me then meet me in the place where dreams are made. D. _

Compared to ripping out hearts I think lying on a road in the middle of the night seems like a relatively sane thing to do, if you ask me. I think I've evolved. Become a better vampire or some shit. If you excuse the whole punching my brother in the face a couple times and throwing him into a wall part, then again that's pretty much just how we roll so nothing terrible new there really.

Don't get me wrong I'll probably end up going on a bender again one day, sooner or later. It's just one of the things about me; you either love it or you hate it. You can take me as I am or you can watch me as I go. But in this situation, well like I said I understand why she's pissed but it's more important to me that I try to get her to understand, try and explain myself. She'd only be _more_ pissed if I hurt someone and I'm trying to do some damage limitation here.

I hope she comes. I don't think she will. She's got a stubbornness inside her that's unrivalled by any other person I've ever met but if anything makes her come then it'll probably be that text. I reminded her of her promise not to take off the bracelet just in case she is mad enough that she's not gonna come, that needs to stay exactly where it is.

What the hell is Stefan playing at anyway? Is he really that angry that I got the girl? Didn't much look like he was trying overly hard to be with her anyway; seemed more interested in telling me to stay away from her than anything else. Maybe he's gotten himself all twisted up and thinks that he's the one who threatened an eternity of misery and not the other way around because he's sure as fuck trying to make my life miserable.

Someday soon I'm gonna have to really try and figure out what the hell is going on with my brother. Oh I got a text message.

_I won't take it off_

Huh well I guess she's not coming then. Still she sent words, she's speaking, all hope is not lost. I'm usually a lot more philosophical when I'm lying underneath a blanket of stars. I guess I'm just not in the mood to ponder life's little mysteries tonight. I got enough mysteries going on in my own life at the moment to bother with trying to sort out the fucking world's problems.

"Dreams are usually made in a bed Damon" she fucking came. Girl is a goddamn _angel_. And she's joking, which can only be a good sign. I make a move to stand up but she puts her hand out to stop me and then just lies down on the road beside me. Arms crossed underneath her head, white sundress still on and everything. A goddamn _angel_.

"It's not what you think Elena I promise" I tell her quietly.

"I don't want to talk about it Damon not yet. Please can we just lie here for a little while and look at the stars?" she asks and I nod my head at her and turn back around, guess that works for me. For a long time we just lie on the road. We don't talk and it's not an uncomfortable silence, it's peaceful, it's tranquil. All we can hear are the sounds of the night around us, I can hear the water but I doubt she can and that's probably a good thing. The leaves, the wind, not a lot of it but enough to leave a cool breeze in the summer night heat and for a long time it's just me and Elena and an open road that's thankfully pretty much always deserted.

Eventually I decide to start talking again; she can always shut me up if she doesn't want to listen yet.

"I searched for you for years you know" I say it so quietly that I'm not even convinced she heard me at first but I've never been great about talking about my feelings either and being all open and vulnerable is not something that comes at all naturally to me so it's not the easiest thing I've ever done.

"What are you talking about?" she asks and twists her head to look at me.

I point up at the stars in the sky above us "well from my vantage point in the dream all I could see were the stars, I could hear the noises and of course your voice, so I searched for you. I searched for you _everywhere_. For...well for a very long time I lay down on pretty much every road known to man and tried to find you. Tried to find this place but I never did. Of course I realise now that the reason I never found you wasn't only because I wasn't in the right places but also because you hadn't even been born yet so my chances of actually finding you back then were pretty dire no matter which way you look at it" I finish my explanation with a grin at her.

But she's crying. I reach out and wipe the tears off of her cheeks "hey why are you crying?" I ask and leave my hand on her face because she hasn't pushed me away this time.

"It's just, really sweet Damon. I would have searched too, if I could have" she whispers.

"Why did you come here Elena?" I ask, she didn't have to come tonight, it's late and it would have been very easy for her to just let it go until tomorrow. Especially because she's probably risking getting in trouble if her uncle finds out she's not home yet, but here she is, lying on a road beside me in the middle of the night.

"Because I...I don't want to fight with you Damon. I trust you and I want to know what's going on because I know that there's a reason you haven't told me, I know there's an explanation. Maybe I'm just being naive but..." she trails off but it doesn't really answer my question. Sure it answers part of it, but not the tonight part.

"Yeah but why did you come _tonight_ Elena? 'Coulda just waited and got your explanations tomorrow" I say with a shrug and I don't even really know why I'm pushing this. I'm the one that fucking asked her to come, but I'd just really like to hear her reasoning for it although she sure as shit doesn't owe me a damn thing. Regardless I just told her something really important so, tit-for-tat and all that.

She lets out a little sigh before replying "I came because this is where our dreams are made Damon. I came because I've been dreaming of you my whole life and those dreams mean something. I came _tonight_ because we fought and the first place _you_ came was here. I came _tonight_ because you could have gone anywhere but you came here and then you asked me to come to you so I did. And most importantly I came _tonight_ because I want this to be the place where we move on from our first fight" she says turning to me with a smile and god I love this girl.

I turn my face back up to the stars and ask her if she wants her explanation now and she says yes so I close my eyes against the night and let my memories take me back some 60 years.

"When I first started dreaming of you the year was 1953" I begin to speak but she cuts me off.

"I thought this was about Katherine not the dreams?" she questions me in a confused tone and I turn around and flash her a grin "well Katherine's linked to the story in a way that you'll understand if you let me get on with it Little Miss Impatient" she looks decidedly guilty and rolls her eyes at me but tells me to carry on regardless.

"I was trapped in a cell, not a chance of escaping and not much hope of being rescued either. I'd been sold out by someone in my family to a society of doctor's who experimented on vampires. I'm not entirely sure what their end goal was so don't bother asking and I'll spare you the nasty, gory details but rest assured it was far from a pleasant experience and involved a daily dose of torture with my ration of blood" I tell my story quietly and I've never told _anyone_ this, never thought I would either but if I'm going to get Elena to understand just how much this is _not_ about Katherine then she needs to understand exactly why I have to do it.

Elena scoots over on the road and rests her head on my chest and after a few seconds I can feel my shirt getting wet with the tracks of her tears so I bring my hand up and stroke her hair reassuringly. Hey, we all know the end of the story. I happen to be lying on the road beside her so I got out alive, obviously.

"Anyway that's when the dreaming started, when I was trapped in the cell. They were pretty infrequent back then only once every few months really but they are the one thing that kept me going. I _lived_ for those nights and those dreams. For your voice. It was my hope and it became even more so when I realised that there wasn't a chance in hell my brother was coming for me. And you know that's probably for the best in the long run. Boy's such a bumbling idiot he'd of probably gotten himself captured along with me" I say with a laugh because honestly it's the truth. It makes Elena laugh a little bit as well though and a little laughter mixed with all those sad, sad tears can't be a bad thing.

She presses herself a little closer into me, head burrowing a little deeper, curves fitting a little tighter and then she takes my other hand and entwines our finger and I'm fairly convinced there's not a part of us that isn't touching in some way. All right, time to get this damn story over with so I can get started on the making up part.

"I was in that cell for 5 long years and then I got out" I say simply. I decide to sit up for the Katherine part and I pull Elena up with me so I can look at her face properly.

"That's why I have to let Katherine out Elena. It's nothing to do with you. It's nothing to do with me. It's because I can't just leave her in there forever Elena it's not right. I know that pain. I know what it feels like to think that you're dying. Hell I know what it feels like to wish that you _would_ just die, just too please let the never-ending pain be over with.

I know what it's like to have hope that someone will come for you, that someone will care _just_ enough about you to come and help and I know how much it hurts when no one ever does. So please Elena, I need you to understand that I have to do this for no other reason than because it's the _right_ thing to do" I explain everything to her and I know she believes me. I can see it in her eyes, read it on her face and I'm glad because it's the damn truth.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" she asks me softly "would you believe that I forgot?" I say with a laugh "I was actually gonna tell you this weekend. There's a witch down in Georgia and I thought you might like to come with me to visit her only Stefan beat me to the punch" Elena winces slightly when I say 'Stefan' and 'punch' in the same sentence so that might not have been the best thing I ever came out with.

"Don't worry about it" I tell her with a grin "it's kind of our thing" I stand up and pull her up with me.

"We good?" I ask gently because please, let us be good. "Yeah we're good" she says with a smile. Elena wraps her arms around me and presses her face into my neck, whispering soft kisses into my skin and I press my lips gently to her hair and let her hold me for long minutes.

"How did you escape Damon?" she asks softy against my neck and I go still. I don't talk about that. I don't _think_ about that. At least I think about it hella infrequently and there's already been too much rehashing of my past for one night.

I pull back and look her in the eyes "I'm not ready to talk about that yet Elena" I tell her softly and hope that she understands. I don't know if I'll _ever_ be ready to talk about that. Maybe I will one day but it's definitely not tonight. Luckily she seems to be able to understand me better than anyone else ever has despite the short time she's known me and she nods and lets it go.

"There's just one more thing I want to do and then will you take me home Damon?" she asks and I nod at her and then she's kissing me.

And I don't mean the soft, gentle little kisses that have been going on all week; I mean she's _kissing_ me. Her hands come and tangle themselves in my hair and her mouth is soft and firm and demanding on mine all at the same time. After I finally register the fact that she's actually kissing me I start returning it because yes I am just that slow.

But I make up for it and when my tongue demands entrance into her mouth she grants it with ease. She tastes fucking fantastic. God she tastes like _sunshine_. Apples, wine, summer. I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her tight into my body and her fingers grip my hair a little harder, a little wilder as her tongue strokes mine in a delicate, unyielding rhythm that belies the fact that we've done this _never_ before.

She's making the sexiest little noises I've ever heard, breathy little moans as she tastes me and pulls me closer and closer into her. I feel like I've been kissing her all my life. I feel like I was _made_ to kiss her, that she was born to kiss me but at the same time it's new and different and so fucking delicious that I never ever want it to end.

She pulls back the tiniest bit to take some breaths because I forget that she needs those, being human and all but she doesn't stop her attack on my mouth even during the brief interlude, she just uses her teeth to nip gently on my bottom lip and it's one of the things that drives me _insane_ in the very best of ways.

I'm fairly sure I growl at her just a little bit because she tugs gently on my lip and giggles another one of her sexy little laughs before resuming our previous activities by melding her mouth back onto mine for timeless minutes.

Eventually she pulls away completely breathless and thoroughly flushed and it's one of the sexiest sights I've ever seen in my entire life. To be fair I probably look much the same but thankfully there are no mirrors around for me to see myself in right now.

"You are so beautiful" I tell her again but this time I don't look away and she doesn't blush, or if she does it's hidden underneath all the other flush covering her body after that kiss.

"You're sorta beautiful too" she says with a smile, reaching out and stroking her fingers down my face again "crazy, but beautiful" she nods and grins "why thanks, I think" I reply and take her hand and when she yawns I realise that it's really very late and as much as I'd love to stand out here under the moonlight and the stars and kiss her all night long in the place where dreams are made she needs to get some rest. So I take her home and say goodnight and then once she's safely inside I head back home to get some rest of my own.


	14. The Monster, The Man & The Maiden

**A/N: I think I actually have the best readers in the world you guys are so awesome, every day! This is one of those chapters that I didn't really intend on writing but this is what Damon & Elena wanted, and what they want, they get so I hope you enjoy it. Please do review and let me know, always nice to hear from new readers as well of course. I do not own The Vampire Diaries. **

**The Monster, The Man & The Maiden**

_I'll be the safest psychotic bitch in town – Katherine Pierce_

Saturday morning finds Elena at the house and in my bedroom bright and early to talk witches and Georgia. We're going to head down there on Monday and she says that she told her uncle she's going to be sleeping over at the bouncy little blonde's house for a couple of days while we're gone. I'm thrilled that Elena's going to turn 18 in a couple of weeks because I don't particularly relish the idea of her lying to her family.

"Why can't you just introduce me? Tell him the truth?" I ask her when she's done filling me in on all the details of our clandestine trip. "I mean they already met Stefan right? So what's the big deal?" I ask in confusion, honestly anyone would think she's ashamed of me or something. I mean I know we've only been together for like, less than a week actually but it feels like we've been together for a whole lot longer than that.

"I can't tell him yet, John is very protective of me and Jer and I don't think he's going to be terribly thrilled when he finds out that my boyfriend is not only quite a bit older than me but that he plans to take me to Georgia, alone, for two days" she says from her seat on the end of my bed and I turn around to face her and narrow my eyes at her. I know Elena, and I know there is something else going on underneath the surface here. There's absolutely something she's not telling me.

While what she said sounds very plausible it just doesn't make a lot of sense. She told her albeit dead _mother_ about me and her uncle has no real say in the matter so it shouldn't really make a difference whether he _approves_ of me or not and as previously mentioned, she's going to be 18 in two weeks time so yeah, there's absolutely something else going on here.

"Elena" I walk over to her and come to a stop in front of her turning the full force of my eyes onto hers although for whose benefit this really is I don't know because I could quite happily lose myself in her eyes for hours at a time. "I know there's something you're not telling me so spill it. Don't _make_ me compel it out of you" I tease her and give her bracelet a little tug.

She huffs up at me with a mock-glare "I'm scared all right" she says finally but what the heck is she scared of?

"Why are you scared?" I ask and she looks up at me with fiery eyes filled with worry "John is a member of the council and I'm scared that he'll figure out that you're a vampire and then he'll tell the council and they'll kill you okay? We have to be _careful"_ she hisses the last word at me and her eyes dart around a little wildly as if Uncle John might just come rushing into the room with a pitchfork right this second to take me out.

I laugh.

I know I know I shouldn't but honestly it's kinda hilarious. I stop rather abruptly when Elena starts glaring at me. "Sorry, sorry" I say raising my hands and then I move to sit down beside her on the bed.

"Look unless Uncle John has some kind of in-built vampire detector then he's not gonna figure me out Elena, how could he? You have nothing to be scared of and honestly I'm not all that easy to kill sweetheart trust me. Plenty of people have tried and none of them have walked away alive" I tell her with a grin. True story actually. People, vampires, witches, have been trying to take me out for decades and clearly nobodies succeeded yet so I'm not overly concerned about some dodgy council members.

Besides they would never suspect me, I come from a long line of respectable Founding family council members. Actually I'd be rather surprised if I wasn't invited to join the damn council now that I've officially moved back to town. Although that doesn't really sound much like my cup of tea; too much fraternising with the enemy isn't necessarily the best choice.

Elena however doesn't look entirely convinced; she turns her head to look at me and seems to be studying me intently.

"What if someone gets hurt? When Stefan came for dinner I cut myself and his face, it changed. If John had been there then he would have seen and he would have known instantly" she says with worry lacing her tone and now the problem becomes clear. She's concerned I might lose it in front of John and give away all of my little secrets. I laugh some more.

"Elena sweetheart" I reach out and lift her chin up so she's looking at me "you do _not_ have to worry about me losing control. Stefan's, ugh, well let's just say that my brother isn't the best vampire in the world and leave it at that for now okay? I, on the other hand am a _master_ of control. You've seen me drink blood; did you see my face change?" I ask her and she tilts her head to consider the question for a second before finally shaking her head at me. Not like I didn't know the answer, I was there.

It took me years of practicing to be able to do that, to stop my face from transforming when I drink blood. I practiced for hours some days and it's not just when I _drink_ blood either. I could be in an entire ballroom full of spilled blood and still maintain perfect control. My vampire features are now something I can bring out and put back on command, it's a kind of cool trick really.

"See? You've got nothing to worry about" I lean down and press a soft kiss to her lips and then stand up so we can go downstairs but she just grabs my hand and pulls me back down on the bed. I guess the conversations not over yet then. I look at her and wait for her to say something but she doesn't and it takes me a couple of seconds but I manage to figure out what it is that she wants.

I give her a sly grin and widen my eyes at her "you wanna see, don't cha?" girl is so damn sweet. I kinda forgot that she hadn't seen to be honest, odd that it never came up in the whole 'I'm a vampire' conversation that we had but never mind.

She nods her head shyly at me "yeah I wanna see, please?" she asks oh-so-quietly, well it's her nightmares I suppose. Hopefully this isn't the point where she cuts and runs; I bring the monster mask into play.

I'd say that nothing much changes but that'd be a lie. There are fangs, absolutely beautiful ones if I do say so myself. God but those things hurt like a bitch when you first transition though, pain is intense. And it takes a really long time before you can figure out how the hell to talk around them without sounding like you have a really bad fucking lisp. They're deadly sharp and pointy; obviously, kinda need that for sinking them into necks, or wherever else you might choose to sink them.

And there are veins, kinda look a bit spidery-like, they run underneath my eyes black and red; personally I think it's brilliant. Especially when you can bring them out on command like I can. Great if you ever want to scare the ever loving fuck out of someone really quickly. I do not, however relish the thought of scaring the ever loving fuck out of Elena who is sitting studying me very intently and very silently so I decide it's probably best to bring 'normal' Damon back out to play again only then she stops me.

She reaches up with her hands and runs her fingers over the veins just like she did the other day in the living room when she touched my skin, her fingers are so damn soft and gentle on my face and it _burns_ everywhere as she moves her hands down my cheekbones, making tracks all the way down to my mouth again where she presses a finger to one of my fangs.

It pierces her finger, obviously, don't know why she thought it wouldn't those things are fucking _lethal_ but she pulls her finger away quickly and I return to 'normal'. That single drop of her blood lingers in my mouth and it tastes _divine_.

All blood is different, every person regardless of blood type has a different taste and as a vampire you can pick up on all of those little differences. You can tell if someone drinks a lot, smokes, takes drugs. Let me tell you, the sixties? _Brilliant_ decade, everyone was high and tripping out of their minds and as a vampire you got to go along for the ride. Such fun times were had by all. Well okay maybe not by the people I killed but I like to think I made it somewhat fun before they met death.

Elena's blood, it's like tasting _beauty_ in a droplet of blood, like the sweetest honey that I could more than happily drink for the rest of my life only I couldn't 'cause then she wouldn't be around anymore but it's like taking a drink from the holy fucking grail. Divine.

I lift her finger back to my mouth and press a gentle kiss to the tiny little cut she made and then another to her lips. I'm assuming she's all good with the vampire face because she's still sitting here on my bed even though she hasn't actually said a word since the whole encounter began. When I pull back she's still staring at me with big wide eyes and then she finally whispers words at me.

"You are beautiful"

Well that's a new one. Normally it's all screaming and trying to run the hell away. Occasionally I get an 'awesome man' or 'wicked fangs dude' and once or twice I've had a 'that is so fucking sexy' but I've _never_ had a 'you are beautiful'. Those words do _crazy_ things to my insides.

"_You_ are beautiful" I tell her and watch as that lovely little blush covers her cheeks again. Quick as a flash she pulls herself over so that she's sitting on my lap and then she pushes me backwards onto the bed before leaning down and kissing me.

Her hair falls around us like a curtain that smells like fields of fresh strawberries and when she demands entrance to my mouth I let her in willingly. Her breath is hot and sexy against my mouth and her tongue tangles with mine like we're playing a game, the very best sort of games. After a few seconds she pulls herself away from my mouth, no come back, I want more, but she only goes so far as to sit up and pull her tank top over her head before coming back to my mouth.

Jesus god there is only so much a man can take and I know I promised slow but if she's going to take her damn top off when she's on top of me then she's going to have to deal with the consequences. I run my hands from my top of her straight silky hair all the way down her back. Find a spot on her side that makes her breathe _insanely_ sexy noises in my mouth so I file that away for future use and when she pulls away from my mouth to breathe she starts biting gently on my bottom lip again which is obviously something she's filed away for her own personal use because it earns her another growl out of me.

She turns her attention away from my mouth and her lips make tracks along my jaw line, down my neck to the bottom of my ear which is another one of those little hotspots of mine. I reach up and cup her breasts with my hands delighting in the perfect roundness, weight. So fucking perky, so fucking beautiful clad in ivory lace that I'd really just like to rip right off of her and when I graze my thumbs over her nipples through the material she gives the craziest little yelp and bites down on my neck and I don't think I've been this close to losing it since I was fucking 15 years old.

"Elena" I manage to grate out her name, breathless. I'm breathless; again, don't need to breathe over here! It shouldn't be possible to be this turned on. It definitely shouldn't be possible to _stop_ when you're this turned on but I have to do the right thing.

"Elena we have to stop baby" I groan at her though god knows I don't wanna stop. she moans another sexy little moan into my neck and that combined with the intoxicating scent of her arousal make me think she probably doesn't wanna stop either but she pulls herself into an upright position anyway. Sadly all this does is position her directly on top of my insanely hard dick which makes her smile wickedly and makes me want to kill myself for making her stop.

"Off" I say with a growl and flip her over so she's lying underneath me "have" kiss "to" kiss "stop" kiss. She widens her eyes at me and smiles "but Damon, why?" she teases. Vixen. That's what she is. A little vixen.

"You know why" I say and give her one last kiss before jumping off the bed and tossing her top back to her at the same time.

In case anyone thinks I've gone temporarily _insane_ let me just remind you of a few things. First of all we said slow and it's not even been a full week. She only _kissed_ me, like full on kissed me for the first time last night so I really don't think she's quite ready for the good stuff just yet.

Second I'd feel just a little bit better about myself if I waited until she was 18. I know it probably doesn't make a damn bit of difference and it's only a couple of weeks but I'd still feel better about it. Those are the two main reasons.

Third reason is one she doesn't know about yet but will in a second. Stefan just got home a few minutes ago and I really don't wanna make love to Elena, or even make out with Elena while he listens in.

"Stefan's back" I fill her in on the good news when she's pulled her top back on and straightened her hair "we should probably talk to him" Elena says. Why? I don't wanna talk to him. Had enough talking to him last night thank you very much. "You should tell him why you're letting Katherine out" she continues.

Whoa no. No thank you. Absolutely not.

"No. I mean, well I mean no. All he needs to know is that I'm letting her out. I'm not telling him why Elena. You are the only person I have _ever_ told that story too and I'm not really, big on sharing okay?" I grab her hand and pull her up to stand in front of me and press a kiss to her head.

"But we can go rub it in his face that his nasty little tricks and games didn't have the desired effect if you like" I say with a grin "Damon" she hits me lightly on the arm "Ow" I mock, but it doesn't stop her from grabbing my hand and pulling me along behind her and down the stairs anyway.

"Brother" I say when we reach the bottom where Stefan is standing clearly just waiting for us to arrive. When we come to a stop I wrap my arm around Elena's shoulders and pull her into me and I delight in both the warm smile that she gives me when she looks up at me and the disdain in my brother's eyes when he realises that we're very much still together.

"Damon, Elena, hi" Stefan says before turning to walk into the living room.

"I think we three need to talk" he says over his shoulder but really? Is that, strictly necessary? Because I really feel that it's not. I roll my eyes at Elena and tag along behind her when she walks through to the living room and plops herself down on my leather chair. I decide to take a seat on the arm of said chair and wrap my arm back around Elena's shoulders.

"So talk, what's on your mind baby bro? We got places to be and witches to see so get on with it" I glance down at my wrist as if there's a watch there "tick-tock Stef" it doesn't matter to me that we're not going to Georgia until Monday, he doesn't know that and the less time I spend in my brother's company over the next few days the better it'll be for everyone involved.

Stefan pours himself a drink from _my_ bourbon collection, sure help yourself brother, sits down on the couch and takes a deep breath like he's about to reveal the most important piece of information he's ever divulged in his life. But then his face frequently looks like that so I guess it's not all that new.

"Katherine's not in the tomb Damon"


	15. The Bombshell

**A/N: Hello readers, today we finally get some answers from Stefan, yay! I hope you enjoy. Do let me know! I do not own The Vampire Diaries. **

**The Bombshell**

_In this silence, I get caught up when the rage in me subsides – Delirium _

Katherine what now? That's not. How did. I saw. Where did. How. No. Lying. Must be lying. Why. Not possi-

"Damon, _Damon_ you're hurting me" Elena. I glance down and realise my fingers have twisted themselves into a death-grip against Elena's shoulder and instantly yank my hand away "I'm so sorry" I whisper quietly at her.

The silence builds and echoes around me while I try and make sense of the drowning in my head. Katherine most assuredly _is_ in the tomb. I watched them lock her inside. I tried to save her. _Stefan_ and I tried to save her. We died for our heroics. So why, why, _why_ would he say that Katherine is not in the tomb? Why would he lie about _this_?

It finally dawns on me that nobody has said a word since I hurt Elena. Something that I have yet to process. Stefan is sitting looking like the cat that got the damn canary and Elena, well Elena just looks as confused as I feel.

"Please Stefan, do elaborate" I finally manage to find the words to voice my inner turmoil. There is no making sense of this and I'm back to that place where I _need_ answers.

"Well it's very simple really; she's not in the tomb. To cut a very long and _very_ boring story short she made a deal with one of the guards. He let her out before the fire started. She knew where you were Damon, she came for me. We've been together since the late 80's"

Too much information.

"You couldn't call a brother?" I jump up off of the chair and walk over to my alcohol cabinet to pour a very large glass of bourbon. Think I'm gonna need it after this conversation. I believe him. I guess it's as simple and as complicated as that. Stefan doesn't lie, and when he does he doesn't do it _well_. Bribing a guard is a _very_ Katherine thing to do so that makes a lot of sense. But what doesn't make it sense is why Stefan didn't tell me. Why Katherine didn't tell me.

"No I couldn't _call_ you I had no idea where you were. When was I supposed to tell you Damon? I haven't _seen _you in decades" he remains sitting on the couch his face less 'cat, canary' and more indignant righteousness which looks much more like the Stefan we all know and loathe and I'm beginning to wonder if I ever knew my brother at all.

I slam my glass down on the cabinet and it shatters on impact. "That's bullshit and you know it. You could have found me any time you wanted to. But you didn't want to, did you? Why not Stefan? Did you think I was going to come and steal her away from you? Did you not want to _share_ anymore brother?" I'm dangerously close to punching the living fuck out of my brother's face when the only thing that could ever get through to me breaks the fog in my brain that demands his blood.

Elena. Elena's shocked little gasp of air.

Well fuck.

I guess she wasn't really fully aware of that part of the story. I turn around to look over at her and she looks mega-confused and shocked and as much as I'd love to deal with her right now I have brotherly issues to attend to first.

"Elena I think you should head home. I'll call you later" I tell her and she flickers her eyes between Stefan and me a couple of times looking a little worried before nodding and standing to leave. As she walks past me she runs her hand softly along my side and back and gives my arm the gentlest of squeezes and I feel my anger towards my brother diminish just the smallest bit.

I almost want to tell her to stay, rush her upstairs and finish what we started earlier. Or at the very least continue it in a way that will make me forget all of this but I have to sort this out now and it's really for the best that she doesn't stay to witness whatever comes next.

When the front door shuts I turn back to Stefan and tilt my head to one side, studying him for a minute or two. He appears to be vaguely remorseful but it seems to be hidden underneath a blanket of cold detachment in his eyes.

"It was Katherine's choice" he says finally and simply. Right Stefan because that just explains _so_ damn much. God what's with all the cryptic? Just share your story already. I pour myself another drink and raise the glass towards him to indicate for him to speak.

"She thought it would be unfair to you; thought it would be best if you didn't know that she didn't want you anymore. That she only ever loved me" he clarifies with words that make _no_ sense. We've already established that I know Katherine loved Stefan, everybody fucking loves Stefan, it's no big surprise. And let's face it, Katherine is kind of a bitch, always was. A _fun_ bitch, but a bitch nonetheless so I really can't see her trying to spare my feelings.

"Lies. Try again brother" I demand.

"It's the truth" he insists, nodding his head earnestly like a puppy dog. Yeah. Tell your face brother.

"Stefan don't even. You're _lying_. You're honestly trying to tell me that to spare my _feelings_ Katherine let me believe she was rotting in a tomb all this time? She doesn't think I'd rather she was _free_ than_ dead_?" and that's really the point. I could care less about her being in the tomb, out the tomb, with Stefan or not, hell I'm glad she's not in the damn tomb because it saves me the hassle of opening the thing and wasting all my time. I'm glad she's not in the tomb because it means she hasn't been horrendously suffering all this time; I just wanna know the truth.

"Fine Damon okay, you want the truth? The truth is I didn't want you to know. It was _my_ choice. You abandoned me on a train platform in 1942 and didn't try to see me or speak to me for decades after that. In the 70's when I heard about you in New York I sent my best friend to try and help you because even though I hated you I didn't want you to die and _you_, you completely fucked her over. Screwed with her for _months_, manipulated her, used her and ran away. So yeah, when Katherine found me and told me everything I didn't tell you because you didn't _deserve_ to know" he spits out at me.

God but my heart hurts. Who knew my little brother hated me so damn much? Don't get me wrong, on paper it sounds kinda reasonable that he wouldn't tell me. I did do those things that he just accused me of but don't go condemning me just yet.

In the 1940's my brother came looking for me and found me living the high life in New Orleans, we reunited, reminisced and when Stefan told me he was leaving for Egypt as part of the war effort I figured I'd tag along with him. I'd been alone for a very long time and I missed my brother.

Only on the day I went to board the train I met his best friend waiting for me. She reminded me of what a terrible, bad person I am and said that I would only destroy my brother if I went with him and I knew she was right so I didn't. I didn't say goodbye because well I'm really not good with those so I just left the building.

As far as the Lexi thing goes, that's his best friend; she came to me in New York in the late seventies. I'd flipped the switch back on the night of the fire and I was reigning in my period of doing bad, bad things. Stefan sent her down to Mother Theresa her way back to a 'humanity' Damon but I had a few tricks of my own up my sleeve and I spent a good six months deceiving her, like I said, I have a lot of practice in faking it til' you make it.

It doesn't excuse what I did and I feel guilty as all sin about it now when I think about it, which is _never_ but the fact is I did do it but I only did it because I was mad-fucked up and my flip was switched.

Problem: Stefan doesn't know these things, he only knows that I abandoned him and fucked his best friend. And fucked his best friend around for six months. So in that respect it makes a lot of sense. However I have no intention on filling him in on the itty bitty dirty details so it'll just have to remain that way.

"Well" I say eventually "where is she then?" I ask. If they're together then why isn't she here as well? If they're together then why is _he_ here and not off with her somewhere while I live happily in peace with Elena? And if he's with Katherine, then what the fuck does he want with Elena?

"She's not here" he replies. Well I can fucking see that brother. I shoot him an incredulous look and then drink some more.

"O-kay thank you Captain Obvious, if she's not here then why the hell are you?" Stefan rolls his eyes at me as if I'm being dumb but I really don't think I am.

"I already told you, I came back to see the house and Uncle Zach" seriously? We're back to the lying stage again? Already?

"What and Katherine just didn't feel like taking a trip down memory lane or something?" I ask and raise my eyebrows.

"Katherine is...otherwise occupied" he replies. She's _otherwise occupied_? What the hell does that even mean? God but it's like talking to a fucking _riddle_ trying to get a straight answer out of my brother. My patience is running out and I'm tired of talking about Katherine. I want to know what he wants with Elena.

"So all this time, all this posturing over Elena, you've been with Katherine? You saved Elena's life you must have _known_ she wasn't Katherine so why bother? You just _happened_ to be in the vicinity when the car went off the bridge?" I snap out at him. Never believed that unlikely story, he either knew it was going to happen or he was watching her.

"You _warn_ her away from me, enrol in school with her, what's going _on_ Stefan? What do you want with Elena if you're playing happy ever after eternity with _Katherine"_ I spit her name out as if it's nasty in my mouth. As if she is _nothing_ in exactly the same way he did the first time he said Elena's name and I take great delight in the flicker of pure rage that flashes through his eyes. He takes a single step towards me as if he might hit me right now but obviously thinks better of it and moves back again. Shame, I could really do with fighting something today.

"Elena needs to be protected" she what? From who? Why? What danger? Why is she in danger? Fuck!

"Elena needs to be _protected_? Elaborate. Again" right now, right this second.

"I came back to Mystic Falls to keep her safe. I saved her life. I enrolled in high-school. I watch over her. I warned her to stay away from you because I believed you were a danger to her, because she _needs_ to be protected" he tells me basically everything I just said, except he took ownership of it all and added 'she needs to be protected' on the end. He's not fucking _telling _me anything else.

"Protected from w_ho_ Stefan? From _what_? Don't you think it might be kind of important for me know that my fucking _girlfriend _'needs to be _protected_'?"

I'm going to murder him. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to stake him in the heart. I'm going to snap his neck. I'm going to rip his heart out through his nose. I'm going to tear him limb-from-limb, piece-by-piece until he is nothing but a writhing _mess_ of blood on the floor. I'm going to...stop now. I'm going to stop now. Sorry, my apologies.

Stefan is standing very still in front of me, brows furrowed and eyes still maintaining that distant air but you can see things lurking under the surface. It looks like he's running through possible answers to give me and then finally comes up with.

"She needs to be protected" Ta-Da! I blur over to him and grab him by the neck, throw him up against the wall.

"I fucking _heard_ you. Tell me. _Now_" I punch him in the face and he tries to fight back but I just keep squeezing his neck tighter and then I throw him out of my damn way. Not gonna get any answers if I kill him first.

He kneels on the floor rubbing his neck for a few seconds longer than he needs to because trust me it didn't hurt that fucking much and when he stands up he looks at me slightly apologetically.

"She needs to be protected Damon" oh dear god I think I'm going mad. Tell me I'm not going mad please. He _did_ just say the same thing for the _fourth _time, right? Either I'm going mad or he's just stuck on repeat mode. What the bloody hell is going on around here?

"Stefan I swear to god if you don't star-" Hold on. Wait a minute. Brief pause.

I take a few strides and come to a stop directly in front of my brother and stare into his eyes. No not because I'm fucking weird but because his _eyes_, that's what's different. I noticed it earlier. The detachment, the distance, the way it's felt like there has been a dissociation from Stefan and certain important parts of his personality since the day I met him in the woods after I got back to town.

It's like there is a cloud of fog between the Stefan that he is and the Stefan that he's been acting like. I fucking _knew_ there was something wrong with my brother.

"You've been compelled"

That's why he can't tell me who Elena needs to be protected from, or what she needs protection from, I don't know because he can't tell me. Because he's been compelled not to tell me; maybe not just me, maybe anyone. Fucking goddamit all to hell I need answers. And _that's_ why he asked me about taking the vervain and if I had heard of vampires who could compel others.

I dart over to the cabinet and pull out two vials of vervain before pouring them into glasses of bourbon and passing one to Stefan.

"Here drink this" I demand, it won't make any difference to whatever compulsion he's under already but it will prevent any further compulsion. We both drink at the same time and it's, oh god it's nasty, it's awful and disgusting and it burns and fucking hurts. Oh man, not cool, that's not cool at all.

I need time. There's almost always a loophole with compulsion. Some way that you can work yourself around it if you can just work out the right questions to ask. But I need some time to figure this out, in fact I need some time to figure this entire day out and I need to see Elena. I need to be around Elena. I need to make sure that she's safe.

I turn to Stefan and place my hands on his shoulders; "Stefan are you going to remain in Mystic Falls to protect Elena?" he nods. "Is Katherine coming to protect Elena?" I ask "I don't know" he says with a shake of his head. "Who compelled you?" I figure it's gotta be worth a damn shot, can't blame a guy for trying right?

Stefan opens and closes his mouth like a fish for a couple of seconds but refrains from answering my question so obviously he can't tell me which, fine, I'll just take some time and work out a fun game of Twenty Questions until we get to the bottom of this fine mess.

"I'm going to check on Elena. I don't know when I'll be back but when I come home we're going to figure this out okay?" Stefan nods somewhat helplessly at me and turns to leave "I need to call Katherine" he says numbly.

Well sure brother, but just one last thing before you do. I grab a stake out of a box that we keep on the cabinet and rush over to jam it in his side "that's for being a _dick_ and not telling me about Katherine" I say and pull the thing back out.

"And buy me a new damn bookcase" I call over my shoulder as I head for my room. He broke the last one. Okay fine technically I broke it by throwing him into it but in my world that makes it his fault so he can replace it and we'll call the Katherine thing even.

I send Elena a message to check if she's home before taking a quick shower and changing and when I'm done she's replied.

_At Bonnie's, do you want me to go home? x _

I decide I may as well be honest about it since it seems to have worked in our favour quite well so far and it is somewhat of a critical situation. She can always spend more time with her friends another day.

_Please. I need to talk to you, it's important. D. _

I wonder how my brother's conversation with Katherine went, has she been compelled as well? Sage told me that the Originals can compel us but I don't know how many of the there were so it could be any number of them. But what could an Original vampire possibly want with _Elena_?

The girl herself sends me a message to let me know that she's back home so I jump in the car and drive over. I park a couple of streets away because although I do want to meet the mystery uncle who's a vampire hunter on the side, and I definitely want to meet her slightly off-the-rails brother I don't want to do it tonight.

Instead I go round back of her house and jump up on to the window ledge; girl really should _not_ be leaving her window wide open. Of course when I try to get in I realise that I'm trapped from doing so by the invisible barrier. I haven't been invited.

Elena spins around when an indecipherable noise escapes my mouth after striking the barrier and she gasps when she sees it's me.

"Are you okay Damon?" she asks rushing over to the window and pulling it up a little higher, still not gonna make a difference honey. "Be better when you invite me inside Elena" I tease her. Her hand flies to her mouth in surprise as she realises I've never actually been here and then she giggles at me. "Please come inside Damon...did it work?" she asks with another laugh.

I jump through the window and grab her around the waist, pulling her into me and then I lean my head down into her neck and pretend to bite her. She shrieks at me with peals of laughter and tries to bat my hands away but I just hold on to her and when she stops laughing I turn to the other side and press a soft kiss to the still red mark where my fingers bruised her earlier.

How is it possible that this is still the same day? I feel like I've been hit with a truck-load of information that I could have easily processed over, I dunno, at least four days. Not one.

"It's okay Damon it doesn't hurt" she says twisting her head around and up to look at me "are you okay?" she asks quietly. I finally release her and flop myself down on her bed, pick up her tatty little teddy bear and pat the bed beside me so she comes and lies down. When she does I wrap my arm back around her shoulder and she leans her head gently on my chest and while I wrap endless pieces of her hair around my fingers with one hand and play with the teddy bear's ribbon in the other I tell her everything I learned today.

At some point late into the night Elena eventually falls asleep still lying in the same position we started in and I pull her comforter up over us and fall asleep to the calming sound of her heartbeat.


	16. The Original Immortals

**A/N: I'm glad everyone seemed to enjoy yesterday's chapter and I've had a few people ask me if there is any significance to the fact that it's Uncle John and not Aunt Jenna so just to clear that up, for the purposes of this story I decided John was more appropriate for the role so Aunt Jenna's just off at college, getting high or something I guess lol. Please direct any questions in the form of reviews because I just love those! I do not own TVD. **

**The Original Immortals**

_But at the end of the day I'll be the one to keep her alive – Damon Salvatore_

I wake up early the next morning and figure I should probably leave just in case Elena's uncle comes to check on her or her brother walks into the room. That's probably not the best way to meet the family really. Honestly I should probably be getting back to my own brother anyway to try and solve all the pieces of the puzzle.

I drop a soft kiss to Elena's forehead and leave her a note telling her to call me when she wakes up and is ready to leave so I can come pick her up and then I take off through the window and head for home.

I'm not trying to be a paranoid asshole, but I'm kind of a paranoid asshole. Stefan drops the insane bombshell that Elena needs to be protected, from who or what I don't know. I don't know what the danger is or which direction it's coming from and I'll be damned, again, if I don't do everything in my power to protect her.

That means that the possessive side of my nature gets to come out and play for a while, I won't leave her anywhere unprotected until I know what the threat to her life is and take it out, permanently.

When I get back to the house I call for Stefan, Stefan who is not here. Anywhere. I know because I checked. Ran around the whole damn house and everything. _So_ not a good time to pull a disappearing act brother. Hopefully he's just out eating a mountain lion or something. In the meantime I think I'll make another call to Sage. I don't know anything about Original vampires but she does.

"Twice in one week Damon? You're making me feel loved" she says when she answers the phone.

"I need some answers. Got some troubles here in Mystic Falls and I need you to tell me everything you know about the Originals" I get directly to the point. I'm not much good at making small-talk to be honest and like I said, Sage and I are not exactly _friends_.

She was more of a, teacher than anything else I suppose. Back in 1912 I was still a bit of an uptight dick and Sage is the vampire who taught me to love being a vampire. We've kept in touch somewhat distantly over the years. I check in every once in a while to see if she found Finn yet and she checks in every once in a while to see if I'm still alive.

"I don't know an awful lot Damon but I'll tell you what I do know. The Originals are a family, created by a spell some one thousand years ago. There is a girl, Rebekah and brothers Elijah, Finn, Kol and the most feared Original, Klaus"

_Klaus_? I've heard of that guy. Hell every vampire has heard of that guy unless they've been living under a rock somewhere for the last _ever_.

"Klaus is an Original?" I ask Sage in shock. Nobody I know has ever even laid eyes on the guy. It's always a somebody said this to somebody said that that gets passed along until you don't know what's true anymore and what's just Chinese whispers.

"Yes as I said, the most feared of the Originals. I don't know anything about the mother or father, I assume that they passed. The Originals are exceptionally strong, fast, essentially everything that we are already multiplied by a thousand. They have the ability to compel other vampires and most importantly they are completely immortal. There is nothing that can kill an Original or if there ever were it is long gone now" she tells me simply.

Well, that's not gonna work for me. If one of these vampires wants Elena for something then there's going to have to be a way to kill them because they are not getting Elena.

"Come on Sage, there must be _something_. You and I both know that no vampire is truly immortal" I put on my best sweet-talking voice to try and cajole some more information out of her.

"These vampires _are_ truly immortal Damon. Impervious to sunlight, stakes, wolf-bites, _everything_ and even if there were something to kill them with you'd never get close enough to try. Don't be an idiot Damon you'll only get yourself killed"

Uh-huh well it won't be for lack of trying.

"Sage listen, is there any reason you can think of, any reason at all that one of these Originals would have a reason to come after Elena? Or why they would need her to be protected?" please have answers. Please give me answers. Sage is quiet for a long time while she clearly thinks about the questions I've asked and hopefully comes up with answers to them.

"No I'm sorry I don't. I've told you everything I know but if one of the Originals is coming for Elena then there's nothing you can do Damon I'm sorry" well that wasn't an answer. I thank Sage for her time and wisdom and hang up the phone before walking over to pour myself a drink which I've just done when the front door opens and _Elena_ strolls right on in.

"I thought I told you to call me so I could pick you up" I say turning to look at her "I can drive myself Damon I'm a big girl and I promise I'm a _very_ safe driver" she says with a grin and walks over towards me. She wraps her arms around my waist and pushes herself up to give me a soft kiss but she pulls away when she realises I'm not responding to her.

"Damon what's wrong?" what's wrong she asks? What's _wrong_? What's fucking _right_?

"Oh I don't know Elena maybe it's that I _told_ you last night that you are in danger. Maybe it's that I _told_ you to call me so I could pick you up. Maybe it's because I _told_ you that you need to be protected and maybe it's because I _told_ you that I don't _know_ what you need to be protected _from_ or where or fucking _why_" I turn and hurl my glass into the fireplace where the flames lick up the alcohol and burst into flickers that dance across my eyes.

I need to _calm_ the fuck down. I just shouted my head off at Elena and she hasn't even done anything wrong, not really and I've probably scared the hell out of her to boot. I take a few deep breaths and turn around to face her. Wish I hadn't. She's crying. I made her cry. Well played Damon. Well played. Jackass.

"Hey, hey" I say gently reaching out and pulling her into me "I'm sorry I shouldn't have shouted at you. You didn't do anything wrong, it's not your fault. I'm just worried and my _useless_ brother is nowhere to be found with no answers in sight, I'm sorry" I repeat myself and she shakes her head against me and burrows her face in my chest for a second before straightening up to look at me.

"No it was me, I just wasn't _thinking_ Damon and I know you're worried, hell I'm worried and I shouldn't have done that, I'll be more careful in future I promise" she reaches up and kisses me again and this time I kiss her back, girl is _heavenly_.

I make us some lunch and we talk some more about Stefan and then I fill her in on the scant little I've learned about the Originals but neither of us manages to come up with any answers. Eventually Elena suggests that we spend some time reading through the Gilbert journals, says she thinks she remembers seeing something about them when she was looking through the books before but she wasn't paying much attention so we get to journal duty.

I lie down on the couch and Elena comes and lies in front of me, back on my chest and head on my shoulder. Every so often she reaches up and kisses my cheek or my neck and I press kisses to her hair and these moments right would be absolutely perfect were it not for the fact that we're doing this because her life is in danger and not just for the hell of it.

As the day passes I begin to get the _strangest_ feeling that my brother is not planning on coming back and now I wish I had spent a day following him around to find out where he disappeared to all the damn time because that would have been quite useful information to know in this situation. Alas I did not follow my instincts and as such I have no clue where the hell he's hiding.

There's a possibility, perhaps a _probability_ that he was compelled to leave if or when someone found out that he had been compelled and if that's the case then I won't beat my brother to a bloody pulp. I promise. I make no such promises if he just left on his own free will though.

"I think I found something!" Elena says sitting up suddenly and pointing at a page in the journal with her finger excitedly.

"Well done Nancy Drew what's it say?" I ask her sitting up behind her and resting my head on her shoulder to get a better look at the book. I did not inhale the scent of her hair at the same time. Nope, nothing to see over here move right along please.

There's a picture of a dagger drawn in the book and Elena begins to read "an Original can only be killed with the daggers spelled by the witches. The Original must be killed by a human for any vampire who wields the dagger shall also die. As long as the weapon remains in the heart then the Original will remain dead" Elena reads the passage written beside the picture somewhat uneasily and then spends a few more seconds flipping the pages back and forth a few times.

"So all we have to do is find a human stupid enough to try and take down one of the oldest, fastest, strongest vampires in the world? Sounds like a solid plan to me. Where do we find these fancy-pants daggers then?" I tease Elena and then give her an oh-so-innocent face when she turns to glare at me.

"That's half the problem. It doesn't say where they are or where to find the" she says with a sigh and shuts the journal before throwing it to the other end of the couch in a huff. I bat her on the arm playfully "that's history right there missy, show some respect" I scold her with a grin.

"What are we going to do Damon?" she asks as she leans back on me again, I press my chin on her head "well we're gonna find one of these daggers, we're gonna find a human who's willing to play a little game of cat and mouse, and we're gonna kill any and all Originals who may or may not be coming after you"

All of our problems solved with a nice pretty little bow and everything. Oh don't think I don't know what's coming. Even if we could find the dagger and I _will_, don't know how but I know I will I still know exactly what's going to come out of Elena's mouth in about three, two, one;

"Damon we can't put an innocent human being at risk like that and no one in their right mind would be crazy enough to agree to it anyway. It's a suicide mission and you know it" yep, called that.

"Well we could just find a stray vampire and force them to do it" I suggest instead, I'm pretty sure I could find one somewhere; we're not that hard to come across really. Don't worry; I also know how this one turns out.

"That's not fair Damon, you can't make a vampire do it any more than you can a human and you definitely can't _force_ someone to basically go and kill themselves" she huffs out at me yeah, yeah I get it I know.

"All right 'Lena, we'll find another way" I say with a sigh and press a kiss into her hair. There is no other way. Sage said that the Originals are immortal and the journal says that only the daggers can kill them so I'm gonna find that dagger and I'm going to use it to kill whoever it is that wants to hurt my girl here.

Personally I have no issues with finding a human for the job; in fact I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be all that tough to find one, people have a habit of falling at Elena's feet around this place. Not that they shouldn't of course, we should all worship the ground this girl walks on. And even if I couldn't find a volunteer for the job I'd just compel one of them to do it.

I also don't see much of a problem forcing a stray vampire into the task but there's no point in saving Elena's life if she just hates me for it for the rest of time for doing it. She'd never forgive me if an innocent human or even a vampire died in exchange for her life.

She's also right in a way, there's no guarantee that a human would ever be able to kill an Original, even for a vampire it will be a hell of a difficult thing so I'm going to need to _master-plan_ this one but I'm the only person in the world that I'm willing to trust to do it. So there's no choice really. I have to do it. I love her and I'll give anything for her, I'll do anything for her and if that includes dying then so be it.

We don't always get our happy-ever-afters but I'll find peace in whatever hell I'm going to just by knowing that for a little while I got to be with my girl, and she will live. That's all that matters to me.

Eventually Elena nods "okay, we'll keep searching and we'll find another way. We found this so there must be something else" she says definitively with another nod before twisting her head round to kiss me.

"Can you drive me home now? I'm supposed to be having dinner and move night with Jer?" she asks me so we load up into the car and I drive her home.

When I pull up outside her house she starts fiddling with her bracelet and I take her hand in mine, "what's up?" I ask her and tilt her chin up to look at me.

"You never really said how you feel about, Katherine not being in the tomb" she says quietly and averts her eyes from mine. One of these days I'm going to have to tell this girl that I'm _madly_ in love with her.

"Hey look at me; I could care less about Katherine being out of the tomb, or Katherine shacking up with my brother for that matter. I'm glad she's not been suffering in a vampire's personal hell for 150 years but other than that I only care about Katherine insofar as it affects _you_ okay?" I assure her.

Honestly I would quite happily go another 150 years without seeing Katherine again. Probably quite easily go the rest of forever without seeing her but that might put a bit of a dampener on my relationship with my brother which I'm hoping to resolve at some point in the not too distant future, especially considering we don't really know how long that future is going to be anymore.

Elena gives me a soft smile and nods her head; I think the girl is almost as insecure as _I_ am. She glances down at her bracelet again and then looks back at me "did your mother know any witches Damon?" she asks me curiously.

I take a minute to consider the question which apparently came out of nowhere, "yeah I guess so maybe. Not like this town's ever been short on them, why?" I ask her.

My mother died when I was 12, Stefan was 5 so he doesn't remember a whole lot about her and our mother was very sick for around a year and a half before she died so she wasn't able to spend a lot of time with either of us back then. When I was younger though, sure I guess it's absolutely possible that she could have known some witches.

Not that she'd have ever spoken to my father or me about it of course; witches were still being burned at the stake back then. That's what happened to Emily Bennett you know. When I heard that they had taken her I tried to save her but I was too late. I heard those screams in my nightmares for months afterwards.

"When I was at Bonnie's house yesterday she touched my bracelet and I guess she thinks it's spelled but she doesn't know why or with what so I thought I'd check with you" Elena explains but that's unlikely, why the heck would my mother's bracelet be spelled?

"Bonnie probably just got a shock from your skin or something I'm sure it's nothing" I tell her and lean over to give her a kiss "now scoot, you're missing The Notebook or Twilight, or whatever rubbish it is that you're making your brother watch tonight" I say with a smirk.

She mock-glares at me and jumps out of the car before sticking her head back in "it's Batman actually. Jer's turn to choose" she smiles and waits a few beats, a little blush spreading across her face as she reaches out and takes my hand "come back tonight when everyone is asleep?" she asks shyly.

I lift her hand to my lips and drop a kiss to her knuckles "wouldn't miss it for the world" I say and flash her a grin and when she runs inside and locks the door I take off down the road for home to waste away the few hours until I see my girl again.


	17. The Domesticated Vampire

**A/N: Once again thanks ever so much for all your lovely reviews. This was a fun little chapter to write so I hope you all enjoy it! Because this is such a long story this is going to be my last disclaimer. I do not own The Vampire Diaries, all rights go to those who do. **

**The Domesticated Vampire**

_If I was going to kill twelve people I wouldn't blow them up.  
>I'd have a dinner party – Damon Salvatore<em>

The next few days pass by relatively easily and happily. My brother hasn't put in an appearance, not that I was really expecting him to. We haven't found out any more information about the daggers, the Originals or the dreams, not that I was really expecting to. So essentially we're in the exact same place we were the other day so far as what we know is concerned.

Elena finally introduced me to Uncle John and Jeremy. John didn't formally invite me inside the house and looked somewhat relieved when I walked right on through the front door without needing it and I briefly wondered if he did in fact have a built in vampire-detector or if he was just a bit paranoid about strangers turning up at his house, I've decided it's the latter. He seems a nice enough guy to be honest. I'm not at all convinced he knows what he's doing as far as Elena and her brother are concerned but at least the guy's trying, it's the most you can ask for really.

Her brother, Jeremy, is a great kid. Seemed pretty happy to have me around actually which was quite nice. I miss having a good relationship with my own brother so I could totally get on board with having a decent one with hers. To that end we've been annoying the hell out of Elena playing the X-Box "too loudly" as she keeps complaining at us, but she doesn't really mean it. She gets plenty of loving attention from me and I know she's secretly thrilled that I get along with her brother so well and that he finally seems to be breaking out of his drug-habit.

I've been sleeping over every night. John doesn't know that part though I'm pretty sure that Jeremy does but I don't think he's planning on spilling the beans. Elena's bouncy little blonde friend Caroline came by last night and I cooked pizza for everyone, from scratch of course, which went down a treat and then we were treated to a rather nauseating viewing of The Notebook which is apparently Blondie's favourite movie. One that I definitely did not need to see again; once was more than enough.

Still it makes Elena happy that her friends seem to like me and in case we hadn't noticed I like to make Elena happy. I'm not sure how the hell my life became so domesticated but there it is. Jeremy and I added some comedic-relief with our colour-commentary of the movie which resulted in the girls throwing their popcorn at our heads but I caught most of it and ate it so it didn't all go to waste.

Tonight we have the house to ourselves because John is taking Little Gilbert to some art exhibition a couple towns over and Elena and I are having Bonnie over for dinner. We figured since she's a witch we may as well ask her about the dreams instead of taking the trip down to Georgia to see the one I know.

I did point out to Elena that Bonnie's kind of a, baby-witch but she seems rather confident that her friend can help us and I'm not about to put her best friend down so we're having her for dinner. I mean not literally, I'm not going to _eat_ her. I'm cooking for her actually, of course because as we already discovered Elena is a terrible cook.

She might be amazing at everything else but definitely not cooking. She gets to prepare the salad, and she's only _just_ capable of doing that, no joke.

"Shoot" she says dropping her knife on the wooden chopping board. Jesus. Apparently she's not even capable of preparing salad, she's bleeding.

"Really Elena? Taking care of you is becoming a full time occupation" I tease her and walk over to inspect the damage. Oh it's fine, just a little cut that's all.

"Got a plaster?" I ask and lift her hand up in between our bodies and then she starts staring at me in that way that she's got. Head slightly tiled to one side, studying me, brow a little creased, nose the _tiniest_ bit scrunched as if she's trying to work out the best way to ask me for what she wants without completely embarrassing herself in the process. It's so fucking sweet. So I save her the trouble.

"May I?" I ask with a glance and a tug on her finger where she's cut herself before looking back up at her eyes, she nods at me and that blush covers her features again, crazy girl that she is.

Well you don't have to tell me twice, blood's a _whole _lot more preferable to pasta for me, especially Elena's blood. I pull her finger into my mouth and lick up the blood around the cut, fangs don't even come out or anything, such control.

Girl tastes fucking angelic, just like I remembered. Divine. It's like tasting heaven. She lets loose a sexy, throaty little moan and before I even know what I'm doing I've got her backed up against the fridge and trapped underneath my arms. I look down and give her a predatory little smile before crushing my mouth to hers.

She whimpers into my mouth and it sounds incredible, it _feels_ incredible and I push myself up against her and feel shivers run through my entire body when she arches her back up and presses herself into me, wrapping her arms around my neck. Her fingers dive into my hair and tangle themselves up in it and I plunge my tongue inside her mouth. There's such an intoxicating combination of blood and wine and cherries and it is crazy, the things this girl does to me.

She moves her hands out of my hair and runs them down my chest before slipping them underneath my shirt and I nearly jump away when that_ burning_ hits me again. It spreads over my entire body and I pull my lips away from hers to let her breathe and move to concentrate on her neck, kissing all the way down her creamy skin, biting gently as I go with blunt teeth in a way that elicits sexy little gasps from Elena with every single one and I just know she's gonna love being bitten properly.

Just as I'm about to change bases there's a knock on the door and I drop my head into the curve between Elena's neck and shoulder and try to catch my breath "no, go _away_" I grumble into her skin which makes her giggle.

"Coming, I'm coming" she shouts when there's another knock.

"No you're not don't lie; but you _should_ be" I growl at her and give her another quick kiss before she dances away from me to let her friend in the house, she laughs at me the whole way. Glad someone finds it fucking funny, little tease. I stay in the kitchen for a minute to allow myself a chance to calm down and then wander through to meet Bonnie who is in the living room chattering with a rather dishevelled looking Elena.

"Hi I'm Damon" I say holding out my hand for Bonnie, she takes it and gasps suddenly "what happened to you?" she whispers before dropping my hand like I burned her.

I shoot a look at Elena but she just stands there helplessly and I'm guessing she probably didn't fill her friend in on the whole 'boyfriend's a vampire' part which I suppose is only natural and I should be pleased really because it means she listened to me when I asked her not to tell anyone. I guess I'll just have to do the honours myself then.

You know it's kinda funny, most of my existence I've managed to get by without people knowing about me unless I wanted them to and within the space of a few weeks I've had someone ask me what I am and someone ask me what happened to me.

"I'm a vampire" I say with a slight shrug, no biggie. Bonnie gives a little shriek and jumps backwards towards Elena, holding out one hand in front of her and then the other in front of herself and then I'm _burning_.

I'm burning in my _brain_. The pain. Oh god the pain. It's like a _fire_ in my brain. Please god make it stop. I somewhat register clutching my head and falling to my knees. "Elena. Pl-ease, please. Hurts. 'Lena" oh god make it stop. Make it stop.

"Bonnie what are you doing to him? Bonnie stop it stop it _now_ you're _hurting _him. Bonnie! Bonnie! Stop please stop!" Elena is screaming at her friend and the pain, the burning doesn't stop and I think I'm going to _die_ and I can't because I need to protect Elena. Save Elena. Love Elena. I can't die. "Please" I manage to find words.

"Bonnie you have to _stop"_ Elena runs over and sinks to her knees beside me, her hand running up and down my back and through my hair as she pleads with her friend to stop.

"He's a _vampire_ Elena he has to die. I won't let him hurt you" Jesus I knew there was a reason I hated damn witches, fucking judgy little things. If I concentrate hard enough on Elena's hands on me then I can almost think straight through the agonising burning in my brain; this is not the good kind of burning. This is the very worst kind of burning imaginable; this is a thousand times worse than the sun.

"Bonnie! Damon would never hurt me you have to _stop"_ Elena leaps up and runs over to her friend and somehow manages to shake her out of whatever murderous trance she's gotten herself into and finally the burning goes away. I drop my head to the cool floor and find sweet blessed relief. Fuck me that hurt like hell.

Elena comes back to join me on the floor and wraps her arms around me and presses her face against my hair. I let her hold me for a few seconds while I try to recover from whatever the hell _that_ was.

"Damon are you okay?" she asks and pulls away from me "can you sit up? Are you okay?" she asks again and gently tugs on my arm. I pull myself up into a sitting position "I, think so?" god if I never have to go through that again it will be a day too soon. I flash a glare at her friend who is still just standing in the middle of the room looking absolutely terrified. She should be.

I jump up off the floor and growl at her before taking a step towards her to eat her or something but I crash right into Elena.

"Elena, please get out of my way sweetheart" I say staring down at her with a 'right this damn second' look on my face but she just lifts her hand to my chest "Damon _please_, she's my best friend" she employs her very best big doe eyes that she bloody knows I can't resist falling head over feet for and with the _please_ and the heat from her hands on my chest I know she knows that she's won this battle before it even started. God. Dammit.

"_Fine_. Fine. Elena, deal with your friend please. I'm going to finish dinner" I snap out and turn quickly for the kitchen where I pour myself a glass of bourbon or three to calm my own murderous instincts and clear my head.

After a little while the girls come through to the kitchen and we sit down for dinner. I give Bonnie the Teenage Witch a brief run-down of my history and miss out all of the parts that are more than likely to leave me with another blast of that brain-pain. I tell her about her ancestor Emily and she seems to warm up to me a fraction when I tell her that I tried to save her life.

At some point over the third course I decide that even though it hurt like holy hell I can't really be too harsh on someone who is only looking out for my girl's life and it's never a bad thing to have a witch on your side; particularly a Bennett witch so as long as she doesn't do it again then we probably won't have any more problems.

All the while Elena sits there with a big happy smile on her face as she watches Bonnie and I work through our issues somewhat peacefully. Who would have ever known I could resolve my differences over a dinner party? Normally I throw them, so I can eat people. How my life has changed.

Eventually we move through to the living room and get to the main feature of the evening; the dreams.

"Bonnie, Damon and I wanted to ask for your help with something. You know the dreams I've been having all of my life? Well Damon had them too, only he was dreaming about me while I was dreaming about him. And we think it might be something magical" Elena stops rather abruptly and looks at me with bright red cheeks when she realises what she's said and I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing at her because if I do she'll just get grumpy or punch me or something but it was pretty damn cute.

"What I _mean_" she says with a mock-glare at me "is that we think it might have something to do with a _spell_ and we were wondering if you might know anything about that sort of thing?" she asks and turns to look at her friend with interest. Oh fine, we _both_ turn to look at her friend with interest.

"_You_ are the man from the dreams?" Bonnie asks with a surprising amount of shock since I'm fairly sure that's what Elena just told her "that'd be me, the man of Elena's dreams" I say with a cocky smile which makes Elena giggle and Bonnie frown.

Elena provides Bonnie with some more information about the dreams and eventually she agrees that it does sound like they could have been the result of a spell; probably because along with the rest of us she realises that there's no other bloody explanation for them.

"But I don't know anything about those sorts of spells. I'm only really _beginning_ to tap into my power Elena" she says and I glare at her. She's only _beginning_ to learn this shit and the very first thing she learns is how to take down a vampire? She damn near killed me!

"I still have so much to learn but I could totally talk to my Grams about it" she tells Elena excitedly and pointedly ignores my glare.

"Hold on what does your Grams have to do with anything?" I ask.

"Grams is a very powerful witch and if anyone is going to know anything about the dreams or the spells then it'll be her, so should I ask her?" she looks back and forth between Elena and me for a few seconds and then I shrug at Elena.

"Gotta be worth a shot I guess, set to it Sabrina" I say with a grin. Anybody that might be able to shed some fucking light on this situation is worth talking to in my book.

"You know that Sabrina had _aunts_, right?" Bonnie asks me with a small smile "well yeah but she was a teenage witch, hey if the shoe fits" I say and smirk at her.

"Okay well, that's settled then. Bonnie will let us know if she finds anything out so I'm going to go and clear away the dishes before Uncle John comes home" Elena tells us and stands up, wandering away to the kitchen to tidy up which gives me a chance to talk to the witch privately. Which is exactly what I needed, otherwise I'd have done the dishes myself.

"Say Bonnie, what was that neat little trick you played earlier when you set my _brain_ on fire?" I ask her quietly in case Elena is trying to eavesdrop on our conversation.

"Yeah sorry about that I was just trying to-"

"Protect Elena yeah I get it, all is forgiven but what _is_ it?" I interrupt her sentence and ask her for answers rather impatiently.

"Aneurisms. Like, a _lot_ of aneurisms, over and over and over again" she says looking somewhat ashamed of herself for not getting the facts before blasting my brain. She also looks mildly proud of herself though so I guess it's a witch thing.

"Think you could do it to any vampire?" I ask before standing up and grabbing the Gilbert journal that contains the information about the Originals off of the bookshelf.

"Uh, yeah I guess so why?" she asks and I show her the picture of the dagger and the information we have on the Originals and explain to her what's going on with Elena.

"We need to find this dagger and then when whoever this vampire is comes for Elena you can do your brain-pain to take him or her down and I'll find someone to stick the dagger in their heart" I explain, maybe I don't have to die after all.

"Well sure, I guess that would work. Elena could do it" Bonnie suggests. Uh, no. That sounds rather _terrifying_. What if something goes wrong? Something could happen to her. That's not an option. I guess the look on my face let's Bonnie in on my inner turmoil because she quickly backtracks.

"I mean no, of course Elena can't do it that's silly. But who are you going to find who's willing to risk it?" she asks.

"I'll figure something out. None of this matters until we find the dagger anyway" I hear Elena finishing up in the kitchen "_don't_ tell Elena" I warn her and put the book back in the cabinet.

"You _love_ her don't you?" Bonnie asks incredulously. Apparently I haven't done that brilliant a job at impressing her after all.

"Well don't give away _all _of my secrets Bonnie" I say with a grin as Elena walks back through to the living room. I pull her down on my lap and we spend the rest of the evening talking about witches and dreams and spells with no brain burning in sight.

I don't want Elena to know what's going on, partly because I don't want to worry her and partly because this is by no means a fool-proof plan. Let's face it; there's still a damn high chance that it's gonna have to be me that does the killing in this situation and the less Elena knows about it the better.


	18. Happy Unbirthday Damon

**A/N: Just a for the record: this is a *very* fluffy chapter. I felt really bad for show-Elena when her 18****th**** birthday was ruined so I wanted to give her a *very* different birthday and I think I did! I also thought she deserved one good day/night before everything starts going a bit…downhill. That being said, I sincerely hope you enjoy this one. Also, I am by no means an expert in writing sex/smut scenes and it makes me incredibly nervous to post those chapters so please, even if you hate it, be gentle with me. **

**Happy Unbirthday Damon**

_Beautiful is free, beautiful stripped me, she stripped me – Creed_

The remainder of our week passes uneventfully; Bonnie has no further information on the dreams, spells, daggers or really anything of importance so I have absolutely nothing new to report on that front.

Today is Elena's 18th birthday and against my better judgement her friends managed to persuade me to lease my house out to a couple truck-loads of teenagers for the night. It's not a surprise party but I think there are around two hundred more people here than Elena expected there to be. Ah well, hopefully it'll be a birthday she never forgets.

I leave Blondie and Sabrina in charge of, something, while I head out to pick up Elena from her house. John opens the door for me and shakes my hand somewhat formally and somewhat scarily because after the last time someone shook my hand I start getting flashbacks of horrific burning in my brain.

Jeremy walks out of the door with a "hey man" and goes to jump in the car and then my girl walks down the stairs.

I forget to breathe. I forget that I don't have to breathe. I forget _everything. _I'm not even sure I could tell you my name right now. All I know is _Elena_. All I see is Elena. And Elena is a _goddess_. A vision clad in black and gold. I don't think I've ever seen something, someone, anything; more beautiful that she is and beautiful is such a _useless_ word right now. I need better words.

Let me just, break this down for you. We'll take it from the top. Her luscious chestnut, strawberry scented hair falls in soft waves around her shoulders, half of it appears to be pinned up and soft little tendrils frame her face.

Mouth wateringly bare neck, well mouth watering for this vampire anyway and this black and gold dress, I don't know if you could call it a dress. It's strapless. It's short. It's black. It's golden. Just in case I hadn't made that clear. It shimmers every time she moves like she's a golden star on a dark night and it clings to her body like a second layer of skin.

Defines every incredible curve of her body and then just inches of glorious bare legs and feet adorned in gold strappy sandals that must have oh, at least ten inches of heel. Okay, maybe not quite ten inches. I might be exaggerating that part a little bit but the rest? I can't even begin to do her justice.

"Might want to close your mouth there, you're drooling a little" John's hand waves in front of my face and Elena's sexy little burst of laughter breaks me out of the dream I must be in because this cannot be real. I snap my jaw closed and grin at my birthday girl as she finally comes to stand in front of me and presses a kiss to my cheek. Yep, she's real. It's not a dream. Still looks the same and everything.

"You look...speechless. I'm speechless" I somehow manage to form words even if they are pretty much beyond useless but Elena just laughs again. "That good huh? You don't clean up too bad yourself Mr. Salvatore" ah yes, _that's_ my name.

I grin at Elena "I do try" and I did, wore a white shirt and everything. I offer her my arm "shall we?" and she loops her hand through my elbow before turning back to her uncle.

"Damon will bring me home in the morning, good night" she says to a still very amused looking John, his face falls a little at her words though. "Elena I don't..." he trails off obviously reconsidering his words before speaking again "you know what? I don't need to know. Just go, have fun, enjoy your birthday" he says with a smile which Elena returns and right before he closes the door he says "how did this become my life?" under his breath but only I hear him obviously. Poor John, guy really doesn't have a clue what he's doing.

I'm fairly certain that Elena is only staying because it's her birthday and chances are high that she's going to get a little wrecked and I'm going to get a little wrecked and despite being a vampire with superb reflexes she still wouldn't want me driving drunk.

Just because she's turned 18 doesn't suddenly mean that she's decided to sleep with me and she's given me no signs that she's ready for that, like I said before, I'm okay with that I can wait. I just take a lot more cold showers these days than I used to.

When we get to the house Jeremy darts inside muttering something about finding his friend Tyler and Elena stares at the outside of the house in awe. Yeah. Turns out, Caroline is a _little_ bit of a task-master. She hung fairy lights, okay, okay I'm sorry, _I_ hung fairy lights all over the front of the house and even I have to admit it looks pretty stunning.

Inside my house is filled with more bloody flowers than a flower shop. There's sparkling confetti shit _all_ over the place that I just know is gonna be a bitch to clean up. There's a champagne fountain overflowing with the incredibly expensive champagne I bought for Elena. There's a chocolate fountain on the other side and my house is filled with more under-age teenagers than you can shake a stick at.

Fortunately I live relatively far away from any neighbours so the noise shouldn't be an issue and I suppose I can always compel, compel away if anyone turns up to investigate.

And it's so, totally worth it. Every little bit, every single dollar, every last piece of sparkly confetti shit that I'll probably never get rid of is totally worth it for the smile on Elena's face.

"Damon did you do all of this?" she turns to me with joy evident in her eyes and I give her a lopsided smile in return "well I can't take all the credit, Blondie planned everything and then she and Bonnie just ordered me around the place for the day, and this was the end result" I tell her gesturing around me with my hands.

"It's incredible Damon I love it, thank you so much" she responds and throws her arms around my neck "you're welcome, happy birthday sweetheart" I whisper into her ear and press a kiss into her hair and then Blondie bounces over.

"Damon! Don't hog the birthday girl" she scolds me and tugs Elena away from me "Happy birthday 'Lena! What do you think? Do you love it? Come and dance with me. Do you want a glass of champagne? Did you know that..." Caroline's voice fades out into the noise of the music and the people as she drags Elena away from me. My girl turns and flashes me a semi-apologetic look over her shoulder but I just laugh, as long as she's having fun I am happy.

I wander around the house for a while and rescue some of my most expensive bourbon from some jock-types and put it away safely. I find Jeremy hanging out in my den with his friends and he introduces me and offers me a smoke of his joint, not something I really do but I take a couple of drags anyway "I won't tell your sister if you don't" I tell him with a grin before leaving them to it.

Kid's been a lot more grounded recently; he's doing better in school, working on some history report for extra credit. He's sketching again which thrills Elena no end and he's stopped hanging around the older girl like a lost puppy so I figure if he wants to blow off a little steam on Elena's birthday then why the hell not, could be a lot worse really.

I head back into the living room and watch Elena dancing with her friends for a while. She looks insanely happy, sexy, free and it's a relief to take one day, one night off from all the stressing over my brother, Originals, dangers to her life, dreams and just enjoy the day and embrace the night.

After an hour or so of dancing with random teenagers I make an escape to the basement to drink a glass of blood in peace and when I come back upstairs I can't find Elena anywhere. I admit it, I panic. I'm panicking. I'm panicked. Where is she? Where did she go? Why did I leave? Dammit Damon.

Okay. Hold on. I am a vampire. This is not difficult. Calm the fuck down. I can find her. I focus on the scents and sounds around me and block out everyone and everything that is not distinctly _Elena_. I follow the scent of vanilla and honey and find her outside helping Blondie into a taxi. I listen as she tells the driver the address and hands him some money to cover the fare and when she turns around she bumps right into me and nearly falls over backwards.

Her hand flies up to her mouth to cover a shriek and I reach out and wrap my arm around her waist and pull her into me.

"Damon you scared me" she says and bats at my chest with her fist.

"Well that makes two of us" I whisper at her "oh god I'm sorry" she says bringing her hand back to her mouth again and then she twists her head in the direction her friend went off in "Care got sick and I called her a taxi and I just...I wasn't thinking, _again_. I'm sorry Damon" she says reaching up to stroke my cheek.

I smile down at her and shake my head "my fault I'm the one who disappeared. I was just being paranoid" sure Damon, that's a good word for it _not_. But the last thing I want is Elena feeling bad, she didn't do anything wrong and it's fucking ridiculous that the girl can't step outside without worrying whether someone is going to come and grab her or, well never mind that. I shouldn't have left, simple as that really.

"Care to come inside and dance with an insanely attractive vampire?" I ask her with a grin. She takes a step back and turns her head from side to side a couple of times before looking at me "I dunno, do you see one anywhere?" she asks in a peal of giggles before grabbing my hand and dragging me back inside. "You're hilarious Gilbert" I tease her; I'm getting the impression that Elena might be a little drunk.

As it turns out drunken Elena is hella fun. We dance for what feels like hours. Music ranging from up-tempo songs that Elena flings herself around me to in a wildly sexy way, twirling around me in a circle of stars, to slow melancholic love songs that she entwines her body around me to, pressed tight against me, soft lips finding my neck, cheek, hair, wherever her mouth happens to land near really and I hold her gently and sway from side to side and find joy in intimate moments and the feeling of finally being content in a way I have never felt before I met the girl in my arms. I think I need this always. I want to keep her forever.

Eventually people begin to leave the house and after another half hour or so the place pretty much clears out and I leave Elena to say goodnight to Bonnie and find out if Jeremy went home or not while I go upstairs to get her birthday presents for her.

I'm digging through my dresser drawer when she comes in and closes the door, aha! Got them.

"Did you find-"

Holy fucking wow.

"I got you a present" Elena says. Speaks. Words. I. Am not capable.

"S'not my birthday" my voice comes out shakily, broken, uneven, husky as all fuck.

She's standing in front of me, in my bedroom, like some kind of dark angel. Black silk bra. Black silk panties, tiny, oh-so-tiny. Black silk garter belt holding up black stockings. All of it covered in shimmering golden _dust_ or something who the hell knows.

I have never seen. I don't know. I've just never seen. I may as well have never seen anything in my life because nothing I have ever seen in my life makes a bigger impact than what I'm looking at right now and I've seen a lot of fucking things. I've seen all the fucking wonders of the world but I have seen _nothing_ before this girl.

Well, I guess I was wrong about Elena not being ready for the good stuff. I didn't get that memo but fuck she better be ready because there's not a chance in hell she just turned up in my bedroom looking like holy fucking wow without being ready.

I put her presents down on the top of the dresser and stalk towards her and her eyes widen imperceptibly and she smiles widely as she watches me approach her.

"Best. Present. Ever" I say before attacking her mouth with mine.

I pull her into my arms and kiss her deeply, taking ownership of the sexy little moans coming from her mouth and returning some of my own when she starts running her hands over my body. My body which is still way too overdressed for this party. I move her back towards the bed without letting my mouth leave hers and when we get there I throw her down gently and she lets loose a wicked little giggle as the sheets billow up around her. I fucking love this girl.

Quick as a flash I strip out of my clothes and she sucks in a breath when she looks at me in all my glory for the very first time. Her cheeks start to burn red as she blushes and I kneel down on the bed in front of her and pull her up to me.

"Don't be shy. Don't be nervous. You are the most incredible, most beautiful woman in the world, and this" I indicate the scant space between us with my free hand "is going to be _amazing_, I promise" she rewards me with a glorious smile and I kiss her again.

I push her gently back down on the bed and her hair fans out on the pillows underneath us, a perfect vision of hazelnut against ivory, fucking angelic and then I take my slow sweet time learning every part of her body.

I kiss my way down her neck and I learn. I learn the places that make her shiver. I learn the places that make her moan. I learn the places that make her gasp. My hands explore her, soft silk underneath skin. Hot, tantalising, delicious skin against my lips. I remove every inch of the sexiest lingerie I've ever seen in my life and leave the shoes on.

My lips kiss their way across the top of her chest, down the valley of her breasts. My tongue wraps around diamond peaked nipples earning sharp breathy gasps. I revel in the moans she makes when I kiss that little spot on her side that makes her shiver underneath my hands and when I run my tongue across her clit she shrieks at me and demands to have me inside of her.

"Damon I can't, too much, please I can't take anymore" she breathes out "I need you _now"_ she whispers. Well fuck. You don't have to tell me twice.

I lift myself back up from the position I've ended up in and press a gentle kiss to her lips, she's so wet and turned on but it's still her first time and I'm not exactly, well I'm way above average let's just leave it at that shall we?

"This might hurt a tiny bit but I promise it'll be worth it" I whisper against her ear and then pull back to make sure she isn't gonna back out because if she does I think I might _die_. I actually have no idea how I've managed to put it off this long. I've been going fucking insane for the last twenty minutes but I want to _worship _this girl so I come last, literally and figuratively.

Elena looks up at me with hazy, lust-filled eyes and she pulls my bottom lip into her mouth "_now_ Damon" she whispers back at me.

I push myself inside of her as gently as I can but she still gasps and flinches just a tiny bit before settling down again "you okay?" I ask softly "god yes" well good enough for me. I press my face into the curve between her neck and shoulder and finally start to move inside her.

As soon as I do I feel like I'm falling. I feel weightless. I feel. God I feel so fucking much. I pull back and look at Elena to see if she feels all the feelings too and she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me down so that my forehead is resting on hers.

"Damon" she whispers and something inside my heart, my soul, fuck knows, something inside of me just bursts wide open and all I know, all I feel, all I've ever known, will ever know, feel, need, love is Elena.

I peel one of her hands away from my neck and tangle our fingers together before pinning our hands to the bed above her head, I raise her leg and she wraps it around my waist and I fucking knew there was a reason I left those shoes one because it feels so damn good when they dig into my skin. Masochistic tendencies and all. I grab Elena's other hand and then I take her to heaven and back. She takes me to heaven and back. Again and again and again.

She's so wet, so fucking tight and it feels fucking insane. I adjust our position so I'm hitting her clit on the downward stroke every time because honestly I don't know how much longer I can last and I need, I _need_ to feel her come around me.

"Damon, Da-m, please" Elena whimpers up at me and I look down into her eyes and fall a little further "what baby, tell me what you need" I know what she needs; I just want to hear her say it.

"Damon, you, I need you, need to come please" she doesn't even blush this time, just looks me deep in the eyes and asks me to make her feel good. My pleasure.

I take one of my hands back from hers and all it takes is one more thrust and a gentle brush of her clit with my thumb and she's falling to pieces around me with a scream.

"Jesus god Damon fuck _Damon"_ I reach down and capture her gasps and shrieks with my mouth and as she reaches the peak of her orgasm I finally let myself go and with one final thrust I bury myself deep inside her and give her everything that I have.

For the first time in a century I lose control of my face and the fangs come out to play as I lose control of every other part of me at the same time so I bury my face back in the space between her neck and shoulder because the last thing I need is to scare her.

"Fucking hell, Elena. 'Lena, 'Lena" I chant her name over and over and over again as the feelings surround me once more and I start to fall and I wonder if gravity even exists anymore or if it only exists for the two of us, suspended in endless moments of time as Elena shudders around me and grips her fingers in my hair and I bring my head back to her forehead.

I don't know how long we stay like that; I'm still semi-hard inside of her, my forehead's still resting against hers, her fingers still tangled in my hair, leg still wrapped firmly around my waist. All I can hear is the breathing. The breathing in and out and I feel so fucking peaceful, calm. I feel fucking _whole_. Eventually I pull my head back when I realise there are tears slipping down her cheeks.

I reach out and wipe them away "hey what's wrong?" I ask her softly but she just shakes her head and closes her eyes.

Okay now I'm officially worried. I pull out of her with a groan and roll over onto the other side before pulling her into me "'Lena what's wrong? Hey look at me, talk to me sweetheart please" I whisper into her skin softly and she opens her eyes again and stares up at me.

"Nothing's _wrong_ Damon. Everything is so _right_ I just...god all the _feeling_ I've never...it was just so _much_" she tells me and I get it now, she got overloaded with all the feelings too.

"Told you it'd be amazing didn't I?" I tease her with a smile and she bats my chest with a playful giggle and then I hold her until she falls asleep.

Best. Unbirthday. Ever.


	19. Chaos & Beauty

**A/N: Such lovely reviews yesterday. Really glad you all enjoyed Elena's birthday. This was one of my favourite chapters to write so I hope you all enjoy this one as well, also I'm really sick so please excuse my possibly bad editing today. **

**Chaos & Beauty**

_She was chaos and beauty intertwined.  
>A tornado of roses from divine<br>– Shakieb Orgunwall_

I wake up in the morning tangled up in Elena and sheets and press feather light kisses into her hair, on her forehead, her eyelids and finally her mouth until she wakes up with a lazy yawn and cat-like stretch. She looks up sleepily and grumbles "five more minutes?" at me before burying her face in my chest. My laugh vibrates through her body and I spend her five more minutes working the tangles out of her morning bed hair.

"Mmm, that feels nice" she mumbles drowsily and I can feel the smile on her face against my chest. I lean down and kiss her head again "come on sleepy-head, time to get up" I say and she lifts her head and looks at me with a devilish smile before pressing a hand firmly on my chest and clambering up on top of me.

"Or, we could do _this_" she whispers against my mouth before launching her own personal attack on my lips. She kisses me for eternity, leftover hints of champagne and chocolate tingling my tongue until eventually she pulls back breathless and jumps off of me.

"Hey" I yelp out when she leaps off of the bed "come back here I want more" I tell her with a grin.

She looks down at her bare legs and feet in confusion and then back at me for answers "I took them off when you fell asleep" I explain as to her lack of stockings and shoes "will you come back now please?"

She tilts her head to one side as if considering the question and then shakes her head with a grin. "Nope. You got your present, now I want mine" she says with a giggle and points at the packages on the dresser. I drop my head back on to the pillow with a groan "you're killing me here Elena" I tease her although it's kinda true. Now that I've had her I don't think I'll ever be able to get enough.

Regardless I jump off of the bed and pull my jeans on and ouch. Probably should have just gone for the boxers really. "You know, compared to my un-birthday presents, yours _suck_" I tell her with a wry smile but I pass her the gifts anyway, she just laughs at me and sits back down on the bed.

"Here" I say chucking her one of my shirts from the drawer "you're never going to get them open if you insist on sitting on my bed naked" she gives me a wicked little smile but puts the shirt on anyway and I groan outwardly again. Didn't make a damn bit of difference, she looks insanely hot wearing nothing but my shirt.

She opens the first gift and studies it intently with wide eyes before turning to me with an incredulous look on her face "Damon this is..." a _very_ rare first-edition copy of Gone with the Wind, cost me a small fucking fortune. "Too much" she finally comes up with the end of her sentence.

"Worth every penny for the look on your face sweetheart" I say and walk over to her and kneel down on the floor in front of her. She gives me a sweet smile and whispers thank you against my ear before I pass her the other one. I'm more concerned about this one than I was the book, I don't know how she'll react but hopefully it'll be fine.

She opens the present and holds the black leather journal in her hands, turning it over and over for a few seconds. It's embossed with her initials; I had it specially made for her and wrote a little note on the inside and everything.

She takes a few deep breaths but doesn't say anything eventually I speak to try and fill the spaces in between.

"Jeremy told me that you uh, that you wanted to be a writer and that before your, before the accident you used to write in a journal every day and that you haven't done it since so I..." I trail off and take the journal from her and open it to the page I wrote in.

_My beautiful Elena, a place for your new beginnings and dreams. Damon x _

I let her read the note lest I make things worse by trying to explain why I bought her the damn thing which I clearly shouldn't have because she bursts into tears and I feel like a complete dick.

"Hey I'm sorry I shouldn't have, I'm really sorry 'Lena" I say quietly and kiss the tears away from her cheeks but she just cries harder and leans her head into my chest. I don't really know what to do here, I'm not generally all that great in these kinds of situations, I tend to just make things worse most of the time.

After a few minutes she starts to calm down so I guess my nonsensical whispering of words had some kind of an impact after all. She pulls away from me and looks me right in the eyes "thank you. Thank you so much, it's so...perfect. God I lo...thank you" huh? What? Why is she crying then? And what the hell was she _going_ to say?

"Elena? Um, are you okay?" I ask dumbly. She looks up at me again and smiles then nods her head although her eyes are still a little watery.

"I'm sorry I wasn't crying because you did anything wrong. You did everything so very right. It was just all a little overwhelming. No one has ever given me something like this before" she waves her hand towards the book and the journal "and you talked to Jeremy and everything and the note and I do. I do want to be a writer but I felt so guilty, I didn't think...I didn't know _how_ to keep going or keep writing but you..." she looks up at me with big wide eyes and presses her hand on my chest above my heart.

"I don't know how to explain it Damon, I don't think I can. You just, you make me _feel_. You are..." she trails off and I pull her into my arms and hold her and after a few seconds she whispers oh-so-quietly against my skin "_everything_. You are everything". I don't think she meant for me to hear her so I don't respond and we just sit quietly for a long time after that, wrapped in each other's arms.

Eventually she pulls away and stands up "we need to get back to the house. John will probably start to worry if I don't show my face soon" she says with a smile. I jump to my feet and grab her wrist and pull her back towards me to give her a searing kiss which she responds to instantly.

She pushes herself up on her feet and presses her half naked body into me and I slip my hands underneath the shirt and run them up and down her sides and she moans into my mouth before tearing herself away.

"Ah-ah" she says with a grin and waves her finger at me "I have to get _home_" she giggles and twirls away from me picking up clothes and shoes as she goes. When she gets to the bedroom door she turns around with a grin "later"

"Later" I promise her and grab my shirt before following her out of the door with a smile on my face.

When we get to her house I know we're in trouble as soon as she opens the front door. _Big_ trouble. Blood. There is an overwhelming amount of blood in this house. I grab Elena and push her to the side and press a finger to her lips to warn her not to speak while I listen but I hear nothing in the house. No heartbeats. No voice. Just utter stillness. It's a fucking horrible thought but I pray to god it's not Jeremy.

"Elena I need you to take my hand and close your eyes okay? _Don't_ open your eyes. No matter what" I speak lowly to try and avoid alarming her. I wouldn't take her with me but I don't have any other choice. I can't leave her alone here to go and see what happened because I don't know who did this and if it was a vampire which, let's face it, it probably was, then that means that they've been invited inside and I can't leave Elena unattended.

I take her hand and lead her through to the kitchen where the smell is mostly concentrated. John. Ah Jesus. John is very, very dead on the kitchen floor. There is blood everywhere. Splattered all over the fucking place. Fridge, counters, knives. His hand has been severed, the one that had the Gilbert ring on it so if we didn't know before then we do now, definitely a vampire. Bite marks in his neck confirm it but someone took a great deal of pleasure in tormenting the fuck out of poor Uncle John. He has been _butchered_. So much fucking blood.

And then a blood-curling scream. Damn stubborn Gilbert opened her fucking eyes. She tries to tear her hand away from me but I don't let go because I know she's only going to try and run out of the door and I can't let her do that. Instead I pull her into my arms and blur quickly out of the kitchen. I need reinforcements. I call Bonnie.

"Damon? Is everything okay?" she asks when she answers. Elena is sitting on the stairs staring blankly into space, she's pale as fuck but tinged with green like she's about to vomit.

"Yes it's me and no everything is very much _not_ okay. I need you to get to Elena's house like, ten minutes ago" Elena suddenly jerks her head up and her eyes start to dart wildly all over the place.

"I'm on my way" Bonnie replies without asking why or what's going on and hangs up on me, good girl to have in a crisis then I suppose.

Elena tries to stand up but her legs don't seem to want to support her and she sinks back down to the stairs again.

"Elena, sweetheart I'm really sorry about John but I promise you I will take care of this" I say without coming too close to her because I really don't need to spook her right now. I watch her shake herself off and stand up again and then she takes off flying up the stairs.

"Fuck!" I chase after her and nearly crash into her as she stands in the entrance to her brother's room.

"Jeremy!" she screams and turns to me "Where is Jeremy? Where is he where is he where is he?" she darts past me and runs through the top of the house screaming her head off for her brother. After a second I catch her and wrap my arms around her tightly from behind. Her hands come up and claw furiously at my arms and she's shrieking and sobbing uncontrollably, shaking and struggling to breathe with Jeremy's name tumbling out of her mouth every few seconds.

"Elena, 'Lena" I whisper into her ear as she attacks me "I need you to calm down baby, Jeremy's not here, he's not in the house sweetheart. We can call him, we'll find him but I need you to calm down 'Lena please"

"Damon?" oh thank god Bonnie's arrived.

"Up here. Quickly" I shout down to her and turn around with Elena still in my arms so she can see her best friend as she comes up the stairs.

"Look Elena, Bonnie's here and she's going to _call_ Jeremy right now" I raise my eyebrows at Bonnie and she yanks her phone out of her pocket to make the call "and everything is going to be _fine_ I _promise_ you" I continue whispering into Elena's ear and please, please let everything be fine. This is one promise that I cannot break.

"Jeremy? Where are you?" oh thank fuck. I release on of my arms from around Elena and hold my hand out for the phone which Bonnie passes to me wordlessly.

"Jer where are you?" I ask the same question and hold the phone to Elena's ear so she can hear her brother for herself "I stayed at Tyler's house last night. Damon what's wrong? Is it Elena?" Elena lets out a sob of relief and I release my other arm and let Bonnie catch her while I talk to her brother.

The girls sink to the floor as Bonnie whispers soothing words to Elena and I slide down the wall to sit on the floor across from them in relief.

"Elena's fine Jeremy, well she'll be okay. I need you to stay exactly where you are. Do not leave the house and do not under any circumstances allow Tyler to invite anyone into the house. Anyone. Not even me. I'm going to come and get you, right now. Do you understand me?" I ask him and he lets out a shaky laugh.

"Not exactly no but yeah I get it. Stay here; don't let anyone in the house. You're coming to get me" he repeats my instructions back to me as if I had compelled him which I might actually have to do come to think of it. Never mind that can be a problem for later.

"Good. Text the address to me right now, I'll be there in ten minutes" I tell him and hang up the phone before turning to Bonnie and Elena.

"Bonnie I need you to stay here until I get back with Jeremy. Elena's going to have to come with me and for the love of all that is holy do not go in the damn kitchen" Elena lets loose another little choked sob at my words which, yeah I probably should have thought through first but it's too late now. Bonnie looks confused as all hell but nods and agrees anyone. Let's just hope someone listens to my advice today.

I stand up and pick Elena up in my arms and carry her out to the car. She still hasn't actually said a word but the crying has significantly lessened and her pounding heart has begun to slow down a bit so that can only be a good thing. What a fucking nightmare.

"We're going to get Jeremy now baby" I tell her as I start driving. As it turns out Tyler is the Mayor's kid so I already knew where he lived anyway. Elena doesn't respond but when I reach out and take her hand she gives me a little squeeze so she's definitely still in there somewhere.

When we arrive at the house I call Little Gilbert and tell him to come outside, to run as fast as he can for the car and get the hell in and he does. Throws himself into the back seat and slams the door.

"Easy, easy on the doors kid" I say with a half-hearted grin and then gun it back to the Gilbert house. When we get there I have a momentary freak-out over how I'm going to get us all inside the house quickly and without danger and then realise I can't do it so I tell Jeremy to run inside and avoid the kitchen and then I blur around and carry Elena back inside.

This is really not the safest place to be right now, whoever killed John has an open invite which means they could come back at any time but at least inside the house I have more access to make-shift weapons. It's a smaller space and I am exceptionally efficient at fighting in closed quarters, also I happen to have a witch on my side. Plus I have to deal with John's body and the mess in the kitchen somehow.

All of this and it's only half past eleven in the fucking morning. How did this shit happen?

"Okay Damon can you" "Does someone wanna explain what the hell?" Jeremy and Bonnie both start speaking the second I walk into the house with Elena "let's go upstairs" I say and lead the way to Elena's room where I sit her down on the bed.

"Elena sweetheart?" I kneel down in front of her and stroke the hair back off of her face and tilt her chin up so she's looking at me "can you talk to me please? Or talk to Jer or Bonnie?" anyone will do really, just please say something. She nods at me and then just stands up and walks away through to the bathroom and locks the door.

Well.

I turn to Bonnie and Jeremy who are both sporting nearly identical bemused looks and eyes that dart wildly between me and the bathroom door.

"Damon, what the hell?" Jeremy demands answers again and I close my eyes for a second. I don't know what Elena wants me to do here. I don't know if she wants her brother to know about the vampires and the witches and the fucking unicorns or "Damon tell him" her voice comes so quietly from behind the door that I'm fairly sure I'm the only person who heard it "tell him everything" and then she throws up.

I should be with her. I should go to her. I want to help her. But I have to do what she wants me to do and what she wants me to do is talk to her brother. So I do.

"Jeremy your uncle John is dead. I'm sorry" I start with the thing that is probably gonna be the hardest to hear. His face goes pale and both he and Bonnie inhale sharp little gasps.

"No man, John's...I saw him last night Damon he's...the _kitchen_?" Jeremy obviously connects the dots with what I told him about not going into the kitchen and seems to accept that John is in fact dead. He wanders over to the bed and sits down on the edge, fists bunching up the covers underneath him.

"Who killed him?" he demands in a tone full of anger and rage.

"I don't know yet. Listen Jer, there's some other stuff you need to know kid. I'm a vampire" god am I ever going to _not_ have to have this conversation? Seems like all I've done recently is say 'I'm a vampire'.

"You're a what now?" he asks looking up at me with what can only be described as, quite frankly, morbid curiosity.

"I'm a vampire. I have a vampire brother. I was turned in 1864 by a vampire who looks uncannily like your sister for reasons that are as yet unknown. Bonnie over there is a witch. Your sister is in danger from a vampire, or vampires as yet unknown. Whoever it is, they come from the oldest family of vampires known as the Originals and one or more of them is in some way connected to Elena. We need to find a magical dagger, whereabouts as yet unknown that will kill the Original. Uh...I feel like I'm missing something here. Bonnie?"

I turn to Bonnie to see if she can elaborate any but she just shakes her head. I think she's still in shock from my download of information which she already knows all of but I suppose it was quite a fast explanation. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of time and I've always been more of a 'rip off the proverbial band-aid' type of guy anyway.

Jeremy stands up and comes to stand in front of me and studies me intently before punching me in the face.

"This is _your_ fault. You just turn up in town and all of a sudden there are _vampires_ after my _sister_? I'm guessing you're gonna tell me that a vampire killed my uncle too huh? What the fuck is wrong with you?" he shouts at me and punches me in the face again and I let him.

As he swings his fist to punch me the third time Elena picks this opportune moment to come out of the bathroom and he swings around to face her instead.

"Elena have you gone fucking _insane_? What the hell? You're dating a goddamn _vampire_? You _invite_ him into our _house_, into our _lives_? What the fuck is wrong with _you_? What the fuck is wrong with _both _of you?" he screams at her.

I grab him quickly and push him against the wall, holding him there by the shoulders while Elena shouts at me to let him go but I just wave her away with my hand.

"You do not speak to your sister like that. I get that you're angry. You have every right to be angry, you be as pissed off as you fucking want kid. You wanna punch me you go right ahead. You wanna fight something, yell, scream, kick you do it to _me_ and I'll let you but don't think for one _second_ that you can speak to her like that and get away with it. Are we clear?"

I continue to hold him against the wall and let him calm himself down "yeah. Yeah we're clear" he finally says and I let him go and turn to Elena "you three need to come downstairs and sit in the living room while I sort everything out okay?" I ask her gently and hold my hand out to her. Hopefully she's not too pissed at me for laying into her little brother.

She takes my hand and we all go down stairs together and I deposit the three of them on the couch facing away from the kitchen.

"You forgot about the dreams" Elena says looking up at me with a reproachful smile.

"I didn't forget 'Lena. Just figured you'd want to share the magical details" I flash her half a grin and leave them to discuss everything while I clean up the mess.


	20. Drain You

**A/N: So sorry for the delay, I've been really unwell and I refuse to post something that isn't edited properly because I'd just be letting us all down. Having said that I'm still not completely better so hopefully you'll forgive me for any mistakes I may have missed, hope you all enjoy the chapter. And thank you to the guests who have left me lovely reviews over the last couple of days. **

**Drain You**

_It is now my duty to completely drain you – Kurt Cobain_

It takes me a couple hours to deal with all the blood, death and destruction in the kitchen. I take the Gilbert ring to give to Jeremy so that at least he'll have some protection. I'd give it to Elena but she has me and she wouldn't take it anyway. Then I wrap John's body up in blankets I found, I'll compel a grave digger at the cemetery to put him in the Gilbert family plot later on today but first I have to get the little gang back to Casa Salvatore.

When I walk back through to the living room everyone seems to have calmed down plenty in the time I've been gone. I didn't listen to much of their conversation because I had other things on my mind and what I did hear was mostly just a rehash of everything we already know which as Jeremy astutely pointed out an one point is "basically sweet fuck all". Kid knows what he's talking about and it's beginning to drive me _nuts_, all the not knowing.

Jeremy stands up when I come into the room and when he walks over to me I prepare myself to be punched again, not like it really hurts that much to be fair. Kid could probably use some training, if he ever forgives me for fucking up his sister's life that is.

"Damon I'm sorry" he says holding his hand out to me, well I didn't expect that. I shake his hand and throw a confused look to Elena but she just smiles at me "I shouldn't have said what I said. None of this is your fault, I know that. I was just...angry. Sorry for punching you man, twice" I clap him on the shoulder a couple of times and then just decide to make a fool of myself and pull him into me for a somewhat manly hug.

"It's fine kid I get it. Hell I wrote the fucking book on getting angry and punching people" I say with a grin and pull back to study his face "we gonna be cool? I don't need to compel you do I?"'cause honestly that would kinda suck.

"Nah we're cool. No compulsion necessary" he replies with a grin "did you apologise to your sister?" I ask him with a stern look "yeah, we're cool too" he replies.

"Good. Then you get to come" I say and walk towards Elena who stands and greets me with a small smile, she seems a little better now.

"Where are we going?" she asks me in confusion.

"Pack your bags folks, you're coming to live with me" I tell both her and Jeremy before shooting Bonnie a look and she disappears upstairs with Jeremy to watch over him and help pack his stuff up and I pull Elena down to the couch beside me.

"Are you okay?" I ask her studying her face intently. She nods a little at me "yeah I guess so. I don't think I'll ever be able to un-see that. John, god poor John. Damon who would do this? How did they get in the house?" she asks me sadly.

That is one of the many questions that have been running through my mind over the last couple of hours. Who? John was very aware of vampires. He was a member of the Mystic Falls council, secret society, whatever. Somewhat of a vampire hunter and he definitely wouldn't invite a stranger into his house so it _had_ to be either someone he knew and trusted enough to let inside, or, _or_, it was someone who had already been invited.

And the thought sickens me to my very core but the only other vampire who has been invited inside this house is _Stefan. _

"I don't know 'Lena but I promise you I'll find out okay?"I can't tell her that I'm considering my brother as a somewhat likely suspect, she's obviously not put it together for herself yet so I definitely don't want to put the idea in her head before I know for sure.

This is absolutely not something I can see Stefan doing, and the mess in the kitchen wasn't really his style, so to speak. He's got a bit of a special signature, my whacked brother and there were no ripped off heads in sight, but in lieu of any other options...I just don't know.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you Damon" Elena says reaching out and touching my arms gently which makes me laugh a little "vampire baby, we heal quickly but you didn't hurt me don't worry" I assure her and drop a kiss to her forehead.

"Come on" I say standing up and pulling her up beside me "let's go pack your bags" and I pull her along behind me up the stairs.

"Jer and I, we're really moving in with you?" she asks as she trails along behind me and I turn and flash her a grin "you got somewhere better to go?" I ask her. She pretends to think about it for a second and then shakes her head and gives me a little smile tinged with a whole lotta sadness. Poor fucking girl, poor Jeremy. At least they have each other, and me, for whatever that's worth.

Elena packs her bags and when she's done we all congregate at the bottom of the stairs "I'll have someone bury the body later and we can go by the cemetery tomorrow so you can say your goodbyes okay?" I tell them my plans for John and get grateful looks in return.

"Man you know, we didn't really know John all that well before he came to look after us after, after mom and dad died. We never saw him much growing up but he was still, still family and he didn't deserve this" Jeremy says quietly and his eyes fill up a little bit and he turns away from us to shake himself off but Elena goes and hugs him and I take a minute to speak to Bonnie.

"Thank you for everything you've done today Sabrina" I say to her with a smile, she really has been incredibly useful in this awful situation.

"That's okay Damon. Elena is my best friend, I love her and I'll do anything to protect her and Jeremy, well you know, I've known him my whole life and..." I get the impression from the blood rushing to Bonnie's cheeks that there _might_ be a little something going on there but I think I'll leave those two to sort it out.

"Yeah well still it's good to know I can call you in a crisis. Any news on the dream front? Dagger front? Any sort of news on any sort of front whatsoever?" I ask and Bonnie shakes her head at me in a frustrated manner.

"No nothing yet sorry Damon" yeah well, it's been that kind of a day.

"Hey dude can I bring the x-box?" I turn and roll my eyes "yes Jeremy, you can bring the x-box. How else am I gonna whip your ass at Halo?" Elena groans and Bonnie laughs, Jeremy grabs the console and we leave the Gilbert house behind.

Bonnie heads off home and I drive Elena and Jer back to the house and carry their bags inside for them. As soon as I get in I drop them. Something is very wrong. Again.

There is an Elena look-alike sitting on my couch. _Katherine_. She's just sitting on my couch looking perfectly nonchalant, studying her nails as if she has nothing better to do with her time. Which is probably true to be fair. I don't know what to do. I can't leave Elena and Jeremy unprotected, should have fucking brought Bonnie with me.

Elena crashes right into my back as she walks into the hall and gasps when she sees Katherine. I reach into my pocket and chuck Jeremy the Gilbert ring "put this on. Right fucking _now_" and then I push them both behind me while Katherine huffs at me.

"Katherine. What an _unpleasant _surprise. Why are you in my house?" and how the fuck do I get you to leave it?

She pushes herself lazily up off of the couch and saunters towards me with her sultry, sexy, predator walk in full working glory before coming to a stop in front of me. "Hello _lover_" she reaches out and drags her nails down the side of my face none to gently and I have to physically restrain myself from flinching away from her.

"What do you _want_ Katherine?" I demand, god I need to get her out of here. She peers around my shoulder to try and get a look at Elena and when she moves, I move. She tries to go the other way and I'm right fucking there and we play a little game of back and forth for a couple of minutes until she huffs at me and takes a couple of steps away from me.

"You used to be so much more _fun_ Damon. I'm here for Stefan" she says with a shrug as if it's the most obvious piece of news she's ever shared. Probably is.

"Stefan's not here right now please call back later" she flashes me a sly little grin and twists her head to the side to look at the stairs. The stairs that my brother is walking down. Where the _fuck_ did he come from? I take a step backwards and the little Gilbert chain behind me step back until they hit the wall.

"Ouch" Elena mutters from behind me "sorry" Jeremy mumbles back under his breath "damn x-box" Elena whispers. God this would be a highly comedic moment if it weren't so fucking _stressful_.

"Stefan what the fuck is going on? Where have you been? Why is Katherine here? Will someone _please_ just give me a straight answer for once in their goddamn lives?" I half shout at him even though I know he probably can't, she probably can't give me a straight answer, fucking compulsion that they're both more than likely under.

"I just stopped by to pick some things up Damon. Katherine and I are in Mystic Falls to protect Elena, we're staying in town" Stefan shoots me a helpless look and I do not like this one little bit.

"Are you taking the vervain Stefan?" I ask him because please, please let him have at least an ounce of common sense. "Yeah we both are" he replies nodding his head towards Katherine.

As they turn to leave I call out after my brother although frankly I'm scared of both the question and its possible answer.

"Stefan. Did you kill John Gilbert?" Elena gasps behind me as she finally puts the pieces together that I did a few hours ago but my brother just shakes his head a little sadly.

Katherine turns and walks back over to us trying to get to Elena again but I don't let her. Buried somewhere underneath the coldness and detachment in her eyes there's the smallest hint of remorse and she flashes me a mildly apologetic look.

"I did. I killed him" she says and then they're gone.

As soon as they leave I release the breath I've been holding and turn around before pulling both Elena and Jeremy into my arms. Elena sobs quietly into my shoulder and I press soft kisses into her hair and get an x-box in my ribs from Jeremy but he just stands there with an arm around his sister and a fierce fiery determination in his eyes that clearly runs in the family because I recognise it every day in Elena's.

After a few minutes I clear my throat and pull away "listen, there's a couple things we need to get sorted out _right_ now and then we can talk this out okay?" I direct my question at both of them and they nod "good, come with me" I direct them to the den and when they sit down I make a quick phone call to a personal friend of mine and tell him to get to my house, quick-sharp.

I pull out the deed to my house from the safe and pass it to Elena "what is this?" she asks looking at the stack of paper with a confused frown "deed to my house" I reply simply.

"You're giving her your _house_?" Jeremy shrieks at me "that's the plan Stan, I have a lawyer on his way right now and when he gets here, Elena you'll sign the papers and the house will belong to you. No vampires will be able to enter that you don't personally invite in. Safest safe house ever" I explain and I have to say I think this is quite possibly _the_ most ingenious idea I've ever come up with. There really is no better way to protect Elena, Jeremy, myself, everyone.

"What about Stefan?" Jeremy asks looking up at me from the papers he's studying over Elena's shoulder "what about him?" I shrug my shoulders "brother doesn't own the house I do therefore it's up to me to decide what I want to do with it" I turn to Elena "lawyer's here let's go downstairs" then the doorbell rings right on cue and Jeremy stares at me as if I just performed a magic trick that blew his mind. "That is so cool. Kinda creepy, but cool" he says with a nod and I smirk at him.

We head downstairs and before I go outside to wait for Elena to take ownership of the house I pull her into the hall because she hasn't actually _agreed _to take ownership of said house yet and it's kinda important that she does.

"Hey, you okay with this? It's the best way Elena" I say and she looks up at me with big wide eyes "it's just so much Damon. So much has happened and I feel like I'm spinning in circles and now you're just _giving _me your house and I feel like such a burden. This isn't your life Damon, trying to protect me, looking after me and Jer, cooking dinners for my friends; I mean...this isn't who you are Damon and you should be out enjoying your life not..._stuck_ here with _me_" she says sadly.

Wow. Girl does not have a fucking _clue_ how I feel about her does she? Which is hardly surprising since I haven't exactly _told_ her, not in so many words anyway but I thought I made it pretty fucking obvious last night. Still, as much as I'd love to tell her that I worship the ground she walks on and will love her every single day for the rest of eternity I don't really wanna do it with an audience.

"Elena" I begin and tilt her chin up so she's looking at me again "you, me, this, us, Jeremy, all of this. None of this is a _burden_. This is who I am not, this is my life because _you_ are my life and there is _nowhere_ else I want to be" her eyes light up like all her Christmases came at once and I press a gentle kiss to her lips.

"Now I need you to sign for the house okay? So go talk to Mr. Jackson" I tell her and she nods and agrees and I go outside to wait while she signs for the house. Would probably _suck _to be a vampire trapped inside a house that you haven't been invited into. Elena and Jeremy walk the lawyer to the door and after I thank him for his time I try to walk into my house and forget that I can't which causes Elena and Jeremy to fall about laughing.

"Yeah yeah you think it's funny now wait till you guys are the ones that have to clean the damn place then we'll see if you invite me inside" I say with a mock-glare.

"Elena baby, let me in the house please" I employ my very best puppy dog eyes and she giggles at me while Jeremy groans and rolls his eyes.

"Damon would you like to come inside my house?" boy would I ever! I walk in and grab her around the waist and carry her through to the living room while she shrieks at me and bats her fists ineffectually against my back.

"Well this is gonna be _fun_" Jeremy grumbles in a light-hearted tone as he trails along behind us. I deposit Elena on the couch and pour myself a glass of bourbon "okay Gilberts, welcome to your new home. House Rules: don't invite anybody inside" I tilt my head and consider whether or not I have any other rules "nope that's pretty much it. Who wants pizza for dinner?" I ask with a grin.

They both agree and I order out this time because I absolutely cannot be bothered cooking pizza from scratch again after the day that we've had, I am fucking exhausted and I've still got shit to do. While we're waiting Jeremy sets up the x-box in the day and when he comes back I gesture to his bags in the hall "pick a room Little Gilbert, there are six to choose from although you _might_ wanna avoid the left side of the house" I say with a wicked glance at Elena.

"Dude gross, that's my _sister_" he complains and punches me lightly on the arm as he goes to pick up his bags.

"What? I didn't say anything, get your mind out of the gutter Gilbert" Elena comes up and wraps her arm around my waist "stop teasing him Damon" she says with a grin. When Jeremy leaves the room I turn to her "as for you, I'm hoping you're planning on picking up those bags and taking them directly to my room" she reaches up and kisses me "oh yeah" she breathes against my mouth before taking off upstairs with her bags leaving me behind with a smile on my face.

Over pizza we recap the things we know and the things we don't. Jeremy asks me about the ring I tossed him and I explain that it was spelled by Emily Bennett and passed down through the Gilbert generations protecting them from death by supernatural creature.

"Didn't do much good for Uncle John did it?" Elena remarks placidly "well, no but I figure that's because Katherine knew about the ring. Most anyone else would just assume it's a big, well, tacky ring. No offence. And it's still better than nothing" I point out.

We move on to other topics of conversation, daggers, dreams, Jeremy asks some questions about being a vampire and I fill him in on some of my history. Eventually the conversation comes back around to Katherine.

"How do you think she got into the house? And why did she kill John?" Jeremy asks looking over at me.

"Well I think the most likely scenario is that she pretended to be Elena and somehow managed to finagle herself a formal invitation and I think she killed him because she was compelled to kill him. I don't know why or by whom because again, we don't know these things...Katherine might be a stone-cold bitch but she's not _completely_ heartless. She wouldn't just kill him for the sake of killing him and today she looked mildly apologetic so I think it's reasonable to assume that it's compulsion"

Elena and Jeremy both look satisfied with my response and after another little while of talking Elena says she wants to take a bath and I really need to get started on cleaning the mess left over in my house from last night's party which feels like it happened a hundred years ago.

"You can help me" I tell Jeremy with an evil grin.

As soon as Elena stands up from the couch there's a knock on the front door and we all look at each other in abject confusion. Nope, definitely not expecting anyone, I rush over and pull the door open.

"Blondie! Come to help the clean up committee?" I ask when I find Caroline at the front door.

"Damon?" she peers behind me to look at Elena who has come to join me "Elena. I think I need help" needs help with what? She takes a step forward and hits the invisible barrier.

Fucking. Hell. This cannot be happening.

Will this day never end?

.


	21. So Much For My Happy Ending

**A/N: You guys are all so lovely, I am feeling quite a lot better now thank you. I have taken some liberties with the transition/vampirism traits in this story so I just wanted to point out that everything that's 'wrong' in this chapter is all intentional. **

**So Much For My Happy Ending**

_My entire personality is killing me – Caroline Forbes_

"Caroline" Elena gasps out from behind me. Poor girl just wanted to take a damn bath and now her best friend is a vampire. This is fucking crazy.

"Elena, why can't I get in the house?" Caroline asks in a scared voice as she attacks the invisible blockade ineffectually.

"Caroline, co-"

"Wait goddamit Elena" I shout at her before she can finish her sentence. I turn to face her "I'm sorry just, give me a minute to _think_ okay?" she nods back at me mutely and I turn back to face Blondie.

"Caroline, what _exactly_ happened?" in minute detail please.

"Well uh" Caroline starts and stops a couple of times and then finally gets on with it "Elena put me in the taxi last night and I went home but then she came to my house. Or at least I _thought_ it was Elena so I invited you, her inside and then...ohmygodohmygodohmy_god _I'm _dead_! Damon she _killed_ me"

Caroline starts laughing her head off, bending over at the waist and clutching her stomach in peals of laughter. Fuckin' newbie vamps.

"Oh god that's _the_ most" laughter "ridiculous thing that has _ever_" laughter "come out of my mouth" laughter "I can't be _dead_" she looks up and the laughter turns to confusion and dry sobs "I'm standing right here. I'm talking to you. I can't be dead. I'm not dead" she looks up at me with a desperate plea in her eyes "right?"

I take a deep breath, close my eyes, count to ten; "yeah _'bout_ that"

"Damon we have to help her" Elena speaks up from behind me.

"Just a second Elena, Caroline what did Katherine say to you before she...what did she say?" I ask because I can't let her in until I know whether she's in transition or whether she's fully vamped.

"She told me to wait until the sun set and then come directly to you, her eyes went kind of funny like when she told me what to do" well that's something for the plus column I suppose.

"Okay Elena, do the honours" I say with a roll of my eyes.

"Caroline please come inside"

Who knew that vampires could get migraines? I head directly for my drinks cabinet and pull out one of my most expensive bottles of bourbon before proceeding to pour a glass for everyone, even Little Gilbert; I think we could all use a fucking drink right now.

Caroline takes a seat beside Jeremy and then turns to look at him like he's the biggest, tastiest burger she's ever laid eyes on in her life "yeah, Jer you might wanna move kid" I tell him and he jumps up off of the couch and comes over to sit beside me and Elena.

"What's wrong with me? What's happening to me Elena? I'm so _hungry_" Caroline asks looking at us desperately for answers.

I rub my forehead with my fingers and get ready to say the words 'I'm a vampire' for the second time today but Elena beats me to the punch.

"Caroline Damon is a vampire" Caroline flinches back in her seat and Elena stands up and goes to kneel down in front of her friend. I'm not entirely comfortable with that but it's her best friend and I can have her out of the way in less than a second if Blondie decides to snack on her.

"It's okay; I promise he won't hurt you. Katherine, she's a vampire too, she turned Damon and Stefan a long time ago and well, um..." Elena turns to look at me for help in explaining the next part.

"Yeah Katherine got really fucking busy last night didn't she? Way to come back to town with a bang" I say dryly "Caroline listen, Katherine killed you. You're in transition so you have a choice to make. You either complete the transition and become a vampire or you don't"

Jeremy punches me in the arm "way to give the girl a heart attack man" and I raise my hands in a 'what can I do' gesture.

"She's already dead kid, and to top it off she's quick running out of time to decide what to do" Elena turns and glares at me but again, what the hell can I do? If she completes the transition then I'll help her, teach her how to control herself and whatnot though god _knows_ I do not have time for this shit right now but other than that I can only provide the brutal facts and the facts are that she's dead and about to flick the vamp switch on life or she's not.

"What happens if I don't complete the transition? How do you transition?" Caroline asks getting somewhat hysterical again and Elena reaches up and takes her friends' hand.

"You have to complete the transition Care if you don't then you'll die and you can't die Caroline I won't let you. Damon will help you. I will help you I promise but you have to Caroline please" Elena begs her friend to complete the transition and I prepare myself for another house guest. Possibly cellar guest, depending on how she takes to vampirism, should be a fun ride.

Blondie nods at Elena with tears in her eyes "I don't wanna die Elena please help me" she says and Elena smiles up at her friend and reaches out to hug her but I pull her back instantly "yeah let's not tempt her with your blood sweetheart" I say with a small smile.

"Little Gilbert run down to the basement and grab a blood bag would ya?" I get Jeremy to help me because the kids a bit like me, needs to have a fucking purpose in life. You know I came back to this town with _one_ purpose, that I wasn't even all that confident in and now, a few months later I've landed myself about a hundred bloody purposes.

I meant every word I said to Elena though; I wouldn't change it for the world. This is my life now and yeah it'd be nice if it were a bit more fucking peaceful but it is what it is and if I get to be with Elena then I'll take an eternity of problems and it'll be fucking worth it.

Jeremy comes running back with the blood bag and I pour it into a glass for Blondie, nothing wrong with being a civilised vampire.

"Here" I pass her the glass but keep my hand on it to stop her from drinking it just yet "drink it _slowly_. I know it's hard it'll be the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life because there is nothing that your body craves more than what's in this glass but if you're going to handle this then you have to start right. So please, for me, and my sanity, _sip_ it"

I give her instructions and let go of the glass and to her credit and my absolute relief she downs half of it in one go and then starts to sip. Poor girl looks utterly terrified and it's only gonna get worse. She starts to shriek her head off when the fangs pierce through her gums and then she drops the glass in her hand sending blood splattering all over Elena which is just, _great_.

"Elena, go upstairs and take your bath sweetheart, I'll look after Caroline don't worry" I tell her and take a seat beside Blondie who is now screaming in pain with big fat tears rolling down her cheeks. Elena takes off upstairs and Jeremy looks completely lost "Jer go get some more blood for Caroline, bring two bags up please and then get some fucking rest. It's a brand new day tomorrow" and then I turn to Caroline and push the hair back off of her forehead.

"Hey, hey I know it hurts but you're okay. You're gonna be fine I promise. Look at me; I am going to help you. It only hurts the first time and it'll be over soon. Just concentrate on me, look at me, breathe it out" I sit and work Caroline through her pain and when it subsides I give her a new glass of blood and take one for myself and we practice control for an hour or so until eventually she drains it all and I take her down to the cellar.

"It's not exactly the Ritz but I need to sleep, desperately and I can't let you stay up there with Jer and Elena in the house when you're only two hours old so you're gonna have to stay down here, at least for tonight. I'm really sorry that this happened to you Blondie, I'll come down and get you first thing in the morning and we'll work on the control and practice being around living folks so you can get out of here okay?" I let her into the cellar, at least there's a camp bed for her to sleep on, blankets and stuff but I still feel like a dick when I pull the lock shut.

"Damon?" she calls me back when I've closed the door "yep"

"Thank you for...everything" she says quietly.

"No problem Blondie" I reply with a sigh and head back upstairs to have another glass of bourbon before heading up to the bedroom. Figure Elena's probably sleeping by now and for a change I am deathly tired. This day has gone on for way too long and way too much has happened. If I can just get one decent night's sleep then hopefully whatever tomorrow brings will be easier.

To my surprise I find Elena sitting up in bed writing in her new journal when I walk into the bedroom. This morning, I gave her that this morning. I cannot begin to tell you how long ago that feels. "Hey" she says softly with a smile when she looks up at me "hey back" I peel off my clothes quickly and hop into beside her and she puts the journal down on the bedside table before scooting closer to me.

"How is she?" she asks and starts running her fingers through my hair, I lean my head back against her hand "she's surprisingly well controlled for a baby-vamp. I had to lock her in the cellar though, I can't trust that she won't flip out during the night and I need to sleep Elena" she leans down and presses a kiss to my forehead "hey I know, you've been amazing today, you've been amazing _every_ day, thank you Damon" she says and drops another kiss to my head before resuming her work in my hair.

"How are you even still awake?" I groan and then moan softly when Elena's fingers tug gently and her nails run along my scalp; feels so fucking good. "I was waiting for you" she replies quietly.

I open my eyes to look at her because I know it's been a hell of a bad day for her too "you gonna be okay?" I ask her "mmm, yeah I'll be fine. I just didn't want to go to sleep until I knew you were okay" she says and I lean over and give her a sleepy kiss.

"I'm fine and I think Blondie's gonna be fine too so don't worry too much about her. Let's get some rest baby" Elena reaches over and switches off the bedside light and then curls herself around me and blissful sleep finds me in seconds.

I wake up around eight in the morning and I feel incredibly well rested, it just goes to show what a night of sleep wrapped around Elena can do for a man. Speaking of Elena, she is not in our bed; she's nowhere to be seen in fact.

I listen to the sounds of the house for a minute and figure out that she's downstairs outside the cellar door talking to Blondie so I lie back down and give myself five more minutes of rest before getting up to face whatever today plans to throw at us.

Elena wanders into the room a little while later, apparently I fell back asleep again because it's now almost nine and I feel like shit for leaving Caroline down there without any blood or anything. Elena climbs up on to the bed and hands me a mug "good morning" she says sweetly and plants a little kiss on me. Girl brought me breakfast in a cup, blood and coffee just the way I like it. I'm pretty convinced she's a saint. "Thank you" I reply before taking a drink.

"I gave Care some too, I hope that's okay but I felt really bad for her and I wanted to let you sleep so I just poured some into the coffee and she promised to sip it" Elena bites her bottom lip anxiously as she tells me that she helped her friend and it's all kindsa cute. I reach out and pull her lip away from her teeth and run my thumb along it softly "that's good I was just feeling like shit for leaving her down there without any anyway" I tell her and she gives me a big smile.

"Let me drink this and then we'll go get on with everything" I say with a grin "can I let Care out now?" she asks me and jumps off of the bed excitedly.

"Yeah go on then just mind your neck" I tease her, I'm sure Blondie won't hurt Elena and I'd be there in less than a second regardless. Elena bounds off to free her friend and I drink my breakfast in a hurry before taking a quick shower and getting dressed.

When I get downstairs the two Gilberts and Blondie are in the kitchen. Caroline is still drinking from the same mug that Elena gave her an hour or so ago and she raises it towards me in self-congratulations "good, very good Blondie, keep it up". Elena is burning toast and Little Gilbert appears to be attempting to electrocute himself with the plug of the coffee machine.

"Seriously, did your parents teach you nothing?" fuck me. Why the holy hell would I say that? I cover my face with my hand and raise my eyebrows at myself as Jeremy and Elena turn to face me, me and my big damn mouth.

"I am so fucking sorry. I didn't...I wasn't thinking" I say looking back and forth between them.

Jeremy suddenly snorts and Elena starts giggling and then Blondie joins in the laughter as well and within minutes all three of them are laughing their asses off. I am just standing in the middle of the kitchen madly confused. Eventually Elena calms down enough to speak.

"Damon honestly it's _fine_, people say that sort of thing all the time. God if we took offence every time someone mentioned parents then we'd never leave the house, it's fine, don't worry" she says with a smile.

"Yeah man it's totally cool, besides you're kinda right, our parents didn't really teach us much" Jeremy and Elena share a look that sets off another round of laughter and I'm just grateful not to be in the dog-house. I guess if you don't laugh then you'll cry and laughter is definitely the better medicine in life. Decreases frown-lines and everything, someone should probably tell my brother.

"Okay then well how about before you guys destroy the kitchen you let me take over. I'll cook breakfast" I take the plug from Jeremy and turn the coffee machine back on "why'd you take it out in the first place? Elena already made coffee, see she can do something useful" I say nudging Jeremy in the side with my elbow "I didn't _mean_ to take it out. It was an...accident" sure it was, I believe ya' Little Gilbert.

I turn and direct Elena to a seat and proceed to make stacks of pancakes and bacon and eggs for everyone and someone manage to get through breakfast without saying anything else monumentally idiotic.

When we finish eating I tell Elena to get Sabrina over here and while we're waiting I work with Caroline on her control but honestly I don't think it's gonna be a hard life for the girl. She's taken to vampirism like a duck to water and I am madly grateful that something is proving easy around here.

I know she'll probably kill someone in the long run, there's not a vampire out there who hasn't killed someone and we still have a long way to go. It's all well and good being able to control yourself when you're drinking from a blood-bag but it's a whole different ball game when you're feeding live regardless I think she's gonna be just fine.

When Bonnie arrives we fill her in on all the latest developments and thankfully she takes the news about Blondie with good grace, she's just happy that her friend is still alive, ish.

"Can you spell her a daylight ring?" I ask Bonnie when we've finished updating her on everything. "Yeah I guess I could do that, I just need to find the spell and get a ring" she says with a smile at Caroline "I'll find the spell when I get home Care and then come by tomorrow to drop off the ring"

Bonnie turns to look at Elena and me and gives us both a big smile "Grams thinks she might have found something about the dream spell, she's looking into it so hopefully I'll have some news for you on that front in a couple of days" she tells us and finally, some progress!

"Bonnie Bennett I could just hug you right now" I say and then stand up "come on Jer let's go play some x-box and leave the girls to talk about us behind our backs. Don't worry, I'll keep an ear out and let you know if I hear anything about you" I flash Bonnie and Caroline a grin and give my girl a quick kiss then make my way to the den followed by an eager Little Gilbert. I think we all deserve a day of rest every once in a while.

The next day Bonnie comes round and drops of Caroline's daylight ring and the five of us head to the cemetery to hold a small and brief memorial for John. I don't much like being out in the open like this but I know that Elena and Jeremy need to say goodbye and that's why I insisted on the 'brief'. Elena lays roses for her parents and John and after some quiet tears and hugs we make our way back to the house to waste the day away.

I wake in the dead of night. Sweat pouring from my body. Thrashing wildly against the covers as if I'm caged and fighting to breathe. I can't fucking breathe. I'm dying. Oh god I'm dying. I feel like I'm dying and Elena is shrieking and crying her heart out beside me, gasping for breath. What the fuck?

The dreams. The dreams are back. Oh god they're back but this is no fucking fairytale. This is no happy ending.

She died. I watched her _die_. I held her in my arms and then I saw her _die_. I could feel it. I could feel her in my arms. I could feel the weight of her. She touched my face and then she _died_.


	22. The Patience Of Angels

**A/N: I can't actually believe that we're so far through the first book already! I didn't even notice until it was pointed out to me yesterday. Anyway here is today's chapter, this is one of the those that wasn't actually supposed to exist until Damon/Elena decided they wanted to have sex, on that note, I hope you like it. **

**The Patience Of Angels**

_It is both a blessing and a curse, to feel everything so very deeply – David Jones_

I reach out, grabbing wildly for Elena and pull her into my arms. I am awake. I am alive. Elena is alive. She is here in my arms and she is okay. I can breathe. I focus on the breathing. The breathing in. The breathing out. For endless minutes I let myself breathe. My chest absorbs Elena's river of unstoppable tears and I feel the living, breathing weight of her in my arms.

I let her strong heartbeat calm me. Soothe me and I whisper nonsense into her hair. I inhale her scent and let it surround me and embrace me. I crush her against me in an effort to _forget_. I have never been more terrified in my very long life. Something is very much wrong. Eventually I am calm enough and Elena is calm enough for me to release my hold on her a fraction.

"You're okay. You're okay. You're here with me. You're okay" I repeat myself over and over again until I force myself to believe the words I'm saying. "Damon what...what _was_ that? Oh god oh god I can't..." Elena buries her face back into my chest and hot tears start falling from her eyes once again.

"Elena I need to see you, look at me I need to...please" she lifts her face up to look at me and I reach up and wipe the tears away from her cheeks. "What the _fuck_ is going on?" I ask her but she just shakes her head a little wildly before reaching up and lifting her hand to my face. I relax into the burning power of her palm and let myself indulge in its heat "burns" I breathe against her skin and she flinches and pulls her hand away from me as if I had literally burnt her and her eyes snap open.

"Oh no don't. Please don't I can't _bear_ it" she shrieks at me "oh Damon, Damon I just...no, _no, no_, I can't I can't" and then she throws herself on top of me and crushes her mouth against mine. She's desperate and frantic and her tongue plunges into my mouth and battles against mine in a powerful struggle, her hands come up and one grasps on my hair as she pulls me harder against her while the other claws at my chest.

I give back just as good as I get as I wrap my arm around her waist pulling her into me. I understand the need. The desire and the desperation that blurs into something with an undercurrent of urgency and I flip her underneath me and drive myself inside her.

She breathes a cry and a moan into my mouth at the unexpected turn of events and tears herself away from my mouth when I pause to let her adjust "god yes don't stop" she moans at me before pulling me back to her mouth and raking her nails down my back.

I thrust inside of her hard and fast and relentlessly and all I know is _need_. I have never felt more raw, more intense pain that eases with every gasp of pleasure Elena releases into my mouth and when I tear myself away from her lips to turn my attention to her neck she bucks underneath me when I bite down gently with sexy little moans that send sparks of pure lust throughout my entire body and impossibly I become even harder inside her.

I slam into her forcefully as my desire for release builds inside me and finally bite down on her neck once more in the place I'd feed for and she screams my name as she comes around me. It feels so fucking good and the sensations build around me until I come inside her harder than I've ever come in my damn life with an animalistic scream, growl, groan that combines into some sound I've never made before in my life.

I pull out of her quickly and flop down on to the bed beside her because otherwise I think I might just collapse on top of her but I take her hand and tangle our fingers together because I still need to be touching her. I still need to know that she is here. That she is real. That she is alive. We lie silently for a long, long time, long after Elena recovers from the aftershocks and our breathing returns to normal again.

Eventually I turn to face her "so, was that as good for you as it was for me?" I ask playfully to try and attempt to lighten the mood. Elena flips over on her side and gives me a very small smile before reaching out and touching my face with her hand again but then she shudders and pulls it back instantly.

I reach out and grab her wrist gently "hey talk to me. We need to talk about this" I tell her softly and she pulls her hand away from me and runs her eyes from mine down the length of my body, tongue darting out and licking her lips as she goes and when she looks back up to my eyes I figure she's decided she'd rather go for round two than talk about what the hell happened. Before I can find it in myself to deny her though she starts to speak again.

"Damon what was that? What happened to you?" she asks quietly and pulls herself up into a sitting position in front of me. I know she's asking about the dream. She's asking why the hell I woke up in the middle of the night thrashing like a wild out of control beast. She's asking why I just fucked her like there's no tomorrow but saying the words out loud make it feel so real and I'm terrified that maybe there _is_ no tomorrow.

Only it was real. It did happen and it feels like a fucking premonition or something. It feels exactly like it did in all those dreams that I had for all those years. I can _feel_ the rush of air around me. The breeze as I sit on the cold hard ground holding Elena's lifeless body in my arms. I can feel the weight of her. Watch as the life goes out of her eyes and just as in all those dreams where I heard her voice it feels _real_. Like it's coming. Like it's destined. Like it's going to happen.

"I...the dream. You _died_ Elena. I held you in my arms and you died" I tell her quietly and pull myself up to sit in front of her and take her hands in mine. She nods her head as if she knew that's what I was going to say "me too" she whispers without looking at me.

"Huh? You had a dream that you died?" I ask in confusion and reach out to push stray locks of hair away from her face. She looks up and directly into my eyes with tears threatening to spill and overflow from hers again and shakes her head.

"No. I had a dream that _you_ died. God Damon it was...I don't know if I can..." she closes her eyes and grips my hand with a death-force but doesn't speak again. I guess the dreams really are fucking back then. And that would explain the urgency, the need, the desperation. Elena's not usually quite so aggressive in the bedroom, not that I mind, obviously.

"Elena what happened? This could be important, scratch that, this _is_ important sweetheart so you need to tell me what happened" I tell her and stroke her hand gently in mine. No I don't have some creepy morbid fascination with how I'm going to die, but if we know, if we can figure out how or where or why then we can change it. We can stop it. And I _will_ stop it.

She opens her eyes and nods at me; steely determination burning bright in her eyes once more and she strokes my hand with her fingers and starts to talk again "I was so scared Damon. It was like I was searching for you. I just knew that I had to get to you and I did. But I was too late and all I saw. There was. You were. The..." she looks at me helplessly terrified and it finally clicks into place.

"You saw me burning, didn't you?" I ask as gently as I can. She lets loose another little shriek and throws herself back around me, twisting her arms around my neck and wrapping her legs around my waist as if she wants to pull me inside of her. That would explain why she went crazy when I whispered 'burns' when she touched me earlier. I hold her against me and run my hands through her hair and we remain attached to each other until well after the sun rises.

"Come on" I say peeling her arms from around my neck and pulling back to look at her "let's go get some breakfast, let Caroline out of the cellar and then in a little while we can call Bonnie and try to figure this out okay. I promise you I will not let you die" I assure her and she still looks a little scared but she nods and agrees before jumping out of bed to get dressed.

Before we leave the bedroom she turns around and kisses me softly "I won't let you die either Damon" there's a force behind her words. A strength in her belief and a silent promise but all I know is that she has to live. I can't make any such assurances for myself because I don't make promises that I know I might have to break and I won't lie to Elena. Instead I kiss her gently and then we make our way downstairs to let Blondie out and cook breakfast.

When we're all sitting around the table drinking our coffee, blood and orange juice in Elena's case we fill Jeremy and Caroline in on the new dreams. I leave out all the intricate details but manage to make it effectively clear that we both die in the end.

"Is this because of the Originals?" Caroline asks when I'm finished the explanations "I don't know for sure Blondie but if I had to venture a guess then yeah, I'd say so. We know Elena is in danger, needs to be protected for whatever reason. We know she needs to be protected _from_ the Originals, or Original or whoever the hell it is. Goddamit I have to find that dagger. Where the hell could it be?" I wonder out loud and nobody has any answers for me, not that I was really expecting one.

"But Damon that doesn't explain why Elena is dreaming of _you_ dying, I mean it's 'Lena they're coming for not you so why would you be...dead?" Little Gilbert questions the dreaming but I just shrug my shoulders at him "I dunno".

I do know. But I'm not about to tell the breakfast table the answer. Although they're all fairly smart cookies so I'm pretty sure they can work it out for themselves. Elena dies. I die. It's as simple as that really. No if's, buts or why's about it. If my girl dies then I will not be long for this world and if she's dreaming of me dying then it only adds to my ever increasing panic that _she_ is going to die. But she's not. I won't let her. I will find this dagger.

Elena obviously reaches the conclusion I didn't give because she inhales sharply and glares at me across the table with big wide eyes. I shake my head imperceptibly at her because this is not a discussion I'm having and certainly not over breakfast. I don't think it's a discussion I ever need or want to have, there's nothing to _be_ discussed. Not like talking about it is gonna change my mind.

"Let's say we find this dagger" Jeremy speaks up again apparently oblivious to the silent battle of wills between his sister and me "we need a human to put the vampire, or vampires down right? Well, I'm human" he points out the obvious dryly and Elena snaps her head around to look at him in horror.

Jeremy just lifts his hand and waggles his fingers at her showing off the Gilbert ring "I have the ring so even if I did die, I'd just come back. I could do it Damon" he looks at me with excitement evident in both his tone and his eyes and Elena looks at me with disbelief and fear in hers.

"Jeremy absolutely not; that is the craziest...No. Just. No" Elena blurts out turning back to look at her brother who looks slightly crestfallen. I stand up and in less than a second I've got Jer pinned against the fridge with an arm under his neck and his ring in my hand. I release him and hold the ring up in front of him.

"That's how quickly the ring is gone and you are dead. Dead. No coming back from the dead. I appreciate the input kid but it's not happening" I tell him and chuck the ring back to him.

"But...how do we know that they know about the ring? They might now and then I could do it" he insists as he takes his seat again. Lord give me strength against idiotic ideas. I throw Elena a semi-apologetic look before speaking again.

"Okay fine, they might not know about the ring but first of all that's not a risk that _anyone_ should be willing to take and second of all these are Original vampire Jer. They are stronger, faster, everything that I am multiplied by a thousand, what's to stop them from killing you in a way that makes it impossible for the ring to put you back _together_ again. It's not. An. Option" I grit out. There is no coming back from a ripped out heart, or a decapitation, or a hundred other little things I could probably think of given half a damn chance.

Jeremy sinks back in the chair with a huff and raises his hands "fine, fine okay I get it. No daggering Originals but who the hell are we going to get to do it Damon? I mean we don't exactly have an abundance of spare humans lying around offering themselves up for the cause. Maybe we could find a vampire..." he trails off and shakes his head when he realises that no vampire would be stupid or crazy enough to go on a suicide mission. No vampire except me that is.

"I haven't got that far yet Jer. I'm still having a little trouble _finding_ the damn thing" I say with a laugh to try and ease the tension of the situation.

"I would do it" Caroline pipes up for the first time and we all turn to look at her in shock. "I mean look, Elena" she turns to look at her friend "I love you and I'd do anything for you, so if we find this dagger then I'll do it" she says with a simple shrug of her shoulders and a small smile at Elena.

"Caroline no you'll _die_" Elena shrieks jumping up from the table and throwing her hands in the air "would everyone just please _stop_ trying to get themselves killed! This is _my_ problem and _no one_ will die for me. Certainly not my brother or my best friend" she says with an accusing tone and a ferocious glare at both of them.

Caroline looks suitably annoyed and opens her mouth to presumably argue her case but I beat her to it.

"Look Blondie, Elena has a point; you can't just waltz off and die for her. She might live but she'd never be able to forgive herself and then where would we be? Besides which you're like, three days old and there's not a chance you'd get close enough to dagger an Original. But you know, points for offering and all" I try to lessen the blow with a grin but it's completely ineffectual and all it means is that we now have a huffy vampire, a frustrated brother, a scared Elena and an apparently endless limit of patient Damon.

"Bonnie's here" I tell them right before the doorbell rings "let's shelve this conversation for later and focus on one thing at a time, starting with the damn dreams" I say and leave the kitchen to go and let Sabrina in to the house. With any luck she'll have some good news for me for a change.


	23. It's Written In The Stars

**A/N: And finally, some answers – at least to the dreams. This chapter was quite hard to write because when I started Dreams I wasn't even entirely sure where I was going with it and then it turned into this massive thing and a lot of that is centred around these dreams. So, hopefully I did my own story justice. Do review and let me know. Also TVD is BACK! Happy!**

**It's Written In The Stars**

_What we find in a soulmate is not something wild to tame;  
>but something wild to run free with – Robert Brault<em>

Bonnie strolls into the house with a spell-book in her hands and a smile plastered across her face, she nods at me once and I thank sweet heaven that we might finally be getting some answers.

"'Lena get your sexy little ass through here; Bonnie comes bearing gifts" I shout through to her in the kitchen and she comes bounding through with Caroline and Jeremy hot on her heels.

"I said _Elena_, not Elena and her little helpers" I say with a wry smile. "But Damon" "Aw man we wanna know too" Caroline and Jeremy both start talking at the same time and Elena giggles at them.

"I know and you will, _later_" I tell them with a roll of my eyes "Blondie go get ready I'm taking you out later to practice around living folks so go make yourself look pretty. Little Gilbert, go play the x-box or whatever" I wave them away with my hands and Caroline looks relatively excited by the prospect of getting to go out and bounces off to get ready while Jeremy huffs and glares at me before turning and stomping away to the den.

He'll get over it. It's not like we're not gonna tell them, I just want to hear it privately first and then figure out what needs to be edited. Some things should be kept private, some things are sacred.

I grab Elena's hand and lead her over to the couch pulling her down beside me while Bonnie takes a seat across from us.

"Okay Sabrina spill the goods, whadd'ya know?" I ask like an eager puppy awaiting a treat. Elena laughs at me and Bonnie lifts the cookbook off the edge of the seat. They're called grimoires actually, essentially they're just books filled with witch spells, like recipe books; cookbooks in my world.

"Okay it all sounds a little crazy at first but just hear me out okay?" Bonnie doesn't wait for us to respond and just begins flipping through the book until she finds whatever it is she's looking for and turns it around so we can see it.

I lean forward to study it but it means fucking nothing to me. There's just a bunch of tiny writing that I don't understand with a few dainty little pictures strewn around the place for good measure.

"Bonnie I don't speak witch what does it mean? What does it say?" please for the love of all that is holy, _elaborate_.

She flicks her eyes up to me with a look on her face that I can't accurately read, confusion, concern, impatience and a few other emotions before pointing to a little block of writing and starting to speak.

"Some people's destinies are intertwined" finger moves to the next little section of words. "Some people's fates are written in the very stars above" she looks up at us with excitement in her eyes this time and Elena turns to look at me with confusion in hers, probably mirroring the confusion that's in mine.

"Destiny? Fate? Huh? You're right Bonnie that _is_ crazy" I say with a glare, so much for getting damn answers.

"Damon just hold on a minute I wasn't exactly _done_" Bonnie the exasperating teenage witch huffs at me. I lean back on the couch and wave my free hand at her. Please, fucking continue to tell me how my 'fate' has been written in the damn stars.

"This grimoire is a Bennett book and this spell is a very, an _incredibly_ powerful spell. I don't know of many witches who would be able to cast this spell so whoever did it Damon, well they must have cared about you _very_ much. Essentially it's a soul-mate spell. I _know_ it sounds crazy so don't _look_ at me like that" she says with a glare at me when I sit forward to throw her an exasperated, exhausted look.

"Damon let's just listen, please" Elena says squeezing my hand gently. 'Course she would want to listen, fucking soulmates and fate and stars and shit. God, girls, I think I should have joined Jeremy in the damn den.

"The spell works by providing snippets of information about your one true love in order that you can find each other" Bonnie continues speaking and I start to give her my full attention.

"You don't have to use the word soul-mate if it somehow offends you Damon but very few people have the fortune to meet their other half. The person who completes them, twin flame, one true love, soulmate, call it what you will but that's what the spell was created for. As I said they are meant to provide scant information to help you find your, love.

Normally the dreams would only begin when both parties were alive but there's a loophole. A stipulation in the spell that decrees that if one parties life is in danger then the dreams can begin, to try and help, even the odds I suppose of whoever's life happens to be in danger" Bonnie turns to me with a quizzical look as if questioning what it was that I was in danger from when the dreaming began.

I take a second to process what we've learnt so far. Apparently Elena is my soulmate which yeah, I can totally get on board with that much as I might not like the term. So persons unknown cast the mother of all spells that would enable me, us, to find each other and they started in '53 because I was, pretty much dead no matter which way you look at it, so I was right back then; they were giving me something to live for.

"Okay I think I got that part. Witch spell of the century and Elena and I are destined to be together or whatever. Dreams started in the '50's and the less you know about that the better but I got more questions than I got answers Bonnie.

Who cast this spell? Why me? Why did they go away for so long and then come back in a rush? Why did I have them every fucking night? Why did they stop when I made the decision to come back? And quite possibly most importantly, why the _fuck_ are they back now?"

I bombard Bonnie with the thoughts and questions that are running through my mind and Elena squeezes my hand gently to try and get me to calm down a little.

I could probably work out some of the answers on my own if I tried hard enough but honestly my head is fucking spinning. Elena looks like she's the happiest girl in the damn world and god knows why the poor thing got saddled with _me_ for a fucking soulmate. I shouldn't even be _alive_. I should never have been able to meet her.

Jeremy was right. All of this mess, it is my fucking fault. She's in this mess because of me. Because of some damn spell that was cast on me so that we could find each other. But if we hadn't found each other, if we hadn't been dreaming of each other then these vampires wouldn't be coming after her. I have done the one thing I said I would never do. I have _destroyed_ her.

I jump up off of the couch and I'm about to run out of the fucking house and rip something apart when the only thing that could possibly cut through the fog in my brain does.

"Damon. _Stop_" Elena. I stop.

I don't turn around because I can't. I can't face her. I can't look at her. I have ruined her fucking life and I didn't even mean to. I didn't even know I was doing it.

"Damon turn around. _Look_ at me" I turn around. I look at her. She's so fucking beautiful it makes my heart burst. Fall. Explode. I am so lost for this girl.

"I know what you're thinking and you're _wrong_" she takes a small step towards me as if she thinks I might turn and bolt but I won't. Because please Elena. Please make it wrong. Please make everything I'm thinking wrong. Please tell me that I'm wrong.

"This is _not_ your fault Damon" she reaches out and places her hand on my cheek and I physically wilt into the burning power of her skin.

"They were coming for me anyway and you _know_ this Damon, think. Stefan, Katherine, they've been compelled, they were sent here for _me_. Dammit Damon the only reason I'm still standing here right now is because of _you _so no. You do not get to blame yourself for this you haven't done anything wrong"

She's right. I'm wrong. She's right. Of course she is. Stefan was already in town when I got back, he was already here watching over her. I came back because I'd decided to let Katherine out of the tomb but Katherine wasn't in the tomb. I found Elena. I _love_ Elena. She is everything and I didn't destroy her, it wasn't my fault.

I grab her around the waist and crush her against me dropping kisses into her hair as she giggles into my chest and wraps her arms around me. I breathe that I love her against her head but she doesn't hear me and I didn't mean her to.

After a few minutes Bonnie clears her throat and I remember that I spewed a whole lot of word vomit at her and then threw a hissy fit but didn't actually get any of the answers so I pull Elena back over and resume my spot on the couch.

"Sorry Sabrina, momentary freak-out, they're kinda my specialty. Stick around long enough and I'm sure you'll see more of them, got any answers for me?" I ask with a grin. Bonnie smiles back somewhat nervously at me as if I might have another panic attack right now but I lean back on the couch and wrap my arm around Elena's shoulder pulling her in close to me now I'm relaxed. I am better. I am fine.

"Uh, maybe to some of them yeah; I don't know who would cast the spell, I guess the only person that makes any kind of sense would be my ancestor Emily, the witch you knew back in 1864" well there's an unlikely story, I bark out a laugh.

"Why would Emily cast this spell on me? She didn't even _like_ me very much and you said that whoever did this must have cared about me a whole hella lot to invest the juice in casting the spell" that is what she said isn't it? That part was way back at the beginning of the story but I'm pretty sure I heard her right and in my book that excludes Emily Bennett from the list of potential witch suspects.

"I don't know Damon this is a Bennett grimoire, it's a Bennett spell and Emily was one of the most powerful witches that ever lived so it's the only thing that makes sense to me. Maybe you're wrong, maybe she did like you; it's not that big of a leap" Bonnie sighs with a smile at me.

"Yeah Damon, Bonnie likes you; heck everybody like you, stands to reason that Emily liked you too" Elena interjects with her own opinions but I still don't know, I mean even if we do stretch to a 'she may have liked me' it still doesn't explain why she cast the damn spell.

"Okay fine, honestly that's probably the least important thing that we actually need to know right now. Are we any clearer on the rest of the questions?" I ask and turn back to Bonnie for some kind of divine magical answers.

"I don't know why they went away; I guess only you would know why that is. When did they come back? When did you start having them every night?" she asks. Much more importantly why would I be the only person who would know why they went awa-oh. I flipped the switch. They went away because I flipped the switch.

"They came back in the 80's but I think I know why. I started having them every damn night some point in the mid 90's and I don't know why" I tell her. I'm assuming they came back in the 80's because I'd reached that point of putting my existence in danger again.

I was walking around like I owned the fucking world. Tearing out throats and ripping out hearts left, right and centre. I'd moved on from my period of reigning terror in New York and travelled to Florida to bask in some sunshine and scantily clad women but I was being far from careful and I didn't care. I didn't care about anything. And then the dreams came back and forced me to care again.

"Well that's when Elena was born, I guess they came back to let you know that she was alive. Although every night seems a little extreme, I don't think that's supposed to happen" Bonnie says with confusion and shock lacing her tone and flicks open the book again to study the spell page.

"It's because she needs to be protected. I had to find her. Save her. Protect her. I fucking _knew_ it" I voice my thought process, I always knew there was a damn purpose, a reason, something so much bigger than my life, than life itself. Makes sense when you look at it that way.

"Bloody mad-man lying on fucking roads" I mutter under my breath. God I remember, all those nights searching, just praying to some kind of higher power that if I could just _find_ her then everything would be okay.

"Why did they stop then?" Elena asks a question of her own turning to look at her friend and then me and then Bonnie again, "when Damon decided to come home, why did they stop?" she repeats.

"Well I guess because he was coming to find you. You would both be here in town, alive at the same time. Some way or another he would find you or you would find him but either way you were destined to find each other" Bonnie says with a grin and Elena turns and gives me a radiant smile. Lights up her whole face and her eyes shine with all that burning fire I fell into on the very first night I laid eyes on her.

I give her a smile back and return my thoughts to the most important piece of information I need to get out of this crazy little story.

"So why are they back?"

"I don't know Damon" Bonnie replies quietly and helplessly "the only thing that makes any sense is that the new dreams are a warning. We already know something is coming for Elena, I guess the dreams are telling you that she's in danger, that she's going to die, you're going to die; I don't know and I'm sorry Damon but I don't think we can stop it. I don't know how to make it not true. Unless we find the dagger I don't think we can. I think the dreams will come...true" she says looking at us both sadly.

Fucking no. Absolutely not. There's not a chance in hell that's happening. She cannot die. She has to live.

"Well then I suggest we make haste on finding this damn dagger. Bonnie can you do a little witchy contact with the dead? Contact Emily; ask her if she knows anything about _anything_. I have to find my brother; or Katherine, they must know something and there must be a way around the compulsion I just have to figure it out, work out the right questions to ask. Elena is safe here, she's protected. No vampires can get in so we'll just keep her here and everything will be fine and I wi-"

"Damon I can't just stay locked up in here forever" Elena breaks into what I actually thought was my inner monologue but turns out I was speaking out loud, my bad. I turn to look at her helplessly because I don't know what else to do; I know I can't just keep her inside forever.

"Well maybe just until we find the dagger then" I say with a pleading grin.

"Look I can try and contact Emily and ask her what she knows but Elena is right, we can't lock her in here forever and right now I think we all really need a break. Maybe Elena and I could drive up with Caroline to the lake house tonight. We can hold a séance, contact Emily, look for some more journals and you can spend some time with Jeremy and take a night off from all of the madness" Bonnie lays out her plans for me and Elena nods her head along with her, grinning happily beside me.

I don't like it. I don't like it one little bit.

"Caroline's not ready" I say grasping for reasons that this is not an okay plan even though I know it's an exercise in futility.

"Oh Damon come on; she's been around us for days and she hasn't tried to eat any of us yet and you know it. She's fine, besides Bonnie will be there so she can do her...you know, if anything goes wrong" Elena insists.

God dammit.

"Fine. Fine. But I drive you there. I pick you up tomorrow. And you stay inside the entire time. You do not leave the house for anyone or anything. You promise" I don't even make it a question because if she doesn't agree then I can't let her go and she knows it "I promise I will stay inside" she replies and leans over to give me a kiss "don't worry, it'll be _fine"_ she whispers against my mouth. Yeah, famous last words Elena.

Regardless I don't suppose it's really that bad an idea. The lake house is private, secure, no one can get inside and it's only one night. The girls deserve to have some time together and it will give them a chance to witch-dial Emily and talk about soulmates and destinies written in stars and all that other girly stuff while Jer and I play shooting games on the x-box.

I take Caroline out into town for a little bit of practice in a public place and she maintains control of herself remarkably well. Really I'm quite proud of the girl and when we get back to the house I find Elena and Bonnie waiting for me to drive them up to the lake house.

When we arrive Elena invites Blondie and me inside and then I give her a searing kiss to remember me by and tell her to call me in the morning when they're ready to be picked up before heading home to get wasted with Jeremy.


	24. Brothers In Arms

**A/N: I'm so glad a lot of you seemed to enjoy the dreams back-story, and to those that I rambled to about S6, thanks for listening and indulging me lol. This is another one of those chapters that I didn't anticipate writing until it wrote itself really so I hope you enjoy it. **

**Brothers In Arms**

_No one tells me how I live my life; no one tells me who I love  
>because...you are my life – Damon Salvatore<em>

The next morning I wake to bright warm sunshine, birds chattering in the skies and blissful relief from absolutely no death dreams and a message from my girl.

_Come pick us up whenever you're ready x _

I jump in the shower and get dressed quickly before going to make some breakfast for Little Gilbert. "I'm going to pick up the girls" I tell him when he walks into the kitchen like a hound dog following the smell of crispy bacon. Jeremy heads directly for his mug of coffee on the table and takes a long drink before talking to me.

"Sweet can I come too?" he asks before sitting down at the table and tucking into his breakfast "yeah I guess so just eat quick and get ready fast 'cause I wanna leave like, ten minutes ago" I reply with a smile before taking a drink of my own coffee with a side of blood.

"Man you are so _lost_ for my sister" he laughs out with a grin between hurried mouthfuls of eggs and bacon. "You wanna tell me something I don't know Little Gilbert?" I ask with a smirk. He regards me with a slightly curious expression as if he's trying to work out something important but then just shrugs it off and stands up.

"Thanks for the food, gimme ten minutes to shower and change then we can go" he says as he strolls out of the kitchen "make it five minutes" I call after him and wash up the dishes while I'm waiting for him.

We've been driving for around twenty minutes when Jeremy starts interrogating me.

"Do you think Elena will turn?" is his first question. "I don't know" I respond. We've never actually talked about it.

"You haven't talked about it with her?" he asks me incredulously. I turn and roll my eyes at him "in case you hadn't noticed we've had a few other things on our minds recently" I tell him with a grin. You know, impending doom and death, soulmate spells and dreams, dead family members; there's not exactly been a lot of time for talking about the future. Not least of all because no one knows how long that future is gonna last, there's no point in talking about Elena turning if I'm just gonna die in the end anyway.

Jeremy nods his head and sinks back into his seat before asking me his next question and I'm beginning to feel like I'm involved in a game of Twenty Questions.

"Do you want her to turn?" he asks. It feels a little awkward to be having this conversation with Jeremy when Elena and I haven't even discussed it but it was my clever idea to bring him along with me so I suppose I have to endure it.

"I'd be lying if I said no and I'm not big on lying, so yes. I do want her to turn. If it was up to me then I'd want to keep her forever, of course" I tell him with a soft smile playing on my lips. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't necessarily want it to be for another few years. Give her a chance to grow up some more, graduate high school, hit 21 maybe. I turn to glance at Jeremy who hasn't replied to my answer but he doesn't look angry, just thoughtful.

We drive in silence for another ten minutes or so and I start to figure that we're done with question time but I figured wrong.

"If you turn Elena...will you uh, will you turn me too?" he asks with a hint of fear in his voice. I pull the car over to the side of the road and turn to face him.

"Are you asking me this because you _want_ to turn or because you're afraid I might just turn you one day for the sheer fun of it?" I ask him with genuine curiosity. He barks a laugh and turns to face me. "No, if you turn Elena then I want to turn too. I don't wanna grow old and die while my sister lives on forever. We're all each other have left really and...yeah" he trails off but he doesn't need to explain it to me, I get it.

Hell it's the reason _my_ brother turned me and honestly I don't know how well Elena'd cope if something happened to her brother.

I reach out and clap Jer on the shoulder a couple of times "sure kid, I'll turn you and I'll turn Elena and we'll all be a happy little vampire family" I say with a laugh "but you know none of this matters right now, right? None of this matters until we find a way to save her life" I say softly and even then it might not matter if I'm not here anymore to spearhead the happy little vampire family.

Jeremy nods his head "yeah I know, I just wanted to ask you know?" he replies and I pull back onto the road and resume our journey towards the lake house "yeah kid, I know".

We've almost arrived, about ten minutes away in fact when Jeremy throws his next question at me "if she dies, you're not gonna...you're gonna die too, aren't you?" he asks sadly and I pull the damn car over again and lean my head back against my seat.

After a few seconds I turn to look at him and his face is tinged with sadness. I guess this is what he was trying to put together in his head at breakfast earlier, but again I'm not big on lying so I go with the truth.

"Yeah Jer, there's nothing for me in this world without Elena and I mean that with no offence; you're a great kid but I can't live forever without her. Honestly I don't think I'd ever be able to get back up off the ground if anything happened to your sister but that's why I _promise_ you I will _find_ a way to save her. Nothing will happen to her I swear" I reassure him and a few tears slide down his cheeks so I rest my head back again and close my eyes so he doesn't feel embarrassed.

"Why haven't you told her?" he asks me after a few minutes of silence. "Told her what? That if something happens to her I'm gonna take my ring off and walk out into the sunlight? Yeah 'cause that sounds like a conversation I _ever_ want to have" I reply with a laugh and turn to look at him again.

"No I don't mean that" he grins at me slyly "I mean why haven't you told her that you're in love with her?"

I pull back onto the road again to give myself a little time to consider his question. I don't really know why I haven't told her yet. I mean you'd think with all of the soulmate shit and the _feeling_ from the sex, or the giving of my house or any of the other ways that I've shown her how mad about her I am in the last few weeks that it would've come up by now but I guess it's partly because I haven't found the right moment to tell her.

"I'm pretty sure she knows; pretty sure _everyone_ knows" I finally respond with a sigh.

Honestly there's a part of me that's scared and that's the truth of the matter. As I said, everybody and their auntie knows that I'm in love with the girl, that I worship the fucking ground she walks on but I've never actually said those words to anyone, it's really quite insane that three little words can twist me up inside but there's the facts; it terrifies me.

More than that there's the insecure part of me that comes into play in a big way. Maybe she won't love me back. Maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I don't _deserve_ her love. Maybe for her this is just for now. She's still so young and as already evidenced we haven't exactly had many discussions about the future, her future, our future.

The dreams don't factor much into this in my mind as far as I'm concerned because you don't fall in love with someone just because of a dream, well unless you're me but I mean yeah, I fell in love with the dream but I didn't really _fall_ until the night I met her.

I didn't really _fall_ until I fell for her eyes. I didn't really _fall_ until the day she grazed my lips with hers and I exploded into a burst of emotions. I didn't completely _lose_ it until the night she gave herself to me and I _fell_ into an oblivion of feeling.

So if she loves me, then she doesn't love me _because_ of the dreams and I don't know if she loves me and that terrifies me. Don't get me wrong, I don't _need_ her to love me back but to tell her that I love her? That's a whole other ball game and I guess the truth is that I'm just not ready.

I pull up in front of the lake house and turn to look at Jeremy "we done with the questions now?" I ask with a smile and he laughs. "Yeah we're done but hey Damon listen, Elena, she's a little uh, naive when it comes to things like this. You might _think _that she knows but she won't really believe it until you tell her" he shakes his head at me and laughs again as if he can't believe that he's talking about his sister like this "you should tell her" he finally concludes decisively with a vigorous nod of his head.

I open the car door and step out "I'll take it under consideration, stay here" I say before closing the door with a smile and going to collect Elena and her friends. The girls come tumbling out of the front door and Blondie and Sabrina go to climb in the car while I say hello to Elena.

"You took ages" she complains at me "your text said you were on the way nearly two hours ago" she reminds me with a mock glare. "Nice to know you missed me" I say with a laugh and drop a kiss to her forehead "sorry for the delay, your brother wanted to question my intentions for you" I tell her with another laugh.

"Huh?" she asks with a confused look on her face "don't worry about it, just some guy stuff" I tell her with a shrug and pull her along towards the car. Jeremy moans about being turfed out of the front seat and sandwiched between the girls in the back but eventually everyone piles back into the car and I drive us all back home.

When we arrive at the house the girls fill me in on what they learned over night. And what they learned was sweet little. Bonnie managed to contact Emily who confirmed that she did in fact cast the spell but refused to give any details on why the hell she did it, or at least that's what they say. Personally I'm not convinced, Bonnie has been more than a little evasive on the topic and I'm pretty sure Elena is hiding something from me but I could just be being a paranoid jerk so I haven't pushed her on the topic.

Emily also told them that she had heard of the elusive dagger but had no information to provide other than what we already know and she definitely doesn't know where to find it.

We manage to get through five days; read that, five _whole_ days of peace and tranquillity. No attempts on Elena's life. No murderous Original vampires. No waking up in the middle of the night breathless from terrifying dreams.

Caroline got moved out of the cellar and given her very own room and her mother got compelled to believe she's spending the summer with her father. Blondie checks in once every few days so her mom doesn't get antsy and try to check up on her.

I begin teaching Elena and Jeremy the basics of cooking and plugging in electrical equipment without electrocuting themselves or bringing the house down around us. Bonnie spends most of her days here with us and my house is filled with the sounds of girls chattering and giggling and boys shooting stuff on games consoles.

I haven't given up on my desperate search to find the dagger; I'm just having a brief interlude of giving in because I don't happen to know where to _find_ the damn thing. Yep we got five whole days of normality. Of laughter, happiness and friendship and then real life came back with a knock on the door.

Actually it's less of a knock and more of an "oof" as my brother arrives in the evening and finds himself unable to enter his house. Sucks to be you Stefan, and oh joy, he's brought Katherine along with him for the impromptu visit.

"Damon why can't I get in my house?" he asks in a wary voice from outside the front door. Elena, Blondie, Sabrina and Jeremy congregate around me in the hallway as I smirk at my brother before pulling Elena into my side and wrapping my arm around her shoulder "well brother, that'd be because it's not your house anymore. It's Elena's" I nod my head and grin widely at Stefan.

"What can I do for you Stefan?" I ask with insincere politeness. "You could ask your little witch friend to kindly refrain from trying to attack my brain" Katherine spits out at me and I turn to look at Bonnie with a confused look, she pulls herself out of her trance with a sad, resigned frown "thank you" Katherine says with a distinct lack of gratitude.

"Bonnie why didn't it work?" I ask utterly confused. She's been working on the spell over the last few days, working out how to direct it at only one vampire at a time or, in some cases two vampires at a time. Yes Blondie and I were _stupid_ enough to volunteer our brains for short blasts of insanely intense pain so she could figure out the witchy work-around. Apparently it's all been for nothing.

"I don't know" she replies with a helpless shrug of her shoulders.

"Allow me to clarify the situation for you" Katherine speaks up again and I turn back to face her "the little witchy-migraines you people are so terribly fond of? They don't _work_ on older vampires. We're too strong and I'm over 500 years old so no dice I'm afraid" she says with a smirk.

Jesus fuck. That was my _one_ shot. My one chance at actually coming out of this fucked up situation alive and if Bonnie can't bring down Katherine then there's not a sweet hope in hell that she's gonna be able to take down an Original.

Yeah. Real life just came knocking with a slap across the fucking face.

"Why are you here?" I ask with a sigh and a voice that comes out sounding completely resigned even to my own ears.

"We're here to give you information" Stefan supplies "he's coming for Elena" Katherine adds her ever so helpful commentary to Stefan's somewhat useful statement. Elena gasps and I pull her into me a little tighter.

"Well whoever 'he' is he's gonna have a hard time getting her if he can't come inside the house now isn't he?" I say with a smirk.

"Damon" Stefan lifts his face from whatever the hell it is that he was studying so intently on the ground to look directly at me "we need to talk brother, all of us" he says but yeah, that's not happening.

"I'm not letting you, either of you in this house Stefan" I warn him.

"Damon" Elena lifts her face up towards me and I already know what the next words out of her mouth are going to be so I shake my head at her "no Elena. Don't even _think_ about it" I turn back to look at my brother "come up with a better suggestion Stef because you're not getting in" I grit out the words through my teeth and Katherine comes up with a better suggestion.

"Then come to the Gilbert house" she snaps out with a huff "we can all get in there and no one else can. Meet us there tonight at 8pm. Come Stefan let's go" she demands and turns on her heel before blurring away. Stefan shoots me a half-apologetic, half-helpless smile and runs after Katherine.

"Well" I say turning around to face the little group behind me "that was unexpected. Let's get ready to go and have a thrilling soiree with my brother and Katherine and their fountain of knowledge" I say with a grin, at least we might finally get some fucking information on this mess.

"Wait we're actually _going_?" Jeremy asks me with an incredulous expression on his face.

"I don't really see any other option here Jer. We need information and they're offering us information, plus Katherine is right; we're the only ones who can get in the house so we'll be safe there" I explaining my reasoning and when everyone agrees with the plan we get ready to go and attend a little reunion party.


	25. This Is How You Remind Me

**A/N: So, this was one of my Top 3 chapters to write of the entire story and yes, it's Nickelback referenced but I promise it totally works. Would absolutely *love* your feedback on this chapter since I love it so much so please do let me know. **

**This Is How You Remind Me **

_It's not like you to say sorry; I was waiting on a different story – Nickelback_

When we arrive at the Gilbert house the group of us form a rather comical circle around Elena and usher her quickly towards the house lest 'he' come and attempt to grab her on the short distance between the car and the front door.

When we get inside Katherine and Stefan are waiting for us in the living room. Jeremy, Bonnie and Caroline sit down on the couch when Katherine stands to make room for them and Stefan takes a seat on the opposite side.

Katherine saunters over to Elena and they study each other rather intently for a few seconds which makes me feel all kinds of uneasy but there's really not much I can do about it so I just stand beside Elena and wait for somebody to speak. Katherine tilts her head from side to side and eventually takes a step back.

"How very odd" she says; her tone losing some of its usual cattiness and then she shakes her head a little, curls bouncing around the place.

"I'm somewhat apologetic about your Uncle John" she says turning to look at Jeremy and then Elena again. "It wasn't my choice to kill him. I was under compulsion" she explains what we had already worked out for ourselves but adds her 'somewhat apology' to the mix.

Elena and Jeremy exchange equally baffled looks and Elena frowns a little as if she's considering whether she's supposed to respond to a half-baked apology and eventually she just shakes her head a little and lets it go.

Katherine wanders over and perches on the arm of the chair Stefan is sitting on and I decide we may as well get right down to business.

"All right we're here" I begin by indicating my little rag-tag group on the couch. "Please, share your wisdom o' wise ones" Elena moves and sits on the edge of the couch beside her brother and I walk around to stand behind her.

"As we said earlier, he's coming for you Elena. On the next full moon which by my calendar is in almost precisely three weeks' time" I stop Katherine before she can get any further.

"Katherine" I grit out and close my eyes for a second. "You got a name somewhere in that head of yours? Or are we just gonna refer to him as 'he' for the rest of time?" because I _really_ don't feel like spending the entire night talking in riddles.

Katherine's face twists and turns into something I've never ever seen on her before, pure fear. She's terrified and grips Stefan's hand wildly as her eyes dart around the room as if whoever 'he' is might just appear right this very second to murder us all. I have the distinct impression that I'm absolutely not going to like the name I'm about to hear.

"Klaus" my brother fills in the blanks. Yeah. Called that.

My heart sinks because of all Originals I was hoping for; he was at the bottom of my list. I don't even know for sure if I will be able to kill him but dammit I'll give it my best fucking shot. I place my hands on Elena's shoulders and squeeze gently and she relaxes into my hands slightly before straightening up again.

"What does he want with _me_?" she asks the question that's been on my mind, on all of our minds, for months.

"He wants to break the curse that was placed on him when he turned. I'm not entirely clear on the details but the doppelganger breaks it" Katherine explains to Elena with a hint of remorse in her voice.

"The doppel-what now?" Blondie interjects and Stefan laughs at her curiosity.

"Elena is my doppelganger. A living, breathing double of oneself; the blood of the human doppelganger is required to break the curse. Klaus will be arriving in Mystic Falls on the night of the full moon and the sacrifice will take place" Katherine explains and I hear the words 'blood of the doppelganger' and 'sacrifice' and my hands tighten their grip on Elena just a little bit and she reaches up and places her hand on mine and gently strokes my knuckles with her fingers.

"Why are you telling us this? Actually, scratch that; _how_ are you telling us this?" I demand while another part of my brain tries to figure out how to save my girl, how to find a dagger, how to kill Klaus and I got nothing. I got no fucking answers and I think I'm actually going to go insane with the lack of viable paths to choose from.

"He removed the compulsion that was preventing us from telling you earlier. We were sent here to protect Elena and keep her safe until he was ready or her. When Stefan believed that you were a danger to her, he tried to vervain you and lock you away from her and then he tried to break you up, and then we realised that you – "

I shoot Katherine a death-glare because I do not like the direction her words are taking but thankfully she gets the fucking hint and changes her word choice.

"Were not a danger to her" she supplies instead with a small smile.

"Why did he remove the compulsion?" I ask deciding to move past the issue with my brother for the time being. Although it is a bit of a comfort to know that he was only planning on locking me up that night he vervained me and not actually killing me.

"Same reason Klaus does anything" Katherine answers with a shrug. "Same reason he had me kill your uncle, same reason he had me turn you" Katherine adds nodding her head towards Blondie.

"I'm also somewhat apologetic for that" she says with a slight smile which makes almost everyone laugh and does a relatively good job of breaking some of the tension in the room.

"Klaus just loves to play games with people, mess with their minds; screw up their lives. All that fun stuff. He wants you to _know_ he is coming for you Elena. He wants you to be afraid, it's all just a big game to him" Katherine explains with a slight shrug of her shoulders and jumps up off of the chair.

"Got any alcohol in this house? I sure could use a drink right about now" Katherine says with a laugh and directs her question to Elena.

Elena stands up as well. "Yeah in the kitchen, come on I'll bring glasses" she replies to Katherine but nope. Not gonna happen.

I step out from behind the couch to stop Elena on her journey and she crashes right into me. "'Lena sweetheart, sit down please" I say and turn her back around again. "I'll get the glasses" I tell her when she looks at me in confusion.

I follow Katherine through to the kitchen and grab a few glasses from one cupboard and a bottle of bourbon from another before turning to go back to the living room but she stops me before I can get very far with a hand on my arm.

"What?" I ask turning back to look at her. She studies me intently for a second as if she's deciding what to say but Katherine is never that uncertain. She plans out everything to the very smallest detail and you can't bullshit a bullshitter so I turn to leave again when nothing is forthcoming from her mouth.

"I'm sorry" she blurts out before I can leave the room and I stop and turn back to her again. "Huh?" I ask incredulously.

"I'm sorry that we didn't tell you that we were together, that I wasn't in the tomb. Shoulda told you. Sorry we didn't" she says simply with a shake of her curls and a shrug.

"So you're 'somewhat' sorry for killing Elena and Little Gilbert's uncle, and you're 'somewhat' sorry for turning Blondie into a vampire; but you're _actually_ sorry for not telling me the damn truth at some point over the last decade and a half? And I'm supposed to believe that? From _Katherine _Pierce? I'm sorry, have you _met_ you?

You don't do 'sorry' and I don't buy it, whatever little game it is you're playing here; whatever you're hoping to achieve from this little 'let's get to know each other' party. I don't buy it for a fucking second so you can take your apology and you can shove it.

I'm glad you weren't in that fucking tomb. I'm glad you've never had to _experience_ the agonising pain of your body failing and giving out on you. I'm glad you weren't stuck under there begging for death with every fucking breath you drew. I'm glad you weren't rotting in that tomb _praying_ for _someone_ to care about you just enough to come and fucki-"

It finally dawns on me that I'm saying all of this shit out loud and I'm not saying it quietly. I close my eyes for a second to try and prevent the onslaught of regret I'm about to feel any damn second for letting everyone in on some aspects of my person history because that was never my intention.

As it stands I have completely forgotten where I was going with my rant at Katherine so I decide to just let it go.

"I accept your, insincere apology. Let's go drink something" I finish and lift the bottle towards her before stalking back into the living room. Nobody says a word as I pour myself a glass of bourbon and down it in less than a second.

"I gotta get out of here" I mutter under my breath and then blur out of the room and up to Elena's bedroom where I lie on the bed to escape both the pounding in my head and the tension in that room.

"What happened to him?" Katherine whispers to Stefan. "I don't know" my brother replies. "What's wrong with Damon, Elena?" Blondie asks my girl. "It's…he…I…I gotta get out of here" I smile at Elena's response and listen as she runs up the stairs and comes rushing into the room. She slams the door and then presses herself against it, dropping her forehead to the wood and collecting herself before she turns to me.

"Are you okay Damon?" she asks softly but I press a finger to my lips and beckon her over to me. She comes and I tug her down towards me and she settles down on top of me.

"I'm fine, I just needed a minute" I whisper at her and she nods. "Why are we whispering?" she whispers back at me with a smile. "Vampire hearing. I think I've spilled enough deep dark secrets to last one night" I explain to her and she looks down at me with a soft sad smile. "I'm fine" I promise her. "Just, kiss me" so she does.

After a few seconds I roll us over so she's underneath me and I kiss her and taste her and inhale her little moans until I forget why I came up here in the first place. Eventually she tears herself away from my mouth with a small groan.

"Damon if I don't stop kissing you…" she looks up at my shyly. "So don't stop" I tease her and kiss her again but she pushes at my chest. "Vampire hearing remember?" she asks with a giggle and I groan, right; all the fucking vampires downstairs, god.

"Okay" I say jumping up off the bed and pulling her up with me. "Let's go get this little party over with so I can get you home and we can start our very own party" I say with a grin and lead her back downstairs.

In the living room I take another drink and Elena takes her seat. Actually, I think I need another drink. One just wasn't enough; when I'm quite finished with the drinking I move back to stand behind Elena.

"All right, let me just try and summarise here and you can tell me if I missed anything out" I say with a glance at Katherine and Stefan.

"Klaus of the Originals is cursed and he requires Ele…he requires the blood of the doppelganger to break the curse and he plans on…" huh, well this part is harder than I expected it to be. Usually I'm really fucking good at stating the cold hard facts but when those facts pertain to Elena apparently it's a bit of a struggle. Maybe I should have let someone else summarise; alas I've started it now so I have to finish it.

"Plans on sacrificing…" nope, not gonna be able to do it.

"Elena" my brother supplies for me.

"Right, thanks brother. Uh-huh, what Stefan said. In three weeks' time there will be a full moon which is when this is all supposed to go down. He sent you two here to watch over her and keep her safe and now he has removed the compulsion so you can tell us what's going on because he wants us all to be quivering in our boots when he shows up. Did I forget anything?"

I _dare_ someone to bring up what happened with Katherine. Go on; find out how that turns out for you. Thankfully everyone in the room seems to understand just how much of a bad idea that would be and nobody mentions a word about it.

"No I think that about covers it" Stefan replies after a couple seconds of consideration.

"Okay great, so what the hell do we do about it?" I ask the group. Jeremy, Bonnie, Caroline and Elena just look utterly dejected, Stefan looks sad and Katherine looks resigned.

"Damon, there's nothing you can do I'm sorry" Katherine says and this time I actually do believe her. The apology that is; that one actually sounded pretty sincere.

"Well that's not gonna work for me" I reply with a grin. "Hey Katherine, you ever hear of a dagger that can kill an Original?" I ask her. Please say yes please say yes please say yes.

"Yeah actually, I think my friend Peal mentioned something about them back in the day" I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Your friend Pearl? You mean your _friend _Pearl who is currently desiccated in the tomb that you're not in?" I ask pointedly and Katherine raises her hands in a 'so-what' gesture that I remember oh-so-well.

"I was doing what I had to do to survive Damon. Yes, I left my friend to die and I'm a terrible person. I get it but what's done is done so please can we just…move on?" she asks and her words strike a very dangerous chord inside of me so I decide the change the topic of conversation immediately before I have another emotional breakdown in front of everyone.

"Right yeah. So, any idea of where this dagger might be now?" I ask. Please say yes please say yes please say yes.

"No I don't have a clue but rest assured if Klaus knows that these daggers exist then you can bet everything you own that he has them in his possession" she promises me with a nod of her head.

"Huh, well that's not gonna work for me either" I reply with a grin.

"Sabrina" I turn to face Bonnie. "Get back on this. Talk to Grams, contact Emily again, hell contact a hundred witches; do a locater spell I dunno, just get me some information on this damned dagger. Please" I turn to Caroline and Jeremy. "Blondie, Little Gilbert help her. Do whatever you need to do just find the fucking thing" and then I turn to Katherine and Stefan.

"What's your purpose from here on out? Are you supposed to stay here and protect Elena still? Or are you going back to Klaus?" I ask and they look at each other for a second before Stefan responds.

"No we're staying. We're not under compulsion to protect Elena anymore but we'll stay and do it regardless" he says and Katherine nods her head with my brother's sentiments.

"Have you been compelled not to kill or otherwise personally endanger Klaus?" I ask and they both open and close their mouths a couple of times before Katherine lets out a frustrated huff.

"That'd be a yes then" I fill in the blanks when neither of them are able to respond to my question.

"Have you been compelled to report back what we're doing to Klaus?" I ask; it's actually quite fun that I'm finally getting a chance to play my version of 'Compelled Twenty Questions' or at least it would be if this situation was in any way fun.

"No" Katherine supplies.

"And there we have our loophole" I say with a smile and a clap of my hands.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the two of you would love nothing more than for Klaus to die so from now on you are firmly on Team Good Guys" I send Katherine a narrow-eyed glare. "You. Can I trust you?" I ask pointing my finger at her.

"Damon yes, I want Klaus dead as much as the next person. More probably, considering our history and yes I would help you but this is fruitless. There is nothing we can do to kill him. Klaus is _immortal_ Damon and without the dagger we don't have a hope in hell" she tells me.

"Yeah yeah I get it we need to find the dagger. I'm on it. Look we have three weeks right?" I check the timing with Katherine and Stefan. "Yeah the full moon's in three weeks' time" Stefan replies. "And he said he's coming to town on the night of the sacrifice" Katherine adds and I nod.

"Good. Okay well then that gives us three weeks to exhaust every possible location and do everything possible. Game's not over until it's over friends and frenemies" I say with a smirk at my brother before walking back over to the couch and pulling Elena to her feet.

"Look it's been a long night so let's get home, get some rest and we'll reconvene tomorrow and figure out where we go from here" I say with a nod towards Jeremy and Blondie and we say goodnight to Bonnie who promises to talk to her Grams again in the morning before coming over.

Stefan and Katherine trail along behind us and at the front door I turn around. "Nuh-uh no way no chance. You two can stay here, she's not inviting you in the house until this is over" I tell them and Stefan nods while Katherine looks huffy.

"It was nice to meet you Elena" Katherine says after a second sounding relatively sincere which shocks just about everyone in the room. Only Stefan doesn't seem surprised.

"Uh, you too…I guess?" Elena half-questions and I burst out laughing.

We agree to come back to the Gilbert house the following afternoon and then I drive us home and Elena and I get to pick up where we left off in her bedroom and for the rest of the night I get to forget about spell and curses and daggers and sacrifices and just lose myself in Elena's body and the feeling.


	26. Love Will Ruin Us All Katherine's Story

**A/N: I don't have a lot to say up here today other than thank you as ever for the lovely reviews and I hope you enjoy the chapter. **

**Love Will Ruin Us All. Katherine's Story**

_I hold a beast, an angel, and a mad man in me – Dylan Thomas_

Elena wakes me up the next morning with sleepy kisses peppering my face "good morning" I whisper at her with a lazy smile "mornin'" she replies sleepily and presses another soft kiss to my lips before jumping off the bed.

I reach out to grab her wrist and pull her back but she manages to successfully evade me "ah-ah" she says waving a finger at me "I have to go shower" she tells me and I sit up in bed "ooh sounds fun can I come?" I ask with a grin and Elena tilts her head playfully as if she's seriously considering her answer. Eventually she nods and giggles "I guess that would be okay" she says with a grin and twirls off towards the bathroom.

Didn't I tell you that you should always ask for the things you want? You see what it gets you? Shower time with Elena. I jump out of bed and follow her through to the bathroom where she's already standing under the shower head, her naked body tantalisingly wet and I'm instantly rock hard in spite of the marathon session we pulled off last night. I fucking love vampire stamina.

I walk into the shower and stand behind her, taking a few seconds to run my hands over her body and she relaxes into me, dropping her head back on to my shoulder. I reach up and cup her breasts in my hands and tease her nipples gently with my fingers earning me breathy little moans. She groans when I take my hands away "you're such a tease" she complains at me.

"Wasn't what you were saying last night" I remind her with a laugh and grab her shampoo from the shelf behind me. I slip my hands into her hair and massage it into her scalp "that feels so good" she says softly and I press a kiss into her neck which makes her shiver and moan.

I haven't bitten her properly, she hasn't asked me to but I just know she's going to work up her courage one of these days because every time I kiss her neck or bite gently during sex she gets madly turned on. It's insanely erotic and I'm very much looking forward to the day when she finally finds her nerve.

I'm rather hopeful that it will be in the next three weeks actually; because otherwise we might have a bit of a problem. That's definitely not something I wanna think about when I'm in the shower with my girl though so let's avoid that for now.

I haven't asked her if she wants me to do it or if I can do it because I want it to be her choice and not because she thinks I want it. Obviously I do, I mean that should go without saying really. I'm desperate to taste the heavenly elixir that is Elena's blood again but it has to be up to her so I'll wait.

"Rinse" I whisper into her ear and spin her around so that she's standing under the water again. She tips her head back and I run my fingers through her hair until the shampoo's all gone. "Your turn" she says looking up at me.

"After" I reply huskily and before she knows what's happening I spin her around, placing her hands on the stone walls for support and wrap my arm around her waist. I press open-mouthed kisses into her neck, down her shoulders and across her back while my fingers plunge inside her.

She rocks backwards against me pushing her ass into my raging hard dick "god 'Lena you're so fucking beautiful" I gasp at her and when she starts to clench around my fingers I replace them quickly with my cock. She moans a throaty, sexy little noise as I fill her and when I move my hand down to stroke her clit she comes around me instantly.

"Damon oh god, Damon so gooood" she moans and throws her head back against my shoulder again. I lean down and kiss her deeply as I thrust in and out of her at an agonisingly slow pace for what feels like hours "Damon please" she gasps against my mouth as her hand comes to tangle itself in my hair "what?" I tease her in a husky voice.

"Need more please, harder" she thrusts her tongue inside my mouth and I bury myself inside her and as she fights my tongue relentlessly with hers I drive myself into her harder and faster until she tears her mouth away from mine and drops her head forward, leaning it against the cool wall.

"Damon Damon" she begins to chant my name and I give her both a little incentive and what she needs by biting down gently into the base of her neck. She stills for the briefest of seconds and then with a shudder and a final shriek of my name she falls to pieces around me, all over me, surrounding me again and her release brings mine with one final thrust as we tumble into oblivion together.

I hold Elena upright for endless minutes while she regains control of her body and balance and when she pulls her hands away from the wall I unwrap my arm from around her waist. She turns to face me and her cheeks are a little red from blushing though god knows why because the girl is sexy as all hell.

"Well" she says looking up at me with a shy smile "that was new" she finishes with a giggle.

"Baby I've got moves you've never seen" I tease her and step back underneath the shower to wash my own hair because I know if she does it then we're never gonna get out here. She giggles at me and when we're both finally washed we step out of the shower and get ready to begin the new battles that today is bound to throw at us.

Once everybody is properly fed, bathed and otherwise satisfied we leave the house and head back to the Gilbert house to meet up with Stefan, Katherine and Bonnie. Sabrina is waiting for us when we arrive and Katherine and Stef are sitting in the living room in the same place they were last night. I wonder if they just sat there all night long.

"Good morning frenemies" I say with a grin "let's get to work shall we?" I turn to Bonnie "Sabrina, anything to share with the group?" I ask and she rolls her eyes at my consistent use of her nickname. You'd think she'd be used to it by now really, besides it's a compliment. I only use nicknames on the people I care about.

"Actually yes" she replies. Well sweet hallelujah some good fucking news at last.

"I spoke to Grams about it last night and she said that there's a witch she can try and contact who might know something about the Originals. I guess she was around back then because Grams muttered something about the Original witch and vampire business but she promised she'd look into it for me so I guess we'll know soon enough" Bonnie explains.

Well it may not be a definitive answer but it is close enough to good news that I'll take it as a win.

"Okay great. Well I've been thinking that in lieu of any other options i.e. if we _can't_ get our hands on this dagger then we need to come up with something else. So, put your thinking caps on gang" everybody takes a seat and I wait for the words that I know Katherine is about to say in approximately two seconds.

"Damon there is nothing else we've been through this" she huffs in an exasperated manner. See I knew those words were coming.

"I know that there's nothing else that we can _kill_ him with Little Miss Obvious, I was thinking more along the lines of if we don't find the dagger then we just get the hell outta dodge" you know, run, run the fuck away and never look back.

"Aw man let's just do that right now. We'll find some deserted island on the corner of nowhere and forget all this mess" Little Gilbert clearly agrees with my sentiments and even Elena looks to be in some way considering it as an option.

"Uh yeah it's not possible" Katherine speaks up with an air of finality. "Why do you always have to rain on my parades Katherine?" I ask with a glare "what do you mean it's not _possible_?" pack a couple bags, jump on a plane or ten; find a deserted island on the corner of nowhere and disappear. Sounds pretty damn possible to me.

"You can't run from Klaus trust me. I tried it for 500 years and he caught me, us, in the end" she turns to look at Stefan apologetically but he just shrugs and smiles at her. Honestly I really need to try and do something about my relationship with my brother someday soon.

"I spent 500 years living out of suitcases and wearing down expensive heels running from him. I had a network of people looking out for me and yeah I managed to escape him for a very long time but he still caught up to me eventually.

Klaus is _relentless_. He knows that Elena is alive and if you run he will hunt you; he will hunt us all down to the ends of the earth. There is nowhere you can hide from him where we won't be found" Katherine sighs sadly at the end of her explanation and I'm thinking maybe it's not so possible after all.

"Well what if Damon turns Elena?" Little Gilbert asks before I can even begin to respond to Katherine's rather confusing explanation. I throw Jeremy a glare because it's so not a good time to bring up that topic of conversation which has been discussed _never_ between me and Elena but he just carries on regardless and somewhat excited by his ingenious idea.

"I mean this Klaus douche needs a _human_ doppelganger right? So if Elena turns then she'll be of no use to him" I throw my hand up to my face and cover my eyes for a second. I mean, don't get me wrong the kid kinda has a point, it's not the worst idea I've ever heard in my life but it's absolutely not the time or place to be discussing this.

"Jeremy stop talking, please" I say throwing him an exasperated look before turning to Katherine quizzically. "Two questions, _why_ were you running from Klaus for 500 years? And how did you get caught?" I ask and turn around to take a seat beside Elena on the couch.

"Damon" Elena says my name quietly and I look down at her but she doesn't elaborate, looks might sad though "what's wrong?" I ask her quietly although I don't know why I bothered. It's not like everyone else can't hear us regardless of how quietly I speak but she just shakes her head "never mind" she whispers at me.

Well o-kay then. I'm confused. What happened? I turn back to look at Katherine who's staring at me like I'm a complete idiot but I'm not really bothered by her opinions of me so I just gesture towards her with my hands so she can get on with the damn story.

"The second question is easier to answer so I'll start with that one" she begins before turning to look at Stefan with that apologetic look on her face again. Stefan takes her hand and Katherine starts her story.

"I'd been running for so long. Alone for hundreds of years before I met you boys and when I met you I let myself get caught up in everything. I hadn't had any real _fun_ in so long and being with both of you; well my humanity got in the way back then" she looks up at me and then glances at Elena before continuing.

"I cared about you Damon I did, you were so much fun to be around and you reminded me of what life could be like, I knew that you craved the freedom so I turned you" I raise my eyebrows at her unlikely story but she just waves her hands at me and I don't speak.

"I fell head over heels in love with Stefan though and that was my downfall" she says with a wry smile "it was all of our downfalls actually. I got word that Klaus had heard of my gallivanting in Mystic Falls and was coming for me so I faked my own death. I let you and Stefan believe I was in that tomb; everyone had to believe I was in there. It was the only way I could ensure my survival but believe it or not I was trying to protect you both as well.

Klaus would have killed both of you instantly if he knew of your involvement with me or thought that you were in any way connected to the fire at the church. The night before I was 'captured' I fed Stefan my blood to ensure I would be able to see him again. You already had my blood in your system so I knew that you would be fine as well and well, you know the rest of that part of the story" she says with a shrug.

That I do, like I said Stefan and I tried to rescue her and we were shot for our troubles; by our father no less. Woke up and vampires were born. I nod my head at Katherine; story makes a lot of sense really.

"Doesn't explain how you got caught all these years later though" I say once I've processed everything.

"Love and loneliness Damon that's all. I was tired of running and so tired of being alone. I'd been running for so long that I was afraid of my own shadow and I was sick of living like that. I wasn't really living at all anymore and I missed Stefan desperately. I'd kept an eye on him over the years and eventually I just couldn't keep doing it anymore. So I found him in the 80's in New York and I told him everything.

I let my guard down, I was silly and I got us both caught for my troubles" she finishes her story sadly and a single tear runs down her cheek which my brother wipes away. Katherine shakes her hair out before looking back up at me with that steely determination that clearly comes to Elena through the Petrova _and_ the Gilbert bloodline.

"Love will ruin us all Damon" she says with a wry smile "you can't run from love and you can't run _for_ love. There is no running from Klaus, not when love is involved" she lets out a soft sigh and sinks back into Stefan's arms.

Guess she's probably right. Love might save the world but in this case it's probably not gonna save us.


	27. The Words We Left Unspoken

**A/N: As always thank you for your kind reviews and I hope you enjoy the chapter. **

**The Words We Left Unspoken**

_But brother how we must atone; before we turn to stone – Ingrid Michaelson_

When Katherine finishes the first part of her story I take a few minutes to consider what she's told us. Which is basically that she was running from Klaus for a long time. Got caught up in a barrel full of fun games between two brothers. Faked her own death and ran some more and then got caught. Got my brother caught along with her because she finally figured out that Stef was her one true love or some shit. Which is all fine and well and understandable but it still doesn't tell us why she was running in the first place.

"So what did you do to piss off Klaus?" Blondie asks my question for me and I throw her a grin which she returns.

"You know what maybe we should take a break from story time and get some lunch or...something" Stefan says giving Katherine a concerned look before turning to me with a 'do as I say' expression on his face. All right then I guess it's lunch time.

"Yeah uh, okay that sounds good. We'll take a break" I nod my head in agreement and Katherine breathes a little sigh of relief and smiles at Stefan. Elena jumps up off of the couch and walks straight through to the kitchen before I can stop her because I deliberately avoided having her go in there last night. The last time she was in there wasn't exactly the most pleasant of experiences. I hear her little gasp of shock as she remembers and I blur into the kitchen and spin her around to face me.

"Are you okay?" I ask studying her face intently. She looks up at me with wide eyes that are threatening to spill tears and I pull her into my body. "That's why I told you not to come in here" I breathe my words out into her hair. Bonnie, Caroline and Jeremy saunter through to the kitchen behind us "Damon Stefan wants to talk to you" Little Gilbert informs me.

I pull away from Elena and study her face again "you gonna be okay with your friends and Jer?" I ask her and she nods up at me sadly. I reach out and stroke her cheek with my fingers and then head back into the living room to see my brother. Katherine jumps up off of the seat "I'll just go, fix my hair or something" she says with a smile at Stefan and then flounces off up the stairs.

I raise my eyebrows at my brother "what happened to Katherine? She used to be a much bigger bitch" I say to him with a smirk. "I dunno Damon, what happened to you? You used to be a much bigger dick" he replies with a small grin. I turn my head towards the kitchen and then back to my brother "touché brother, what do you want? Kid said you wanted to talk so talk" knowing Stefan as I do I assume this is a conversation I'm going to want to be sitting down for so I take a seat on the couch and wait for him to speak.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you she wasn't in the tomb. It was wrong of me and uh, sorry for trying to vervain you as well" he says with a wry smile. I study him for a brief seconds before replying "oh don't lie Stefan you're not sorry; you hated me and you still do" I pause for a second with a sad smile.

I really do want to fix things with Stefan I'm just not entirely sure how to go about actually doing that "Damon" he cuts into my thoughts "I wasn't finished. For what it's worth Stefan I get it. I understand why you didn't tell me; hell I probably wouldn't have told me either had I been in your situation. I'm over and it and I've been over it since I jammed a stake in your side so let's just leave it okay?" I'm not even going to bother mentioning the attempted vervaining. He was under compulsion and I can't be too angry with him for trying to protect my girl albeit in a slightly misguided way.

"How did you two get caught anyway?" I ask him before he has a chance to respond to my previous statement or try to give me more apologies that honestly I probably don't deserve whether they're sincere or not.

"We were in Paris in 1994; apparently Klaus' little helpers had been tracking us from Vienna. They grabbed me when I was out hunting and Katherine got message telling her to turn herself over or I would be killed by morning. She came" Stefan shoots a smile in the direction of the ceiling "we've been under compulsion in some way or another ever since" he finishes his explanation and looks back to me.

"I'm surprised she came for you. She seemed pretty terrified of Klaus when she shared the gory details last night" I say remembering the sheer look of terror on her face when they told us it was Klaus who is coming for Elena.

Stefan smiles at me sadly "you haven't hear anything yet" he assures me "she is terrified of him. You all should be but she came for me yeah. Guess you'd have to ask her why but I'm sure you can work it out and like you said; she's not the biggest bitch on earth anymore" he says with a laugh.

"I resent that statement" Katherine says walking into the room with a grin and plopping herself down on Stefan's lap "I can still be a bitch, when the mood strikes" she says flashing me a grin.

"Well okay Queen B, thanks for saving my brothers' ass I suppose" I say with a smirk and stand up again "I'm gonna go check on Elena" I tell them and turn for the kitchen.

"Hey Damon?" my brother calls after me "yeah?" I ask turning around. "For what it's worth I don't hate you. Didn't back then and I don't now" I raise my eyebrows at him fractionally "okay fine maybe I hated you a little back then but I don't hate you Damon. I uh, I well, you know..." he trails off and gives me a small smile and Katherine laughs at his inability to find the words he needs but that's fine because I hear the things left unsaid. "Yeah I know Stefan, me too" I say with a nod and head off to find my girl. I suppose that could be what one calls a step forward on the path to reconciliation with my brother.

When I walk into the kitchen the little group are sitting around the table eating a pizza that someone must have dug out of the freezer. I steal a slice off of Little Gilbert's plate and get rewarded with a punch in the arm.

"Dude eat your girlfriends damn pizza not mine" he complains at me and Blondie laughs at him. "Your sister needs food more than you do, look at her" I say and jerk my head towards Elena and tickle her side "she's a bag of bones" I tease her but I don't get any response out of her, not even a smile.

"Damon I have to get home, Grams sent me a message saying she might have found something" Bonnie tells me excitedly "yeah yeah sure. We'll fill you in on whatever else we learn later, text me if anything important comes up. Elena would you come upstairs with me please?" I respond to Sabrina and head out of the room hoping that Elena will follow me. I don't know what's wrong with her but I intend to find out.

I hear her little sigh as I walk up the stairs and then Blondie whispers "just go talk to him Elena, I'm sure you're just being silly" what the fuck is wrong with Elena? I reach her bedroom and wander in and then turn around when I hear her coming up the stairs.

"What's wrong?" I demand when she walks into the room, she rolls her eyes at me "nothing's wrong Damon I'm fine. Come on let's go hear the rest of Katherine's story" she says and turns back to the door.

"Yeah" I reach out and grab her wrist and pull her back to me "tell your face Elena. What is wrong?" she yanks her wrist away from me and huffs another little sigh before walking over and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

She doesn't speak for a few minutes and I start mentally running through lists of everything that could be wrong with her. She's scared that Klaus is coming for her? She's worried about Katherine and Stefan being in town? She's annoyed that I stole her brother's pizza?

"Damon this isn't going to work" she speaks eventually with a sigh and indicates the space between. The space between _us_. My stomach lurches. What is she?

"What are you talking about?" I ask in an uneven voice. I can't even process. I can't even begin to consider that she's saying what I don't want to think she's saying because she can't. She can't be saying that.

She looks up at me with tears in her eyes and I feel my heart start to fracture "you, me, us. We don't work Damon, we can't work" she says and the tears fall from her eyes now and this time I don't move to wipe them away. I don't think I can move, actually. I don't understand.

How did we go from madly hot shower sex to us not _working_? What the hell happened in the few shorts hours that we've been here to make her think this insanity?

"Yeah I'm gonna need you to break that down for me Elena" I finally manage to form words and spit them from my mouth like poison.

"Well what does it matter Damon?" she barks out a painful laugh "even if we manage to find this dagger. Even if we somehow find someone who can miraculously kill Klaus. Even if I'm not sacrificed to break some stupid curse, what difference does it really make in the end? What's the point of this" she indicates the space between us once again and lets loose a heartbreaking sob. "If you don't want me to turn? Allow me to complete the _fairytale_ for you Damon, I _die_ in the end regardless" she spits her words out at me venomously and throws herself down on the bed and I am shocked. Baffled. Confused.

_That's _what's wrong with her? She thinks I don't want her to turn? Of course I realise that I've never told her I do actually want her to turn, told her brother but never got as far as actually having a conversation with Elena about it what with all the other shit going on.

And now I understand why Katherine looked at me like I was an idiot earlier when I realised something was up with Elena but couldn't work out what it was. Because when Jeremy brought up the suggestion to turn her I shut him down instantly.

Elena pulls herself back up on the bed and lifts her head to look at me "you see don't you? Do you understand what I'm saying Damon? We can't be tog-"

"Don't _say_ those words to me Elena" I bark out with a glare. My head is fucking spinning. My heart feels healed again because I know this is just a big bad nasty misunderstanding but I don't ever want to hear those words come out of her mouth. Doesn't matter if she'll only take them back I'll still have heard them and some things can't be unheard.

"But Damo-" I take a quick stride and place my finger against her lips to shush her. "Let me get this straight you _crazy_ woman. You think we don't work because you think I don't want you to turn right? That's the only reason?" she looks at me with sad eyes and nods her head, lips moving against my finger in a way that almost makes me forget the point of this so erotic a sight it is.

I shake my head a little to try and clear it from thoughts that can only lead us down the wrong path right this second and then pull her up to stand in front of me.

"Do you _want_ to turn Elena? We never talked about this which, for the record is why I told your brother to shut up earlier. Because I didn't want us to have our first conversation about it in a room full of people" I explain and watch the flickers of hope rise in her eyes.

"Well you know I hoped that I'd be able to grow up a little bit first, at least graduate high school or something but yeah I mean, I figured that one day I'd...that you'd want...that we'd...Uh, Jer has a point Damon. Me turning would solve pretty much all of our problems" she finally reaches her conclusion and a small smile finally breaks through the sadness lacing her face.

"Elena" I whisper at her before leaning down and kissing her deeply. She moans into my mouth and pushes herself against me and I wrap my arm around her waist pulling her closer and welcome her hot tongue into my mouth.

I pull away after a few seconds and lean my forehead against hers and she tugs my bottom lip gently between her teeth before pulling away from me. I don't let her get too far though and clasp my hands on either side of her face.

"Elena if it's what you wanted then I'd turn you right this damn second" I promise her while falling into chocolate brown fire filled eyes. She gives me a brilliant smile and opens her mouth to reply but she doesn't get a chance to speak.

"Yeah sorry to break up this happy little make-up session but you really _don't_ want to do that" I close my eyes for a second before turning to face our intruder. Katherine.

"And I suppose you're going to tell us why, aren't you?" I ask wryly. She nods her head and turns to leave "follow me" she calls back over her shoulder as she walks down the stairs.

I turn back to look at Elena "are we okay now?" I ask her softly and she smiles up at me "yeah, yeah we're fine" she replies and presses a gentle kiss to my lips before taking my hand and we walk down to hear the rest of Katherine's life story.

"So is this the part where you tell us how you pissed off Klaus?" Little Gilbert asks as he and Blondie stroll through from the kitchen. "Yeah" Katherine responds quietly "this'd be the part" she takes a seat back on the arm of the chair Stef's sitting on and he squeezes her hand gently in encouragement. I'm figuring this story's gonna be kinda tough. Don't know _what_ gave me that impression.

"In the 1400's I gave birth to a daughter in Bulgaria" Katherine begins with a glance at Elena "I don't know why exactly we look identical but I had a daughter and so on and so forth leads us to _you_. I was the shame of my village, of my family. When I gave birth my newborn child was ripped from my arms and then I was banished from my home.

I ran to England where I quickly adapted to the way of life and used my womanly wiles to encourage a local to introduce me to what we believed at the time to be the royalty and that's when I met Klaus and his brother Elijah.

Elijah was always rather infatuated with me but Klaus wanted me for something bigger, when I discovered what it was he planned to do to me" she lifts her head back up to look at Elena again "same thing he plans to do to you, I ran the hell away and I didn't look back. I tricked a local vampire into feeding me her blood and then I turned myself" she tells us simply and Blondie gasps in her seat beside me.

"You killed yourself?" she asks incredulously.

"Yes" Katherine replies with a shrug "it was either turn myself or be killed in some creepy ass sacrifice for some stupid curse that I had no interest in whatsoever so yes I turned myself and I _ran_. And I didn't stop running and I never looked back. I have a gift for survival, or did anyway" she says with a grin at Stefan.

"I returned to Bulgaria to try and track down my daughter and when I came to my family home I found them all dead. Bodies scattered from the ground to the front door throughout the house and my parents, slaughtered in their bedroom. It was malicious, it was cruel, it was my _family_.

He murdered my entire family and whoever else was unfortunate enough to be in his eye-line and he did it because I ran. He did it because I killed myself. It was my fault that they died and I promise you this now if you _turn_ her we will all be dead shortly thereafter.

All of your friends, all of your family. Everyone you have ever _met_ will be _dead_" Katherine sinks down on the seat on to Stefan's lap and he wraps his arm around her as she buries her head into his shoulder and I turn to look at Elena. Tears are rolling down her face and she looks deathly pale and when she looks up at me she just shakes her head sadly. I guess Katherine was right; we definitely can't turn her now.

"Did you find her Katherine, did you find your daughter?" Caroline asks softly and we turn to face Katherine again. Surely there must be some kind of a happy ending to this very unfortunate tale.

"No. I searched the village for her. Knocked on every door and spoke to every person but how do you find someone that you've never met? How do you find a girl when you don't even know what she looks like? I couldn't find her so I flipped the switch. I walked out of that village and I started running. I started learning to survive and I stopped caring. I stopped caring right up until I met Stefan and Damon and then I started caring again. And look how that turned out" she says with a roll of her eyes but she smiles all the same.

I wonder if there's a spell for locating lost children in the same way that there's a spell for locating your other half. Katherine's questions, 'how do you find someone that you've never met' 'when you don't even know what she looks like' strike a hard chord inside of me as they must also do for Elena because she reaches out and takes my hand in hers and squeezes gently.

I still don't know why Emily cast that spell on me and I probably never will but I'll be eternally grateful that she did. It looks like we're back to square one in our efforts to kill Klaus. We need to find this dagger now more than ever because we definitely can't run and we definitely can't turn Elena.


	28. We're Like Fire & Gasoline

**A/N: I think most authors who start a story have a particular scene in their heads that propel them to write and for me that scene is in this chapter, making this one of my favourite ever. I hope you enjoy the chapter; I hope you enjoy the new episode of TVD tonight and if you want to know what particular scene it is that I was talking about then you could always leave a review and ask. Or don't ask, I just love reviews! We're close to the end of Book 1! P.S – Some of you might recognise parts of this chapter from both the TV show & The Delena Diaries if you read that but I only own my own writing. **

**We're Like Fire & Gasoline**

_And I love you; I swear that's true  
>I cannot live without you – James Blunt<em>

The next few days pass by with relative ease; the lead Bonnie's Grams had didn't pan out so we're no further forward on finding the dagger but as the days and weeks flash by me way too quickly and we hit the beginning of the last week of my world I find myself starting to go a little insane trying to figure out what the holy hell I'm going to do to get us all out of this mess.

I don't understand how a world can work, don't understand how the world can keep on spinning, and I don't think I want to live in a world that gives you the girl of your fucking dreams and then snatches her away from you in the most cruel and horrific manner less than six months later.

I've come to my study to try and find a little peace and to give everyone else a little peace from my relentless pacing and ever-present, ever-building anger. I've been snapping at everyone and demanding answers that no one can give me. Like I said, I'm going out of my mind.

None of this makes any sense to me. The purpose of the dreams; that bigger thing that I was so very confident in, that I was so dead-sure of that I left my best friend to die; that I lay on endless roads for, that I lived for. That purpose, that destiny, that course was to protect Elena, to save her. I had one job, one mission, one fucking goal and that was to save her life and I _can't_.

Elena came to me a few days ago and begged me to promise that if something happened to her then I wouldn't do anything 'stupid'. I'm paraphrasing here but that's essentially what happened. She pleaded with me; told me that I have to _live_, that she couldn't bear it if something happened to me.

I did try to point out that she wouldn't exactly be around anymore to witness whether or not something happened to me but she wasn't exactly willing to listen to my point of view. She tried to use Jeremy and even Blondie against me; said that they would need me to be there for them, if, when, and then she cried and turned her eyes on me. So I promised her I wouldn't do anything 'stupid'.

I think it's the first time I've ever made a promise to Elena that I know I can't keep. Obviously I don't mean it; I mean that goes without saying really. And yeah, I hate lying to her but the conversation was getting us nowhere fast and as I said to her it won't really matter because she's not gonna know.

Really I'm down to one last option here given that there's no magical killing dagger in sight. Sacrifice can't go down if Klaus can't get Elena out of the house. He can't get inside the house so I'm just not going to let her out of it. Shouldn't be all that hard to keep the girl in the house for one night and it'll give us another month to try and track down the elusive dagger.

As far as we're aware Klaus is sending Katherine and Stefan to collect Elena on the night but they can't get inside the house either so at the very least we're getting a month's reprieve.

"Damon?" the study door opens and Bonnie walks into the room quietly. "I'm really not the best person to be around right now" I tell her and offer her a wry smile. She walks over and stands in front of my desk before lowering her voice.

"I've got it. We found the dagger Damon" she whispers at me and my eyes widen as I jump up off of the seat behind the table. "Where is it?" I demand whisper.

Bonnie opens up her bag and pulls out a small package wrapped in brown material, she puts it down on the desk gently before un-wrapping the fabric and looking up at me with a small smile as I look down at the dagger. It's nothing brilliant. Looks like a dagger as you'd expect it to really.

"How'd you get it?" I ask while I continue studying the thing.

It has a black grip, engraved with some fancy little etchings. Honestly I don't even really wanna touch the thing yet. Bonnie just delivered the answers to all of my prayers but it's also the weapon that's going to end my life so forgive me, if I don't want to pick it up just yet.

"Grams got it. I guess the witch came through in the end. She didn't really say much about the why's or the where's, just gave me the dagger and told me to be careful" Bonnie explains quietly and wraps the material back around the weapon.

I hear Elena walking towards the study and grab the package, throwing it in my desk-drawer. "Don't tell her" I whisper urgently at Bonnie and she nods once before Elena walks into the room.

"Is everything okay in here?" she asks curiously looking between Bonnie and me. Sabrina nods her head with a fractionally guilty expression on her face and I bound over to Elena and wrap my arm around her waist. I pull her into me and drop a kiss to her hair. "Everything is fine sweetheart. Come on let's go get some dinner" I tell her and lead her out of the room.

Everything is more than fucking fine. Everything is fan-fucking-tastic. I mean, excluding the fact that I'm going to die of course; but in this situation I am the least important thing in the world. Elena lives, survives, Elena exists. It's all that matters to me; it's all that's ever mattered to me.

I met her, I loved her. I protected her and in the end I'll be the one who saved her as well. I get to do my fucking job. I get to fulfil my purpose and I don't fail her in the end, I don't ruin her life and she doesn't die. In my book that makes it all worthwhile.

We spend the rest of the evening in a haze of laughter, alcohol and homemade pizza as demanded by the Gilbert clan and at some point over the course of the evening I make the decision that in the next few days I'm gonna suck it up; be a man and tell Elena that I'm goddamn head over heels crazy about her.

The next three days blur past me in a whirlwind and the evening of the sacrifice looms upon us like a foreboding cloud. There's a thick tension in the air everywhere I go but this is my last day of life and dammit if I'm not going to try and enjoy it at least a little bit.

Bonnie, Blondie and Jeremy have gone to the Gilbert house to fill Katherine and Stefan in on the plan that I shared with them last night before threating to murder them in their sleep if they whispered a word about it to Elena.

There's not much to it really; Elena stays in the house, I leave with Katherine and Stefan and dagger Klaus. Catch him by surprise, stick the dagger in his heart, shouldn't be all that difficult or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

Elena's plan is straightforward as well, but it's also sacrificial, suicidal and simply not an option. She plans to turn herself over when Katherine and Stefan come for her; give herself to Klaus and walk away from me like lamb to the slaughter.

Don't think we haven't fought about this. I was determined to keep her in the house and buy us both another month to live but she wouldn't hear any of it. She kept insisting that we wouldn't find the dagger either way and we just have to 'accept our fates'.

Honestly the only reason we didn't fight about it more is because I knew it made absolutely no difference what her plans were anyway. However, this is not a night for that so now that it's just me and Elena in the house I really am going to love her like there's no tomorrow. Give her something to remember me by because I do not want to become a memory that fades away and dies.

She looks up at me when I walk into the living room, the fire burning bright behind her and casting reflections off of the fading daylight and there is such a sweet softness lingering in her eyes.

I walk towards her silently and pull her to her feet before leading her to the front of the fireplace and wrapping my arm around her waist. She tangles her fingers with mine and leans her strawberry-scented hair against my shoulders and we sway together from side to side to the silence surrounding us save for the relentless ticking of a clock that counts down the minutes I have left with Elena.

I spin her away from me and back in where I capture her lips with mine and her mouth welcomes me home with red wine, cherries and tiny little fragments of heaven. I pull her back against the wall and knock the clock off of the cabinet; sending it shattering to the floor so all I can hear is the silence and the skipping but steady and soothing beat of her human heartbeat.

Elena pulls away from my mouth and bites down gently on my bottom lip before stroking her tongue delicately across it and I shiver against her. "Bed, now" she demands in a husky voice. Your wish; my command.

I pick her up and she wraps her legs around my waist and while I run her to our bedroom she leans in and presses whisper soft kisses into my neck.

Once we arrive in the bedroom I drop her down gently on the bed and she lets loose on her sexy throaty giggles and I give her a predatory grin before tearing my clothes off quickly. I come to kneel in front of her and run my hands underneath her cherry print sundress from thigh to breasts before slipping the dress over her head and pushing her down gently on the bed.

I kiss my way from her mouth to neck, shoulder to breast bone before taking off her bra and resuming my journey. My tongue flicks across her nipples and I nip gently against them when they form tight little peaks under my mouth. I blow soft kisses on the area of her side that sends shivers running through her body and I rip her panties away to suck and lick "Damon p-p-please" she whimpers at me.

"Shh Elena, I'm concentrating" I tease her. "Damon! God please I need you inside me" she gasps down at me and honestly I do not have to be told twice.

I flick my tongue quickly across her clit and she shakes again before I make my way back up her body and position myself at her entrance and when she reaches up and kisses me I plunge myself inside her and revel in the moan that fills my mouth.

I lock her hands behind her head with one hand and she wraps her leg around my waist and pulls me deeper inside and I feel like I'm trying to stay above water. I drown in her eyes until I realise that I'm going to come right this second if I keep looking into those eyes so I close my own and rest my forehead against hers before finally starting to move inside her.

Her warmth, wetness and divine tightness welcome me back as if I am the missing piece of her. Nothing in this world compares to the feeling of Elena surrounding me; nothing compares to how it feels to be inside of her.

My eyes open again and I find myself starting back down into deep brown eyes that have owned me since the first second I saw them and then I don't know anything anymore.

All I know are weightless words, wet, soft, hot beauty that is the closest to heaven I will ever come.

"Damon, Damon please" she begs underneath me and I press a kiss to her lips and use my fingers to stroke her clit. She shatters to pieces around me in a rush of "Damon" tangled words and her orgasm pulls mine with it as I explode in a haze of stars and fireworks and in endless timeless limitless periods I give Elena everything that I have, everything that is mine but has always really been hers.

I roll over quickly on the bed so I don't collapse on top of her but I pull her along with me because I'm not ready to be apart from her yet.

"Damon that was…" she leans down and kisses me. "Earth-shattering" she finally decides on a word and kisses me again with a smile. "Yeah, yeah it kinda was" I whisper against her mouth. Fucking life changing is what that was. I don't know what it was but it certainly wasn't just sex. And then all my best laid plans go to hell.

"Ugh" I groan and lean my head back on the pillow. "They're back" I tell her. Elena flashes me a guilty look as she realises what the time must be and jumps off of me and the bed quickly, rushing around and pull her clothes back on.

"Calm down Elena, they've only been home for two seconds" I tell her as I get up to find some new clothes. "I know but I wanted to spend some time with Jer" she explains as she goes for the door. "Yeah, good luck with that 'Lena" I call out after her and shake my head.

Little Gilbert is not exactly on speaking terms with his sister right now which let me tell you, has made this place hell of a fun to live in the last few days. He's obviously as on board the 'I'm going to sacrifice myself' plan as I am and he's been begging Elena to see reason for days but when he realised he wasn't getting anywhere he just stopped talking to her altogether.

He knows my plan of course so he knows that she's going to be fine just like I promised him she would be but I think he's still plenty pissed off at her for coming up with the ingenious idea in the first place. I hear Jeremy stomping off to the den and when I get to the living room Elena is sitting with Blondie and Sabrina.

Katherine and Stefan are loitering at the bottom of the front steps and my brother smiles at me sadly. I nod my head towards him and feel thankful that we sorted things out to some degree before I die. I'm glad he's got Katherine; boy needs someone to look after him.

"Damon, can you come here for a second please?" Little Gilbert shouts on me from the den.

"I'll be right back" I tell Elena and she smiles up at me and nods so I leave to see Jeremy.

"What's up kid?" I ask when I walk into the den and he turns to face me with an apologetic look.

"I'm really sorry man"

Sorry? Sorry for.

Fuck. _Fuck_.

I run back to the living room and through to the front door where I run smack bang into an invisible barrier that is not. letting. me. out.

Elena is standing outside the front door. On the other side of where I can get to.

"Tell me you didn't do this to me Elena. Tell me you did not fucking do this" I shout at her and she flinches slightly but holds her ground.

"I'm sorry Damon, but it's the only way" she tells me with a sad smile.

"Let me out of the fucking house Bonnie. Now" I demand but she just glances helplessly at Elena.

"I'm sorry Damon but it's her choice" she says and then walks away from me to stand by Katherine and Stefan who look absurdly confused.

"Elena" I lower my voice. "You have to let me out of the house sweetheart" I try pleading with her but it gets me nowhere.

"I'm so sorry but I have to go" she whispers and tears run down her face as she turns away from me.

"Don't do this to me Elena please don't do this to me. Elena! Elena come back right fucking now. Elena! Don't do this to me!" I scream and shout after her and when she gets to the bottom of the stairs she turns back to face me one last time.

"I love you Damon" she says so softly and then she disappears into the darkness of the night and I think I'm going to just drop down dead right now with the fucking pain piercing my heart.

"I love you Elena" I whisper under my breath to a girl who'll never get to hear me say it.


	29. It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn

**A/N: Ah, my poor Delena heart is full of feels after watching the new episode which I'm not going to spoil but would love to talk to anyone and everyone about! I know I promised a lot of you that this chapter would have all the answers but I got confused, that's next chapter (sorry!) but hopefully you will all enjoy this one all the same. **

**It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn**

_I will always choose you – Damon Salvatore_

I was going to tell her earlier, after the sex that was more than sex but then everyone came home and I didn't get a chance and now I never will, now she'll never know.

I lean my forehead against the invisible blockade and try to gasp air into my lungs. This cannot be happening. I have to get out of this fucking house. How did she do this?

"Bonnie! Bonnie Bennett I know you are out there I can hear you. You come back here right this fucking second and let me out of this goddamn house" I scream out into the black night but Bonnie doesn't appear.

"How can you do this?" I yell at her. "You're sending your best friend off to _die_. She's going to die, do you understand me?" I continue my tirade. If I can just get out of this house right now then I can make it on time I know I can. She just needs to let me out of the fucking house.

"Please Bonnie I am begging you. I am on my _knees_ begging you to just _let_ me save her. Please I can do this I know I can just let me save her" I plead and beg and I am on my knees. I don't know if I can ever get back up because she's not letting me out of the fucking house.

After what feels like long minutes or hours but is probably only seconds Bonnie finally comes out of the darkness. "I'm really sorry Damon" she cries at me "I have to go" and then she turns and runs back into the night. I roar unintelligible words after her but she doesn't come back and after a few minutes I manage to pull myself upright again.

I need to.

I need to drink. I need to think. I need to understand. I need to drown. I need to die. I need to feed and feed and feed until I can't fucking _see_ anymore.

I need to rip someone's head off. I need to murder my brother. How could he do this to me? How could he take her from me?

I need to snap ten thousand necks. I need to burn this town to the ground. I need to burn this house to the ground. I need to destroy the world. I need to rip it apart.

I need to.

I need to flip the fucking switch.

I try. I really do try. I try to flip the switch harder than I've ever tried to do anything in my whole damn life but I can't. I can't flip it because it's fucking broken. She broke it and she's gone and she can't fix me.

So all I know is _rage_.

I snap my head up when Jeremy begins to walk towards me with his hands held out in front of him.

"Damon"

I flash my fangs at him, veins running underneath my eyes as I step towards him menacingly. "You need to get the _fuck_ away from me before I do something we both regret" he looks at me with a terrified expression and hurries away as quickly as he can from my line of sight. Must be something I said.

I need someone to let me the fuck out of this house. But I'm stuck here. I wonder how long she plans on keeping me trapped in here. I walk over to the alcohol tray and drink straight from a bottle of bourbon and then I turn and hurl the entire thing into the fireplace.

It's not enough.

I pace and slam my first through the wall over and over and then I rip my piano to shreds and the wood slices in my palms and I relish in the letting of _someone's_ blood. I don't know how long I pace and cause destruction to my house because I broke the fucking clock earlier.

I feel like a caged beast. Why won't she let me out of the fucking house? I spin around wildly to face my brother when he comes rushing into the house.

"You can't be in here" I tell him dumbly.

"You have to go outside. You can't be in here. You've not been invited in. Stefan you can't be in here" I move towards him and he looks at me sadly.

"I'm sorry Damon she-" I snap his neck to cut his words off and he didn't even have time to blink. God I do love that sound though. Next in line please. I move towards the door but I still can't get out.

"Bonnie you come here and let me out right now and I _promise_ not to kill you" I shout out into the night. I know she's still out there somewhere; I can hear her.

Only I don't have time to think about that, I don't have time for that to matter because Katherine is walking up the stairs. And she's carrying Elena. My Elena. Elena is in her arms.

Elena is dead. Elena is dead.

I take unsteady steps backwards and hold my arms out against Katherine as if she can somehow make it go away, make it not true. And then I sink to my knees on the ground because it is. It is true. Elena is dead.

Katherine lays Elena down in front of me and I growl at her before scooping my beautiful girl into my arms and laying her down on the couch. I sit back down on my knees beside her and take her hand.

This cannot be happening. This is a very, _very_ bad dream. The very worst kind of dreaming. The ones where you just know that you're dreaming but you can't wake up. That's what this is. That's what this has to be. There's really no other option.

"Damon I'm sorry" Katherine says softly, placing her hand on my shoulder. I drop Elena's hand and stand up.

"Stop. Touching me" I say as I snap her neck in a flash.

I don't know where Caroline and Jeremy are but if they know what's good for them then they'll stay the fuck out of my way. I walk back to the front door where Bonnie is standing outside on the steps.

"It's done Damon, you can come out now" she tells me softly.

I take two quick strides towards her and flash her a predatory grin as fear washes over her face and she takes a couple of shaky steps backwards. The demon in me demands to have her blood. The monster in me demands that I snap her neck or rip her heart out. I reckon I could probably do it before she managed to witchy-migraine me.

But the sane part of me; the humane part of me; the man in me knows that she is my friend. That she is, that she was Elena's best friend and that I can't kill her so instead I run away as quickly as I can. I run through the forest and smash my hands into trees at the same time. I think I may have knocked a couple of them over actually.

I need to get the fuck out of this town. I need to get far, far, far away from here. When I hit main street Mystic Falls I find a very unfortunate drunk man wandering down the road. Unfortunate for him that is.

I dart towards him and before he can even register I sink my fangs deep into his neck and I relish in the scream he lets loose. It gets cut short when I tear his throat out. I revel in the thrill of the kill. I delight in the embracing of the darkness and for a brief second I look around for my next potential meal.

And then I just feel sick.

I run towards the quarry and drop the dead guy to the bottom of it and then I come to lie down on the road that my dreams were made on. My dream is dead and gone. Elena is gone but I don't want her to be angry with me; I don't want to let her down.

And killing hapless strangers walking down the wrong street at the wrong time is letting her down. I'm not that person anymore, haven't been that person in a very long time and I don't want to let her down.

So instead I'm going to lie on this road and stare at these stars and I'm going to remember the girl of my dreams. I take my ring off and place it on my chest so that when the sun rises I can just burn and die on the dream road, and I'll do it without failing her again.

I want to go back to the start. If we could just go back to the start then I would tell her that I love her. It truly hurts my shattered heart that she never got to know that. That maybe she died believing that I didn't. Tears begin to escape my eyes at that thought and I've never wished for anything more in my life than I have just to be able to flip the fucking switch.

I fill my mind with pictures of her.

Elena on a dark starry night just like this. _"Please don't make me forget." _Elena crying in a cemetery because she_ missed_ me. Elena in a black lace dress. _"I feel like I belong with him." _Elena questioning me. Elena brushing her lips gently against mine. _"Are we together?" _Elena kissing me on this very road. Elena crying as I told her my history. Elena smiling and laughing and dancing with her friends on her birthday. Elena in holy fucking wow lingerie giving herself to me for the first time.

After that I can't think anymore.

I am weightless and I will blow away with the sun. I fill my head instead with the nothing that surrounds me and I listen to the sounds that I heard for all those nights in all those dreams.

It is so much easier to focus on the nothingness. Lose myself in the stillness of the night than it is to think. Thinking hurts too much. My heart hurts _too_ much. Is it possible, to die from a broken heart? I guess for a human it is but I don't know if it is for a vampire. Sure fucking feels like it though.

An indeterminate amount of time passes by. Time passes and then there is a weight on my chest. There is a weight on my chest and a scent that smells _just_ like Elena. I open my eyes and find her face smiling down at me.

"Are you real?"

I shake my head and bark a laugh at myself. "What am I saying? Of course you're not real"

I must be hallucinating and there we have an answer to the question I asked way back when. I am living undead proof that vampire _can_ in fact, lose the plot.

I stand up in a flash and hallucination Elena falls to the ground with a bump.

"You are not _real_" I scream at her.

"You're not real. You're not real" I shout at her.

"You're not real, you can't save me. You're not real" I whisper at her and then I fall to my knees on the ground once again.

I fall because I think she actually _is_ real. I fall because Elena is _alive_.

Elena is alive and I?

Well, I'm burning on my knees on the ground because I took my ring off and now I'm going to die and it'll be like some fucking twisted version of Romeo and Juliet and our fucking destines that were written in the stars are going to burn out miserably because I can't fucking remember where I put it.

"_Damon!_ Damon oh my god Damon" Elena screams and runs over to me; throwing herself around me and somehow she miraculously stops the burning. How'd she _do_ that? Is she _magic_?

"Damon? Damon are you okay?" Elena asks reaching up and clasping my face in her hands.

I glance down at my hand which has my ring firmly back in place. How did she? Where did she?

"I landed on it when you dropped me on the ground you big jerk" Elena answers my unasked questions with a grin and rocks back on to her knees on the ground.

"Elena?" I whisper at her and reach out to stroke her cheek with my fingers.

"I'm here Damon. I'm here and I promise I'm real. You're not dreaming" she says softly and takes my hand and places it on her chest above her heart. "Listen. Feel. I'm real Damon I promise"

I listen and I feel. I hear her steady human heartbeat and once again let it perform its healing powers on me. See? I knew she was magic.

"I killed someone" I whisper at her.

O-kay, that is totally not the first thing I wanted to say to her. On my list of 'Top 100 Things To Say To Elena When She Magically Returns From The Dead' "I killed someone" does not even rank in the top _50_. But that's what came out so I guess I'm just gonna have to roll with it.

"Okay" Elena replies simply. She doesn't look entirely surprised by what I've said although she does look rather sad about it.

"I don't _like_ it Damon but I knew it was a possibility and I'm sorry if it makes me a bad person but it's a risk I was willing to take to save your life" she reaches out and takes my hand in hers and gives me a sad little smile.

Yeah, well we'll deal with that in a minute; there are much more important matters to attend to first.

My mouth descends on hers and I demand entrance and moan like a girl when her tongue swirls around mine and we reconnect in a perfect harmony of twisting and twirling tongues as I kiss her long and deep until eventually she pulls away gasping for breath.

Elena jumps to her feet and holds her hand out for me but I am not moving.

"Damon?" She looks down at me quizzically, "aren't you coming?" she asks in a confused tone.

"Nope" I reply popping the 'p' and shaking my head to emphasise my point.

"O-kay, why not?" she asks looking down at me again and I jump to my feet and take a couple of steps towards her. There must be a predatory gleam in my eye because Elena backs up a little as I get closer and I grin at her.

"Because this is where I want us to make up from our _second_ fight"


	30. The Beginning Of The End Maybe

**A/N: Don't worry it's not really the end, there's still a whole other book to get through. This is the penultimate chapter of Book 1 though and hopefully everything ties together nicely in this chapter and the epilogue to follow. **

**The Beginning Of The End. Maybe**

_He loved her of course, but better than that he chose her, day after day  
>Choice: that was the thing – Sherman Alexie<em>

Elena lets loose a little giggle at my words. "Damon this is so _not_ our second fight" she points out with a sly grin.

"Maybe not, but it'll be the biggest one we ever have and that makes it the second in my book" I tell her and come to a stop in front of her. "Wouldn't that make it the first?" she asks, tilting her head to the side in mock-confusion. Girl is _exasperating_.

"Elena, I'm not fighting with you about fighting with you. Please, tell me how you are alive?" I ask her softly and we can both hear the plea in my voice. Elena raises her hand to my cheek briefly before smiling and sinking down to the ground again. She pats the road next to her indicating for me to sit down beside her but I sit in front of her instead and she lifts her wrist to my face.

"Elena? I don't need blood sweetheart" I say in gentle confusion and push her arm away from my face but she just laughs at me again.

"I wasn't offering Damon, the bracelet" she says pushing her wrist back up to my face again.

The bracelet. I gave her the bracelet. My mother's bracelet; why is she showing me the fucking bracelet? Is this supposed to mean something to me? Elena huffs at my dumbfounded expression and pulls her hand away, dropping it back down on to her lap.

"The bracelet brought me back Damon" she explains oh-so-simply but just leaves me more confused than ever. How the fuck did a _bracelet_ bring her back?

"Don't you remember? I told you that Bonnie thought it was spelled" she reminds me and well now that you mention it Elena, yeah I do remember. God that was weeks, months ago and I just assumed it was a shock that Bonnie got and then I completely forgot about it.

"My mother's bracelet was spelled?" I ask for confirmation quietly and Elena nods.

"Yeah like the Gilbert ring, I guess" she replies with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"What do you mean you _guess_? You didn't _know_ this?" I demand.

"Damon, Damon" Elena lifts her hands in front of her, "I'll tell you everything just please, promise not to get mad until the end of the story okay?" she asks me in a calm voice and I frown at her but really I just need to know things so I will agree to almost anything right now.

"Yes fine, okay, I promise to wait until the end of the story" I say and indicate for her to continue.

"Okay well, I knew that you were planning on being the one to dagger Klaus and I couldn't let you do that, obviously. I promised you that I wouldn't let you die and you must be insane if you thought that you could get away with killing yourself for me" she begins her explanation with a low growl at me.

"How did you know?" I ask her because I am _convinced_ that no one who knew my plan would have told her and I'm also convinced that the stunt she pulled last night took more than ten seconds to master-plan.

"Because I know _you_ Damon; I knew it from the minute you promised me that we would find another way the day we read about the daggers in Jonathon Gilbert's journal" Elena gives me a little smile while I stare at her in shock. She's known since _then_? She's been planning this for weeks.

"I had to find another way Damon" she adds with a simple shrug as if it's the most obvious conclusion in the world.

"So your other way was what? Coming up with the most twisted fucking _game_ of the century?" I leap up off of the ground shouting and start pacing in anger. She has _played_ me for months. Deceitful, malicious, I don't...this isn't Elena. This can't be _Elena_.

"Damon! Damon you _promised_ not to get mad until the end of the story" Elena shouts at me. "Please sit down. I couldn't tell you Damon and if you'll just listen then you'll understand why" she pleads with me and catches me with her eyes. I sit the fuck down.

"At first I didn't know what to do and then one day Bonnie was playing with my bracelet and it shocked her again. She was convinced that there was a spell on it and she thought that we should investigate. So we searched through Emily Bennett's grimoires because she thought it was logical to assume that the bracelet was spelled by the same family of witches and it was. Bonnie doesn't entirely understand the spell but we figured out enough to realise that it seems to work in a similar way to the Gilbert ring spell"

Elena stops to take a few deep breaths after rushing through her explanation before continuing.

"When we went to the lake house I convinced Bonnie that I should turn myself over to Klaus. We'd come up with a plan to stop you from trying to kill yourself and the bracelet would bring me back to life. Then when you started freaking the heck out because I wanted to sacrifice myself I had to do something to calm you down so I had Bonnie's Grams create a dagger that looks like the real ones and Bonnie gave it to you" she looks at me apologetically.

"Elena please stop for a second" I say before she can continue speaking because I just need to take a brief pause right here. My mind is _blown_. She really thought of fucking everything didn't she? She gave me a fake dagger so I would stop freaking the ever loving fuck out. But I'm still waiting for the part where she explains why she didn't tell me, and why she risked her life on a guess.

"Please continue" I say with a nod at her.

"Last night I had Bonnie cast the spell on the house to trap you inside and I had Jeremy call you to the den so that I could run. I really am sorry Damon" she says with a sad smile. Uh-huh, we'll get to that I'm sure. I nod at her again.

"Katherine and Stefan took me to Steven's Quarry and Klaus was waiting with his witch. He released Katherine and Stefan; granted them their freedom. Then the witch chanted a whole lot, Klaus bit me and drank my blood, I…the bracelet brought me back" she tells me with another brilliant flash of a smile. "That's really it Damon" she finishes with a small smile.

That's it? She thinks that's _it_? She's been fooling me for weeks, no; _everybody_ has been fooling me for weeks. She witchied herself a fake dagger, spelled me inside a house and all the while she's been dealing with her own potential death and I was what? What the fuck was I doing? Oh right, I was being played like a fool and she thinks that's _it_.

"Elena" I grit out through my teeth because I know she'll just shout at me more if I break my promise again.

"I have three questions, please be a nice girl and _answer_ them. Number one: why didn't you tell me? Number two: how the _hell_ did you convince everyone to go through with this? And last but by _no_ means least; why the holy fuck did you risk your life on a _chance_?" I demand in a tone that is only millimetres away from shouting.

"Okay first of all don't shout at me" she replies and raises her eyebrows at me. I wasn't shouting. It was a tiny gap I promise.

"Second of all, it wasn't a fool-proof plan Damon. It was hope, it was a chance but we didn't _know_. You would never have let me go through with it. Can you honestly sit there and tell me that you would have risked my life on a chance? We didn't know for sure it would work so don't even try to tell me that you wouldn't still have gotten yourself killed all the same"

Well, she does kinda have a point there. Even if we had known for sure that the bracelet would bring her back I still don't know if I'd have been able to let her go and I'd have died when I tried to murder Klaus with a fake dagger. That would have been _shit_.

Elena catches my wry smile and knows that I get it. I do. I get that, what I don't get is this.

"Why didn't they tell me after? I would have known there was a chance then; I would have had some hope Elena" I tell her almost desperately and she takes my hands with a little huff.

"Really Damon, because from what I woke up to and the words that Jeremy shouted after me I hear that you weren't really in the mood for _talking_ to anyone" she says with a glare and I grin a little sheepishly at her.

I guess she does kinda have a point there too, but I'm still far from happy about it. Not quite as full of raging anger about it as I was but I still don't _like_ it.

"I convinced Bonnie to go along with it, she was the hardest one to persuade because she knew that there was only a chance the bracelet would work like we were hoping it would but I eventually wore her down and convinced her that it was my choice.

After that it was simple. I promised Jeremy and Caroline that it would work; that it was exactly the same as the Gilbert ring and I would come back and we could save your life in the process" she looks absolutely delighted with herself and I feel decidedly guilty for scaring the ever loving fuck out of Jeremy earlier on. He got played by his sister as well.

"And it worked, as you can see" she says with a grin while she points at herself.

I open my mouth to repeat the final question but she places her finger on my lips before I can speak again.

"Damon I know okay? I know what you're going to say but I was willing to risk it Damon, it was a chance I had to take because I would rather die than have you be dead. That's what life and love is about Damon, it's about taking chances, risks, making bad decisions and hoping for the best outcomes and I'd do it every single day. I'll sacrifice myself a thousand times over for some lame ass curse just to have you sitting here in front of me"

I start to feel myself falling again. I should be pissed off. I am supposed to be pissed off, but those words and the love shining in her eyes takes pretty much all of the fight out of me.

I have to clear my throat before I can speak again but Elena just starts talking at me once more.

"Damon, you promised to wait until the _end_ of the story" she says with a giggle and a sly grin and I already know what she's doing but as previously noted I am all outta mad. I just want to get her home and make glorious love to her all day long so I play along with her.

"Okay Elena" I say with an exaggerated sigh. "What's the end of the story?" I ask.

"I'm alive, and I love you"


	31. The Feeling Of Falling

**A/N: So this is the epilogue of Book 1, I really hope you're all going to stick around for Book 2 because this journey is far from over, thanks to all of you who have reviewed along the way so far, I'd love to hear from any of you so please do review. Thanks also to the guest(s) who review; I really do loving hearing from you. **

**The Feeling Of Falling**

_You're lucky you know, no one's ever loved me the way you're loved – Rose_

"_I'm alive, and I love you"_

Elena stares deep into my eyes, or maybe I stare deep into hers I don't know because all I do know is that I'm drowning again. She's alive. She's alive and she _loves_ me.

I know she told me last night but I figure it doesn't really count because this, this is the first time that Elena tells me that she loves me. This will be remembered as the first time. On this road, underneath the burning sun of a new day; fingers pressed gently against my lips with eyes full of fire and light and voice laced with passion and desire and love.

"I love you, Elena" I whisper at her. "I love you so much" I raise my voice. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before but I will spend the rest of _forever_ telling you how much I love you every single day if you'll let me" I promise her.

"Damon Salvatore, did you just _propose_?" she asks with a grin and a giggle. I leap up off of the road and pull her up with me before wrapping my arm around her waist and dipping her down to the ground.

"No sweetheart, when I propose it will be _much_ different I assure you" I whisper into her ear and a shiver runs through her body before I pull her back up to stand before me.

"I like the sound of that" Elena replies softly before locking her arms around my neck and pulling herself up to kiss me. Her tongue wraps around mine and I kiss her long and deep before she pulls away.

"Let's get home, the others will be worried about you" she says with a soft smile. Yeah, I guess I might have some apologising to do.

When we arrive back at the house everyone is sitting in the living room waiting and they all let out a collective sigh of relief when we both walk through the front door together.

Stefan leaps to his feet instantly and strides over to me before wrapping his arms around me. "Brother" he greets me quietly and I pat his back rather awkwardly because I can't _remember_ the last time I hugged my brother. "Sorry about breaking your neck Stef" I say when he pulls away but Stefan just shrugs.

I turn to Jeremy and give him a grin. "Sorry for freaking the heck out of you Little Gilbert" I tell him and he barks a laugh at me. "Just glad you're alive man" he replies with a slight shrug but his emotions are clear in his eyes. I'm guessing we're going to need at least, oh, three of my best bottles of bourbon and 50 hours of Halo before he wraps his head around this whole situation.

I look across the room to Bonnie. "So I hear you were a vital component" I reach out and wrap my arm around Elena's shoulder and pull her into me. "Of the most diabolical plan of the century that my girlfriend here managed to come up with" I say with a grin at Elena.

"I can't say that I approve of your methods but I definitely approve of the outcome so, I'll forgive you and you let the nearly killing you thing go, sound good?" I ask with a wry smile on my face and Bonnie looks part-relieved and part-amused by my question.

"Uh, yeah, I am sorry though Damon" she says sadly and I shoot her a smile. "All is forgiven Sabrina" I reassure her and she smiles back when I use her nickname and then I turn to the final, or almost-final victim on my personal hit-list tonight.

"Katherine, I'm somewhat apologetic for snapping your neck" I tell her with a grin and everyone laughs. Well, everyone except Katherine that is who just huffs at me and then shoots me a wry smile.

"So I hear Klaus granted you your freedom" I say with a glance at my brother and Katherine.

"Yeah. Released us from the compulsion, _thanked_ us for our 'loyal' service and said we were free" Katherine summarises bitterly for me.

"Good" I reply simply with a nod. I might have a diabolical plan of my own in mind and a free Stefan and Katherine could absolutely come in handy at some point in the future.

"Are you two sticking around the place for a while or do you got somewhere better to be?" I ask and Stefan and Katherine look at each other for a few seconds. Can they fucking read each other's minds or something? If so I totally want in on that action; what I'd give to be able to read Elena's mind some days.

"Yeah we're gonna stay for a while, got nothing better to do with our time" Stefan replies with a grin.

"Only we'll stay in the house in town. I think you've got a full enough house as it is" "And I don't like noisy teenagers waking me up in the morning" Katherine interjects with amusement. I gotta say I am glad they're not staying here. I'm going to run out of bedrooms soon if I have any more guests. Seriously though, as much as I might have made progress in my relationship with Stefan I don't think I'm quite ready to play house with him or Katherine.

"It would be kinda nice if Elena invited us in when you sign the house back over to her though" Stefan adds with a smile at Elena. She looks up at me as if questioning whether I am going to give her the house back and I nod down at her. Safest thing for everyone involved really. Just in case any old vampire decides to come and track her down again.

"We'll take it under consideration" I tell Stefan and everyone laughs.

"Okay well not to be crude or anything but could everyone kindly get the hell out of our house because my girl here and I have some _serious_ making up to do" I say with an evil grin and Elena bats me lightly in the arm before burying her face in my shoulder to avoid the people laughing at her and stop them from seeing her blush.

"Dude come _on_ that's my sister" Jeremy complains at me but he grins all the same and stands up to leave. "Come on Care, you can stay at my house tonight" Bonnie says and Katherine and Stefan stand to leave as well. "We'll talk soon brother" Stefan calls back as they walk out of the door.

Bonnie comes to a stop in front of Elena and me and when everyone walks out of the house she waits for Elena to come out of hiding before speaking.

"Are you mad at me Elena?" Bonnie asks quietly while I flash Elena a confused look.

"Why would she be mad at you? Seems to me like you did everything right?" I say with a mock-glare.

"She wasn't supposed to let you out of the house until I woke up, or didn't, as the case may have been" Elena explains. "But no, I'm not mad at you Bon of course not" Elena adds with a smile and leans over to hug her friend.

"Wait, why did you let me out then?" I ask more confused than ever.

"Well, because you snapped Stefan and Katherine's necks in less time than it takes to blink and I knew if I left you trapped in here then you'd either tear the house down around us or you'd end up hurting Jer or Caroline so I thought it was best to let you out before anything else happened" Bonnie explains with a small smile.

"But I nearly killed _you_" I point out in an incredulous tone.

"It's a risk I was willing to take" Bonnie replies with a simple shrug and I look between the two girls for a couple of seconds.

"What is _with_ you two? Is there nothing that you won't do for the men you love?" honestly they must be _made_ of sacrificial bones.

Bonnie turns a little red and I realise a few seconds too late that I may have let the cat out of the bag as far as her affections for younger Gilbert are concerned.

"And Caroline" Bonnie reminds be pointedly. "And the answer is no, there's nothing we wouldn't do" Elena says leaning up and kissing my cheek and I smile at her.

She steps forward and gently turns Bonnie away and pushes her towards the door. "Thank you for everything Bonnie I love you, goodnight" she calls with a giggle and when Bonnie is outside the door she slams it shut and turns to face me, biting down on her bottom lip.

"Did I tell you that I love you?" she asks with a giggle and comes rushing over to me, throws her arms and legs around me and thrusts her tongue inside my mouth. In a blur of shapes and a breath of air I've got her in the bedroom where she tears herself away from my mouth with a breathless gasp.

Elena takes a backwards step and studies me for a second before striding towards me and running her hand gently down the side of my face before unbuttoning my shirt and slipping it off. The room around us is utterly sounding and all I can hear is the pounding of her heartbeat which skips when she slides my jeans off and finds me naked underneath.

I look down at her with a predatory smirk and she takes a step back again before pulling her dress over her head. "Hey that's my part" I tease her and reach out to pull her into me and she smiles a lovely little smile up at me.

"Lie down on the bed Damon. Let me love you" she whispers into my ear. My heart gets tight in my chest and a shiver runs through my body at her words. I lie down on the bed. Quickly. I so wanna be loved by Elena Gilbert.

I watch as she slips herself out of her creamy bra and panties and then comes to straddle me. She leans down and her hair falls in curtains around our faces as she kisses me deeply and leaves leftover hints of chocolate and cherries in my mouth when she pulls away.

She nips at my bottom lip with her teeth and then runs her tongue across my mouth before making tracks with her lips, teeth, tongue all the way down my jaw line, neck, arms. She runs her hands over my chest and flicks her tongue against my nipples and when she takes my dick in her mouth for the very first time I nearly jump off of the bed at the overwhelming desire, passion, lust that runs through me.

She slides her mouth up and down my length, once, twice and then wraps her tongue around me and "I can't, Elena please" I breathe out at her. "I have to be inside you" I tell her and she lifts her head up to look at me with a sly grin before manoeuvring herself back up to my face.

"I love you" she whispers at me and then slides herself down on to my cock and welcomes me back with divine heat and wetness. "You're so fucking tight 'Lena" I groan at her, feels goddamn incredible.

I look up at the heavenly picture that is Elena riding me; nothing has ever looked better than she does on top of me and I reach out and grasp her ass in my hands as she works herself torturously slowly up and down on my cock.

"You are so beautiful, I love you" I tell her when she looks down into my eyes and she gives me a glorious smile and leans down to kiss me.

She gasps into my mouth when I move my hands to her hips and begin to help her move on top of me and she lifts her head back up again. "God Damon, so good" she moans as she begins to roll her hips and grind down on me in the most erotic sight I've ever seen in my damn life. If this is being loved by Elena Gilbert then I want if every fucking day and night, though there is one thing that would make it even better.

"Elena, I need you to come for me" I tell her. "Please come for me" I move one of my hands to her clit and run my thumb across her gently once, twice, three times and she shrieks my name and begins to shake on top of me as her orgasm ripples through her and _that_ is the most erotic sight I've ever seen in my damn life.

While she's still shuddering on top of me I flip her underneath me because otherwise I'm just gonna lose it and I'm so not ready for this to be over yet. I drive into her hard and fast while she struggles to catch her breath from the last orgasm before falling head over feet into the next one.

"Damon fu_ck_" she screams at me and bites down into my arm. "S'all right baby, no one's in the house. Be as loud as you like" I tell her with a grin, I sure as hell don't mind.

I slow down my movements a little to give her a chance to recover and slide gently as deep as I can before pulling almost completely away and then doing it over and over and over again until she's gasping and shaking underneath me again. Her legs clench around me and I lock one of my hands above her head while the other comes to tangle itself up in my hair and then she smiles up at me almost nervously but with that steely determination burning brightly in her eyes again and I fucking love today.

"Damon, bite me" she whispers at me and tilts her head to the side so I can get access to her neck. I let of her hand and tilt her face back towards me.

"Didn't quite hear you sweetheart" I tease her with a grin and she moans at me. "Bite me Damon, please" she half-demands in a sexy as all fuck voice and turns her head away from me again.

I let my fangs descend and pierce her neck as gently as possible; her body jerks into mine the tiniest fraction before she relaxes as I pull her heavenly blood into my mouth.

I am lost. I do not know. I have not felt. There are no. I am lost. Mind. Blown.

Elena's blood flows into my mouth and it is honestly like tasting fragments of heaven, it's like drinking from an angel. I have never tasted.

I can hear Elena but I can't decipher the words as she shakes and gasps and moans and bucks underneath me and her fingers pull wildly at my hair as I start to move inside her again and with one final long pull of her blood and one last thrust I explode inside of her and Elena's orgasm rips through both of our bodies like a tidal wave until I know nothing again.

I am lost. I do not exist. I am love. Love has consumed me.

"I love you" I manage to gasp out against her skin when I dislodge my fangs and drop my head into the curve of her neck. Elena holds me to her and strokes her fingers gently through my hair and then down my shoulders, back, and presses kisses into my arms.

"I love you too" she replies with a promise and I pull my head back to look at her. She reaches up to make traces on my face again and her eyes widen as she smiles and runs her fingers along the veins under my eyes. "You are so beautiful" she whispers at me before I return my face to normal. I give her a wide smile and finally pull out of her and wrap her up in my arms. "You are beautiful" I tell her.

"That was…" she looks up at me with a smile and searches for an answer so I provide it for her. "Mind blowing" I tell her with a grin.

"Will it always be like this Damon?" she asks me, "between us?" and I look down at her and press a kiss to her forehead before looking her right in the eyes.

"No baby, it'll only get better" I promise her.


	32. The Diabolical Plan

**A/N: Hello readers, and welcome to Book 2 of Dreams In Technicolor. This is where the story dovetails into a (semi) original plot line although it does rely on various parts of the later seasons of TVD as you'll see as we go along. Unfortunately I do not own the Vampire Diaries, I'm just borrowing the characters and that is my disclaimer for Book 2. Please read, hopefully enjoy, and don't forget how much I love reviews! **

**The Diabolical Plan**

_Yeah truth be told I'm as evil as it gets – Klaus_

Welcome back to the story of my life.

Sadly it's not going to be a very long story. We'll be lucky to get a few paragraphs out of this one. It's not going to be a very long story because I am lying in the front hall of my house. And I am dying.

But allow me to take you back a little bit. Let me take you back a few weeks and I'll tell you how we got ourselves into this very unfortunate mess.

After the night of mind-blowing sex with Elena everything was _fine_. Everything was more than fine. Everything was fan-fuckin'-tastic. There was laughter. There was happiness. There was much more life-changing sex. There was bonding between brothers, friends and frenemies alike.

Bonnie and Jeremy finally got their act together and confessed their mad devotion for one another and as such they have been hanging around the place like a couple of love-sick puppies but they just add their nausea to mine and Elena's and Katherine and Stef's relationship when they are around so it's not altogether unbearable. Actually I couldn't be happier; those two are kinda great together. The only relationship-less person is Blondie, we could probably do with finding her a nice man sometime.

Caroline has moved permanently into Casa Salvatore-Gilbert. Elena came to me one night a few weeks back all nervous like, chewing on her bottom lip and asked me if it would be okay for Blondie to officially move in.

I reminded her that it's technically her house and if she wanted to blow it up with dynamite then it wouldn't really be up to me but more to the point I had no issues with Caroline moving in as long as on the nights that I need it to be just me and Elena she clears out with the rest of the gang and it made Elena happy so I was happy.

Plus I got rewarded with hugs from Caroline and Elena and then the house cleared out so she could spend the night showing me just how thankful she really was.

Bonnie went back through the cookbook that she found the bracelet spell in and while she was trying to figure the damn thing out she found a note tucked into the back of the book. A note from my mother.

Bonnie brought it straight to me and told me she hadn't read past '_My Damon,'_ and I took the letter, thanked her and headed directly to the study to read it.

I won't go into the overly emotional details. Certainly not while I'm dying because it's already pathetic enough but my mother wrote to tell me that one of her very best friends was a witch; I'm assuming that it must have been Emily Bennett's mother although I never met her. Regardless she had her friend spell the bracelet in a similar way to the Gilbert rings.

Basically it means that if my one-true-love dies of supernatural causes then the bracelet will bring her back to me. She wrote that she loved me, that she was proud of me and that I deserved to experience true love. She told me to cherish the girl of my dreams with everything that I have and everything that I am. And I do.

I showed Elena the letter and there were tears. Her tears, my tears, all mingling together and we sat in the study in front of the fire all night long, Elena tangled up on my lap and we held each other while I reminisced about my mother and my human life and told her tales of my childhood and my family and that pretty much brings us up to now.

There is a local watering-hole in town called the Mystic Grill and today I arranged to meet Stefan and Katherine there for a drink and a place where we could speak relatively privately. I may have mentioned that I had a diabolical plan of my own back on the night of the sacrifice, if you remember.

I don't know why anyone thought that there was a hope in hell I was going to let the Original bastard who killed Elena _live_. But as the weeks passed and I didn't mention anything about it I think they figured I'd let it go. I hadn't; but I was all good with everyone thinking that.

Getting to the point; I met my brother and Katherine in the Grill and filled them in on my plan, which was effectively very simple; find a way to kill Klaus and do it. Katherine burst out laughing at me and told me I was crazy before going to get another round of drinks from the bar and I turned to Stefan.

"So what say brother, care to join me on a probable suicide mission to rid the world of one Original Klaus Mikaelson?" I ask him with a wide grin which quickly fades when a flicker of pure unadulterated fear flashes through Stefan's eyes and he tries very, very hard to stop his head from moving to find out where Katherine is.

"Well now, that really _would_ be a suicide mission" a voice that I have never heard before speaks from my left with a low chuckle and I lean my head back against the wood of the booth we're sitting at before turning around to face our intruder with a low groan.

"Klaus, I presume" I say looking up at him. He doesn't look like much to be honest, not that I really know what I was expecting but he just looks like, well he looks like a regular guy. 'Bout my height, kinda skinny with dark blonde hair and regular features; nothing all that scary about him really.

"And you must be Damon Salvatore; I've heard so much about you" Klaus gushes with fake sincerity.

"Really? That's odd because I've heard so little about you" I reply with equally fake sincerity and try to work out what the hell he wants, what the hell to do about it and how the hell to get out of here while Klaus turns to Stefan.

"Where is the lovely Katerina?" he asks with a sly grin at my brother and Stefan's eyes go a little wild until Katherine taps Klaus on the shoulder.

"I'm here Klaus; what do you want?" she demands with fiery steel in her eyes and the hint of a tremor in her voice.

"Don't worry love I'm not here for you. You're all going to need to come with me now" Klaus demands in a tone that invokes no questioning. Well, I guess we're going with Klaus then.

When we get outside he looks around the street before directing down the alley behind the Grill. He instructs Katherine and Stefan to stand at the entrance and not move. I'm unclear on whether he tried to compel them or not but it wouldn't matter either way because we're all ingesting vervain on a daily basis. A new, nasty habit put in place for the 'just in case' day that Klaus or anyone else decided to show up in town again. I guess that day has arrived.

However for reasons that are unknown and even less understood my brother and Katherine just stay put. They don't run even though god knows they should have, but they stay, they don't move and then Klaus turns to me.

"Nothing personal mate, I just need some incentive" he tells me with a sly grin and then his face changes. It is like nothing I have ever seen before, his eyes burn and flash golden and his fangs descend and drip venom and I suddenly realise that I'm in big fucking trouble.

He is a _wolf_. He is a vampire, _and_ a wolf. How is that even possible?

Then I don't have any time to think anymore or question anymore because Klaus rushes at me faster than I can blink and sinks his fangs deep into my neck. He bites down and damn near rips my throat out and then I'm just in agonising pain.

I have never felt such pain. Klaus backs away from me and I sink down to the ground. I'm vaguely aware of what's going on around me but there is a cloud; a fog in my head that I can't see or think around clearly. This is much more painful than the burning in my brain from Bonnie's witchy-migraines. This is more painful than the torture I went through in the cell.

The pain is everywhere. It consumes my body like a wild-fire and I know I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't _live_. I have been bitten by half of a werewolf and half of a vampire and I am going to die.

I listen as Klaus instructs a distraught Stefan and a shocked Katherine to bring me back to the house and when we get there they carry me inside and place me in the hall. We invited them in don't worry, Elena is fine. She's in the house somewhere and as long as she doesn't go outside then everything is going to be fine.

And as such, we come full circle to where we started.

Welcome back to the story of my life.

Sadly it's not going to last much longer. I definitely got more than a few paragraphs out of it though; you can all thank me later.

"Oh little doppelganger" Klaus sing-songs from the front door as my brother comes to sit beside me in what I can only presume is an attempt to comfort me.

"You're going to want to come and see me" Klaus shouts a little louder.

"Elena" I somehow manage to bark out through the pain. "Stay away" I demand and then dissolve into a nasty fit of coughing and spluttered blood.

"Might want to conserve your energy there mate; I bit halfway through your bloody neck" Klaus advises me without bothering to conceal his amusement. Yeah. I'm fucking _aware_ of what you've done to me thanks.

"What do you want?"

Elena.

I close my eyes against the vision that must be Elena in front of me because there is no way that she walked through here. There is no way that she is stupid enough, or that Little Gilbert, or Blondie, or Sabrina are _stupid_ enough to have let her walk through here.

Unfortunately apparently they are all stupid enough because when I open my eyes again they are all standing beside Elena looking partly terrified and partly confused.

"There she is! You are supposed to be dead" Klaus talks to Elena with a grin on his face. "Not to worry, we'll rectify that soon enough" he assures her.

"'_Lena_ go a-way" I grit out between my teeth through the haze of pain and fog in my brain.

"Oh please don't love. See; as I said, you are supposed to be dead and because you are so clearly not dead I am having a slight issue with creating my hybrid army" Klaus explains with a twisted smile.

What the fuck does he want a goddamn _army_ for?

"You're invincible. Nothing can kill you. You don't need her Klaus" I hear Katherine spit out viciously and I could actually hug that girl right now. If I could move that is.

I do try and move. I try to get to Elena but I can hardly move an inch and all it does is leave me throwing up more blood with tears streaming down my face and Stefan gently holding my shoulders to keep me still and Elena turns to look down at me sadly before turning back to Klaus.

"Now see Damon here is going to die very shortly love. I've bitten him and as you can see a hybrid bite is not only excruciatingly painful but it is also _lethal_ to a vampire. I however, can sort out this little mess very simply" he tells Elena with another twisted smile.

"What do you want?" Elena demands again with steely determination lacing her voice.

"Very simple really. My blood is the cure for your Damon so you come out here; I'll kill you and be able to create my hybrids, Damon gets to live to see another day. Everybody wins" Klaus explains and I thrash against my brother to try and attempt to get to Elena and the sacrificial bones she's made of.

"I want you to cure him first" Elena replies in a shaky voice.

"Elena, no" I bark out. God but I need to stop talking, so much fucking pain. My entire body is burning; my veins feel like they are being scorched.

"Stefan" I grit out and spit up more blood. "Stop her" I beg him but he just shakes his head and looks at me helplessly.

"I don't think so love. I cure him and then you barricade yourself in the house. That's not the way this game works I'm afraid" Klaus responds to Elena's demands.

"Elena please it's fine, just come and kiss me goodbye" I breathe out at her and try to force some air into my lungs but Elena doesn't come and kiss me goodbye. Elena doesn't even turn to look at me, actually.

"I give you my _word_" she says passionately staring up at Klaus. "I will let you kill me. Just please, heal him first" she pleads with Klaus.

This cannot be happening to me. This is fucking _pitiful_.

"You are so willing to die for this one man?" Klaus asks after studying Elena intently for a few seconds and his tone comes across as sincere or the first time since he started speaking.

"A thousand times over" Elena promises him and I close my eyes.

If I could just force myself into dying right this very second then this wouldn't need to happen. She's inside; she's safe.

"Caroline, bring me a glass please love" Klaus turns to Blondie, how does he even know her name? I flash a pained look of confusion at Stefan who just shrugs in response and then Blondie comes flying back with one of my crystal glasses and passes it to Klaus. He bites down into his wrist and pours some of his blood into the glass before handing it back with a quiet thank you to Caroline.

Blondie gives the glass to Elena and she comes and sits on her knees in front of me and brings the glass to my lips.

"Drink" she insists. "No Elena" I manage to whisper out at her and try to move my hand to push the fucking thing away from me. I'm not drinking this. This cannot happen.

Elena raises her eyebrows at me. "Drink Damon" she demands again and then flashes her eyes quickly towards her wrist and back up again.

Her wrist. Oh sweet relief. Her wrist. Her bracelet.

I forgot about the bracelet for a second. I close my eyes again to try and hide the relief in them and when Elena lifts the glass back to my mouth I drink.

I feel the blood coursing through my veins and healing me although I still can't actually fucking move. But it's getting better.

"Okay love say goodbye, let's get on with it" Klaus demands in a cheery voice and I glare at him.

Elena presses her fingers to my cheeks gently before standing up and walking outside with a brief glance at Bonnie. Elena tilts her head up at Klaus and stares at him with burning hatred in her eyes and I have never been prouder of her; such bravery in my girl.

Klaus smirks down at Elena and then tilts his head as if he's considering how to kill her and I really don't know if I can watch this happen even though I know for sure the bracelet will bring her back.

And then Klaus snaps his fingers, as if he's forgotten something and then turns to me with a wide grin.

"Yeah, that'll be needing to come off now" he says and before I can even blink or try to react he's ripped the bracelet off of Elena's wrist and throws it to the ground in front of me.

"I know all about your magical little bracelet" he tells Elena with a smile.

"No. No. No no no no" I shout. "Elena get back in here" I demand.

I can't fucking move. I can't move. I try. I try really fucking hard and I can't move and Elena shoots me an apologetic look.

"You'll be fine now. I love you" she whispers at me.

And then my life passes in slow motion as Klaus tilts his head at her again. Shrugs his shoulders.

And then he snaps her neck.


	33. Has No One Told You She's Not Breathing?

**A/N: Thanks so much for the response to the last chapter especially to the guests I can't thank personally. As a general warning I should probably tell you that Book 2 is a bit more angst-y than Book 1 was. Regardless I hope you all continue to enjoy reading and reviewing. **

**Has No One Told You She's Not Breathing?**

_If I smile and don't believe, soon I know I'll wake from this dream – Evanescence_

Klaus drops Elena to the ground at his feet and I lurch forward but I only get as far as landing on my knees before I begin dry heaving on the ground and screaming.

"Bonnie now" Caroline shouts at Bonnie who immediately starts chanting unintelligible words.

Please, please tell me they are not doing this to me again.

"Elena" I shout and force myself to my feet, taking unsteady steps towards the front door and tears begin to stream down my face again while I make indecipherable noises that linger somewhere between a scream and a dying moan.

I can't get out of the door. She's trapped me. Again.

Klaus pushes Elena's body back inside with his foot and grins at me. "Thanks for all your help" he says before promptly disappearing and I fall to the ground again and clutch Elena to my body like a life-line.

"You are not dead. You can't be dead. This isn't happening. No. No. No. No no no"

I scream out an endless, limitless supply of 'no's' until I finally register a hand on my back and a voice trying to soothe me.

"It's okay Damon, it's okay. Shhh, it's okay" Caroline whispers at me.

"It's not okay it's not okay. It's not _okay _Caroline" I scream at her.

"Do something Bonnie! Somebody do _something"_ I beg and look up at my friends, my brother and Caroline gives me a small smile.

"Damon" she says softly, and something clicks inside of my head as I look down at Elena in my arms and then back up at Caroline.

"Please Caroline. For the love of all that is holy tell me that Elena had a diabolical plan this time. Please. I am begging you to tell me that right _now_ Caroline" I plead with her. Let it be true. Please let it be true.

Caroline smiles down at me softly and I feel hope begin to rise in my chest and the shackles surrounding my heart begin to break free as the tears fall in uncontrollable rivers because she did. She must have. I don't know how or why or what but she must have because otherwise there is no way that Caroline would be standing there _smiling _at me.

"Please Caroline" I gasp out at her. "Please make it better" I beg her.

"It wasn't exactly a _diabolical_ plan Damon, Klaus just turned up before anyone could tell you" Blondie says with a shrug and turns to flash Katherine a grateful smile before looking back down at me.

"Katherine texted us when Klaus showed up in the Grill, said he was in town and probably heading straight for our front door and to do something about it"

I look up at Katherine who smiles down at me and I think I actually will hug her when I can get back up off of the ground again.

"Elena asked me to feed her some of my blood. She's going to be fine Damon; she's going to be one of us. I get to actually have a best friend forever now" Blondie explains with a wide grin and bounces up and down on her heels a couple of times.

I drop my forehead down to Elena's and my tears flow down on to her face until I eventually manage to stop them.

She's going to be fine. She's going to wake up. She's going to be a vampire. God but my girl is quick at thinking on her feet.

After long minutes I eventually realise that I'm still sitting on the floor silently with my head pressed against Elena's while everyone else is standing around staring at me with slightly worried expressions and waiting for me to say something so I look up and give them a shaky smile.

"She's going to be fine brother" Stefan smiles down at me and I nod back up at him before standing up with Elena in my arms and carrying her over to the couch.

I sit down on the floor beside her and kiss the wet tracks from my tears away from her cheeks before brushing the stray tendrils of hair away from her face and then I take her hand. I'm not _moving_ until she wakes up.

"Did she at least tell you this time Little Gilbert?" I ask Jeremy who is standing beside me looking down at his sister with a scared expression.

"Yeah, yeah she told me" he replies shakily and sinks down to the floor beside me, resting his back against the couch at Elena's head and I reach out with my free hand and pat him on the shoulder a couple of times.

"She'll be fine. She's going to wake up I promise you" I reassure him and he gives me a small grateful smile in return.

"Sorry for locking you in the house. Again" Bonnie says and pats my arm before taking a seat somewhere behind me.

"I'm guessing Elena might have had something to do with that. Again" I say and turn to look at Bonnie and she gives me a sheepish grin.

"Yeah she said if we could then to keep you in the house. Obviously we didn't know exactly what was going to…never mind I'll let her explain" she cuts herself off abruptly when the look on my face obviously clues her in to the fact that I'm not quite ready for the details of Diabolical Plan: The Sequel.

Stefan flops down onto one of the armchairs and Katherine sinks down gracefully on top of him and wraps her arm around his neck. "Thanks Katherine" I say and flash her a smile, she rolls her eyes at me in response.

"What can I say?" she asks with a shrug, "I guess I'm not the biggest bitch in the world anymore" she concludes with a grin and I nod.

"Damon? Should I go get Elena some blood for when she wakes up?" Blondie asks me and I turn to look at her.

"Yeah, bring a few bags, some glasses. There's a box; bedside table, my side. Bring it to me please and don't _open_ it" I give Caroline instructions and she disappears in a blur and I turn back to my girl.

I don't know how much time has passed since Klaus snapped her neck but it normally takes around an hour or so to wake up in transition. Caroline comes back with the blood and she pours a bag into a glass for me which I accept gratefully and drink quickly. She hands me the box "I didn't open it I promise" she tells me with a smile.

"Sabrina, can you work a little hocus-pocus on this please?" I ask and pass the box over to Bonnie. She takes it and snaps it open with a gasp.

"Damon this is"

"Beautiful yeah, I know. Thanks" I finish with a grin.

"So spell it, pretty please. So that the lovely Elena and I can walk together in the sunshine for eternity" I say with a wide smile. My girl is gonna be a vampire. I get to keep her forever. I couldn't be fucking happier and I guess it's contagious because Bonnie giggles and gets on with her chanting.

"Will you turn me now?" Jeremy asks, snapping his head up to look at me and I burst out laughing.

"Uh, let's deal with one transitioning vampire at a time Little Gilbert" I suggest with another laugh. "Besides I think that might be a conversation you wanna have with your sister before we make any final decisions" I add with a grin and Jer nods his head in agreement.

I turn back to Elena and press a kiss to her forehead and we sit in comfortable silence while I stroke her hand gently with my fingers and wait for her to wake up. At some point Bonnie passes the ring box back to me and I slip it into my pocket and then I start to worry that it's taking too long.

I sit up on my knees and stroke Elena's face gently with my hands. "Please wake up sweetheart. Come on Elena, wake up" I whisper to her and then with a gasp for breath she does just that and jerks herself upright.

"Damon?" she breathes out, her eyes darting a little wildly around the room.

"I'm right here baby. You're fine, you're safe. Everything is going to be okay" I promise her and stroke her hair down her back gently. She throws her arms around me and buries her face into my neck, inhaling deeply and taking unsteady breaths for a few minutes until she finally pulls away and looks into my eyes.

"You smell _divine_" she tells me with utter sincerity and I can't help the smirk on my face. When Katherine bursts into a peal of giggles behind me the rest of the room dissolves into laughter along with her. Elena raises her hand to her face as if she can hide from everyone when she realises what she's said.

"Oh god" she mumbles under her breath and buries herself back into my neck and only comes out of hiding when everyone finally stops laughing.

"I'm so sorry" Elena says reaching out and touching my cheek with her fingers. "There was no time, I couldn't tell you" she says sadly and I press my finger to her lips. "Shh, it's okay I know. You did good sweetheart I'm so proud of you" I tell her sincerely and she smiles at me.

"Katherine messaged" she continues regardless with a smile at Katherine. "She said that Klaus was here and that he would be coming for me" Elena shrugs helplessly. "There was no other reason for him to be in town other than because I didn't die properly the first time around. Katherine told us to do something and I knew that there was a chance he would know about the bracelet so I asked Caroline to feed me her blood in case he made me take it off. Of course, I wasn't expecting him to have _bitten_ you! Are you okay?" she demands, twisting her head this way and that and studying me intently for injuries.

"I'm fine I promise, all better now. I told you I'm not that easy to get rid of" I remind her with a smile and she grins at me and clasps my hands in hers.

"Well anyway it all worked out fine in the end. I told Bonnie to keep you in the house if she could. Sorry, again. But I knew that if you thought I was really dead and wouldn't listen to anyone then you'd just end up getting yourself killed" she finishes her explanation with a wry smile and a big rush of air.

Most of it I'd already worked out on my own anyway but Elena clearly felt the need to get it all out and who am I to deny my girl anything. I squeeze her hands and press a gentle kiss to her lips before pulling back.

"I promise I'm not mad. I understand, but you need to drink some blood now okay?" I ask and gesture for Blondie to bring me a glass. Elena looks around the room at all of the faces surrounding her a little wearily and I take the glass from Caroline and put it down on the table beside us.

"Okay well, thanks for dropping by folks. I'll take it from here" I say standing up with a grin. "Come on, everybody out" I laugh and usher them all towards the door with my hands. "Come by sharp in the morning, we have lots to discuss" I call out of the door as Katherine, Stefan, Blondie and Bonnie trail down the steps and then I turn back to Jeremy.

"Little Gilbert go have a sleepover with your girlfriend for the night" I tell him with a grin and nod my head towards the door but he just stands in the middle of the room looking back and forth between Elena and me.

"I think I should stay" he finally speaks up. "Elena might need…or I could…she might want…you…" Jeremy tries to find words to say what it is that he needs but before I can reply Elena jumps up from the couch and pulls her brother in for a hug. Hopefully she won't try to eat him.

"Jer I promise I'm fine. Damon will take care of me okay?" Elena says pulling back to look at Jer "but it hurts, and it's hard and I don't want you to have to see me in pain like that. So please, go stay with Bon for the night and I'll see you in the morning and we can talk properly okay?" she asks him gently and he nods his head.

"Yeah, yeah sure 'Lena if that's…what you want" Jeremy replies quietly and gives her another quick hug before turning to leave but I stop him at the front door. "I will take care of her" I promise him with a smile and he smiles back at me and nods before joining Bonnie outside and I close the front door and turn to my girl.

"How do you feel?" I ask her.

"Like I died" she replies dryly and then grins up at me.

"God but that _hurts_. Having your neck snapped I mean" she tells me with a grimace and shakes her hair out. "I feel okay I guess. A little weird like…I don't know how to explain it I just feel a little, disconnected. And hungry" she explains with a small laugh.

"Damon what are we going to do about Klaus?" she asks me worriedly and I come to stand in front of her. "Shh, tomorrow's problem" I tell her and kiss her forehead softly.

"I just want to do one last thing and then I'll drink the blood okay?" she asks looking up at me with a smile. "What is it Elena?" I ask quietly.

"One last human kiss" she replies and reaches up to capture my mouth with hers. Her tongue gently demands entrance to my mouth and when I open to her she envelops me in warmth and wine and sunshine.

She reaches up and wraps her hand around my neck; fingers tugging down on my hair as she grinds her body against mine. I forget how turned on newbie vamps can get but I am all for that so I wrap my arm around her and she lifts her leg up around my waist to pull me closer before she tears herself away from my mouth with a sudden gasp.

"Stefan" she blurts out.

"Uh…wrong brother, sweetheart?" I think I question her in abject confusion. She did say Stefan, didn't she? Am I hearing things?

Elena's hand flies to her mouth and she takes a few shaky steps backwards until she hits the couch where she sinks down on it in a flood of tears and I rush over and sit down in front of her on my knees.

"Elena? Did you want…did you want me to get Stefan?" I ask her quietly but god I am confused. What does she need Stefan for? She shakes her head at me though as I reach out to wipe the tears away from her cheeks.

"Compulsion" she whispers at me and it finally dawns on me what's happened. She must have relived the memory of Stefan compelling her after he. After he saved her life. The night her parents died. God I completely forgot that was going to come up.

"Yeah well, my brother always did have impeccable timing" I say with a small smile at Elena who fortunately finds some humour in the situation and smiles back at me a little.

"He saved my life Damon. My daddy told him to save me and he did but it was too late for them" she wrenches out a heartbreaking sob.

"He saved me Damon and I've never even said thank you" she begins to cry harder and I wrap her up in my arms.

"Hey it's okay" I promise her "you can thank him tomorrow" I tell her and come to think of I don't even think I have thanked my brother for saving her life. Done it in my head countless times but I don't think I've ever actually said it out loud.

I hold Elena in my arms for a while longer until she nods her head against my shoulder and collects herself before pulling back to look at me again.

"You really _do_ smell divine though" she tells me with a little giggle.


	34. Imprinted On Angels

**A/N: So I know I said yesterday that this story is angst-full and it is but this chapter is just basically a full on fluff fest, so hopefully you enjoy that before we enter rocky territory! Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews – apologies for all the heartbreaking I've been accused of doing recently! **

**Imprinted On Angels**

_Your voice as beautiful as the waves crashing around my heart  
>I'm infatuated with thisInfatuated with you  
>I just want to feel this way forever<br>I remember your face/Imprinted on angels – Poison The Well_

"Well let's get this down you and then we can see about you sinking your sexy new fangs deep into my neck" I say with a smile at Elena and pick up the glass of blood on the table.

"Now remember, just like we did with Caroline okay? You have to try really hard, for me; sip all right?" I tell her and she nods up at me, eyes still shining a little from her tears but with traces of fear in them as well.

"Hey you're okay, you're gonna be fine. I'm right here with you, let me take care of you" I whisper to her softly and her face lights up a little with the smile she gives me. Elena takes a big gulp of the blood and then thrusts the glass back into my hand and shrieks as her fangs pierce through her gums.

Her hand flies up to her face as if she can somehow stop it from hurting and I put the glass back down and wrap her up in my arms again. I whisper nonsense into her hair, ears, neck and press soft kisses on her head as I hold her tightly while she screams and cries and finally slumps down on top of me.

I hold her against me for what could be hours but is probably only minutes after she calms down and eventually I shift a little to bring the blood back to her. She looks at it with big terrified eyes and I smile softly at her.

"Don't worry it won't hurt again" I assure her. "It's only the first time" I flash my fangs at her quickly and put them away again. "See, no pain" I say with a grin and she smiles back a little weakly but brings the glass back to her mouth and we spend another hour or so learning how to moderate our drinking.

"Damon I'm exhausted" she says twisting her head to look at me. "Please take me to bed" she asks with a sleepy yawn and I scoop her into my arms and rush upstairs with her while she giggles into my chest.

When we reach the bedroom I deposit Elena gently on the bed and slowly strip her out of her clothes, pressing soft kisses to every inch of bare skin that I reveal and revelling in her breathy little gasps and the shivers that course through her body.

"Damon" she whispers at me sleepily, "I really am exhausted" she tells me almost sadly with a small smile and I reach up and kiss her gently. "Shh, let me take care of you" I whisper into her ear and move her up the bed to lie down on the pillows. She is a goddess, a vision of ivory and hazelnut and creamy skin against golden covers and I imprint her image in my mind, she is an angel, and she is all mine.

I kiss my way up, down, across her body until she's shaking against me and then I finally plunge my fingers deep inside her sweet, wet core and use my thumb to stroke her clit until she comes apart around my hand with a shudder and a shriek that fills my mouth.

When I pull my lips away from her I watch as the veins ripple underneath her eyes and her fangs descend before she lifts her hand to her face to try and hide herself from me. Yeah, nice try Elena. I pull her hands away from her face gently and tilt her chin up so she meets my gaze.

"Don't hide from me. Don't ever be ashamed of who you are. You are _beautiful_. You are…" I stumble as I try to find a word that is _enough_ for how insanely beautiful she is as a vampire. I didn't think it was possible to love Elena more but now that she's a vampire the impossible has happened.

"You are incandescent" I decide eventually, fucking love that word.

"I love you" I whisper at her reverentially and run my thumbs underneath her eyes and across the veins as she's done to me so many times before and then press a gentle kiss to them.

"Stunning" I whisper on one side. "Glorious" on the other.

I kiss my way down her cheeks and stroke one of her fangs with my tongue. "Radiant" I whisper against her mouth before stroking the other fang. "Sexy. As. Hell" I tell her with a grin and let her fang pierce my tongue so the tiniest drop of my blood flows into her mouth.

"Oh god you _taste_ divine too" she moans with a sigh and then looks at me curiously.

"How do I put them away?" she asks me with a laugh and I grin at her.

"Just focus on the breathing. Let your heartbeat calm you down, focus on being in control" I advise her and watch as she breathes in and out slowly and steadily until the veins and the fangs disappear.

"Good girl" I tell her warmly "bedtime now" I say with a final kiss to her forehead and when I've divested myself of my clothes and safely closed the curtains to block out the sun in the morning I finally climb into bed beside Elena and she wraps herself around my body and falls asleep quickly to the sound of my slow and steady heartbeat.

I wake Elena early the next morning with her very own cup of coffee and blood but she seems altogether more interested in drinking in my naked torso than anything else.

"See something you like?" I tease her with a smirk and her tongue darts out to like her lips as the veins ripple under her eyes before she pulls herself back under control again. Actually I'm madly impressed. She's less than fourteen hours old and she's already controlling herself, around me no less. Maybe I should be more disappointed than impressed, come to think of it.

"Always" she breathes out at me with a nod and big wide eyes that scan my body and the veins come back out to play. Okay, maybe I'm not losing my touch after all.

"Here I brought you breakfast" I tell her and hold out the mug for her. Her nostrils flare slightly when the scent of the blood hits them and she grabs the mug from me and drinks thirstily.

"Sip baby, control remember" I tell her gently and tip the mug away from her a little.

"But it's so _good_ Damon" she says looking up at me with big pleading eyes but unfortunately I can't give her what she wants this time.

"I know 'Lena but remember, if you're a good girl you get to play with your fangs around my neck so _sip_" I tell her with a flash of my eyes and a grin and she looks suitably enthusiastic and then she sips.

"I never thought I'd say this but there is almost nothing better than the feeling of this blood flowing through my body" Elena says as she looks up at me with hints of surprise and disbelief written on her face.

"Welcome to the dark side baby. It's hella fun" I tell her with a wide grin and she giggles before putting the mug down on the bedside table. She clambers over on the bed and comes to a stop on her knees in front of me.

"You were supposed to ask what's better Damon" she scolds me with a mock-glare.

"Well I was working up to it Elena" I tease her and walk back over to stand in front of her and tilt her chin up towards me.

"Tell me, what's better than the feeling of blood flowing through your body?" I ask her huskily and she lets loose one of her sexy as fuck little giggles and pulls me down on top of her before flipping me over and straddling me. God she's _fast_, kinda forgot about that part for a second.

"You" she says with strength and conviction and love dripping from one simple word.

"Just you Damon" and then her mouth crashes against mine and I lose myself in a tangle of sheets and hair and hot wet tongues that collide in a dance we have an eternity to perfect. Eventually I roll myself off of Elena and the position we've found ourselves in and flop down on the bed beside her in a breathless heap against the pillows.

"As much as I would love to keep you in bed all day, we can't" I say turning to face her with a groan.

"The gang will be arriving soon and there are some really important things we need to do and discuss and set into motion" I tell her with a wry smile and she looks at me in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" she asks me with a sigh as she pushes herself up in bed.

I jump off of the bed and pull my shirt on in a flash and then prowl around to her side, grabbing the ring box on my way. I twist her around on the bed so her legs are dangling off the side and kneel down in front of her. No I'm not on one fucking knee so don't ask. I'm on both knees.

"Well first of all" I say and open the box with a flourish. "A little something to stop you from burning in the midday sun" I tell her with a grin.

Elena gasps when she sees the ring and her hand flies to her mouth. I searched for it fucking everywhere. I knew there would come a time when she would turn and I wanted to find the perfect ring for that very day. Today. I'm guessing by the expression on her face that I've done a good job.

After all the searching I finally found what I was looking for. It's a simple silver band that twists and turns with glittering diamonds and lapis-lazuli into the twisted vine of a rose. It's simple. It's elegant. It's stunning. It's beautiful and it's perfect for Elena. Or at least I hope it is.

"Damon oh my god" Elena breathes out and reaches out to touch the rose but I snap the box against her fingers gently and she giggles at me with tears in her eyes.

"It's so perfect Damon, absolutely perfect" she assures me. Well good, at least I got that part right.

"Listen Elena" I begin speaking and pick the ring out of the box gently with my fingers before taking her hand. I look up and stare directly into eyes that glitter and possess me, eyes that have captured my entire being so very effortlessly.

"I'm going to kill Klaus for you Elena. I don't know how I'm going to do it and I don't know what I'm going to have to do to get it done. And sometimes, I might have to do things that you're not gonna like" Elena lifts her hand and strokes her fingers down my cheek. "Damon" she says softly.

"No let me finish sweetheart" I tell her and reach up to take her hand in mine and squeeze gently.

"Klaus has to die. And I will do this for you. For all of us. And when I'm done, and when you're ready" I slip the ring onto the second finger of her left hand.

"And when you're ready" I repeat myself. "It would make me the happiest vampire in the entire world if you'd move that ring to the next finger along. If you still want me" I whisper the last four words at her and I'm not gonna lie, there are tears. There is a single tear. Doesn't stay there long though because Elena reaches out and wipes it away.

Okay granted, as far as proposals go it was probably pretty shit but it's the best I got so you'll just have to accept it for what it is. I'm sure you've all probably worked out by now that I don't exactly handle the emotional stuff altogether well. Not that Elena does either, she still hasn't responded to my somewhat proposal and her hand is shaking against my cheek and there are tears spilling down her face.

Did I do it really wrong? Was it that bad? Should I have waited? I did say when _she_ was ready, right? She got that part, didn't she?

"Damon" she speaks!

Well it was more of a whisper actually but it's a start. I snap my head back up to look at her and she pulls her hand away from my face again and slips the ring off of her finger before passing it back to me with a sweet smile. I am confused. What is she doing? Why is she giving it _back_?

Elena clears her throat and wipes the tears from her cheeks before speaking again.

"Damon" she says my name with more clarity this time.

"I love you. I have loved you. I still love you and I will love you for_ever_. It doesn't matter what you do, what _we_ do because I will always love you. We might fight, we might argue" she looks at me and giggles. "Because we're well, us, and sometimes we might not like each other very much but through it all I'll still _love_ you and nothing can ever change that" she stops and holds her hand back out to me.

"So please Mr. Salvatore, make _me_ the happiest vampire in the entire world and put that ring on my finger where it belongs. I'm ready Damon" she whispers the last three words at me and I'm not gonna lie, there are tears. Plural, coursing down my face as I slip the ring on her finger with a quiet and simple "I love you."

Sorry folks; Damon Salvatore is officially off the market. I'm gonna marry the girl of my dreams.

Elena and I get to spend twenty minutes or so celebrating our new found status and then the front door bursts open and a rush of voices come spilling into the front hall.

"Hello? Are we decent?" Katherine hollers and Stefan laughs.

"Where are they?" I hear Little Gilbert question and Blondie giggles while Sabrina replies "where do you think?" and I can almost picture her exaggerated eye roll.

"Coming" I shout down to them and turn back to face Elena.

"No you're not, don't lie" she says with a wicked grin. "But you should be" she finishes and laughs as she throws back my own words from months ago at me, such a tease. I growl at her and nip her shoulder with blunt teeth while she shrieks and bats at me playfully.

"Get dressed" I tell her as I jump off of the bed.

"We've got an Original to kill" I remind her and leave her to get dressed in peace.


	35. These Violent Delights Have Violent Ends

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews, I'd just like to take a second to respond to a review from a Guest yesterday because I can't do it personally. I understand that some of you might take issue with the way Damon has been, tricked for lack of a better word on two separate occasions and some of you might feel that his reactions to such trickery has been OOC. Personally I don't feel like it's OOC on either Elena or Damon's part.**

**Canon has shown that Elena is more than capable of cutting Damon out of her grand plans to get her own way/protect him from his own impulses and canon has also shown that while he might not *like* her actions he does understand them, and more importantly forgives them.**

**He absolutely was pissed off when Elena risked her life on a chance but in the end he understood why she did it. As far as her turning was concerned, it was a simple case of timing. There was no time to tell Damon because he was with Klaus, had that not been the case then Elena absolutely would have discussed it with him beforehand and asked him for his blood instead. I hope this clears up my thinking at least a little bit. Sorry for the massive essay. If any of you got this far then I hope you enjoy today's chapter. **

**These Violent Delights Have Violent Ends**

_These violent delights have violent ends  
>And in their triumph die, Like fire and powder<br>Which, as they kiss, consume – William Shakespeare_

I head down the stairs and find the little make-shift gang congregating in the living room. "How is she?" Jeremy demands the second I come into the room. "She's fine, absolutely perfect. She'll be down in a minute" I assure him and he nods his head gratefully before sinking down on to the couch and looking towards the stairs.

I take a couple of strides and come to a stop in front of Katherine. "Uh, thanks Katherine again, for yesterday" I tell her and pat her on the shoulder rather awkwardly a couple of times. She bursts out a little laugh. "It's fine Damon, had to do _something_" she says and bats me on the arm gently. I figure that's probably as close to a hug as Katherine and I will ever get and flash her a grin.

Every head in the room swivels when Elena walks in looking as angelic as ever. Her hair hangs in soft waves around her shoulders and she's wearing a simple cream lacy sundress. She looks a little embarrassed that everyone is just standing and staring at her but then she shrugs it off.

"Hi guys" she says a little shyly before wandering over to stand in front of the window directly in a beam of sunlight streaming into the house. Everyone gasps. Including me even though I'm the one that just put the damn ring on her finger.

Elena giggles and lifts her hand out in front of her, twisting her wrist this way and that and the sunlight reflects off of the diamonds on her ring sending sparkles across her face and bouncing around the room.

It doesn't take long for Katherine, Sabrina and Blondie to realise what's happened and they rush over to Elena in a tangled group of "Oh my God!" "Let me see" "Elena!" "Tell me _everything_ right now. What did he say? Did he get down on one knee? Did you cry? Did _he_ cry? Can I plan the wedding?" "Oh my god that ring is _stunning_" and then Elena gets lost in the circle of girls surrounding her and all I can hear is her happy laughter.

For my part I just stand in the middle of the living room probably looking rather mortified but equally delighted. I hadn't really thought this far ahead, not that I have any problems with her sharing the good news. I just hadn't considered it before.

Stefan strides over to me and claps me on the back. "Congratulations brother I'm happy for you" he says warmly and I thank him before turning to Jeremy.

"You coulda' told me dude" he mock-complains at me and stands up off of the couch to come and stand in front of me. "It wasn't exactly planned kid" I tell him with a smirk. That's half a lie actually. I was totally planned; I just hadn't planned on doing it so soon. I thought there were going to be a few more years before Elena turned vamp but I absolutely don't mind my plans being derailed in this situation.

"We cool man?" I ask him with a light punch to the shoulder which he returns. "Yeah we're cool bro'" he replies with a smirk and I grin back at him. "Told you we'd make a happy little vampire family" I remind him of our conversation in the car and he laughs.

Katherine saunters over to me and smiles sincerely "I'm happy for you Damon" she says with warmth. "Me too Kit-Kat, me too" I reply with a happy smile. When the girls are quite finished fawning and 'oohing' and 'aahing' over the ring I give Elena a quick kiss and then get everyone situation before taking the floor to get down to business.

"All right folks it is time for the Diabolical Plan: The Return" I say with a grin "we're gonna figure out how to kill Klaus and then we're gonna do it. And when we've done it Elena and I, and Blondie apparently, are going to throw the wedding of the century and celebrate with the biggest damn party this town has ever seen" I say simply and shrug my shoulders.

"Sound good?" I ask with a grin and everybody laughs. Katherine opens her mouth to rain on my parade again but I stop her before she gets a chance.

"Katherine" I warn her lowly "I _know_ what you're gonna say so don't" she raises her hands and indicates for me to continue. "I didn't say I know _how _we're gonna do it, I just said that we're gonna do it. He has to die, it's as simple as that and no creature is truly immortal. There _has_ to be a witchy work-around" I say turning to flash Bonnie a grin "we just have to _find_ it" I conclude.

"He's going to come back for me isn't he?" Elena whispers and I come to kneel down in front of her. "I'm just delaying the inevitable Damon" she says looking up at me with tears in her eyes. "Hey, hey" I reach out and hold her chin gently in my hands so she doesn't try to avoid looking at me "do you trust me?" I ask her softly.

"Of course I do" she replies. "What did I tell you? I will do this Elena. I won't let him hurt you, I promise you" I whisper at her and lean in to kiss her. A soft moan erupts from my throat when her tongue caresses mine and then I remember that we are very much not alone so I pull back rather abruptly and clear my throat.

"Well" I say when I stand up and turn back to face the group of people that are trying very hard, and failing pretty miserably to prevent their laughter. "I hope you enjoyed the show" I say with a smirk and the room dissolves into fits of giggles.

Eventually Katherine stops laughing and brings up the point that was going to be next on my list. "Elena has a point Damon, I mean Klaus will come for her" she shoots Elena an apologetic look before continuing "and that could be a slight problem considering you all live in the house that any vampire can now enter" she finishes wryly.

Elena gasps as she realises the truth of Katherine's statement and her hand flies to her mouth while her eyes dart wildly as if Klaus is going to come rushing through the doors to kill her right this very second. Better fucking not or none of us will walk away alive.

"Which is why Mr. Jackson is currently on his way here" I say and jab my thumb towards Jeremy. "Younger Gilbert will now be taking ownership of Casa Salvatore-Gilbert" I say with a roll of my eyes "god only knows what we're gonna do when he turns but hopefully Klaus will be long dead by then so we won't have to worry about it anymore" I say with a hopeful smile that turns happier when I hear Elena's little breathy sigh of relief.

"You're giving _me_ your house?" Jeremy asks incredulously. "It's _our_ house kid but yes, essentially. You're the only one left that's suitable for the job at the moment" I tell him with a wry grin. "Come on vampires let's wait outside, lawyer will be here soon. Bonnie you need to stay here and witness the legal jargon, have fun kids" I say when I hear the lawyer's car pull up outside.

Stef, Katherine, Elena, Blondie and I all make our way outside and if Mr. Jackson wonders why we're all standing around outside he doesn't ask. 'Course that could be something to do with the fact that he's been compelled to within an inch of his life not to ask questions.

The whole exchange happens in less than five minutes and when the lawyer leaves Elena tries to get into her house and runs smack bang into the magical barrier she forgot about. She bats at it with her fist a couple of times and then turns to me with a frustrated huff. "My house is _broken_ Damon" she whines at me with playful sadness.

"How does it feel to not be able to get to the place you wanna be?" I ask her with a sly grin and she huffs at me again and then bats me with her fist. "Are you _ever_ not gonna be mad at you for locking you in the house?" she asks with a grin. "Oh I'm not mad sweetheart. You've proven how sorry you are time and _time _again" I assure her with a wicked smile.

"Dude, seriously? You gotta stop that man she's my _sister_" Jeremy complains at me from the other side of the barrier. "I'm not gonna let you in if you keep that up" he scolds me but he's got a wide grin on his face all the same. "Yeah well like I said before, you have fun cleaning the place Little Gilbert"

"He knows she's not _actually_ his sister, right?" Katherine asks Stefan and both Jer and I turn to give her an incredulous look.

"What?" she demands "look can we just get back inside the house please? I don't like standing around out here, we're like sitting ducks" she has a point actually. Now that I think about it outside is probably not the safest place for us to be congregating right now.

"All right do the honours kid" I say turning back to face Jeremy and wrapping my arm around Elena's shoulders.

"Can I do it all at once, or do I have to do it one at a time?" he asks me in a confused tone. It's a good question actually, I'm not entirely sure myself.

"Just, try it all at once and if it doesn't work we can go back to the start" I suggest with a shrug and he nods.

"Okay uh, Elena, Damon, Blondi-Caroline I mean, Stefan, would you come inside please?" he asks and takes a few steps backwards while Caroline giggles at him. I reach my hand out and it goes right through the front door. "Huh, guess it worked then" I say and pull Elena into the house and we head through to the living room.

Jeremy stops Katherine at the front door. "Elena is my _sister_" he says in a tone that leaves no room for argument. "I don't care if she came from Mars in a space ship at birth and got dropped off on our front door by a stork; she is my sister, she is my _family_. So don't ever say that she's not again. Okay?" he demands.

God I love that kid. Elena's hand shakes a little in mine and there are tears running down her cheeks.

"Okay okay I'm sorry" Katherine says raising her hands and looking suitably chastised. "Can I come in now please?" she asks and turns her head back to look over her shoulder. "Yeah come in Katherine" Jer says and walks over to Elena. I let go of her hand and wander over to close the front door behind Katherine in an attempt to give them some kind of privacy.

"Thanks Jer" Elena whispers at her brother and pulls him towards her for a hug. I keep an eye on her just to make sure she doesn't try to chew on him but she handles herself remarkably well. "Love you 'Lena" Little Gilbert whispers and Elena cries harder "I love you too Jer" she tells him.

I give them a few more seconds and then come to a decision. "Okay there has been decidedly too much crying in this house for one day" I say with a clap of my hands "what's say we get some pizza, drink some alcohol, brainstorm ways to kill and un-killable vampire hybrid?" I suggest with a grin.

Everyone agrees and I chuck my phone to Jeremy "order in some pizza kid" I tell him before turning to Elena "you get to have alcohol _and_ blood sweetheart" I tell her and pour her a glass of bourbon before going to retrieve a blood bag for her from the basement. When I come back and hand her the glass she looks up at me with a grin "don't I get pizza too?" she asks playfully. "I suppose that could be arranged" I reply with a grin and give her a quick kiss.

Over our lunch we try to come up with ideas to kill the un-killable. "I guess I could ask Grams to try and contact the witches about the dagger again" Bonnie suggests speculatively "the real dagger that is" she adds with an apologetic smile towards me but I just wave her apologies and words away with my hand.

"Mm-mm" I say through a mouthful of pizza. "Not gonna work. Forget about the daggers" I tell them when I've swallowed my food and shake my head.

"What? Why?" Stefan asks in confusion "with all of us it can't be that hard to hold him down for long enough that someone could dagger him...I mean I don't know where we would find a human willing to do it" he continues with a shrug of his shoulders "but I guess we could compel one if we have to" he finishes. I see Jeremy open his mouth to presumably offer his services once again but I speak before he gets a chance to start.

"Ah-ah don't bother Little Gilbert it makes no difference. Like I said forget about the daggers. They won't work on Klaus" I tell the little group before me. The only person who doesn't look surprised by my information is Katherine but that doesn't really shock me, the girl seems to know most of everything.

"What do you mean they won't _work_ Damon? How do you know?" Elena asks me. Can we maybe just leave it as, I know and be done with it? No? Oh fine.

"They won't work because the daggers are silver and, contrary to popular belief silver heals wolves and I _know_ because I happened to come across…" whoever said honesty was the best policy? I'd quite like to throttle that person right about now.

"A pack of them once upon many moons ago. I decided that it probably wasn't the smartest idea to let them run around the place so I tried to kill one of them with silver and nearly got killed myself for my trouble. After that I just ripped out their hearts and didn't worry about it anymore" I finish my story with a wry smile and Katherine flashes me a devious grin that I don't return because frankly I'm more concerned about Elena's response.

She looks up at me and truthfully she looks a bit sick. "How many is a _pack_, Damon?" she asks icily. Man I should _not_ have led with this story.

I run the memory through my mind quickly. Dark quiet night. Wolf-pub in Florida. A little compulsion for the bartender and a bit of a brawl. I walked away leaving ripped out hearts and a few snapped necks behind me as I burned the place to the ground.

"Uh, around ten I think. Coulda been more I'm not entirely clear on the numbers" I reply casually.

Look I get it, I've said it before and I'll probably say it again. I've done plenty of bad things, I'm not a saint and I never claimed to be one and if she wants to rant and rave at me then I'll let her but I'm not about feel bad, again, for something that happened almost thirty years ago when I was reigning in my period of terror and let's face it, better them than me. If I hadn't killed them then I sure as shit wouldn't be sitting in this living room right now telling you all my life story.

"You _murdered_ 10, possibly_ more_ innocent human beings? For what? What did they do to _you_ Damon?" Elena shouts at me, her voice getting louder as she goes along and she jumps up from the ground. I get to my feet instantly as well and Katherine, Stefan, Blondie, Bonnie and Jeremy all make a sharp escape to the other side of the room.

"First of all they weren't _innocent human beings_ Elena" I shout at her "they were _werewolves"_ I grit out and I guess we're about to find out just how much Elena means what she said to me this morning.

Just how _ready_ she really is. Just how much she really still loves me regardless of the things I've done because let me assure you, killing a pack of wolves is by _far_ not the worst thing I have ever done so if she can't handle this then I think we're gonna be in some serious trouble.

"The answer is _nothing_ Elena" I say a little quieter.

"They did _nothing_ to me. I decided they were a threat and I took them out and it's that simple. Sure I probably coulda' just left town and let them get on with it but I didn't w_ant_ to Elena. And you can either take me as I am or you can watch me as I leave sweetheart because there are parts of me that I can't even change for _you_" I spit my words out at her and she responds by slapping me. Hard across the face.


	36. The Things We Lost In The Fire

**A/N: Oh, ye of little faith in my Elena. I'm actually glad that people felt Elena was OOC in the last chapter. It was intentional on my part so clearly I'm doing something right. **

**As far as the entire story is concerned I'd just like to clear things up a bit. This is not your typical 'Elena redeems Damon and he becomes the better man for her' story. This is a 'Delena are destined and he was *already* a better man' story and in my very first chapter I made it clear that there would be character differences. **

**They are different people than Show!Elena and Show!Damon, they have been on a different journey and no matter how much I've tried to keep them in character – there were always going to be differences. Some people will like those, some people will not and I appreciate your opinions and your views on the matter. **

**Having said that I have strived to keep their fundamental, core personality traits intact – Elena's selflessness, compassion; Damon's overwhelming capacity for love, loyalty and his impulsiveness. If that's not coming across well then I can only apologise, at the same time, if you don't like the story then please, don't feel compelled to read it. **

**Fair warning: Damon may be a little OOC in the next couple of chapters. **

**The Things We Lost In The Fire**

_Things we lost to the flames, things we'll never see again  
>We were born with nothing and we sure as hell have nothing now<br>Do you understand that we will never be the same again?  
>These are the things, the things we lost, the things we lost in the<br>Fire, fire, fire – Bastille_

A collective gasp flies around the room as the sting from Elena's palm reverberates across my cheek and into the silence. That silence is shattered when I drop the glass in my hand and it smashes into a million little fragments on the floor.

Elena's hand flies to her mouth as my head snaps up to look at her in anger and confusion and I don't know if she's in shock because she hit me or if she thinks she's going to be sick because of my story. She turns and flies towards the front door but thankfully Katherine reaches her before I can even begin to blink myself out of the fog in my head and Elena tumbles right into her.

"Elena" Katherine says her name harshly and grips her by the shoulders.

"_Stop_. You can't go outside it is too dangerous. Rant, scream, rage, slap, do whatever the hell you want to do but you have to do it in _here_" she tells Elena sternly and maintains her death grip on Elena's shoulders. Honestly the girl took the damn words right out of my mouth.

I'm honestly in disbelief that she _hit_ me. Actually, I don't care that she hit me; it was sorta fucking sexy; I'm just surprised at _Elena_. I've never known her to get so aggressive before, but I suppose she is just a baby-vamp and it's kinda hard to get a handle on all those emotions to begin with. I shake my head to clear the fog and watch as Elena does the same thing in front of Katherine.

Nobody has said a single word but they're all standing over there, huddled in a little group behind the couch with various looks of shock and awe crossing their features.

"Are you going to stay if I let go?" Katherine asks Elena and she nods so Katherine releases her grip. She throws me a small smile and walks back behind the couch to join the others and presumably witness wherever this little fight is going along with the rest of them. I'd tell them to leave but honestly I'm almost beyond caring. I just want to get to the end of the story and I've already given them one free show today. What's another in the grand scheme of things?

Elena stands still in front of the door for another couple of seconds and then turns on her heel and strides over to me, eyes blazing with fiery determination that I recognise ever so well and I brace myself for another slap while schooling my features into a neutral mask. Detached indifference that I'm ever so good at pulling off as I prepare to have my heart broken by Elena Gilbert.

All of this because I killed some fucking wolves decades ago. How the fuck did this happen?

Elena comes to a dead stop in front of me and looks up at me sadly.

"I never asked you to change for me Damon" she says softly and I begin to feel my mask slipping. I struggle to pull myself back together again because that was only the beginning of her what's sure to be impassioned break-up speech.

"I love you just the way you are and if you think that you can scare me away with all the _bad_, terrible things that you've done then you are sadly mistaken" she rolls her eyes on the 'bad, terrible' words and honestly this has got to be the oddest break-up speech I've ever heard.

"Why did you do it Damon?" she asks me quietly and I reach out to touch her and then think better of it and jerk my hand back down to my side.

"I told you why I did it" I reply, staring her dead in the eyes and trying to maintain my detachment but Elena just looks at me as if she knows better.

"No. You didn't. You told me what happened and then you told me that you did it because that's just who. you. are." She jabs her finger into my chest between her words and sends jolts of electricity sparking through my body at the same time.

"But that's not who you are Damon" she says softly and rests her hand against my chest. "I know you better than anyone else in this world and I know that's not who you are so you tell me the truth. _Why_ did you _do_ it?" she demands but her tone is gentle.

The problem is that I'm not entirely sure what she wants from me.

I did it because I was angry. I did it because I was kinda embarrassed after failing to take out a wolf with my handy silver knife. I did it because they were a danger to my life. I did it because wolves are a threat to my very species.

Despite that, there is a reason that I didn't just leave town and leave them in peace with my tail between my legs.

I did it because there is a reason that I was so angry in the first place that I decided I was superior enough to take on a wolf. I did it because there is a deadly part of me that comes into full force when the only feelings I know are rage and destruction. And the only time I ever feel that rage and destruction is when, is when something truly, truly horrendously terrible happens to me that I cannot handle.

Elena lifts her hand to my cheek and I snap my head back up to look at her. Her eyes are filled with love and devotion and sweetness and _acceptance_ and I start to drown in them for the millionth time. My mask of indifference is gone. I've lost it. If it was ever there at all and even though I said there had been too much crying for one day I can't stop the tears rolling down my face all the same.

Because I do not think about this. I do not talk about this. I don't think. I don't want to think.

But this is Elena.

Elena who loves me. Elena who is still here with me. Elena who is still looking at me as if I am the only thing in the world she ever wants to look at. Elena who owns me heart and soul.

"Why did you do it Damon?" she asks me again when I haven't said anything in long minutes of silence. Her voice is pure, filled with emotion, filled with love and I know I have to tell her the truth.

Truth that she actually already knows, but I'm going to have to tell her everything, because the reason…the everything, the thing I don't think about. That is the very worst thing I have ever done in my life and if I can tell her that. If I can tell her that and she stays, if she loves me. If she _forgives_ me for what I've done then maybe I can finally start healing the parts of myself that even Elena hasn't been able to touch yet.

I look into her eyes again and she nods her heat at me softly in encouragement and I will tell her. I'll tell her what she asked me and give her the answers she already knows and I'll save the rest of the sad story for later because there are some parts that I don't necessarily want our little audience over there knowing.

"I did it because I flipped the switch. I wasn't myself" I whisper at her and then I sink to my knees under the weight of all the things that I have done and the strength of her love for me in spite of it all.

Elena drops to the ground in front of me and wraps her arms around me and I drop my head into her neck and allow her shoulder to catch my tears and her body to absorb my wracking sobs. I cry like a _girl _and I don't know how long I do it for but the whole time she just kneels, on broken glass no less, holding me and rubbing comforting shapes into my back and she lets me fall apart on top of her and with soft words and gentle kisses she puts me back together again.

Eventually I manage to regain some fucking control of myself and pull away from her. I guess at some point the rest of the gang decided it was a good time to leave because they're not in the living room anymore, although I can hear them all in the kitchen so they've not gone far.

"I'm so sorry" I whisper at Elena although I'm not even sure what I'm apologising for right now. Everything, I think. But she just smiles at me softly and shrugs her shoulders lightly.

"You don't get to be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry I hit you I was just…I was angry at you for trying to push me away. For trying to make yourself something that you're not and I just had to get you to _stop_ but I shouldn't have hit you. I'm sorry" she repeats her apology sadly.

"Hey" I reach out and cup her face in my hands. "If I don't get to be sorry then you don't get to be sorry either. Besides" I say and shrug my shoulders "it was hot as hell" I conclude and give her a wide grin which she returns.

"Are you okay now?" she asks me softly and I nod my head at her. "I love you" she tells me and then she crashes her mouth against mine and we kiss for timeless minutes until eventually I pull away with a groan.

"I guess I have some explaining to do" I say with a jerk of my head towards the kitchen before pulling us both to our feet. I kneel back down again to brush the glass from Elena's knees and press gentle kisses to them even though she's already healed before I pull myself back up again.

"Damon you don't have to" Elena begins but I press a finger to her lips. "I know" I tell her quietly. "But I'm ready. Besides I'm not gonna be telling them much that they haven't already figured out on their own after my bitch at Katherine" I remind her with a laugh and she nods against my finger and that electricity spikes in my blood, in my _veins_, in every part of me once again.

"If you're sure" she whispers and presses a kiss against my finger and I nod at her again and take her hand in my and we walk through to the kitchen together.

"Two shows in one day; you guys should be paying me for this shit" I crack and send my little rag-tag group a grin when we enter the kitchen which goes a little way to breaking some of the tension in the room. I jump up on the counter beside the stove and Elena comes to stand in front of me. She positions herself between my legs with her back against my chest and I rest my chin on her head.

"So I guess you guys already know that I know what all that nasty desiccating shit feels like after my little rant at Kat in the Gilbert kitchen a few months back?" I turn my statement into a question to buy myself some time and everyone nods at me a little sadly.

"Don't. Don't do that. I don't want your pity; I don't need your pity. I just need to tell you my little story and then we can all move on and stop wondering what the hell happened to me, okay?" if there is one thing I cannot abide, it is people pitying me. Well, I can handle a little pity from Elena but anyone else, not so much.

"Back in the 50's I was sold out by a very engineering member of our family" I begin my tale with a wry smile and nod at my brother. "I killed him but there was another man waiting, a doctor and he injected me with vervain and locked me in an underground cell" I stop for a second and press my face into Elena's hair while I try to figure out why the holy hell I ever thought this was a good idea and then I lift my head back up and get the hell on with it.

"To cut a very long and very boring story short" I speak with a bark of a laugh. "I was kept in the cell, tortured on a, sometimes hourly basis actually" I tell them with a slight frown. "We got a daily dose of blood, very nasty really" I remark with an exaggerated shudder and grimace. "Spent 5 long years down in that hell hole and then I got myself the fuck out." Yep. That's what happened. That's exactly how it went down.

"End of story" I conclude with a grin.

Only of course it's not the end of the story because they all want answers to their questions and I'm the one who came up with the brilliant idea of sharing in the first place so I suppose I just have to answer them to the best of my abilities.

"Joseph?" Stefan asks me with a confused expression on his face and I nod in response.

"Yep, that'd be the one. Zach's grandfather; think I may have plunged a crystal glass into his neck, the details are a little blurry these days" I tell him with a grin but Stefan just looks deathly sad; don't much need his pity either.

"Stefan, please don't" I say to try and avoid what I just know is coming next but of course he wants to say his piece so I decide to just let him get on with it and get it over with.

"I didn't know" he whispers numbly. "I would have come for you I swear I would have come. I got message that we were wanted here and when I arrived I found Joseph dead and I just assumed…" he trails off because he knows I know exactly what he assumed; he doesn't need to spell it out for me.

He thought I'd killed old Joe for the sheer hell of it and he never thought to check. Never considered that there might actually have been a reason for me killing someone instead of just for the fuck of it.

"Stef, brother I know you would have come. Listen it's understandable I do kinda have a bad habit of killing people. You couldn't possible have known. Why do you think I never told you? You have an eternally guilty conscience brother, no reason to further add to it" I tell him with what I hope is a reassuring grin and he smiles back although somewhat uneasily. I guess some brother bonding might be required in order to ease his mind over this unholy mess.

"Damon who were these people?" Katherine goes next on the list if people who want to question my history.

"Not really sure Kit-Kat, a group of whacked scientists and doctors working under the umbrella name of the Augustine Society. Spearheaded by one Dr. Whitmore, not a man you'd ever like to meet trust me. Not that you ever will, you'll never meet a single soul because I killed every last one of them" I say without remorse and Katherine gives me another wide smile which I return this time. Girl understands her revenge; hopefully Elena will as well.

The girl in question twists her head around to look at me and she looks both mildly impressed and a little sad as if she's trying to work out whether she should be annoyed at the killing of human beings who also happened to enjoy torturing and cutting tiny pieces of flesh and organs out of vampires or not.

Clearly she decides her morals lie squarely on Team Vampire on this one and she squeezes my hand gently and reaches up to press a quick kiss to my lips before turning back around again.

"What did they _want_ with you?" Jeremy asks. "I mean, what were they trying to achieve here?" he continues in a confused tone.

"I don't really know what the end goal was kid; Doc Whitmore wasn't really all that big on talking to us. One night I got as far as finding out that he was trying to work out the inherent differences between vamps and humans or some shit but honestly all those science-y words don't really mean jack to me" I reply with a shrug and fervently hope that question time is over.

Jeremy nods his head and seems to accept my somewhat lacklustre expression and I place my hands on Elena's shoulders and get ready for this little trip down memory lane to be over. Maybe I can finish my damn pizza now. Or drink ten bottles of bourbon; one or the other really, perhaps both.

"Damon?" I close my eyes. "Blondie?" I grit out between my teeth.

"Damon how did you escape?" and there it is.

There it is. I grip Elena's shoulders a little tighter and she reaches up to stroke my fingers softly.

The problem is. The problem is. The problem is. What is the problem Damon, I hear you ask.

The problem is that yes, I'm going to tell Elena. I have accepted that I'm going to tell Elena. Was in fact planning on telling Elena the second all of these people get out of our house. In no version of my visions of telling Elena were all of these people present, in our house. I finally find myself somewhat ready to talk about what happened that night and now I have to figure out what to do about this.

Because the problem is that these people in our house, they are my friends, they are my family. They are the people who, in possibly misguided ways, love me.

The problem is that if I _don't _tell them then they'll always wonder why. They'll question how I got out and they'll question why I didn't tell them and as a man who understands how it feels to _need_ to know something, I can also understand how incredibly frustrating it can be when you in fact, don't know.

And so the question remains, do I tell them? Do I just get it over with because I'll probably end up telling them at some point anyway and at least this way I get to tell the story just once and be done with it for good?

Or do I keep something to myself?

This is my biggest shame. This is my deepest, darkest secret. This is the worst thing I have ever done in my life. Do I even _deserve_ their absolution? What's worse, forgiveness or hatred?

And I know I'll only get one or the other and I know that I have to make a decision, have to say something because everyone is staring at me waiting for me to speak and I'm not saying a damn thing.

The only person who isn't staring is Elena. She's just softly running her fingers over my hand and I grip it in mine like a life-line as I jump down off of the counter and make my decision.


End file.
